The Witching Hour

IIt is quiet, right now. Except for the TV on in the background, that is. I just took Sabryna out for what I hope is the last time tonight and I am finally taking a little time to natter here.

I came in under 1800 calories for the day. I am calling it a victory.

It is quiet and I am still up because William and Patrick are doing a two time up and back to Bullhead City. Patrick recently bought a new (to him) car and he offered his Mustang to his uncle. My BIL jumped on it, he is having a tough time, right now, his job pays for shit and his wife works but isn't making bank, either and they need a dependable car. Their vehicles are in bad shape and they don't have much much money for repairs and so forth. If I had known what an asshole the person we sold the Jeep to would turn out to be (what a story that turned out to be...) I would have happily given it to BIL. Seriously. I would have rather gifted it to him than have had the thousand dollars form that asshole.

So, BIL is going to pay my son $50.00 a month for twenty month for the Mustang, which will bring Patrick's car payment down to just under a hundred dollars a month for that duration. Lucky brat, got a 2004 Chevy Trailblazer for $143.00 a month. It is a very nice vehicle, clean, runs great and he is thrilled with it. The payment is perfect for him, easy for him to afford and he loves his new SUV. A lot.

So anyway, BIL and the Mustang and why I am home alone... William and Patrick went up to Bullhead to get BIL, brought him here, did the necessary, went to the DMV to take care of the legalities and so forth, the guys went over to MIL's for dinner, then they all took off; BIL driving his "new" car home and William, being William decided too follow him home to be sure that the Mustang makes it safely all the way back. It should. The engine is in good shape and we put a bunch of money into it, made a lot of other repairs... Brakes, shocks, door locks, window motors, cylinoid, fan... A couple of tires... I know that I am forgetting something. I hope that the car runs beautifully for him for a long time. BIL could use a break. I wish that we could do more for him, but this is one thing we can do.

I enjoyed the opening ceremony of the Olympics. I fast forwarded through a little of it. The part about the teenagers and cell phones and shit... Bored me. Thank heaven for my DVR. lol The rest of it was really fun to watch, tho. The Olympic cauldron was genius. So creative and beautiful. And bravo to the director of the ceremony for the high energy, fast paced Parade of Nations. It was nice to see it go so swiftly and not drag on and on and on and on. Well done, overall. It was pretty and creative and yet had a restraint that is so very British.

Sabryna... She is getting worse. She is having increased trouble walking and keeps falling and hurting herself. We had to build a ramp for her to get in and out of the back door as she lost the ability to negotiate the steps to go out and go potty. But she is looking more gaunt and her appetite is on and off and today... Ugh. This morning, I took her out to go potty, then she went back too sleep and I high tailed it downstairs to take a shower, do my makeup and hair. I took a little extra time, played with some different eyeshadow colours and then stripped my bed, as I had decided to wash my sheets. I brought them upstairs and headed for the laundry room and found piles of barf. One on the floor by the water dish, half of it in my flopper. Ick. A pile, puddle, really, in front of my dishwasher and a big one in my laundry room in front of my dryer.

Gah!!!! I am a sympathetic barfer. You barf, I barf. Cleaning all of that up was a treat, let me tell you. It wasn't all her fault. She knows better than to throw up in the house and if she feels sick, she asks to go outside to throw up. She is really good about that. I was downstairs, so she had no choice. Luckily, when she got sick again around five, I was upstairs with her so I was able to take her out and let her do her gross business outside. Poor baby girl. She didn't eat, all day. She finally had a few bites of food, a little while ago and she is sleeping, now.

I want to ge to bed but I can't sleep with everyone gone. and I am afraid that if I go downstairs and go to bed, Sabryna will get sick and I won't be up here to help her. I probably will go soon, tho. I am tired.

I Am In Hell

The smoke from that fire is so bad. My throat, nose eyes and lungs are burning. The sky looks like watered milk most of the time and it is hard to breathe. It is just miserable living here, right now. I would love to track down the asshole who started that fire and kick his ass. I hope that the forest service gets it under control and out, soon. I am soooo over this.

I had a fairly quiet day, today. Did some housework, a load of laundry and watched a lot of TV and bloated my wishlist on Amazon. Oh yes, I have the most exciting life.

Ever.

Eating? Eh... Okay-ish.

I am looking forward to cleaner air so that I can goo walking, again. Right now I can barely breathe in my house I can't imagine trying to log miles out in that smoke filled soup we are calling air, right now.

Sabryna is getting worse. She is having more and more trouble walking. I told William today that I felt that it is time that we make an end of life plan for her. He won't discuss it. I am so frustrated with him. I hate the thought that my dog is old and breaking down, rapidly but it pisses me off that he is acting like a kid about it, refusing to see the reality of the situation and supporting me in this. I have to be the heavy, the mean one, the one who thinks practically while he keeps insisting that she is doing fine and having more good days than not. She isn't. She is having more tough days than not. Her appetite is decreasing, she sleeps more and more and some days she just looks miserable. How much longer is he going to insist that everything is fine? He needs to grow the fuck up, yank his balls down where they belong and join me in being an adult about this.

