My head is back down to a calm Cat 1. Relief. :) Hopefully it will stay quiet for a bit. I could use a breather. lol
Thank you all for your hugs and love. You all help me to feel better. *hugs*
I am having a really great day, food and water wise. I did decent, yesterday. Not stellar but better. I really am trying very hard to turn this slump around. Yo-yoing in the same area, losing only ten pounds since January is hardly impressive. And it makes me feel pretty crappy. I really want to see how close I can get to the one hundreds by the end of this year and I am not going to get there with shenanigans. I need to do the work, not just pay it lip service. Oh yeah. I have become good at that bullshit, lately. Allowing a slip because I have done so well and one won't matter. Until I do it again, the next frakking day.
That is the kind of fucked up thinking that has sent me into a total spiral and gain it all back plus more more times than I can count. And I have no interest in doing that, again. So, I am taking myself to task and not allowing anymore crap thinking and slipping. "Just this once." Just this once, my big, dimpled, white ass.
Anywhoozle, today is pretty fab. I am sitting at 1228 calories. And almost five quarts of water down. Now to start a streak. :D
It got up to almost seventy, today. It is still going to be in the thirties at night... Yuk. But at least it is warming up a bit, again.
I was so pissed at William last night that I almost chopped my hair off. I got out my scissors to cut out coupons and I had them in my hand and had this insane urge to just weed whack my hair. I am sooooo glad I didn't give in to that urge! I hate my hair short (I am not saying I hate short hair, you close cropped beauties, out there. I just hate it on me. :)) and would have been kicking myself from here to Pluto if I had cut it. Almost every time I have chopped my hair off it has been an emotional reaction to something that has really upset me. Usually thanks to my husband.
Man just isn't good for a serious dyed in the wool longhair like me. :P
Once stupid face gets his shit together, I need to get into a salon and get it coloured. I am so. sick of looking at it like this. Blech! Dirty dishwater just doesn't inspire me. I don't even want to style it, right now. I just wash and condition it, twist it up in a big jaw claw and ignore it. That is how meh I am about it, right now.
Oh! Speaking of hair... I was asked if I would like to hold a giveaway sponsored by a hair styling tools company over on my other blog. If you would like to enter to maybe win a new hair straightener, here is my giveaway post. I am not into using a straightener, myself (I can get about the same look with a blowout, so I don't really need one) but I know that a lot of gals really like them. This is supposed to be a good one. It retails for $129.00 and has tourmaline ceramic plates that are supposed to get your hair really smooth and shiny. So, please come on over and enter, if you like. :)
Well... I can't really think of a lot more to talk about, at the moment. I hope that everyone has a great night. <3
Showing posts with label Fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fat. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I'm Calling the Groundhog Out
It is time for the little fucker to live up to his promise and end this Winter shit.
Now.
On February second a liquored up (allegedly, I mean... don't you need to be really wasted to think that hauling an innocent, sleeping furry creature out of it's warm, Winterized den is even remotely cool?) overdressed man (why is it always men who do this crazy shit? In tuxedos?), hauled Punxsutawney Phil out of his hole and the creature, through his incredible powers of prognostication predicted an early Spring.
It snowed here, yesterday.
The groundhog lied.
He gets that one free pass. Now, if there is any further hint of Winter, the little fucker is toast.
It is a prettier day, today. It is sunny and warming up a little. I did all my laundry yesterday. Today, I have other chores to do. Then I think I need a fresh manicure. My pedicure is still in good shape, so I don't have to hassle with that.
I suppose I should get to it... I have spent the entire morning just sitting around, slurping coffee, goofing around on my 'puter, watching TV. Being completely unproductive and useless in the extreme. I just finished watching Easy A. Have you seen it? I have to say, for a "teen movie" it is surprisingly good. Sharp, smart and funny as heck. It is a very loose, contemporary adaptation of Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter. I got a kick out of it.
Let's see... Yesterday I did well on calories. 1300 and change and I drank all of my water. I managed to stay out of the chip bag and away from other free roaming things I shouldn't eat. I am working to extend my streak today, as well.
