Marley has no use for anyone, as cats tend to do. Unless it is 7:00 in the morning and he wants his gushy food. He awaits me at the top of the stairs, having heard me stirring around and getting up. As I come out of my room, the meowing begins. Insistent, demanding. Sometimes loud and strident, others, barely audible, rusty, baby kitten starving to death without the strength to create actual sound. He dogs my footsteps as I move around my kitchen, putting on the water for my coffee, taking my morning meds and vitamins, feeding the dog, getting Marley his crunchies.
Crunchies he doesn't want. In the morning, Marley is all about the gushy food. He gets a quarter of a can of Fancy Feast Classic in a seafood variety of some kind. He insists that all gushy food be seafood; he will eat chicken, beef, turkey cooked or raw but won't tolerate it in his gushy food. Picky little snot. Anyway, until I get that quarter can into a small ceramic dish, properly mushed and fluffed just so, served up on his windowsill, he doesn't back off. How many mornings have I almost killed myself tripping over his little orange ass as I stumble around the kitchen in my sleep induced haze? You would think that he would know better than to come within a mile of me before my first cup of coffee but the pull of the gushy food is too powerful and he is totally willing to risk bodily injury to nag me into feeding it to him even faster.
My head is bad, this morning. It's so nice to have a cold and a migraine at the same time, lemme tell ya.
I remembered to move my hair appointment. This way I won't bring the plague in and infect everyone at the salon. I'm such an angel. I had to book for the seventeenth. I have roots-a-plenty now. My hair is going to look seriously jacked up by the middle of the month. *sigh* Oh well. That is what I get for having one of the most popular stylists in town. I get why she is in so high demand, she is good. And she respects how I feel about my hair. She never breathes a word of complaint about working with my masses of tresses, she never tries to pressure me into chopping my hair and she is happy to work with me as I grow it ever longer. And she doesn't charge me outrageous amounts of money. A roots touch up and tone is sixty-five bucks. Not bad for a higher end salon and the fact that my hair is thick and past my waist and needs precise attention to get just the right shade of blonde and not destroy the structural integrity of all of this hair. She is a treasure and it would be worth it at twice the price. My wallet is happy that it isn't that much, tho.
I wonder of those little fabric hoses are really as good as the commercials say they are? I should look up reviews and see what people are saying. They look good... And would be so handy to have around. I hate using the big, heavy hose we have, I'd love something lightweight and easy to handle.
It smells like pumpkin and spice in here, thanks to that candle. It must be strong for me to be able to smell it with my racked up beak.
Showing posts with label Hair Talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hair Talk. Show all posts
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Roots
I got them done, yesterday.
In a salon.
For the first time in twelve years, I walked into an actual salon.
It was frightening for me. I sat in the car and debated with myself for a while before I got out and walked to the door. I was so afraid that the staff would take one look at me and everyone would suddenly be too busy, because no one would want to touch the freaky long hair on the big, ugly fat broad. I did have one of those moments. I went in as a walk in because I was too chicken shit to make an appointment and then dread it and cancel, as I am wont to do. So I just made myself go in. The gal in the station closest to the door was friendly but busy with a client. she asked me a few general questions about what I would like then suggested that I go back and ask the other stylist on staff if she could take me as she was just wrapping up her client and should have the time. When I went back, tho that stylist told me that she couldn't because she was leaving to go do something with her sons.
What I heard, briefly, in my sick, twisted mind was, "No fucking way do I want to bother with you, you hideous hag".
Nice of me to pin something like that on a total stranger, huh? A total stranger who was, even tho she didn't have the time to do my hair, herself, perfectly nice about it. Yeah. The games I play with myself. The things I say in my head.
The first stylist I talked to was able to fit me in a little later yesterday afternoon, so I went back and got my roots lightened. I was so uncomfortable, at first, but as my appointment went on I got more comfortable and started to relax and stopped fearing judgement and hatred, which I certainly did not receive in any measure; she was perfectly lovely and friendly to me. I really like the stylist who did my hair and made a return appointment for my next roots touch up. I think that I actually have a stylist, now. Isn't that funny? And kind of great?
I always assume that when people meet me they are going to hate me on sight. Not only because of the fact that I am less then fabulous, but because I am not very likable. Stupid holdovers that I believe from my childhood. A childhood in which I was relentlessly bullied in school and came to believe, deep in my core that I was, still am, the things they called me. Stupid. Ugly. Weird. Useless. Unworthy.
I am proud of myself for ignoring the voices in my head (not actual voices in my head... Don't worry lol) and doing something that I wanted to do. Regardless of my weight or the fact that I didn't have the "right" clothes or a huge pile of money in my wallet, I did it. And I had a lovely time and I have fresh, bright roots.
Win.
A small one, to be sure.
But it is still a win.
I wonder if there will ever come a time when I don't automatically believe that the moment someone lays eyes on me that they hate me, instantly? Will I ever find confidence in myself? Regain my free, fearless spirit? Are they gone? Or just buried? And how the hell do I find out? And get them back?
Maybe yesterday was one small step in that direction.
I hope so. Because I am so sick of the me that I've become. I want my old me back. The me before.
Where is she?
In a salon.
For the first time in twelve years, I walked into an actual salon.
It was frightening for me. I sat in the car and debated with myself for a while before I got out and walked to the door. I was so afraid that the staff would take one look at me and everyone would suddenly be too busy, because no one would want to touch the freaky long hair on the big, ugly fat broad. I did have one of those moments. I went in as a walk in because I was too chicken shit to make an appointment and then dread it and cancel, as I am wont to do. So I just made myself go in. The gal in the station closest to the door was friendly but busy with a client. she asked me a few general questions about what I would like then suggested that I go back and ask the other stylist on staff if she could take me as she was just wrapping up her client and should have the time. When I went back, tho that stylist told me that she couldn't because she was leaving to go do something with her sons.
What I heard, briefly, in my sick, twisted mind was, "No fucking way do I want to bother with you, you hideous hag".
Nice of me to pin something like that on a total stranger, huh? A total stranger who was, even tho she didn't have the time to do my hair, herself, perfectly nice about it. Yeah. The games I play with myself. The things I say in my head.
The first stylist I talked to was able to fit me in a little later yesterday afternoon, so I went back and got my roots lightened. I was so uncomfortable, at first, but as my appointment went on I got more comfortable and started to relax and stopped fearing judgement and hatred, which I certainly did not receive in any measure; she was perfectly lovely and friendly to me. I really like the stylist who did my hair and made a return appointment for my next roots touch up. I think that I actually have a stylist, now. Isn't that funny? And kind of great?
I always assume that when people meet me they are going to hate me on sight. Not only because of the fact that I am less then fabulous, but because I am not very likable. Stupid holdovers that I believe from my childhood. A childhood in which I was relentlessly bullied in school and came to believe, deep in my core that I was, still am, the things they called me. Stupid. Ugly. Weird. Useless. Unworthy.
I am proud of myself for ignoring the voices in my head (not actual voices in my head... Don't worry lol) and doing something that I wanted to do. Regardless of my weight or the fact that I didn't have the "right" clothes or a huge pile of money in my wallet, I did it. And I had a lovely time and I have fresh, bright roots.
Win.
A small one, to be sure.
But it is still a win.
I wonder if there will ever come a time when I don't automatically believe that the moment someone lays eyes on me that they hate me, instantly? Will I ever find confidence in myself? Regain my free, fearless spirit? Are they gone? Or just buried? And how the hell do I find out? And get them back?
Maybe yesterday was one small step in that direction.
I hope so. Because I am so sick of the me that I've become. I want my old me back. The me before.
Where is she?
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Four Days
That is how long it has been since I washed my hair. I have so much dry shampoo and hair spray in my hair that my hair is nearly standing up by it's self. And my scalp itches like a sonofabitch. I have been falling back on cheats, rather than washing my hair and I am desperate to shampoo. I'll do it, when I shower, in a few minutes. *scratchscratchscratch*
I have the Imitrex buzz. I don't like it but I hope it heads off this migraine. I ignored my aura, yesterday and had a migraine hit me like a freight train in the supermarket. Good times.
Say, have you guys tried this stuff, yet? It's kinda yummeh. I like it on a toasted whole grain sandwich thin. Nom, nom, nom.
I wish that I could get more flavours, locally. Stupid Prescott. If we get the good stuff, we get so little of it or such a limited selection that it is pathetic.
Have I mentioned that I hate living in Small Town America? Well, I do. I am an urban girl. I have traffic noise and smog in my blood and living in the clean mountain air in a large town that thinks it is still a small town is sucking the life out of me.
I must continue to be sucked, tho. (Oh. That came out so many kinds of wrong.) Leaving a place in which my husband has a steady job would be the height of idiocy and we aren't stupid.
Well, not most of the time, anyway. ;)
I have to pee.
I have the Imitrex buzz. I don't like it but I hope it heads off this migraine. I ignored my aura, yesterday and had a migraine hit me like a freight train in the supermarket. Good times.
Say, have you guys tried this stuff, yet? It's kinda yummeh. I like it on a toasted whole grain sandwich thin. Nom, nom, nom.
I wish that I could get more flavours, locally. Stupid Prescott. If we get the good stuff, we get so little of it or such a limited selection that it is pathetic.
Have I mentioned that I hate living in Small Town America? Well, I do. I am an urban girl. I have traffic noise and smog in my blood and living in the clean mountain air in a large town that thinks it is still a small town is sucking the life out of me.