After Sabryna passes on, I don't want anymore dogs for a good, long while. They are wonderful to have as part of the family but they get old and break down and it is so hard and so sad and I don't even want to think about going through it, yet again.

Only six days and William goes back to work.

Tuesday Evening

A good day has passed. I day in which I wasn't obsessing over bullshit I shouldn't eat. A day in which I felt good, calm and confident.

I hung a sign on my bedroom wall... It reads, "90 Pounds to Lasik!" If that doesn't remind me what I am working toward, I don't know what will. I have wanted to ditch my glasses and contacts for so. Very. Long. And I can, once I get solidly below 200 pounds. The money will be there, I just have to get to that point so that I can reach out, grab it and use it to fix my eyes.

It is still so hot. Heat advisories. Humidity. Hazy skies. We get clouds, a few rumbles of thunder from time to time but little rain. I doubt it is even measurable. It gets more and more dry.

Patrick made flavoured instant oatmeal, today and my house smelled like cinnamon, brown sugar and maple. It smelled like Fall. It smelled so delicious. I was wishing that I could look out the window and see the leaves changing.

Autumn will arrive soon enough.

I have finished knitting a dish towel and am about halfway through another one. Knitting keeps my fingers busy. It is hard to stuff junk in my mouth and knit, at the same time. Tho... I could probably figure out how to do it, if I really wanted to. ^^

So, my stupid cell phone finally killed off the last of it's memory, so it went back to the Verizon store and they ordered me another one, same model. I received the new one, yesterday. New one. Now, that is an interesting term. They sent me a "like new" reconditioned and inspected phone. So, get this... We bought a brand new cell phone. And a warranty that cover it for repair or replacement under just about any circumstances. Drop it and break it? Get a new one. Run over it with the car? Get a new one. Flush it down the john? Get a new one. Phone gets eaten by a Velocaraptor? Get a new one. I need a new phone. What do I get?

Someone else's piece of shit cast off "like new, inspected" old ass phone.

Granted, it is in lovely condition and everything but still... I am a little cheesed. I am cheesed that my old phone was such a piece of crap on a stick and my "new" one, the same model is already proving it's self to be more of the same. The memory is swiftly disappearing. If it holds up for two months, I will be shocked. If you want a 'Droid smartphone, whatever you do, avoid the LG Vortex like the plague. I hope that I will get to upgrade to something with better memory, more power, a better keyboard and more features, later this year.

I never thought that I would hear myself say that! lol Funny how things change.

You want to know what really annoyed me? It took me forfuckingever to find my Simple Calorie Count app, again (Android App Store has been totally redesigned and is an utter pain in the ass to navigate and find apps.) and I had to re install Angry Birds and start all over. Dammit! I was really rocking that game, too. I am getting through the lower levels faster than I did the first time around, tho.

My wedding band is dangerously close to falling off by it's self. If I shake my hand, it flies across the room. lol

Okay, that is about all I have to bore on about, for right now.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

I awoke to quiet and about three inches of the fluffy white stuff on the ground. It is a warmish, wet snow that was already beginning to melt a little, fall off the trees and it won't last long. Forecast is for fifty, tomorrow so even if more falls, it won't hang out long. Crazy weather we have in my neck of the woods. lol

Weight, this morning, back to 288. *sigh* just call me Duncan. You know... Like the yo-yo? Yeah... Lame. But anyhoozle. I need to seriously get my shit together. I have a goal to reach and I won't if I keep screwing around. No one to blame but myself. I am fully responsible for my actions. Now I need to act responsibly.

I took a few photos and a short video with my cell phone, this morning and tried to upload them to my puter. My photos uploaded fine but my video just uploaded as a single frame. Don't know what happened there. When I tried to go back into my gallery to upload it, again? It was gone. I dunno. I'll have to try, try, again until I figure it out. And I will figure it out. I always do. :D So, you almost got to see a little of my surroundings and hear my voice. Maybe that wouldn't have been such a good thing, after all. lol

Marley on Washer. An original work by me, with my cell phone. My phone has a 3.2 MP camera. Decent. Takes a fairly pretty picture, for a phone. You can click the pic, then click it again to get it bigger. Observe the pout. He was begging for Party Mix. I wasn't caving. He was pouting. lol

I just caved and gave him a little Party Mix. That cat is so spoiled! And he knows the difference between Party Mix and his crunchies. I tried to trick him, one day and he totally busted me. lol The funny thing is, Party Mix is basically dry food in a treat bag. But oh! How he loves that stuff! And if he doesn't get a little bit every day, he meows around here like a brokenhearted, starving little waif. Starving little waif, my ass. That little orange creep is getting fat. I am going to have to trim him back a little bit. He is up in the window, behind me, looking out at the snow.

Well, I am about out of stuff to yap about, for now. I am going to drink my coffee then I may go in search of some brekkie. Talk to you all, later. :D

Big Heaping Bowls of Lies

I am trying to type around my cat. Not so much fun, actually. :P

Have you ever watched food commercials and been astonished at the amounts of food heaped everywhere? Bountiful piles of food all around, feeding us the comforting lie that if we just indulge in those piles of food we will be happier, healthier, more beautiful, have a happier family life and a better marriage/relationship.