Okay, I need to get off this computer and my ass and get to it. I'll check in with all of you, later. :D
Now.
On February second a liquored up (allegedly, I mean... don't you need to be really wasted to think that hauling an innocent, sleeping furry creature out of it's warm, Winterized den is even remotely cool?) overdressed man (why is it always men who do this crazy shit? In tuxedos?), hauled Punxsutawney Phil out of his hole and the creature, through his incredible powers of prognostication predicted an early Spring.
It snowed here, yesterday.
The groundhog lied.
He gets that one free pass. Now, if there is any further hint of Winter, the little fucker is toast.
It is a prettier day, today. It is sunny and warming up a little. I did all my laundry yesterday. Today, I have other chores to do. Then I think I need a fresh manicure. My pedicure is still in good shape, so I don't have to hassle with that.
I suppose I should get to it... I have spent the entire morning just sitting around, slurping coffee, goofing around on my 'puter, watching TV. Being completely unproductive and useless in the extreme. I just finished watching Easy A. Have you seen it? I have to say, for a "teen movie" it is surprisingly good. Sharp, smart and funny as heck. It is a very loose, contemporary adaptation of Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter. I got a kick out of it.
Let's see... Yesterday I did well on calories. 1300 and change and I drank all of my water. I managed to stay out of the chip bag and away from other free roaming things I shouldn't eat. I am working to extend my streak today, as well.
Okay, I need to get off this computer and my ass and get to it. I'll check in with all of you, later. :D
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Been a Few, Huh?
I am just not feeling all that chatty. Nothing really wrong, or anything. I am fighting with my eating, again. *sigh* Nothing outrageous but I am not happy with myself. I feel so stupid. I know better and how to do better. But I make the wrong choices. It is almost as if I want to fail? It feels weird and wrong. And I am working through it.
I think I need to get rid of my soy sauce. I use light soy, less sodium but it still makes me swell up like a poisoned dog. And if it is in my house, I am going to use it. Time to kiss it goodbye. I had to take a whole Lasix, this morning, for the puffiness. Not good. I am slamming water and have my feet up... Ugh!
It is warm, today. Sunny and clear as a bell and just lovely. It is supposed to hit 73 for a high, this afternoon. Love it! I am just hoping this isn't a Spring tease. I have a nasty feeling that Old Man Winter isn't quite finished with us. We usually get some noce weather, start thinking the worst is over, then it gets cold again. And sometimes we get a nice, late snow dumped on us for good measure, too.
I am reading a good deal about food addiction, lately. No doubt it exists. I am a food addict. And I am struggling with that, lately. But I can't sit here and blame the addiction for my choices. Ultimately, I am responsible for those choices. Addiction or not. An alcoholic chooses to take a drink. A drug addict chooses to shoot up. I chose to stand in front of my pantry cabinet and eat some cheese puffs, yesterday. No one held a gun to my head. I chose it. I have to take responsibility for that choice, addiction or not. A large part of recovering from an addiction is taking responsibility for choices made. Knowing that yes, we have an addiction but we still make the decision to indulge in the drug, drink or food of choice.
I am so sick of my bullshit. Seriously. Some days I want to slap the shit out of myself. I would happily slap the shit out of someone else behaving as I do. I would gladly slap them a royal one, shout "Wake the fuck up!" and remind them that this is their life they are fighting for, here. So, I have to willing to slap the shit out of myself, shout to myself to "Wake the fuck up!" and remind myself that this is my life I am fighting for, here. I need my gallbladder out. I need to get the pressure of extreme weight off my trashed hips and knees. I desperately need to get the pressure of extreme weigh off my poor hips and knees. I need to get this done. And I don't need to be indulging in food fuckery and slowing my progress and harming myself, making my hips and knees live in this over sized body any longer than they have to.
I have a job to do. Time to dummy up and deal.