I must continue to be sucked, tho. (Oh. That came out so many kinds of wrong.) Leaving a place in which my husband has a steady job would be the height of idiocy and we aren't stupid.
Well, not most of the time, anyway. ;)
I have to pee.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
New Hair
Shit. I am going to have to start putting a black oval where my face belongs. I look like a tired old basset hound, anymore. :P
I toned it, this morning and it is much more even. I am liking it. I still need to gently but firmly tweak the lift and tone a bit... I want to abolish more of the dark gold and red tones, but I don't want to push my hair too hard, too fast. It came through everything in great condition (strand tests rule, never do colour without one! :D) and, from a test I did, this morning on my previously tested strand, can take a good bit more and still be fine. My hair always did hold up amazingly well to peroxide. Anyway, yeah. I am happy with my hair and have to smile, every time I look in my mirror. I finally feel like me, again. :D
It was another beautiful day, here today. Seventy, sunny and a dreamy, warm little breeze. A beautiful harbinger of Spring.
Food is good, today. I think I need to take some extra potassium, tho. I had monster leg cramps, last night in my thighs. Both. Jerked me out of a sound sleep and I was in agony. I couldn't move, just try to breathe through the horrible and try to survive them. I hate leg cramps. And I dread and fear them and I get them pretty often. Yuk. My thigh muscles are crampy, this evening, too. I dread going to bed.
I'm going to get that potassium and I think I'll see if there is a banana floating around here, too.
Friday, February 24, 2012
I'm Blonde! :D
Ni pictures, yet. I have one more thing I need to do then I will have it as I want it and can take photos. I'm pretty happy with it, overall but my roots and crown are a little lighter than I expected and a little yellow. I am going to go to Sally's and pick up some 10 volume and a toner to match my length and cool my hot roots and crown down a bit and finish it all off with some of that purple conditioner and I should be all set.
Looking in my mirror is a little strange, right now hee hee... but it is also like coming home. I am a light haired person by nature and personality and I have been wanting to do this for a very long time. Needless to say, I am staying this way, now. No more forays to the dark side for me. Right now, my roots and crown are about a level... 10-ish and my length and ends more like an 8. I actually prefer the slightly darker, cooler tone of my length and ends and I want all of my hair to match that tone.
Oh, all of my greys? Not a damned one of them got covered. ha ha Which is fine. I kind of like them, to be perfectly honest and now they look like really super light natural highlights running in streaks and strands throughout my hair. I can dig it.
Yes, I am a child of the seventies. :P
Food is good, so far. I did my customary smoothie for brekkie and am munching on a turkey sandwich and a few Special K cheddar cracker chips for lunch. I am drinking my water pretty well... I am not going to get a huge amount down because I have to go out later and I'll be hanged if I am going to spend all of that time running from one ladies room to another.
It's a really gorgeous day, here. It's 57, right now, according to The Weather Channel. It feels warmer than that, to me but whatever. It's supposed to top out around 62. I can live with that.
Mmmm... Diet Pepsi... *slurp*
I keep looking down and seeing my hair and thinking, "Huh?!?!" for a second. I'm going to adjust quickly, tho.
Okay. I need to finish my lunch and get some makeup on so I can run out, later.
Looking in my mirror is a little strange, right now hee hee... but it is also like coming home. I am a light haired person by nature and personality and I have been wanting to do this for a very long time. Needless to say, I am staying this way, now. No more forays to the dark side for me. Right now, my roots and crown are about a level... 10-ish and my length and ends more like an 8. I actually prefer the slightly darker, cooler tone of my length and ends and I want all of my hair to match that tone.
Oh, all of my greys? Not a damned one of them got covered. ha ha Which is fine. I kind of like them, to be perfectly honest and now they look like really super light natural highlights running in streaks and strands throughout my hair. I can dig it.
Yes, I am a child of the seventies. :P
Food is good, so far. I did my customary smoothie for brekkie and am munching on a turkey sandwich and a few Special K cheddar cracker chips for lunch. I am drinking my water pretty well... I am not going to get a huge amount down because I have to go out later and I'll be hanged if I am going to spend all of that time running from one ladies room to another.
It's a really gorgeous day, here. It's 57, right now, according to The Weather Channel. It feels warmer than that, to me but whatever. It's supposed to top out around 62. I can live with that.
Mmmm... Diet Pepsi... *slurp*
I keep looking down and seeing my hair and thinking, "Huh?!?!" for a second. I'm going to adjust quickly, tho.
Okay. I need to finish my lunch and get some makeup on so I can run out, later.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Title Assery Goes Here
So, I finally did it. I was in Sally's tonight... Originally to buy a couple of new polishes. There are two or three more the the China Glaze Electropop collection I wanted; I had Dance Baby and Techno in my hand and I wandered over to the hair colour section. Stood there and hemmed and hawed and thought and debated with myself and finally had a nice little confab with one of the gals who works there and walked out sans polish (I can always go back for them, this weekend ;)) carrying a bag with a ton of tubes of high lift blonde colour and two big bottles of developer.
God willing and the creek doesn't rise and my strand test works, by this time, tomorrow, I should be a blonde, again. After all this time. November of 2006 was the last time I had my "natural" colour and I have missed it so. much. Yes, I now have dark hair (I am between a level 5 and 6, in case you were wondering) but I was born blonde. I was platinum blonde as a child and as I got older, my hair got darker. I dyed it blonde for years. Went brunette a couple of times, always lightened it again. Then in '06 I went first brunette, then spent a year and some months a henna redhead. Loved what henna did for my hair. Seriously, if you like having red, consider henna. It is fabulous in the extreme. But I am just not a redhead in my heart.
I tried to remove the henna. Didn't happen. That shit is permanent. I am talking you can't nuke it out of your hair permanent and I destroyed my tailbone length hair in the process. *waaahhhhh* So, too long story short, I now have virgin hair and am over my base colour. I hate it and I want my blondie locks back. Nao! A salon visit isn't in the cards. One of the cars needed repairs and having a running and safe vehicle trumps my vanity so I am going to do it, myself. So, strand test, first then hopefully, full head. I am excited. I like to colour my hair. Always have. I loved doing henna. It was a day long process, a ritual that I just adored. Yeah, I know. I am seriously weird.
Anyway, if the blondification works, I'll post pics. Promise. :D
It was almost seventy, today. I sat in my Sanctuary doing my makeup today with my window open, enjoying the lovely, balmy breeze blowing in. Once the sun went down it chilled off fast but the day was just lovely. It might get over seventy, tomorrow. :D
Okay. I am tired. I am dappled and drowsy and ready for sleep.
Oh! I drank lots of water. But my eating wasn't stellar. It wasn't a total washout but... Yeah.
I am an asshole.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Ahhh...
My head is back down to a calm Cat 1. Relief. :) Hopefully it will stay quiet for a bit. I could use a breather. lol
Thank you all for your hugs and love. You all help me to feel better. *hugs*
I am having a really great day, food and water wise. I did decent, yesterday. Not stellar but better. I really am trying very hard to turn this slump around. Yo-yoing in the same area, losing only ten pounds since January is hardly impressive. And it makes me feel pretty crappy. I really want to see how close I can get to the one hundreds by the end of this year and I am not going to get there with shenanigans. I need to do the work, not just pay it lip service. Oh yeah. I have become good at that bullshit, lately. Allowing a slip because I have done so well and one won't matter. Until I do it again, the next frakking day.
That is the kind of fucked up thinking that has sent me into a total spiral and gain it all back plus more more times than I can count. And I have no interest in doing that, again. So, I am taking myself to task and not allowing anymore crap thinking and slipping. "Just this once." Just this once, my big, dimpled, white ass.
Anywhoozle, today is pretty fab. I am sitting at 1228 calories. And almost five quarts of water down. Now to start a streak. :D
It got up to almost seventy, today. It is still going to be in the thirties at night... Yuk. But at least it is warming up a bit, again.
I was so pissed at William last night that I almost chopped my hair off. I got out my scissors to cut out coupons and I had them in my hand and had this insane urge to just weed whack my hair. I am sooooo glad I didn't give in to that urge! I hate my hair short (I am not saying I hate short hair, you close cropped beauties, out there. I just hate it on me. :)) and would have been kicking myself from here to Pluto if I had cut it. Almost every time I have chopped my hair off it has been an emotional reaction to something that has really upset me. Usually thanks to my husband.
Man just isn't good for a serious dyed in the wool longhair like me. :P
Once stupid face gets his shit together, I need to get into a salon and get it coloured. I am so. sick of looking at it like this. Blech! Dirty dishwater just doesn't inspire me. I don't even want to style it, right now. I just wash and condition it, twist it up in a big jaw claw and ignore it. That is how meh I am about it, right now.
Oh! Speaking of hair... I was asked if I would like to hold a giveaway sponsored by a hair styling tools company over on my other blog. If you would like to enter to maybe win a new hair straightener, here is my giveaway post. I am not into using a straightener, myself (I can get about the same look with a blowout, so I don't really need one) but I know that a lot of gals really like them. This is supposed to be a good one. It retails for $129.00 and has tourmaline ceramic plates that are supposed to get your hair really smooth and shiny. So, please come on over and enter, if you like. :)
Well... I can't really think of a lot more to talk about, at the moment. I hope that everyone has a great night. <3
Thank you all for your hugs and love. You all help me to feel better. *hugs*
I am having a really great day, food and water wise. I did decent, yesterday. Not stellar but better. I really am trying very hard to turn this slump around. Yo-yoing in the same area, losing only ten pounds since January is hardly impressive. And it makes me feel pretty crappy. I really want to see how close I can get to the one hundreds by the end of this year and I am not going to get there with shenanigans. I need to do the work, not just pay it lip service. Oh yeah. I have become good at that bullshit, lately. Allowing a slip because I have done so well and one won't matter. Until I do it again, the next frakking day.