I feel that advertisers are part of the evil that is the obesity epidemic in this country. Am I blaming them for my weight problems? For the weight problems of everyone in this country? Around the world? Certainly not. At least, not directly. But I am handing them some of the culpability. It is their job, after all to make whatever product they are charged with selling to look irresistible, make us believe that we can't live without it. That our lives would be empty, our health would suffer, our beauty fade away, our families fall apart without this product.

It is  the advertisers' job to make us want the product. And they do their job beautifully. Unfortunately, they so drastically distort reality to the point that we consumers have some to see the distortions as reality. And therein lies the problem. And their culpability. We have been brainwashed to believe that if we use this overpriced "Beauty Fliude" hawked by such and such a fah-fah French(ified) company that we forty something gals with our fine lines, beginnings of wrinkles, our starting to sag jowls and baby wattles will instantly look like the precisely styled, airbrushed, carefully lit, digitally altered teenager in the commercial and print ads in our favourite fashion mags. Now, I am not saying that taking care of our skin is a bad thing. I happen to believe strongly that we gals should take the best care we can of our skin. I have a good routine and am particularly fond of certain Neutrogena Ageless Intensives and Loreal Youth Code products. They work for me. Do they make me look like that unrealistically perfected teenager? No frakking way. Nor am I deluded enough to expect them to. But I do think that they aid, somewhat, in my looking and feeling the best I can, for my advanced age.

Thanks to commercials we believe that if Bob-Mr. The Biggest Loser trainer-Harper is digging into an enormous, heaping bowl of oatmeal or oat based cereal squares and is fit, muscular and healthy, than we will be, too. The simple fact of the matter is, those commercials are a lie and they are doing us a grave disservice. They are, in fact, doing us a great deal of harm.

How, you ask? How can oatmeal be harmful? How can healthy oat squares cereal full of good for your bod whole grains be a bad thing? The simple answer is of course, they aren't. When they are eaten in the correct portions. But the portion distortion shown in those commercials would be hilarious if they weren't so damned tragic. And the fact that a much respected trainer is endorsing these huge portions of an otherwise very beneficial food is, in my opinion a travesty.

On his show, The Biggest Loser, Bob Harper teaches the contestants about nutrition and portion control. How to eat the right things in the right amounts. Crucial things for obese persons to learn, yes? Yet, in his commercials, he is seen digging joyfully into huge bowls heaped high above the rims with oatmeal studded with those oh-so-healthy blueberries and crisp, woven oat squares swimming in milk while faded, sunlit scenes of healthy, slender, active, golden people flash across the screen around him and while we watch him running lightly, strongly across the landscape. And we are expected to swallow this bullshit. Hook, line and sinker. And swallow the cereal in such massive amounts, too, it seems.

The proper portion of oatmeal is 1/2 cup. Of most cold cereals? 3/4 to one cup. I am sorry, love-bugs, but those quantities don't come anywhere close to heaping high above the rim of a large, over sized cereal bowl. And for Bob Harper to allow such an obvious distortion to be made in his name, with his hard won image makes me respect and trust his word less than I used to. And makes me wonder just how good his word really is if he is willing to sell it so cheaply. Maybe that is crazy thinking and talk. I am full of crazy, which you already know, if you have been reading my nattering for any length of time. But I just happen to believe that if a highly visible and respected fitness trainer is going to endorse a product as healthy, he should insist on showing that product in it's correct portion.

I own a set of dishes that have bowls about the same size as the ones seen in those commercials and I can tell you for an absolute fact that one portion of oatmeal or cold cereal doesn't look like those commercials when served up in my bowls. So, if you see those commercials and want to buy and eat the cereals, by all means, do so. They are yummy and good for us. But measure carefully. And maybe use a smaller bowl.

Proper perspective and realistic expectations. They are crucial. We have to be able to sift through the idealized and distorted "reality" of advertising and glean from it the real truth. Because God forbid they actually show us the truth. Unthinkable! Think I'm full of shit? Just try to make your mascara make your lashes look like the commercials and print ads that drove you to run to the department store or drugstore to buy that brand and apply it, in hopes of long, thick, lush, waving fans of lashes. lol Mascara is a good thing, my friends. I won't leave my house without it. But unless you are willing to apply false lashes every day, don't expect any mascara, no matter how expensive or graced with some fancy French unpronounceable name to make you look like those ads.

Perspective. You have to have it. Because the advertisers won't give it to you, my friend. Not for your face. Not for your food.

It is a nice day, today. Overcast but pleasant. Windy, on and off. We are expecting lower temps for the rest of the week, starting tomorrow and some rain, too. Happily, it isn't supposed to get cold enough to snow. Do not want cold. Do not want snow. I like rain, tho. :D

It is a lazy Sunday in this household. Pookey slept until just a few minutes ago and has finally dragged himself out of bed and gotten himself some food. Pizza rolls. Healthy late brekkie, huh? lol Willy Dog is lying on the sofa, hogging the remote. Sabryna is passed out on her beddies and I am sitting here, unshowered, hair all piled up in a scrunchie, needing desperately to pee typing this. I slept until almost nine-thirty myself, this morning. I guess I needed the sleep. Gar!!! The water! It runs through me! BRB.