*sigh*
My hips hurt so bad yesterday that I finally put in a call to my doc to get her okay on using NSAIDS and Lasix together. She gave me the go ahead and I now have sweet relief from the pain. Even my hamburger knees feel a little better. I might actually feel good enough to get out and take a walk, later. I have been hobbling around for almost a week, it feels good to be able to move freely, again.
Okay, I need to go toss Sabryna's beddies cover in the dryer and hit the head. I am peeing like a racehorse.
I think I need to get rid of my soy sauce. I use light soy, less sodium but it still makes me swell up like a poisoned dog. And if it is in my house, I am going to use it. Time to kiss it goodbye. I had to take a whole Lasix, this morning, for the puffiness. Not good. I am slamming water and have my feet up... Ugh!
It is warm, today. Sunny and clear as a bell and just lovely. It is supposed to hit 73 for a high, this afternoon. Love it! I am just hoping this isn't a Spring tease. I have a nasty feeling that Old Man Winter isn't quite finished with us. We usually get some noce weather, start thinking the worst is over, then it gets cold again. And sometimes we get a nice, late snow dumped on us for good measure, too.
I am reading a good deal about food addiction, lately. No doubt it exists. I am a food addict. And I am struggling with that, lately. But I can't sit here and blame the addiction for my choices. Ultimately, I am responsible for those choices. Addiction or not. An alcoholic chooses to take a drink. A drug addict chooses to shoot up. I chose to stand in front of my pantry cabinet and eat some cheese puffs, yesterday. No one held a gun to my head. I chose it. I have to take responsibility for that choice, addiction or not. A large part of recovering from an addiction is taking responsibility for choices made. Knowing that yes, we have an addiction but we still make the decision to indulge in the drug, drink or food of choice.
I am so sick of my bullshit. Seriously. Some days I want to slap the shit out of myself. I would happily slap the shit out of someone else behaving as I do. I would gladly slap them a royal one, shout "Wake the fuck up!" and remind them that this is their life they are fighting for, here. So, I have to willing to slap the shit out of myself, shout to myself to "Wake the fuck up!" and remind myself that this is my life I am fighting for, here. I need my gallbladder out. I need to get the pressure of extreme weight off my trashed hips and knees. I desperately need to get the pressure of extreme weigh off my poor hips and knees. I need to get this done. And I don't need to be indulging in food fuckery and slowing my progress and harming myself, making my hips and knees live in this over sized body any longer than they have to.
I have a job to do. Time to dummy up and deal.
*sigh*
My hips hurt so bad yesterday that I finally put in a call to my doc to get her okay on using NSAIDS and Lasix together. She gave me the go ahead and I now have sweet relief from the pain. Even my hamburger knees feel a little better. I might actually feel good enough to get out and take a walk, later. I have been hobbling around for almost a week, it feels good to be able to move freely, again.
Okay, I need to go toss Sabryna's beddies cover in the dryer and hit the head. I am peeing like a racehorse.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Current Weight
288.8 down 5.1 pounds. Woot!
I have to be honest... I don't know how the hell I managed it. lol I guess just not indulging is so much food fuckery, drinking my water and actually trying to stay on track actually works. Who knew? ;)
It feels really good to have my scale headed in the right direction, again. All the battling and struggling wasn't pleasant but I guess I needed to do it. I am feeling better and encouraged and uplifted. I needed a nice little drop, an affirmation to myself that I am doing the right thing. *whew!* Thank you all for your support and encouragement. <3 I <3 you, all!