That is the kind of fucked up thinking that has sent me into a total spiral and gain it all back plus more more times than I can count. And I have no interest in doing that, again. So, I am taking myself to task and not allowing anymore crap thinking and slipping. "Just this once." Just this once, my big, dimpled, white ass.
Anywhoozle, today is pretty fab. I am sitting at 1228 calories. And almost five quarts of water down. Now to start a streak. :D
It got up to almost seventy, today. It is still going to be in the thirties at night... Yuk. But at least it is warming up a bit, again.
I was so pissed at William last night that I almost chopped my hair off. I got out my scissors to cut out coupons and I had them in my hand and had this insane urge to just weed whack my hair. I am sooooo glad I didn't give in to that urge! I hate my hair short (I am not saying I hate short hair, you close cropped beauties, out there. I just hate it on me. :)) and would have been kicking myself from here to Pluto if I had cut it. Almost every time I have chopped my hair off it has been an emotional reaction to something that has really upset me. Usually thanks to my husband.
Man just isn't good for a serious dyed in the wool longhair like me. :P
Once stupid face gets his shit together, I need to get into a salon and get it coloured. I am so. sick of looking at it like this. Blech! Dirty dishwater just doesn't inspire me. I don't even want to style it, right now. I just wash and condition it, twist it up in a big jaw claw and ignore it. That is how meh I am about it, right now.
Oh! Speaking of hair... I was asked if I would like to hold a giveaway sponsored by a hair styling tools company over on my other blog. If you would like to enter to maybe win a new hair straightener, here is my giveaway post. I am not into using a straightener, myself (I can get about the same look with a blowout, so I don't really need one) but I know that a lot of gals really like them. This is supposed to be a good one. It retails for $129.00 and has tourmaline ceramic plates that are supposed to get your hair really smooth and shiny. So, please come on over and enter, if you like. :)
Well... I can't really think of a lot more to talk about, at the moment. I hope that everyone has a great night. <3
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Lost in a Time Warp
Yesterday totally got away from me and went by in a flash. I got things done but didn't get much extra done or spend much time online. It was just a weird day. Kind of otherworldly
Yesterday wasn't a good day, food wise. I ended up at nearly 1500 calories. And didn't get all of my water. I was just careless and not paying attention. (Not whining to make you mental, Allen... ;) :P Just being accountable.) Shows to go me that I still have a shit load of work to do on myself and lessons to learn. Ongoing process. Maybe one day I will finally get it all right. lol My food is good, today and my water is going down as planned, as well. This will be a better day.
I don't get why I am struggling so much and so resistant. I am just going to have to work it out. My success and health are too important to not get this right.
On Sunday I decided that I wanted to take the downstairs master suite for myself and kick Pookey upstairs to the room I was inhabiting. I can now get up and down the stairs easily and decided that I wanted more space. And that big closet! Not to mention my own bathroom. Sharing one with a husband is bad for a marriage. Having my space downstairs also gives me a little much needed distance. A place where I can spread out a little and have my own time without thinking about the house, others persons in it and all of what I have to do on a daily basis. It is working out very nicely.
The switch wasn't without it's hitches. Moving Pookey's furniture up the stairs and mine down was a lot of work for the boyz. When they were bringing my dresser down, I heard them coming down the stairs with it and peeked out my door and there they are, nearly at the bottom and my dresser was upside down! And they didn't even notice. lol Wow, such observant men I have, here. lol It was no biggie, as all that was in there is clothes. They just got tossed around and disorganized. I thought it was funny that they didn't see it, tho.
One thing that wasn't so funny was when I tried to take an armful of stuff down the stairs. I had a big basket with no handles full of stuff with some hangars balanced on top and my old HP lappie in a computer bag over my shoulder and was about to head down when I lost my balance. The basket and it's contents went flying, everything tumbling down the stairs. I thought, for one horrifying moment I was going to follow it but luckily I fell backward and landed hard on my ass. I gave my back a good, hard jarring and I was a bit sore, yesterday. My back feels better, today. Now, to let my knees adjust. They are griping a little but they are getting better, too. Going up and down those stairs so much is turning out to be really good for me. And I am adjusting to carrying loads up and down, too. No more falls. I should be a Sherpa, soon. :D
We are having a little bit of very lovely Springlike weather before the next storm comes barreling in later this week. Highs in the upper sixties, near seventy. Brilliantly sunny, soft breezes. Nice. The storm is supposed to bring rain. It had better just be rain! Snow... Do. Not. Want!
My washing machine is beginning to make strange noises on some cycles. So is my dryer. Lord, please don't let them break down anytime soon. That is not an expense I need at this point and time. Gah!
Okay, I have laundry going, I need to dust, vacuum my broadloom and do a few other things and I need a shower. I also need to make some time to do my nails and catch up with blogs.
Oh. I did a strand test to see if I could lighten my hair. Fail! It is just too dark and resistant. Long gone are the days when I could slop a box of dye on it and get perfect, shimmering blonde. It is time to go to a good salon and put my tresses in the hands of an expert colourist. I want my hair coloured but I just don't have the expertise to safely and successfully lighten and tone it on my own. Touch ups are tricky when you double process (and a huge pain in the ass, to boot!) and I don't want to screw it up and destroy my hair. Been there, done that, don't want to grow out yet another disaster. Besides, it would be nice to go in and have my hair done and get a little pampering on a regular basis.
Okay, must run. Stuff to get done. I'll catch all you fine folk later.
Yesterday wasn't a good day, food wise. I ended up at nearly 1500 calories. And didn't get all of my water. I was just careless and not paying attention. (Not whining to make you mental, Allen... ;) :P Just being accountable.) Shows to go me that I still have a shit load of work to do on myself and lessons to learn. Ongoing process. Maybe one day I will finally get it all right. lol My food is good, today and my water is going down as planned, as well. This will be a better day.
I don't get why I am struggling so much and so resistant. I am just going to have to work it out. My success and health are too important to not get this right.
On Sunday I decided that I wanted to take the downstairs master suite for myself and kick Pookey upstairs to the room I was inhabiting. I can now get up and down the stairs easily and decided that I wanted more space. And that big closet! Not to mention my own bathroom. Sharing one with a husband is bad for a marriage. Having my space downstairs also gives me a little much needed distance. A place where I can spread out a little and have my own time without thinking about the house, others persons in it and all of what I have to do on a daily basis. It is working out very nicely.
The switch wasn't without it's hitches. Moving Pookey's furniture up the stairs and mine down was a lot of work for the boyz. When they were bringing my dresser down, I heard them coming down the stairs with it and peeked out my door and there they are, nearly at the bottom and my dresser was upside down! And they didn't even notice. lol Wow, such observant men I have, here. lol It was no biggie, as all that was in there is clothes. They just got tossed around and disorganized. I thought it was funny that they didn't see it, tho.
One thing that wasn't so funny was when I tried to take an armful of stuff down the stairs. I had a big basket with no handles full of stuff with some hangars balanced on top and my old HP lappie in a computer bag over my shoulder and was about to head down when I lost my balance. The basket and it's contents went flying, everything tumbling down the stairs. I thought, for one horrifying moment I was going to follow it but luckily I fell backward and landed hard on my ass. I gave my back a good, hard jarring and I was a bit sore, yesterday. My back feels better, today. Now, to let my knees adjust. They are griping a little but they are getting better, too. Going up and down those stairs so much is turning out to be really good for me. And I am adjusting to carrying loads up and down, too. No more falls. I should be a Sherpa, soon. :D
We are having a little bit of very lovely Springlike weather before the next storm comes barreling in later this week. Highs in the upper sixties, near seventy. Brilliantly sunny, soft breezes. Nice. The storm is supposed to bring rain. It had better just be rain! Snow... Do. Not. Want!
My washing machine is beginning to make strange noises on some cycles. So is my dryer. Lord, please don't let them break down anytime soon. That is not an expense I need at this point and time. Gah!
Okay, I have laundry going, I need to dust, vacuum my broadloom and do a few other things and I need a shower. I also need to make some time to do my nails and catch up with blogs.
Oh. I did a strand test to see if I could lighten my hair. Fail! It is just too dark and resistant. Long gone are the days when I could slop a box of dye on it and get perfect, shimmering blonde. It is time to go to a good salon and put my tresses in the hands of an expert colourist. I want my hair coloured but I just don't have the expertise to safely and successfully lighten and tone it on my own. Touch ups are tricky when you double process (and a huge pain in the ass, to boot!) and I don't want to screw it up and destroy my hair. Been there, done that, don't want to grow out yet another disaster. Besides, it would be nice to go in and have my hair done and get a little pampering on a regular basis.
Okay, must run. Stuff to get done. I'll catch all you fine folk later.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Feeling a Little More Human, Now
Ahhh... That felt good. I needed it so. much!