How many times have I seen Beverly Hills Cop? Enough times that I can run the lines with the movie. *sigh* Husbands and remotes. There outta be a law. A law, I say. Right now, Willy Dog is passed out cold. Snoring. But, if I were to pick up my remote (yes, we each have our own remote) and even think about changing the channel, his eyes would pop open and his remote would automatically, instantly be pointed at the TV while his glance would slide over to me, as if to tell me that I don't dare. You think I'm joking? :P

I think it is a man thing...

The movie has ended and he is on to baseball. Bleargh. And snoring, again.

Yes, that is how long this fucking post is taking me to write, edit, re write. I swear, I could give birth faster and more easily than I can write a blog entry.

Oh! And, after ten thousand typos and typing at a speed that makes my normal typing look like the speed of light, I did kick the cat off me.

He wasn't happy.

Too bad.

Just click Publish Post, Erika. You have done all you can. :P

Current Weight

288.8 down 5.1 pounds. Woot!

I have to be honest... I don't know how the hell I managed it.  lol I guess just not indulging is so much food fuckery, drinking my water and actually trying to stay on track actually works. Who knew? ;)

It feels really good to have my scale headed in the right direction, again. All the battling and struggling wasn't pleasant but I guess I needed to do it. I am feeling better and encouraged and uplifted. I needed a nice little drop, an affirmation to myself that I am doing the right thing. *whew!* Thank you all for your support and encouragement. <3 I <3 you, all!

It is a pretty day today. Clear and it is supposed to warm up really nicely. The lake trails should be nice and dry, again and you know what that means... Mama can go out and walk the trails, again. The city needs to build covers over all of the trails to keep them nice and dry so that we can walk them, even in the worst of weather. Hell, heat them in the Winter and air condition them in the Summer, too. Now, that is a fantasy made in a sci fi book, yes? :D

Marley now has a Catbook profile on Facebook. If anyone has a kitty or is an admirer and would like to friend him or your kitty would like to friend him, clickety, click to travel to his profile. Marley will accept friend requests, kitteh and human. :D

I am drinking coffee, then I think I will have brekkie. I am almost out of eggs, so methinks oatmeal is on the menu. Which is fine, I had eggs, yesterday. I have been eating just whites, lately. I normally do one whole egg and two or three whites, (I have normal cholesterol, so the yolks aren't a problem for me) but I can cut the calories by just doing whites. (Duh!!!) I season them with a little salt and pepper, some Tobasco, a pinch of garlic powder, a nice sploodge of yellow mustard (learned that trick from Tammy :D) and soften them with a little splash of fat free half and half. I used to use water, but water just waters out when the eggs cook and that grosses me out, so ff 1/2 &1/2 it is. It works. I do kind of miss the yolk, and I still have one now and again but all egg whites still gives me the protein I need and when I add a little sauteed onion and mushroom and a little light cheese or a wedge of Laughing Cow Light or a T. of light cream cheese, some salsa, it is filling and good and, well... Nom, nom, nom.

It is the first of March. And that means, Spring allergies. My beak is going crazy. My eyes should follow, soon. Bleargh! I am half tempted to try Claritin, this year. I am sooo tired of the symptoms. But Claritin is spendy. I need to see if my Health Fund pays for it. It does pay for certain OTC drugs and so forth. I should also see if it pays for my vitamins, too. Vitamins are expensive, especially when you take a pile of stuff. I don't know why I didn't think of this, before. Dur! Brain dead old battleaxe, I am. :P

Okay. I am hongry, my bed needs to be made and I want a shower, so I am going to release you from the torture of reading this crap, for now.

Later, gators.

Cats and Dogs...

Water, Water Everywhere

I am up to closing in on a gallon of water and a glass of Crystal Light. Food is going well, too.

It was a sunny, warm day. It got up into the low seventies. I can't believe this weather. It is weird, for this part of the state, this time of year. I am worried that it is going to be eighty degrees on Christmas. lol A white Christmas would have been lovely. We haven't had one. All the years we lived down in Peeples Valley it would snow up here on Christmas Eve, it was gorgeous. We move up here and... Nothing. It is usually sunny, dry and blah.

The weather gods hate me. That is all there is to it. lol

I had lots of fun doing housework. Dusting, vacuuming, cleaning and so on. Oh, my pants are about to fall off.. I guess it is time to retire these old things, once and for all before I end up standing in the middle of my living room with my pants around my ankles.

I think I will call that an NSV.

All this water is making my body happier. I am not puffy and I never feel thirsty. And, the constant runs to the bathroom have slowed a little. I think I am adjusting to my increased fluid intake. And my lower calorie intake. I am trying to prevent myself from sliding back up, up, up. Letting myself get away with 1600, then 1700, higher... And justifying it and telling myself it is okay, just that once. Uh... No. It isn't. It isn't okay to allow myself to get out of control and eat too much. Not now. Not ever. I have to make this not only my way, now but my way, always. I have to make it a way of life, not "just losing weight".