It is a pretty day today. Clear and it is supposed to warm up really nicely. The lake trails should be nice and dry, again and you know what that means... Mama can go out and walk the trails, again. The city needs to build covers over all of the trails to keep them nice and dry so that we can walk them, even in the worst of weather. Hell, heat them in the Winter and air condition them in the Summer, too. Now, that is a fantasy made in a sci fi book, yes? :D
Marley now has a Catbook profile on Facebook. If anyone has a kitty or is an admirer and would like to friend him or your kitty would like to friend him, clickety, click to travel to his profile. Marley will accept friend requests, kitteh and human. :D
I am drinking coffee, then I think I will have brekkie. I am almost out of eggs, so methinks oatmeal is on the menu. Which is fine, I had eggs, yesterday. I have been eating just whites, lately. I normally do one whole egg and two or three whites, (I have normal cholesterol, so the yolks aren't a problem for me) but I can cut the calories by just doing whites. (Duh!!!) I season them with a little salt and pepper, some Tobasco, a pinch of garlic powder, a nice sploodge of yellow mustard (learned that trick from Tammy :D) and soften them with a little splash of fat free half and half. I used to use water, but water just waters out when the eggs cook and that grosses me out, so ff 1/2 &1/2 it is. It works. I do kind of miss the yolk, and I still have one now and again but all egg whites still gives me the protein I need and when I add a little sauteed onion and mushroom and a little light cheese or a wedge of Laughing Cow Light or a T. of light cream cheese, some salsa, it is filling and good and, well... Nom, nom, nom.
It is the first of March. And that means, Spring allergies. My beak is going crazy. My eyes should follow, soon. Bleargh! I am half tempted to try Claritin, this year. I am sooo tired of the symptoms. But Claritin is spendy. I need to see if my Health Fund pays for it. It does pay for certain OTC drugs and so forth. I should also see if it pays for my vitamins, too. Vitamins are expensive, especially when you take a pile of stuff. I don't know why I didn't think of this, before. Dur! Brain dead old battleaxe, I am. :P
Okay. I am hongry, my bed needs to be made and I want a shower, so I am going to release you from the torture of reading this crap, for now.
Later, gators.
I have to be honest... I don't know how the hell I managed it. lol I guess just not indulging is so much food fuckery, drinking my water and actually trying to stay on track actually works. Who knew? ;)
It feels really good to have my scale headed in the right direction, again. All the battling and struggling wasn't pleasant but I guess I needed to do it. I am feeling better and encouraged and uplifted. I needed a nice little drop, an affirmation to myself that I am doing the right thing. *whew!* Thank you all for your support and encouragement. <3 I <3 you, all!
It is a pretty day today. Clear and it is supposed to warm up really nicely. The lake trails should be nice and dry, again and you know what that means... Mama can go out and walk the trails, again. The city needs to build covers over all of the trails to keep them nice and dry so that we can walk them, even in the worst of weather. Hell, heat them in the Winter and air condition them in the Summer, too. Now, that is a fantasy made in a sci fi book, yes? :D
Marley now has a Catbook profile on Facebook. If anyone has a kitty or is an admirer and would like to friend him or your kitty would like to friend him, clickety, click to travel to his profile. Marley will accept friend requests, kitteh and human. :D
I am drinking coffee, then I think I will have brekkie. I am almost out of eggs, so methinks oatmeal is on the menu. Which is fine, I had eggs, yesterday. I have been eating just whites, lately. I normally do one whole egg and two or three whites, (I have normal cholesterol, so the yolks aren't a problem for me) but I can cut the calories by just doing whites. (Duh!!!) I season them with a little salt and pepper, some Tobasco, a pinch of garlic powder, a nice sploodge of yellow mustard (learned that trick from Tammy :D) and soften them with a little splash of fat free half and half. I used to use water, but water just waters out when the eggs cook and that grosses me out, so ff 1/2 &1/2 it is. It works. I do kind of miss the yolk, and I still have one now and again but all egg whites still gives me the protein I need and when I add a little sauteed onion and mushroom and a little light cheese or a wedge of Laughing Cow Light or a T. of light cream cheese, some salsa, it is filling and good and, well... Nom, nom, nom.
It is the first of March. And that means, Spring allergies. My beak is going crazy. My eyes should follow, soon. Bleargh! I am half tempted to try Claritin, this year. I am sooo tired of the symptoms. But Claritin is spendy. I need to see if my Health Fund pays for it. It does pay for certain OTC drugs and so forth. I should also see if it pays for my vitamins, too. Vitamins are expensive, especially when you take a pile of stuff. I don't know why I didn't think of this, before. Dur! Brain dead old battleaxe, I am. :P
Okay. I am hongry, my bed needs to be made and I want a shower, so I am going to release you from the torture of reading this crap, for now.