Get your frakking minds out of the gutter. :P
I meant the long, hot shower I just took. I have been showering each day, just jumping in, getting clean really quick and getting out. I haven't been washing my hair. I was just combing it, putting it up and ignoring it and greaseball is a kind description of my head, by today. It felt wonderful to shampoo my manky assed head, condition my hair and comb it all out smooth. I added a little leave in to it after I got out and some shine spray and it is happily air drying on the top of the back of my sofa. I think. I think... That my weight loss induced shedding might just be slowing down. *fingers crossed* I am not finding quite as much hair in my comb and brush. *pleasepleaseplease!*
I did a bunch of housework, earlier including scrubbing down my nasty bathroom. I can't believe how filthy it was, in there and I couldn't stand it, any longer. Shingles be damned, I had to clean at least my toilet and sink. I didn't have it in me to scour the shower and tub, right now but the toidy and sink, faucet and mirrors are all sparkling clean. And my bathroom no longer announces it's presence as you walk into the hall. Yuk! :P
I also ran my vacuum, made my bed, cleaned up my kitchen. I thought about doing a load or two of laundry but I am tired, now and my back is beginning to howl a bit so I think I will save that until tomorrow. I think I have done enough for today.
Food is dead on target. Water is sliding down nicely.
Those of you in the path of this next snowstorm, I hope that you are all ready, stocked up, snugged in and your hatches are battened, Stay warm and stay safe, kiddies.
Get your frakking minds out of the gutter. :P
I meant the long, hot shower I just took. I have been showering each day, just jumping in, getting clean really quick and getting out. I haven't been washing my hair. I was just combing it, putting it up and ignoring it and greaseball is a kind description of my head, by today. It felt wonderful to shampoo my manky assed head, condition my hair and comb it all out smooth. I added a little leave in to it after I got out and some shine spray and it is happily air drying on the top of the back of my sofa. I think. I think... That my weight loss induced shedding might just be slowing down. *fingers crossed* I am not finding quite as much hair in my comb and brush. *pleasepleaseplease!*
I did a bunch of housework, earlier including scrubbing down my nasty bathroom. I can't believe how filthy it was, in there and I couldn't stand it, any longer. Shingles be damned, I had to clean at least my toilet and sink. I didn't have it in me to scour the shower and tub, right now but the toidy and sink, faucet and mirrors are all sparkling clean. And my bathroom no longer announces it's presence as you walk into the hall. Yuk! :P
I also ran my vacuum, made my bed, cleaned up my kitchen. I thought about doing a load or two of laundry but I am tired, now and my back is beginning to howl a bit so I think I will save that until tomorrow. I think I have done enough for today.
Food is dead on target. Water is sliding down nicely.
Those of you in the path of this next snowstorm, I hope that you are all ready, stocked up, snugged in and your hatches are battened, Stay warm and stay safe, kiddies.
Friday, December 3, 2010
A New 'Do, A warm Day and an Almost Exploding Can
Hello everyone. How's life treating all of you, today? All is well, here. I am calm, serene, even and nicely on track. That is a good thing. :)
I decided, after a great deal of thought to do a little more work on my hair, today. I cut a few very subtle layers a while back. I was happy with the result. But After living with it for a time and thinking carefully about what I want and watching so much of my hair just fall, fall, fall I decided to add a little more layering in the back, then more layers in the front and some soft, long, wispy fringe. I have so much thinning at my hairline that the layers and fringe help to disguise it and the long layers overall give the appearance of volume at my ends and also give my hair lovely swing and movement. I may trim my fringe just a tad shorter... I'll live with it for a bit and see if I want it up out of my eyes, or not. I half like/dislike it this long. We'll see. I am in no hurry to make a decision.
I am not a layer girl. I prefer my hair all one length but the layers really do help disguise the thinning a little so I will probably keep it layered for a while. At least until the hair fall slows down and my new hair grows in. I also got rid of more of the peroxided ends that are, quite frankly, bugging me. They remind me of my greatest hair disaster, ever. And I would like that constant reminder, every time I look in my mirror to be gone.
We have the weirdest freaking weather, right now. It is in the mid sixties, today. Overcast but not cloudy. The other day, I was running the furnace to keep from freezing into a solid block of ice and today a couple of windows are wide open. Weirdness, I tell you. Days this warm aren't typical for this time of year.
So, I ran out of my antiperspirant and was sharing my husband's. Well, this morning, he managed to break the tube that goes down into the can. How he managed that trick, I know not... Anyway, after I got out of the shower, I had to try to use the busted sprayer because I can't go without my pit goo. If I try it, it is Stinky City, around here. And that, my friends, is something no one needs or wants to be anywhere near. lol So, I, creative, resourceful thinker I am, decided to just shove the busted tube into the hole, press the button and see what happened. The test was a success! Woo-hoo! I sprayed the first pit and feeling very big headed and all that, I went for the second pit. Got it sprayed, then it happened.
The mechanism in the can that makes the stuff come up jammed open and all of a sudden I had a handful of frost and antiperspirant. And it was spraying all over the place, all down my side and all over my wall. Brrr! and yuk! I had my terry robe lying on my bed and I wrapped the can in it and set the hissing bundle out on my washer until the can released the rest of it's pressure. I then tossed the can and got my robe into the wash. I hope all the antiperspirant washes out. To be safe, I am going to run it through a second cycle, with the rest of the whites.
So, a new hairdo and a little excitement.
I need to grab a little lunch then I am going to see if hubby would like to wake the fuck up (how he can nap the way he does is beyond me... I never nap unless I am dead dog sick or have a migraine from hell) and help me get the outside lights up. I need to get a move on. December is flying by.
Okay, later, gators. :D
I decided, after a great deal of thought to do a little more work on my hair, today. I cut a few very subtle layers a while back. I was happy with the result. But After living with it for a time and thinking carefully about what I want and watching so much of my hair just fall, fall, fall I decided to add a little more layering in the back, then more layers in the front and some soft, long, wispy fringe. I have so much thinning at my hairline that the layers and fringe help to disguise it and the long layers overall give the appearance of volume at my ends and also give my hair lovely swing and movement. I may trim my fringe just a tad shorter... I'll live with it for a bit and see if I want it up out of my eyes, or not. I half like/dislike it this long. We'll see. I am in no hurry to make a decision.
I am not a layer girl. I prefer my hair all one length but the layers really do help disguise the thinning a little so I will probably keep it layered for a while. At least until the hair fall slows down and my new hair grows in. I also got rid of more of the peroxided ends that are, quite frankly, bugging me. They remind me of my greatest hair disaster, ever. And I would like that constant reminder, every time I look in my mirror to be gone.
We have the weirdest freaking weather, right now. It is in the mid sixties, today. Overcast but not cloudy. The other day, I was running the furnace to keep from freezing into a solid block of ice and today a couple of windows are wide open. Weirdness, I tell you. Days this warm aren't typical for this time of year.
So, I ran out of my antiperspirant and was sharing my husband's. Well, this morning, he managed to break the tube that goes down into the can. How he managed that trick, I know not... Anyway, after I got out of the shower, I had to try to use the busted sprayer because I can't go without my pit goo. If I try it, it is Stinky City, around here. And that, my friends, is something no one needs or wants to be anywhere near. lol So, I, creative, resourceful thinker I am, decided to just shove the busted tube into the hole, press the button and see what happened. The test was a success! Woo-hoo! I sprayed the first pit and feeling very big headed and all that, I went for the second pit. Got it sprayed, then it happened.
The mechanism in the can that makes the stuff come up jammed open and all of a sudden I had a handful of frost and antiperspirant. And it was spraying all over the place, all down my side and all over my wall. Brrr! and yuk! I had my terry robe lying on my bed and I wrapped the can in it and set the hissing bundle out on my washer until the can released the rest of it's pressure. I then tossed the can and got my robe into the wash. I hope all the antiperspirant washes out. To be safe, I am going to run it through a second cycle, with the rest of the whites.
So, a new hairdo and a little excitement.
I need to grab a little lunch then I am going to see if hubby would like to wake the fuck up (how he can nap the way he does is beyond me... I never nap unless I am dead dog sick or have a migraine from hell) and help me get the outside lights up. I need to get a move on. December is flying by.
Okay, later, gators. :D
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day of Rest, My Ass
Sunday. Day of rest. A day to sleep in, have a delicious, leisurely brekkie, read the Sunday paper, watch random TV and just veg to your little heart's content. Riiiight...
More like get up, bolt two cups of coffee and an eggy wrap, then jump right in to hard core housework. We got a lot done. this morning and the house is sparkling and fresh and I am tired. Happily, Husband is a helper and didn't just sit on his ass while I busted mine. When he is home, whether it is his day off or after or even before work, he is perfectly happy to help out and will work just as hard around here as I do. I honestly don't understand the attitudes of men who believe that since they work outside the home they are entitled to come home, demand to be spoiled and waited on yet refuse to help with their children and the housework. They live in the house, they mess it up, they helped create the children. They can damned well pay attention and help care for the children and with the housework, too.
Sorry, just a hot button issue for me. Housewives and stay at home moms work damned hard and we also deserve down time, to have someone step in and help pick up the slack and give us a breather and a chance to decompress, too. Homemaking, done right isn't sitting around, eating bon-bons and watching soaps, all day. And dealing with children is a 24/7 job. And if any of those children have any kind of special needs, multiply the difficulty rating by a factor of at least a thousand. And you can see how a stay home wife/mom needs help, not even more work.
Okay, shutting up, before I really go off on a rant and head out on a county wide tour to slap the living shit out of every husband/father who thinks that he "deserves" to relax while everyone is in frantic movement, around him.