When I do get to goal I will have to accept that it will be a lifetime job to stay on top of my eating and stay in maintenance. I will never be able to let this go.  I will never be "done". This is for the rest of my life. So I might as well get used to it.

Quiet, right now. Pookey is at work until midnight and Willy Dog hasn't got home, yet. I love the rare quiet evenings like this, with the house quiet, the Christmas lights on and the animals sleeping peacefully. It probably not last long. I am just enjoying it, for now.

My head is ramping up for a gale force blow. I went almost a week without a full on headbanger. I think that was my Christmas present. lol

Okay, time to hit the head then I am going to strap on the old feed bag. I wants me some dinner.

Thanksgiving is My Bitch

I ended the day at 1850 calories. Considering it was Thanksgiving, that I had an extra roll with dinner and an avocado for lunch... Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all. Still in weight loss territory for me. Comfortably so. I not only had an enjoyable day and a delicious dinner, I learned that I can chow down, fill my tummy to complete happiness, have flavour and fun and not blow myself out of the water.

I expect a bit of puff action... I was kind of a bad girl with the salt. (Gets me, every time, dangit!) But a few days of downing fluids will take care of that.

I made a yummy green bean dish that Son and I both went over the moon for. I will most likely make it to go with Christmas dinner, too. I think I have found a very nice substitute for my much beloved green bean casserole. I'll post the recipe-ish if anyone is interested. I say recipe-ish because I don't measure when I cook. I just close my eyes, throw stuff in the pan, give it all a stir and see what comes out. :P In this case, it was something kinda tasty.

Yeah. That extra roll. Rhodes Warm and Serve rolls. The bestest frozen, ready to bake rolls, evah! Seriously delicious. Soft, but not too squishy, ever so slightly sweet, yeasty and rich. Lovely little goblins, they. And at 160 calories a piece, definitely workable into my diet, from time to time as a treat. I know better than to have two. I really do. But they were so. good. And I just... Wanted one more. So I had it. It wasn't mindless, I made the conscious decision to go for it and I logged the calories. Kind of like that damned avocado I ate with my turkey sandwich for lunch.

Yes, I had a turkey sandwich for lunch.

Before I had turkey for dinner. :P

I made the easiest turkey on the planet, today. Jennie O Oven Ready boneless, skinless turkey breast. Freezer to oven, after preheating, one minute flat. Line a small baking dish with foil (to catch drips and make for easy cleanup of pan :D) Open outer bag, place turkey breast in the oven cooking bag in the pan, poke a few holes in the bag and toss it into the oven. 2 1/2 hours later, perfect, moist, juicy white meat turkey. Fast, easy and fool proof. Exactly my kind of cooking. Or roasting, in this case. :D I did a full sized Oven Ready turkey, one year. It was also lovely and delish. And easy-peasy.

I even got some exercise, today. We did some running around, went to Safeway and WalMart for some stuff.Came home and put everything away, then I had some foundation to return to CVS and since they were open, I went in, returned the makeup and concealer (why is drugstore makeup so dark? Ivory, my ass!) picked out lighter shades of foundation and concealer, searched frantically for Revlon Purplex. Didn't find it, Begged the gal working there to see if they had it in the back. She refused. Bought a couple of Milani polishes instead, then went to several more stores, searching frantically for the polish I wanted. And still want. I couldn't find it, anywhere.

Prescott sucks. Seriously. If we get something new in stores, it is so much later than other places. I hate that. Now I am going to be a bundle of nerves until I find and get a bottle of that frakking polish. Why can't stores around here just get them in when everyone else does?

So, with all of my shopping, running up and down and up and down my stairs several times and in and out of store after store, I got a pretty nice little walk.

I gave Sabryna her Ultimate Busy Bone just as we sat down to eat dinner. Now, small Busy Bones are gone in less than five minutes. They are a mere chew for that mutt. Full Sized Busy Bones can last fifteen, if we get the Ultimate. The one she got, today was for big dogs and it was huge. That sucker cost five-fifty. And it was worth every penny. It took Sabryna an hour and ten minutes to eat that thing. And we got to eat in peace. No begging, no obnoxious barking and speaking (serves me right, using food to teach her to speak and whisper :P) or breathing on us while we chowed down on our turkey and trimmings. Marley got a saucer of bits and pieces of turkey, which he happily ate and licked the saucer clean.

I had planned to make this post a quickie, tonight.

You know what they say about best laid plans.

He he. Get it? Quickie? Laid?

Har. Har.

I kill myself, sometimes.I'm just so freaking fonny.

Oh, and did I mention is was cold, today? It got down to 14 degrees, last night. Our high was 42. Brrr! And it is cold again, tonight. We are supposed to get to a low of 19. I do believe that cooler weather has finally settled into the area.

Happy Hallowe'en!

BOO!!

Just say no to candy. 

It is a chilly morning and I finally dragged my arse out of the sack, made coffee and fired up my fireplace. I lay in that bed, shivering for far too long. I could have been up and warm long before this. I also don't need to shiver, if I would haul out my quilt, run it through the wash and put it on my bed. Duh! 