Later, gators.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Still Not Feeling Chatty
I'm okay, tho. On track and drinking my water. If my scale doesn't move on Sunday morning I am going to
I am having far more good days than bad, lately. I seem to be getting past my food fuckery and my head is more in the game. *sigh* I just need this to get a little less intensely hard than it has been, lately. I need a chance to put this all in auto pilot and just coast for a while. I am weary of constantly battling and thinking about it and worrying about Sunday morning.
My head is bad. I need to close that blind before my brain explodes and get some more water. *slurp*
Mmmkay... I'm outie. Later, gators. :)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
In Like a Lion
Happy March, lovies. :D
I am not neglecting my blog. I am just not feeling overly chatty and when I get like this, I just don't post much. I am okay with food and water, after a somewhat rough weekend. I didn't binge or blow it out or anything but I didn't stay at 1200. I am so mad at myself. It seems that since September I am just treading water. Dog paddling a little then treading water, again. Barely keeping my head above water. And it is so stupid. I am fully capable of doing so much better, losing so much faster, powering through. It is bullshit and it needs to stop.
Other than that, not too much that is noteworthy, around here. Life is day to day. I do my thing and get through. :)
So, WTF on The Biggest Loser? Sending Arthur home? Are those people on the red team that fucking stupid? Are they that easily led? They are still buying this "Your team is your family" bullshit. And they are still letting Justen lead them around by the nose and control the game. Wake up, people! Kaylee should have been sent home. Her percentage of weight loss is the lowest, week after week. She is closest to her goal. But the sheep just follow the evil, bearded shepherd and baaa-baaa as he tells them how to live, how to vote, how to feel. They deserve what is coming to them. Steady annihilation at the hands of Roulon and Justen. I really need to lower my expectations and just stop thinking that these people get it.
Oh well. Why do I give a shit? Seriously. If these people are willing to be lead around by the nose, that is their problem. Not mine.
Lordy. I have to pee, again. :P
I am not neglecting my blog. I am just not feeling overly chatty and when I get like this, I just don't post much. I am okay with food and water, after a somewhat rough weekend. I didn't binge or blow it out or anything but I didn't stay at 1200. I am so mad at myself. It seems that since September I am just treading water. Dog paddling a little then treading water, again. Barely keeping my head above water. And it is so stupid. I am fully capable of doing so much better, losing so much faster, powering through. It is bullshit and it needs to stop.
Other than that, not too much that is noteworthy, around here. Life is day to day. I do my thing and get through. :)
So, WTF on The Biggest Loser? Sending Arthur home? Are those people on the red team that fucking stupid? Are they that easily led? They are still buying this "Your team is your family" bullshit. And they are still letting Justen lead them around by the nose and control the game. Wake up, people! Kaylee should have been sent home. Her percentage of weight loss is the lowest, week after week. She is closest to her goal. But the sheep just follow the evil, bearded shepherd and baaa-baaa as he tells them how to live, how to vote, how to feel. They deserve what is coming to them. Steady annihilation at the hands of Roulon and Justen. I really need to lower my expectations and just stop thinking that these people get it.
Oh well. Why do I give a shit? Seriously. If these people are willing to be lead around by the nose, that is their problem. Not mine.
Lordy. I have to pee, again. :P
Monday, February 28, 2011
Just Quick Like
Last day of February. Thank heaven. I am hopeful that March brings Spring. I am sick of the cold, snow and Winter in general. The goundhog promised an early Spring. If that little fucker lied, I have a stew pot with his name on it.
Food and water good. Meds and vitamins down. My house is cleaned up, I just need to do some laundry, which I will get to a little later.
Head is beginning to bang. Urgh!