My frakking head is in the midst of a Cat 3 blow. My head has really been raging, lately. The changes in air pressure, the additional allergens in the air, stress are all playing their parts to trigger some viscous migraines. I knew I was in for it again, today since I started haloing, late last night. I got up to pee about three in the morning and had all kinds of lovely flashing dots in front of my eyes. Bleargh!
Food is going well, today. I am trying to decide what to do for lunch... I have several good options open to me. Maybe Albacore tuna salad ona bed of lettuce with some salad spritzer. Marley would love it if I had tuna for lunch... lol
Okay, I have to pee and go get me some chow.
I used my last precious sample of Biolage Conditioning Balm when I shampooed my hair, this morning. I really need to get a big tub of that stuff. My hair like it. A lot. It is so. soft.
Okay, now I am outie. Later, dudes. :D
More like get up, bolt two cups of coffee and an eggy wrap, then jump right in to hard core housework. We got a lot done. this morning and the house is sparkling and fresh and I am tired. Happily, Husband is a helper and didn't just sit on his ass while I busted mine. When he is home, whether it is his day off or after or even before work, he is perfectly happy to help out and will work just as hard around here as I do. I honestly don't understand the attitudes of men who believe that since they work outside the home they are entitled to come home, demand to be spoiled and waited on yet refuse to help with their children and the housework. They live in the house, they mess it up, they helped create the children. They can damned well pay attention and help care for the children and with the housework, too.
Sorry, just a hot button issue for me. Housewives and stay at home moms work damned hard and we also deserve down time, to have someone step in and help pick up the slack and give us a breather and a chance to decompress, too. Homemaking, done right isn't sitting around, eating bon-bons and watching soaps, all day. And dealing with children is a 24/7 job. And if any of those children have any kind of special needs, multiply the difficulty rating by a factor of at least a thousand. And you can see how a stay home wife/mom needs help, not even more work.
Okay, shutting up, before I really go off on a rant and head out on a county wide tour to slap the living shit out of every husband/father who thinks that he "deserves" to relax while everyone is in frantic movement, around him.
My frakking head is in the midst of a Cat 3 blow. My head has really been raging, lately. The changes in air pressure, the additional allergens in the air, stress are all playing their parts to trigger some viscous migraines. I knew I was in for it again, today since I started haloing, late last night. I got up to pee about three in the morning and had all kinds of lovely flashing dots in front of my eyes. Bleargh!
Food is going well, today. I am trying to decide what to do for lunch... I have several good options open to me. Maybe Albacore tuna salad ona bed of lettuce with some salad spritzer. Marley would love it if I had tuna for lunch... lol
Okay, I have to pee and go get me some chow.
I used my last precious sample of Biolage Conditioning Balm when I shampooed my hair, this morning. I really need to get a big tub of that stuff. My hair like it. A lot. It is so. soft.
Okay, now I am outie. Later, dudes. :D
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Here You Go, Drazmatazz. One Hair Pic :D
By request, a picture of my hair. From the back with flash. It is a bit washed out and fuzzy. I don't know what is with my stupid camera in self timer mode, lately. It isn't working as well as it used to. I hate the flash washout but it was a bit too dark without it so...
My hair is almost completely virgin hair, unprocessed with chemicals for just over two years. There is a little light hair at my ends from trying to lighten my roots with peroxide to match the rest of my hair in June of '08. (I was trying to match up my dark roots with my peroxide damaged henna removal mess.) I used to have bright, naturally blonde hair. The older I get, the darker and more blah it gets. (NO! I am not saying dark hair is blah! I am saying that my hair is blah.) I hate my base tone, it is an undetermined shade of dark dishwater and brown with some natural dark gold highlights and of course my gracious plenty number of silvers. I am about 40% silver, at this point. And I hate my hair. I can't wait to hit below 300 so that I can go have my hair done.I think I am over colouring my own hair. I hope I can find a really great salon and colourist who won't cost me a fortune to do my hair and my root touch ups in the future.
Okay, that was probably a whole lot more than you ever wanted to know about my stupid hair. lol
My hair is almost completely virgin hair, unprocessed with chemicals for just over two years. There is a little light hair at my ends from trying to lighten my roots with peroxide to match the rest of my hair in June of '08. (I was trying to match up my dark roots with my peroxide damaged henna removal mess.) I used to have bright, naturally blonde hair. The older I get, the darker and more blah it gets. (NO! I am not saying dark hair is blah! I am saying that my hair is blah.) I hate my base tone, it is an undetermined shade of dark dishwater and brown with some natural dark gold highlights and of course my gracious plenty number of silvers. I am about 40% silver, at this point. And I hate my hair. I can't wait to hit below 300 so that I can go have my hair done.I think I am over colouring my own hair. I hope I can find a really great salon and colourist who won't cost me a fortune to do my hair and my root touch ups in the future.
Okay, that was probably a whole lot more than you ever wanted to know about my stupid hair. lol
Pic is clickable to enlarge. (Yeshah, clickable is so a word! "Cause I said so! :P)
The layers are very subtle. Just like I like them. I like that my ends look thicker, I am losing some hair thanks to weight loss. I have noticed a little thinning. I just hope that it doesn't get much worse. :D
The layers are very subtle. Just like I like them. I like that my ends look thicker, I am losing some hair thanks to weight loss. I have noticed a little thinning. I just hope that it doesn't get much worse. :D
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
After Nineteen Days
Nineteen days of smoke then stupid bullshit excuses, we finally got back out on the road, tonight. It felt good to doa brisk two miles, again. I am going to be a little sore, since my muscles aren't used to walking. But the soreness should pass quickly. I kept up a good pace, tonight and made myself carry my arms up at my waist and pump them, rather than let them hang down at my sides. Doing that with my arms lifted me up straightened my spine, made me walk with my head up, not looking at the ground, as I usually do. (All the better to pretend no one else is around... lol) Having my head up and looking forward is better.
Food is good, today. I am at 1195 calories. Not too shabby. :D
I decided to take a big step today and I cut a few layers in my hair. I am an all one length, no layers, no bangs kinda girl but I had a little sticky, damaged hair on my ends on my upper layer of hair from my henna removal disaster a couple of years ago and I just wanted that last little bit of crap ends gone for good and all. My under layer is great, all virgin hair and didn't need trimming, since I have no split ends or breakage or anything. (No sense in trimming hair that doesn't need it.) I did a layer at my ends all the way across by separating the upper layer, combing it straight up, wrapping a hair tie tightly around the pony and pulling it straight up until just the ends were sticking out. Then I just cut my ends off at the top of the hair tie. I made sure it was all level and as even as possible then turned my hair loose, finger combed it, combed it with my comb and checked it in the mirror. I liked the layering in the back... It looks beveled and my ends were all swingy and had nice movement. But the front wasn't as beveled, so I repeated the process with just the hair in front. let it loose and had slightly shorter, slightly more layered ends on either side. Then, I looked carefully for any longer bits that didn't blend in, picked them carefully out and snipped them to match their friends and I was done. The whole process only took a few minutes and I am pretty happy with the result. My hair isn't any shorter, in the back but I have finally closed a painful chapter in my hair's history once and for all.
Now... I just have to grow out and trim away the layers. lol
Yawn! I should sleep well, tonight. :D
Food is good, today. I am at 1195 calories. Not too shabby. :D
I decided to take a big step today and I cut a few layers in my hair. I am an all one length, no layers, no bangs kinda girl but I had a little sticky, damaged hair on my ends on my upper layer of hair from my henna removal disaster a couple of years ago and I just wanted that last little bit of crap ends gone for good and all. My under layer is great, all virgin hair and didn't need trimming, since I have no split ends or breakage or anything. (No sense in trimming hair that doesn't need it.) I did a layer at my ends all the way across by separating the upper layer, combing it straight up, wrapping a hair tie tightly around the pony and pulling it straight up until just the ends were sticking out. Then I just cut my ends off at the top of the hair tie. I made sure it was all level and as even as possible then turned my hair loose, finger combed it, combed it with my comb and checked it in the mirror. I liked the layering in the back... It looks beveled and my ends were all swingy and had nice movement. But the front wasn't as beveled, so I repeated the process with just the hair in front. let it loose and had slightly shorter, slightly more layered ends on either side. Then, I looked carefully for any longer bits that didn't blend in, picked them carefully out and snipped them to match their friends and I was done. The whole process only took a few minutes and I am pretty happy with the result. My hair isn't any shorter, in the back but I have finally closed a painful chapter in my hair's history once and for all.
Now... I just have to grow out and trim away the layers. lol
Yawn! I should sleep well, tonight. :D
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Scale Insanity And an Answer to a Question
So... I jumped on my scale this morning and it registered 343.0. No change. Then I tried it again and 342.4. I then got 342.4 three more times. Le Sigh. I am being driven insane by this stupid scale. I have a great weigh in then a terrible one or two then another great one and it is frustrating.
I know for a fact that I am losing fat. I can feel it. I can see it in the fit of my clothes. So I am not worried. I just have to keep reminding myself that the scale is merely a tool, not my be all or end all. There are a lot of factors that can cause variations in scale numbers. I need to not let it make me nutzy.
Last night, we pounded out a fast two miles and it felt to get out there and go. Husband is starting to burn out on walking. Each time we go, he tries to get me to shorten distance and seems more and more reluctant to go. Whatever. I really don't give a flying shit what he thinks or what he wants and he is going. He no longer dictates everything. And if he doesn't like it, he can suck it.