No plans for today. Just to stay on track. I imagine it will be a quiet day. Son has to work and Husband is in lie on the sofa and veg mode, this weekend. We have stuff stashed on the DVR that we need to watch and clear from the memory. Woooopie!!!!!! Too much excitement for this girl. *sarcasm*

Okay, I need another cup of coffee. Then I want to cruise my blogroll and see what you are all up to, this fine morning. 

:D 

Whoooooosh!

The wind is blowing, today. The trees are swaying and the tall, dry grasses waving back and forth hypnotically. It is warm, in spite of the season and the wind blowing. The trees changing colour tell me that it is the day before Hallowe'en but the warm, sunny day tells me something else.

Yesterday was a good, solid day on track. I ended the day at 1500 and change and I am happy with that. I am ding well today, too. Maybe I am finally past my snotty, sulky, poor little me phase and ready to buckle down and get the job done, again.

I don't know what my problem was, exactly. Part boredom, part tired of it, part "Gee whiz,  have already lost a lot of weight and I should be able to do whatever the hell I want to do!" Include the foot stomp and I think you pretty much have my mental state for a while. Brat.

I suppose that I will have to work though feelings of frustration and grow accustomed to the fact that this is for real, for ever and I am going to have to accept it. At a deep level that apparently I haven't, quite yet. I mean, I get it... This is how I roll, now. But there is a part of me that is resistant, doesn't want to accept this and I think that part of me kicks up a fuss, from time to time and protests her inability to do as she is used to doing.

Bitch'll just have to get over it. lol

Hubby took the in-laws shopping today and I had some time to myself. Just me, the animals and the wind. And the TV.

Hmmm... What do I want for lunch? My husband is eating a ham sandwich and the cat is on the back of the sofa, lurking and stalking, hoping for a tidbit. He will be all over me, tonight. I am planning to have fish for dinner.

How Long Does it Take To Charge An MP3 Player, Anyway?

So, Husband bought me an MP3 player while he was out, earlier. I synched my music library onto it and am waiting for it to finish charging so that I can play with it and get acquainted with it. I am having to do everything just as I go, since the stupid instruction book is just a jumble of idiotic, confusing pictures, nothing written. I hate it when electronics companies do this. Why can't they just print a booklet telling us how to make it work, for cripe's sake? Gah!

I am grateful to have it. I wanted an MP3 player for when I go walking and so forth but I am also kind of... No, make that really pissed. You see, this isn't the device I would have chosen and I am upset that once again, he took it upon himself to decide for me. Choose for me. Make me just accept what he brings to me. I had no input, I didn't get to look at the selection available, compare and chose for myself. And he has done this so many times and just doesn't hear me when I say that I want... Need to make my own fucking choices. *sigh* Is that too much to ask?

I know that he wanted to do something nice for me. But he takes too much upon himself and it makes me feel marginalized, unheard, unimportant. I feel resentful and I am angry and it just heaps more resentment up in my heart against him. Funny how something so small can bring on such a large storm.

I will swallow this resentment, as I always do. I will pretend that it is great, that I am happy as a clam and not let him see that I am madder than a hornet. That I am frustrated and every time I look at that little device I want to cry, because, once again, it is foisted upon me and isn't what I wanted. Because if I didn't , he would turn this around, talk about how I am ungrateful, that nothing he ever does is good enough, blah, blah, blah. He will make me feel like shit. He is really good at that, making me feel like shit. In fact, I kind of do, right now. And he didn't say a word. I guess I am well trained. lol?

Anyway, if the thing ever gets finished charging, I hope it is easy to use. And works.

Still charging.

And still pissed.

Nice combination, huh?

It is a nice day, today. Chilly, cloudy and rainy. Just my kind of weather. I need to make my shopping list, grocery day, tomorrow. I want to get out as early as possible and get done in the store before it gets too crowded.

I am on track, today. I'll be making chicken for dinner, tonight. It is too rainy to use my grill so I'll bake it. I am going to cook rice in chicken broth and make a salad and open a can of corn. I know that corn isn't the best veggie (I know... It is s grain, really) but sometimes I just want me some corn, dammit. :D

Still charging. lol

If a Well Fed Crotch is a Happy Crotch

Mine should be ecstatic. As I walked, today my crotch spent two miles eating the legs of my capris. They are so loose that the legs just get gobbled right up. My capris are getting so loose that not only are the legs and ass baggy, the crotch hangs down nice and low, too. At least they aren't falling down around my ankles. The waistlines are well tapered in and they stay up.

It is time to switch over to leggings. I have one pair and they are more fitted and should stay in place. I need to buy a few pair, in ankle and capri length for walking. Then I can leave my capris for around the house grubby work.

Husband clocked my new walk route for me in his work truck, since it has a trip odometer. It is just a few feet shy of one full mile. The odometer was just tipping to turn to one mile, so close enough. I figure that the driveway and the frontage road make up the last few feet. :D Hell, the driveway alone should be worth extra credit. lol

I guess Husband is over trying to eat healthier and exercise. I have tried but there is only so much I can do. He needs to do the rest. Eating food like he does and drinking that sugary soda is a huge mistake and with him being borderline diabetic, his health could go sharply downhill fast. But, I am not his mama. He is an adult and he can make his own choices. I can't make them for him. I will help him, if he wants me to. But I can't force him to into it.