Has anyone seen It's Complicated yet? Funny movie. I happened across it the other day when I was channel surfing through all the PPV channels. (One perk of Husband working for our local cable company is free TV including a full boat open box and DVR, and free high speed Internet and free phone, including long distance. Maybe that is why I am sticking around? lol) I caught the movie part way in. I need to watch it from the beginning. Should record it, shouldn't I?
Okay, I have a banner on my sidebar that stated that if someone asks you to cut your long hair off just say no. I was recently asked why. I have that banner because I am damned sick and tired of running up against the assumption that everyone who is growing their hair is doing so in order to donate it to Locks of Love. And that if we aren't growing our hair for the sole purpose of donating it, we are somehow uncaring, selfish, horrible, monsters who don't want to help kids with cancer.
Here are a few little things for the Locks of Love army to chew over. Locks of Love is a charity whose mission statement is to make human hair wigs to be sold to children with alopecia or another medical condition that results in permanent hair loss. Locks of Love does not give human hair wigs to children with cancer who will one day re grow their hair. Locks of Love doesn't give wigs to anyone. The wigs are sold to the parents of the child on a sliding scale after a lengthy application process that involves submitting financial records, tax returns, essays and photos. Applying to get a hair piece for a child from that organization is about as intrusive as registering to run for the office of President of this country. lol
Locks of Love has benefited from the massive media push that mistakenly started hyping that the organization gives wigs to children with cancer and that every hair donation will make a child happy and feel good about themselves. And Locks of Love has done nothing to correct this massive misunderstanding. People line up to have their hair chopped off. Schools hold hair donation drives and little girls and boys with long hair are expected to step up and do their part and if they refuse, they are hounded by students and teachers, even principals as being selfish brats who don't care about other kids with cancer. How fucked up is that? How would you like your child to be harassed because he or she wants to keep their hair? How about your workplace holding a chop drive and pressuring you into donating, even if you really love your hair and it is a part of you and you don't want to cut it.
Locks of Love doesn't make wigs of very much of the hair they collect. The vast majority of the hair donated doesn't meet their stringent standards. Hair to be used in wigs must be perfect, virgin hair. It can't be coloured, bleached, highlighted or treated with natural henna. It can't have a lot of split ends, any breakage or even a strand of grey. Very fine or coarse or very curly hair is also excluded. All hair that doesn't fit the criteria is either sold or thrown away. Hair that is sold goes in to extensions, is used to make cores for golf balls and so forth. Locks of Love has an immense cash war chest, thanks to all the money they make selling so much of the hair they collect from donations.
Locks of Love outsources the majority of the wig making work. And the majority of the hair used in the wigs they sell to children is sourced from India, China, Eastern Europe. Very little hair donated here in America is actually used.
Locks of Love will supply a synthetic wig (at a cost, of course) to a child with cancer who has lost their hair due to treatments and will one day grow it back. I ask what is the point? If a child with cancer really wants a wig, they are easily obtained. Locks of Love isn't the only place to get them. People, adults and children who are undergoing cancer treatment are often immunosuppressed and human hair wigs aren't always a good choice for them. Synthetic is better. BUT more important than a wig to anyone fighting cancer that I have ever spoken to is a cure. Beating the disease and getting well. I have yet to meet anyone with cancer who sighed, "I wish someone would give me a wig!"
I understand that there are a lot of people who will shave their hair off in support of a friend or loved one fighting cancer. Sometimes they donate the hair to be sold or sell the hair themselves, to raise money for a cancer hospital or for a person's medical bills. Or they will decide to cut it and donate it to a hair collecting wig making charity. I think that this is a beautiful thing to do. To give a piece of yourself this way, if done freely is a wonderful gesture. And I would never judge a person for making that choice. It is their hair and they are free to do with it as they choose!
And please don't judge me or anyone else who chooses to keep our hair.
There it is. My reason for my banner.
One might get the impression from the above that I am anti short hair, or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am very much pro do your own thing. Whether you rock a chrome dome or tresses that flow to the floor or beyond, or anything in between, it is all good. I do like and appreciate the beauty of long hair. But I also appreciate the beauty of a fabulous short cut. And I would never impose my personal hair philosophy on anyone else. I like to grow my hair out. It is super short (to me, anyway) right now because I damaged it horribly and am growing out and cutting away that damage. Otherwise, it would be hanging somewhere around my mid thigh in length. To me, my hair is a part of me, part of my identity and it causes me physical and spiritual pain to cut it. I debate and waffle for weeks, sometimes months just to decide to trim it. When I have had to cut it short, I cried for days and days. I guess I am a freak... lolol
Bleargh! The humidity went away for a while and the heat is on. It is only eleven and I am already considering closing my windows and firing up my A/C. This heat is making me swell up. And sweat. Which is always fun.
Laundry day, today.
Have you entered my giveaway, yet?
No?
What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? lol
Click the link.
Go ahead.
Do it!
I dare ya!
:D
I know for a fact that I am losing fat. I can feel it. I can see it in the fit of my clothes. So I am not worried. I just have to keep reminding myself that the scale is merely a tool, not my be all or end all. There are a lot of factors that can cause variations in scale numbers. I need to not let it make me nutzy.
Last night, we pounded out a fast two miles and it felt to get out there and go. Husband is starting to burn out on walking. Each time we go, he tries to get me to shorten distance and seems more and more reluctant to go. Whatever. I really don't give a flying shit what he thinks or what he wants and he is going. He no longer dictates everything. And if he doesn't like it, he can suck it.
Has anyone seen It's Complicated yet? Funny movie. I happened across it the other day when I was channel surfing through all the PPV channels. (One perk of Husband working for our local cable company is free TV including a full boat open box and DVR, and free high speed Internet and free phone, including long distance. Maybe that is why I am sticking around? lol) I caught the movie part way in. I need to watch it from the beginning. Should record it, shouldn't I?
Okay, I have a banner on my sidebar that stated that if someone asks you to cut your long hair off just say no. I was recently asked why. I have that banner because I am damned sick and tired of running up against the assumption that everyone who is growing their hair is doing so in order to donate it to Locks of Love. And that if we aren't growing our hair for the sole purpose of donating it, we are somehow uncaring, selfish, horrible, monsters who don't want to help kids with cancer.
Here are a few little things for the Locks of Love army to chew over. Locks of Love is a charity whose mission statement is to make human hair wigs to be sold to children with alopecia or another medical condition that results in permanent hair loss. Locks of Love does not give human hair wigs to children with cancer who will one day re grow their hair. Locks of Love doesn't give wigs to anyone. The wigs are sold to the parents of the child on a sliding scale after a lengthy application process that involves submitting financial records, tax returns, essays and photos. Applying to get a hair piece for a child from that organization is about as intrusive as registering to run for the office of President of this country. lol
Locks of Love has benefited from the massive media push that mistakenly started hyping that the organization gives wigs to children with cancer and that every hair donation will make a child happy and feel good about themselves. And Locks of Love has done nothing to correct this massive misunderstanding. People line up to have their hair chopped off. Schools hold hair donation drives and little girls and boys with long hair are expected to step up and do their part and if they refuse, they are hounded by students and teachers, even principals as being selfish brats who don't care about other kids with cancer. How fucked up is that? How would you like your child to be harassed because he or she wants to keep their hair? How about your workplace holding a chop drive and pressuring you into donating, even if you really love your hair and it is a part of you and you don't want to cut it.
Locks of Love doesn't make wigs of very much of the hair they collect. The vast majority of the hair donated doesn't meet their stringent standards. Hair to be used in wigs must be perfect, virgin hair. It can't be coloured, bleached, highlighted or treated with natural henna. It can't have a lot of split ends, any breakage or even a strand of grey. Very fine or coarse or very curly hair is also excluded. All hair that doesn't fit the criteria is either sold or thrown away. Hair that is sold goes in to extensions, is used to make cores for golf balls and so forth. Locks of Love has an immense cash war chest, thanks to all the money they make selling so much of the hair they collect from donations.
Locks of Love outsources the majority of the wig making work. And the majority of the hair used in the wigs they sell to children is sourced from India, China, Eastern Europe. Very little hair donated here in America is actually used.
Locks of Love will supply a synthetic wig (at a cost, of course) to a child with cancer who has lost their hair due to treatments and will one day grow it back. I ask what is the point? If a child with cancer really wants a wig, they are easily obtained. Locks of Love isn't the only place to get them. People, adults and children who are undergoing cancer treatment are often immunosuppressed and human hair wigs aren't always a good choice for them. Synthetic is better. BUT more important than a wig to anyone fighting cancer that I have ever spoken to is a cure. Beating the disease and getting well. I have yet to meet anyone with cancer who sighed, "I wish someone would give me a wig!"
I understand that there are a lot of people who will shave their hair off in support of a friend or loved one fighting cancer. Sometimes they donate the hair to be sold or sell the hair themselves, to raise money for a cancer hospital or for a person's medical bills. Or they will decide to cut it and donate it to a hair collecting wig making charity. I think that this is a beautiful thing to do. To give a piece of yourself this way, if done freely is a wonderful gesture. And I would never judge a person for making that choice. It is their hair and they are free to do with it as they choose!
And please don't judge me or anyone else who chooses to keep our hair.
There it is. My reason for my banner.
One might get the impression from the above that I am anti short hair, or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am very much pro do your own thing. Whether you rock a chrome dome or tresses that flow to the floor or beyond, or anything in between, it is all good. I do like and appreciate the beauty of long hair. But I also appreciate the beauty of a fabulous short cut. And I would never impose my personal hair philosophy on anyone else. I like to grow my hair out. It is super short (to me, anyway) right now because I damaged it horribly and am growing out and cutting away that damage. Otherwise, it would be hanging somewhere around my mid thigh in length. To me, my hair is a part of me, part of my identity and it causes me physical and spiritual pain to cut it. I debate and waffle for weeks, sometimes months just to decide to trim it. When I have had to cut it short, I cried for days and days. I guess I am a freak... lolol
Bleargh! The humidity went away for a while and the heat is on. It is only eleven and I am already considering closing my windows and firing up my A/C. This heat is making me swell up. And sweat. Which is always fun.
Laundry day, today.
Have you entered my giveaway, yet?
No?
What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? lol
Click the link.
Go ahead.
Do it!
I dare ya!
:D
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Falling... Falling...
My hair is falling.
*sigh*
I was aware that this was going to happen. When you change your diet (I am not using "diet" as in "I am on a diet", I am using "diet" to reference my overall food plan.) and start losing weight, you force your body to put more nutrients into vital functions, such as organ, blood and muscle function and protection. Sadly, vanities, such as hair, nails and even skin, to a certain extent get short shrift and suffer for it. My skin is okay and my nails aren't that badly affected but my hair... My hair is shedding quite a bit.
I am someone to whom her hair is important and to have it falling out this way is distressing. Mind, I have thick hair, but it isn't in unlimited supply. lol If it keeps falling out as it is, one of these days, it is going to start looking thinner. Bleargh! Hopefully it won't thin too much.
Hair does grow back. I get that. And I would rather have a thinner, healthier body and thinner hair that has to thicken back up than a very obese body and crazy thick hair. It is a trade off that I am willing (sorta) to make.
Okay, I must motor. It is time to hit the trails. I'll check back in, later, gators.:D
*sigh*
I was aware that this was going to happen. When you change your diet (I am not using "diet" as in "I am on a diet", I am using "diet" to reference my overall food plan.) and start losing weight, you force your body to put more nutrients into vital functions, such as organ, blood and muscle function and protection. Sadly, vanities, such as hair, nails and even skin, to a certain extent get short shrift and suffer for it. My skin is okay and my nails aren't that badly affected but my hair... My hair is shedding quite a bit.
I am someone to whom her hair is important and to have it falling out this way is distressing. Mind, I have thick hair, but it isn't in unlimited supply. lol If it keeps falling out as it is, one of these days, it is going to start looking thinner. Bleargh! Hopefully it won't thin too much.
Hair does grow back. I get that. And I would rather have a thinner, healthier body and thinner hair that has to thicken back up than a very obese body and crazy thick hair. It is a trade off that I am willing (sorta) to make.
Okay, I must motor. It is time to hit the trails. I'll check back in, later, gators.:D
Friday, April 2, 2010
Angry
With myself.
Yesterday was a good day... A little high on calories but nothing out of the realm of normal. I indulge in a big Subway sandwich once a week. and I have all of my special faves including lite mayo and avocado. I know that it is a little high in calories but it is also low in fat and packed with good protein, tons of veggies and healthy fats. And it is a lot better than a sack full of Taco Bell, Long John's or a huge, greasy cheeseburger and fries and a big old chocolate shake. So yeah... Did okay and felt good.
Today (April 2) was full of fail. I won't go into all of the gory details. Suffice it to say, I am sick, hurting, mad as hell at myself and pissed that I let my demons get the better of me and I tried to eat myself out of their path.
I get so. Frustrated with myself, sometimes. I mean, I do well for a while then all of a sudden, it all comes crashing in on me. My fears, my anger, my obsessive thoughts and patterns overwhelm me and I try to shut them down and only end up in a big old mess, swimming in heartburn and burping up what I would really rather not talk about.
Gross.
It started early, this morning. Haunting. Sneaking. Slithering into my brain. Little by little it grew stronger. And by this afternoon I was in full on feeding frenzy mode. Luckily, there wasn't a heck of a lot around but I still managed to do some fairly substantial damage. And I ate two grilled hamburger patties and a pile of baked shoestrings that would choke a football player for dinner.
I want to throw up.
I want to hide in a dark room and never come out.
If I don't go take a couple of Pepto tablets, I am going to projectile vomit all over my laptop.
Urp!
It's funny, while I was being a complete self indulgent moron today, I half didn't want to do it. I don't think that my whole heart was in it. Not like usual. And, while I was being a self indulgent moron, I was fully aware of the upcoming consequences of my actions. Another thing I don't think about when in the throes of a full on feeding frenzy. Is it possible that slowly, little by little my thought processes are beginning to change? Am I becoming a bit more self aware. Am I evolving from this creature I am now into something new?
Good Lord, I hope so.
So, I am sitting here, a burning, nasty bile taste in the back of my throat, stomach feeling as if it is packed with concrete, gallbladder area letting me know that that particular part of me isn't at all happy with me at the moment expounding on making positive mental and emotional changes.
Cripes. What a fucking laugh.
Let's see. what else is going on? Pretty much the usual. Housework got done. Nails didn't. My current mani is actually holding up pretty well. I do have a tiny chip on my right middle finger nail (must have chipped it flipping myself the bird, all day today...). I didn't bother to repair it because I am planning a polish change tomorrow. I think that I would like something Spring-y and girlie for Easter.
Speaking of Easter...
Husband came home dragging a a spiral cut ham behind him. And a huge jar of real mayo so that I could make potato salad to go with it. Potato salad. I know myself. I know myself really well. Potato salad and I can't be in the same house. Hell, potato salad and I can't be in the same freaking zip code. Seriously, I can't lay off that stuff. Not for all that is good or beautiful in this world. And mayo... Forget it. It might as well be crack and I might as well be an addict.
I was thinking these things as I was putting away the ham and a few other things Husband brought home from the store and stashing the quart of Best Foods in my pantry. I closed the door then suddenly opened it up again, took the mayo out and put it on the dining table and told him that he could return the mayo to the store; that I had decided that I would rather make a small pot of mashed potatoes, instead. He agreed, Husband has a strong affinity for mashed potatoes. Especially the way I make mashed potatoes. lol
I'll steam some lovely fresh veggies for myself and have a little dab of mashed with my proper portion of ham (heck yeah! I am having a little ham! :D) and the boyz can kill the rest of them. That way, I can enjoy my holiday dinner and still respect myself in the morning. :D
I think that my Pepto tablets are beginning to kick in. I am beginning to feel a little less like crap on a stick.
You want to know that hardest part of trying to make positive changes in eating habits this time of year? No Cadbury eggs. No creme eggs. No mini caramel eggs. No truffle eggs. I admit it. I am pissed that I can't have my Cadbury eggs. They are a yearly ritual for me that go back to my teens. (Yes, we had Cadbury eggs back then... lol) And I am craving them and missing them something fierce, right now.
I'll live.
I will.
Really.
:D
I feel like knitting something. What, I don't know. Isn't it strange that as the temperature starts to rise, I feel like hauling out wool and needles and forming heavy, warm fabric with them? lol
I am pin dot haloing and my forehead and neck are really tightening up, tonight. I am going to be in major trouble, tomorrow.
I hate headaches. I really, really hate them. And, since I started educating myself about them and started tracking my symptoms, I am more fully aware of them, how and when they are going to strike and from my haloing, I can usually tell how bad they are going to get. What I can't predict is if I am going to get the lovely stabbing.
About one headache in three I get this horrid pain in the area of my right temple. It feels as if someone is stabbing me in the side of the head with a knife. It goes from my temple in through my brain and ends behind my eyes, back, deep in my brain. (Yes, I know that technically, that is not where the pain is, however that is how it feels.) I get several in a row, get a short break then several more. I usually get three or four repeats. Then it stops. The pain from these episodes is exquisite. It brings me to a full stop. Sometimes it drops me to my knees. All I can do is grab the side of my head and wait for it to end. Thankfully, it is usually over in one to three minutes. I normally only have one episode like this, tho I have had several, several hours apart in the same day.
I think that I am going to start collecting shed hairs and put them in my hair receiver. I am feeling the urge to colour my hair. But, I have learned some very valuable lessons and nothing goes on my hair ever again without a strand test. Or several strand tests. I have done the whole scrag my hair, cut it off and grow it all out thing for the last time. lol
Okay, this entry is way too long and way too random. Time to shut it down and post it.
Yesterday was a good day... A little high on calories but nothing out of the realm of normal. I indulge in a big Subway sandwich once a week. and I have all of my special faves including lite mayo and avocado. I know that it is a little high in calories but it is also low in fat and packed with good protein, tons of veggies and healthy fats. And it is a lot better than a sack full of Taco Bell, Long John's or a huge, greasy cheeseburger and fries and a big old chocolate shake. So yeah... Did okay and felt good.
Today (April 2) was full of fail. I won't go into all of the gory details. Suffice it to say, I am sick, hurting, mad as hell at myself and pissed that I let my demons get the better of me and I tried to eat myself out of their path.
I get so. Frustrated with myself, sometimes. I mean, I do well for a while then all of a sudden, it all comes crashing in on me. My fears, my anger, my obsessive thoughts and patterns overwhelm me and I try to shut them down and only end up in a big old mess, swimming in heartburn and burping up what I would really rather not talk about.
Gross.