Well, that is about all I have to yap about, right now.

May I just add that those blasted word verification when posting comments drive me in. sane! I hate those frakking things.  I am always delighted when I get to comment without having to struggle with those things.

Okay, carry on. :)

Wow

Just wow!

I am overwhelmed by all of the positive responses I got to my last post. I have to admit, I sat and stared at my computer screen for a good long while before I clicked the publish button. A part of me was really afraid that I was going to piss a lot of people off and would wake flamed off the surface of the planet. But I feel so strongly about this issue. And I just had to talk about it. :)

It is a gorgeous day, today. We awoke to partly cloudy skies, warm temps and plenty of sunshine. By noon, that had changed. A storm blew in, the sky became dark and low and menacing, the wind kicked up and lightening crackled and thunder boomed. And the rains came down. Then it quieted a little, the temps dropped a bit and another round fired up. Then it got even cooler and rained some more. It is cool and very cloudy and I am hoping for even more rain.

How I love weather like this! The cool and clouds and rain really make it feel like Fall. :D

This is a treat, in this part of the country, this time of year. Fall here is normally cool, dry and very sunny.

Husband has the on call phone, this weekend and with the storm he is pretty busy answering calls, dispatching techs and putting out fires. Which is fine, we can use the extra money. But it is a bit of a pain, since it is hard to watch a movie when his phone keeps ringing and he keeps shutting it off to check channels and prescribe the appropriate action. Oh well. It is his job. And needs to be done.

I have enough calories to have stew and a biscuit for dinner. Yum. What could be better on a cloudy, chilly, rainy Fall day?  :D

Have a great evening. Tomorrow starts a new week and I hope that all of you have a wonderful, productive, on your track week.

Saturday Morning in Prescott, Arizona

It is sunny. The daytime high is supposed to be in the 75 degree range. Unseasonably warm, but not unwelcome. I don't really have plans for the day. I have my housework done, I have sucked down a lovely latte that Husband brought home for me and I am thinking about what I would like for breakfast. I can't decide between oatmeal and an Egg Beaters and egg white scramble. I am probably going to go for the scramble, I have grilled chicken in the fridge that would be yummy in it and I can give my egg yolks to my dog. She hasn't been really excited about her dog food, lately and the yolks tempt her and she eats better.

Ahhh... Quiet. Peace. Solitude. Son is at work and Husband just left to take his parental units shopping. It's just me and the hair bags.

Okay, my mind is blank. So, I will be back when I actually have something constructive to say.

Oh... Food yesterday was good... 1535 calories. Better. :D

I am Now Wearing a Gas Mask

Well...

Not really.

Not yet.

But I will need one, soon if this keeps up.

Have you any idea what it is like to be trapped in a house with two men and a cat who all think that farting is high, good theatre?

It was a lovely day, today. Warm, but not hot. Tiny breeze. Sunny. We went out, did a little shopping and drove around and chatted. Stopped at Sonic for half price drinks. A diet cherry limeaid tastes even better when I get it for fifty percent off. :D

Food is good, on track. I didn't eat much until tonight, so I had plenty of calories in reserve for some of MIL's yummy, tender, done to a perfect turn roast. I had a little gravy and a baked potato with it. (I passed on the buttery, milky mashed potatoes.) And two biscuits. I know... But it was good and I was hongry. And I am still well within my target calorie range for the day. And I got some exercise, tramping around the stores. :D While we were in the mall, I popped into Dillard's and petted the Dooneys and drooled all over the Kors bag I saw online and waaaant.You'd think since I slobbered all over it, they would have been disgusted and given it to me... But, noooo.

Oh well.

It seems that Husband has another kidney stone. He has pain in his back in that spot, again and thinks he can feel it moving. Poor thing, He is going to call his doctor and get some help with this thing. I feel really bad for him. He was miserable with the last one. I hope that this one isn't as bad.

Okay, I need to go wash my face. It wants out of this makeup, now.

And if I lock myself in the bathroom, maybe I can get some clean air into my lungs.

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

I Have My Very Own Explosive Man

And I am convinced that he is trying to kill me.

The farting.

The shitting and not running the vent fan.

I'm dying, here.

help...

Caturday

Hello darlings. I hope that your weekend is getting off to a fine start, that your skies are blue, your breezes soft and you are on track, still in your minds, happy in your hearts.

Life is nuts. And not so much, all at the same time. I didn't post yesterday. I took a day long vacation from my head. Sometimes I need to do that. Get out of my head and pretend that it isn't here. I feel a little refreshed, today and ready to be "here" again. I think I was also in avoidance of the fact that my eating has been pretty much crap over the last two days. I spout about not letting the number on the scale bother me then I let it get inside my brain, wiggle in there, drive me crazy and I react badly.  lash out at myself, punish myself for not getting the job done in the best and worst way I know how.