It started early, this morning. Haunting. Sneaking. Slithering into my brain. Little by little it grew stronger. And by this afternoon I was in full on feeding frenzy mode. Luckily, there wasn't a heck of a lot around but I still managed to do some fairly substantial damage. And I ate two grilled hamburger patties and a pile of baked shoestrings that would choke a football player for dinner.
I want to throw up.
I want to hide in a dark room and never come out.
If I don't go take a couple of Pepto tablets, I am going to projectile vomit all over my laptop.
Urp!
It's funny, while I was being a complete self indulgent moron today, I half didn't want to do it. I don't think that my whole heart was in it. Not like usual. And, while I was being a self indulgent moron, I was fully aware of the upcoming consequences of my actions. Another thing I don't think about when in the throes of a full on feeding frenzy. Is it possible that slowly, little by little my thought processes are beginning to change? Am I becoming a bit more self aware. Am I evolving from this creature I am now into something new?
Good Lord, I hope so.
So, I am sitting here, a burning, nasty bile taste in the back of my throat, stomach feeling as if it is packed with concrete, gallbladder area letting me know that that particular part of me isn't at all happy with me at the moment expounding on making positive mental and emotional changes.
Cripes. What a fucking laugh.
Let's see. what else is going on? Pretty much the usual. Housework got done. Nails didn't. My current mani is actually holding up pretty well. I do have a tiny chip on my right middle finger nail (must have chipped it flipping myself the bird, all day today...). I didn't bother to repair it because I am planning a polish change tomorrow. I think that I would like something Spring-y and girlie for Easter.
Speaking of Easter...
Husband came home dragging a a spiral cut ham behind him. And a huge jar of real mayo so that I could make potato salad to go with it. Potato salad. I know myself. I know myself really well. Potato salad and I can't be in the same house. Hell, potato salad and I can't be in the same freaking zip code. Seriously, I can't lay off that stuff. Not for all that is good or beautiful in this world. And mayo... Forget it. It might as well be crack and I might as well be an addict.
I was thinking these things as I was putting away the ham and a few other things Husband brought home from the store and stashing the quart of Best Foods in my pantry. I closed the door then suddenly opened it up again, took the mayo out and put it on the dining table and told him that he could return the mayo to the store; that I had decided that I would rather make a small pot of mashed potatoes, instead. He agreed, Husband has a strong affinity for mashed potatoes. Especially the way I make mashed potatoes. lol
I'll steam some lovely fresh veggies for myself and have a little dab of mashed with my proper portion of ham (heck yeah! I am having a little ham! :D) and the boyz can kill the rest of them. That way, I can enjoy my holiday dinner and still respect myself in the morning. :D
I think that my Pepto tablets are beginning to kick in. I am beginning to feel a little less like crap on a stick.
You want to know that hardest part of trying to make positive changes in eating habits this time of year? No Cadbury eggs. No creme eggs. No mini caramel eggs. No truffle eggs. I admit it. I am pissed that I can't have my Cadbury eggs. They are a yearly ritual for me that go back to my teens. (Yes, we had Cadbury eggs back then... lol) And I am craving them and missing them something fierce, right now.
I'll live.
I will.
Really.
:D
I feel like knitting something. What, I don't know. Isn't it strange that as the temperature starts to rise, I feel like hauling out wool and needles and forming heavy, warm fabric with them? lol
I am pin dot haloing and my forehead and neck are really tightening up, tonight. I am going to be in major trouble, tomorrow.
I hate headaches. I really, really hate them. And, since I started educating myself about them and started tracking my symptoms, I am more fully aware of them, how and when they are going to strike and from my haloing, I can usually tell how bad they are going to get. What I can't predict is if I am going to get the lovely stabbing.
About one headache in three I get this horrid pain in the area of my right temple. It feels as if someone is stabbing me in the side of the head with a knife. It goes from my temple in through my brain and ends behind my eyes, back, deep in my brain. (Yes, I know that technically, that is not where the pain is, however that is how it feels.) I get several in a row, get a short break then several more. I usually get three or four repeats. Then it stops. The pain from these episodes is exquisite. It brings me to a full stop. Sometimes it drops me to my knees. All I can do is grab the side of my head and wait for it to end. Thankfully, it is usually over in one to three minutes. I normally only have one episode like this, tho I have had several, several hours apart in the same day.
I think that I am going to start collecting shed hairs and put them in my hair receiver. I am feeling the urge to colour my hair. But, I have learned some very valuable lessons and nothing goes on my hair ever again without a strand test. Or several strand tests. I have done the whole scrag my hair, cut it off and grow it all out thing for the last time. lol
Okay, this entry is way too long and way too random. Time to shut it down and post it.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Up to My Eyes
Busy, today. Every time I try to settle in for a little blog love or surfing, I have to do a pile of updates, laundry needs attention, the dog has to go out, Husband has something to talk about, housework needs doing, hair has to be trimmed, shower has to be taken.
*deep inhale*
I think that things have calmed down a little, now. lol
Hair... Chopped three and a half inches of really damaged, previously hennaed hair off. I nearly died, hearing the scissors slicing through my tresses. But it had to go. Growing my hair knowing that it just had to be chopped as fast as it grew was demoralising and I was done with babying it through the endless grow/trim process. It is still below my shoulders but it feels so. Short. And it feels so much better. Now I can just let it grow, let it grow, let it grow. Yep... I am one of those long hair people. Having such short hair for the last couple of years has been really, really hard for me. I want my long hair back. And now, I can just let it grow. :D :D
Today is going well, as far as eating is concerned. I am not overly hungry, today. I had coffee and oatmeal with fruit for brekkie and I just ate a counted serving of mini pretzels. I need to have some lunch, sometime this afternoon. I am feeling a tad shaky and in need of nourishment. I'll get it it in a bit.
Yesterday was good. I landed at 1400 calories for the day. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. :D
My head is still, my mind is calm my thoughts are quiet. I feel in control and level, today. I am aware that I need to have something to eat but I don't feel as if I have to run to my kitchen and stuff my face. I can eat whenever. And I will be fine. I am fine.
What a concept. :D
We are expecting our new dining table and chairs to be delivered shortly. It will be nice to have a nice wood table and four sturdy, new chairs. I was a little bit over using a patio table (that had to be kept forever covered by a tablecloth) and three wobbly, touch them and the backs fall off chairs with cat hair covered butt pads. My cat isn't going to be happy about it... He liked sleeping on those chair seat pads. I am just as happy to get rid of them. I could never get them as clean and hair free as I wanted to. And if I can't clean something to my satisfaction, I am very likely to give it the old heave ho.
I did some updates on my 'puter, today. Flash Player, Adobe Reader, Yahoo Toolbar. HP wants me to download some software updates, too but I fear that one and am putting it off. Sometimes I really hate being a computer idiot. lol My puter still needs to be reformatted. But it will have to wait until we can get someone who knows what they are doing to do the job. No way am I even going to attempt that trick.
My head is bad. I am sound sensitive today and miserable. I can haz new head now, plz?
I chipped the polish on my left middle finger and thought I had repaired it. Now that spot is chipped, again. *sigh* Guess it's time to re do my nails. Maybe I'll do them after the furniture comes.
*deep inhale*
I think that things have calmed down a little, now. lol
Hair... Chopped three and a half inches of really damaged, previously hennaed hair off. I nearly died, hearing the scissors slicing through my tresses. But it had to go. Growing my hair knowing that it just had to be chopped as fast as it grew was demoralising and I was done with babying it through the endless grow/trim process. It is still below my shoulders but it feels so. Short. And it feels so much better. Now I can just let it grow, let it grow, let it grow. Yep... I am one of those long hair people. Having such short hair for the last couple of years has been really, really hard for me. I want my long hair back. And now, I can just let it grow. :D :D
Today is going well, as far as eating is concerned. I am not overly hungry, today. I had coffee and oatmeal with fruit for brekkie and I just ate a counted serving of mini pretzels. I need to have some lunch, sometime this afternoon. I am feeling a tad shaky and in need of nourishment. I'll get it it in a bit.
Yesterday was good. I landed at 1400 calories for the day. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. :D
My head is still, my mind is calm my thoughts are quiet. I feel in control and level, today. I am aware that I need to have something to eat but I don't feel as if I have to run to my kitchen and stuff my face. I can eat whenever. And I will be fine. I am fine.
What a concept. :D
We are expecting our new dining table and chairs to be delivered shortly. It will be nice to have a nice wood table and four sturdy, new chairs. I was a little bit over using a patio table (that had to be kept forever covered by a tablecloth) and three wobbly, touch them and the backs fall off chairs with cat hair covered butt pads. My cat isn't going to be happy about it... He liked sleeping on those chair seat pads. I am just as happy to get rid of them. I could never get them as clean and hair free as I wanted to. And if I can't clean something to my satisfaction, I am very likely to give it the old heave ho.
I did some updates on my 'puter, today. Flash Player, Adobe Reader, Yahoo Toolbar. HP wants me to download some software updates, too but I fear that one and am putting it off. Sometimes I really hate being a computer idiot. lol My puter still needs to be reformatted. But it will have to wait until we can get someone who knows what they are doing to do the job. No way am I even going to attempt that trick.
My head is bad. I am sound sensitive today and miserable. I can haz new head now, plz?
I chipped the polish on my left middle finger and thought I had repaired it. Now that spot is chipped, again. *sigh* Guess it's time to re do my nails. Maybe I'll do them after the furniture comes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)