I didn't binge. I suppose that is to be commended. Maybe? But I did go into the 2500 calorie range for two days in a row. *sigh* That shouldn't make me gain weight but it certainly isn't beneficial to me or my efforts.

I am back on track, physically and more importantly, mentally today.

My... What a bunch of self absorbed whining. lol

Anyhoozle, it is a gorgeous day, today. Sunny and it is supposed to warm up very nicely.It is supposed to be about 90 down in the Valley, today. It would be so much fun to go spend a day down there, drive around, shop, hang out. I need a day out, some time away. Some fun.

Okay, I am back. It is now night. Had a sort of busy day. And am anticipating an even busier one, tomorrow. Which is fine. I keep busy, I don't sit and think about stuffing my fat, self indulgent face.

I made chicken for dinner, I grilled three and baked three. Yes, Husband wants his baked with the Shak and Bake shit and it was warm, today which meant a hot, hot house. Blech! Why can't Mr. Picky Butt just eat what the rest of us are eating? Gah! I made baked potatoes and a big, fresh green salad. I guess the boyzies were hungry, between the two of them they killed off four big pieces of chicken. I had one and there was one left to put away for a future meal. Man, the way we go through chicken, I should buy stock in a chicken farm, or something. lol

So, after the last two not so stellar days, I am ending up very nicely on track. I feel better and better about myself and what I am doing. So that is positive. :D

I have enough calories saved back for a little swettie. Meesathinkin' a dark chocolate sugar free pudding. Jello makes gooood dark chocolate sugar free pudding. 60 calories of smooth, creamy heaven in a little cup. I love dark chocolate. With some kind of stupid passion.

Aw, fuck! The Yankees just made it into the ALCS, I am so sick of seeing that team in the playoffs every. frakking. year. And if I have to hear Frank Sinatra sing New York, New York one more time...

***Gag!***

It is supposed to be a lovely day, tomorrow. In the seventies and sunny. Should be a nice day to get out of this house, get some shopping done.

I am soooo tired of this current headache. This is over a week, now. I am ready for it to go bye-bye and have a little break before the next one comes on in.

Can I just say how much I love the fact that Blogger saves posts I back out of? I got to just finish the one I started earlier, rather than plow through a whole new entry. :D

Hey, What the Hell Happened to Fall???

It is sunny, 83 degrees and it got so hot here in my condo that I had to fire up my A/C. And it is supposed to be in the nineties, over the weekend and into next week. WTF?

Otherwise, things are pretty boring, around here. Housework. A little kitchen witchery, laundry. I am cooking a chicken breast half for Husband in my toaster oven. He likes them baked with coating. Which is fine, tho I do get a little tired of having to cook chicken two ways just because he wants his baked. *rolling my eyes*  He and I have absolutely nothing in common, food wise and his picky, plain food habits drive me insane. It is bad enough that I have to cook one meal. It is even worse that I have to cook two. Blech!

I learned how to use the movie mode on my camera but it only makes silent videos. But it worked well enough for me to post my first little video on my nail blog. :D I need to get a new camera, one day so that I can record and upload vlogs now and then.

Food is good, today. I am actually running a bit low, calorie wise. I am going to grill chicken and Summer squash for dinner, tonight. Yum.

Okay, that is all I have and I had to drag that out of myself. lol

Later.

Maybe. :D

A Little Bloggy Business: Newer Followers :) And Random Nattering

Hello love bugs. I see, much to my delight that I have new followers. Hello! :D

If you are following me and have me on your blogroll and would like me to do the same and I haven't yet, could you please drop me a comment in this post with your blog name and URL? I am not good at finding blogs by clicking on icon pics. I think I have also forgotten to follow a couple of URLs given to me in the past. And I apologise for that. But I would like to follow you and add you, so please, pretty please, leave me your info?

It is going to be another hot one, today. Summer is definitely getting in it's last licks and torturing us with heat. At least it isn't humid. See, there is always something for which to be thankful. :D

The air got smokey, last night but it seems to be clearer, this morning. If it stays decently clear, we can walk, tonight. Yay!!!! I am so ready to get out and have a good walk. I miss my walks, terribly. And I really, really, really, really need a little time out of this freaking house. I am getting to the point that I am fantasizing about cans of gasoline and lit matches.

Housework is done for the day. I keep a very tidy, clean house so it doesn't take me long to get everything done in the morning. And, when he is off, Husband helps, so that makes it go even faster. That is one of his saving graces, his helpfulness around the house. Even after a long, hard day at work, he will, without complaint, cheerfully help with dinner, cleaning up the kitchen and making sure the house is neat and tidy before we hit the hay. And he often scoops the litter box, sweeps the laundry room and kitchen floors in the morning, before he leaves so that I don't step on kitty litter tracked around by a certain set of little orange paws in the night with my bare feet in the morning. So, I guess he isn't all bad... :)

One day, soon I need to sit down and rip my CDs to my computer. I did that with my other laptop and I loved being on my puter with my ear buds  in, listening to music.

Food was good, yesterday. I came in at 1144 calories. I can be happy with that. :D

Okay, I have to skedaddle. I have blogs to read.

Later, gators.