Willy Dog was up tossing his cookies last night. He looked like death warmed over when he left for work, this morning. I suggested that he might want to stay home but he insisted on going in. Whatever. I am not his mama. He knows how he feels and it is his choice.
Pookey had that one day shit and puke thing. Now Willy Dog. I have a nasty, sinking feeling I might be next in line. Please, God, don't let me get this. PleaseGoddon'tletmegetthis!!!
Okay, I need to get that laundry started. I feel as if that is all I do, lately. Pile stuff into the washer, into the dryer. Haul it all up and down the stairs. Then do the same thing the next day.
Okay, off my ass and get to it.
Food and water good. Meds and vitamins down. My house is cleaned up, I just need to do some laundry, which I will get to a little later.
Head is beginning to bang. Urgh!
Willy Dog was up tossing his cookies last night. He looked like death warmed over when he left for work, this morning. I suggested that he might want to stay home but he insisted on going in. Whatever. I am not his mama. He knows how he feels and it is his choice.
Pookey had that one day shit and puke thing. Now Willy Dog. I have a nasty, sinking feeling I might be next in line. Please, God, don't let me get this. PleaseGoddon'tletmegetthis!!!
Okay, I need to get that laundry started. I feel as if that is all I do, lately. Pile stuff into the washer, into the dryer. Haul it all up and down the stairs. Then do the same thing the next day.
Okay, off my ass and get to it.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Moar Snow
It started raining, last night. I could hear it, now and again and it made me feel all happy, peaceful and ready to sleep. When I woke up this morning it was still raining and all was right in my little world. Until I started doing my nails after my shower late this morning. I was sitting at my dressing table down in my room, applying a teabag patch to my right pinkie finger nail when I glanced up and out my window and discovered much to my horror that it was snowing. The temperature had dropped and the white stuff was dumping down. Hard and furious. It kept up until just a few minutes ago. The sun is trying to break through. I hope this means that the snow is over and will melt away soon.
This Winter I have made a discovery. I hate snow. Seriously. Hate. It.
Oh, it's pretty to look at but it is such a pain in the ass to live with and frankly, I don't want the bother of it. I hate being trapped on this hillside because the driveway is too dangerous to traverse. I hate the cold and I am ready to move to say... Hawaii, if anyone knows of a nice little house in my price range I could rent. Something close to the shore, but away from too touristy areas... Close to or in a large-ish city, open to the trade winds, a hop, skip and a jump from Kilauea. Yes, I am a bit of a lava junkie. And no, I don't think I am asking for too much. lol
So, I got on my scale. 295. Stuck. Totally my own fault. I know why and I am not blaming the DDY plan, this was my doing. And I am rectifying it. Yes, I am struggling a bit. I'll work through it. A challenge is a bad time to have your head go all to hell on you but it is what it is. I am not saying it is acceptable and I am not making excuses or serving up bullshit. I am just coming clean. Being accountable and plugging on. I am not giving up. I hope that my fellow challengers don't give up on me.
Willy Dog is on call this weekend and because of the snow all hell is breaking loose. He has been on the phone and running around since early this morning and it isn't letting up, yet. He is pissed. But resigned. I am delighted. Overtime is his friend and we could use the money. I have a head of hair that is in desperate need of a trip to a salon. :D
Oh noes! It is snowing again. Waaahhh...
This Winter I have made a discovery. I hate snow. Seriously. Hate. It.
Oh, it's pretty to look at but it is such a pain in the ass to live with and frankly, I don't want the bother of it. I hate being trapped on this hillside because the driveway is too dangerous to traverse. I hate the cold and I am ready to move to say... Hawaii, if anyone knows of a nice little house in my price range I could rent. Something close to the shore, but away from too touristy areas... Close to or in a large-ish city, open to the trade winds, a hop, skip and a jump from Kilauea. Yes, I am a bit of a lava junkie. And no, I don't think I am asking for too much. lol
So, I got on my scale. 295. Stuck. Totally my own fault. I know why and I am not blaming the DDY plan, this was my doing. And I am rectifying it. Yes, I am struggling a bit. I'll work through it. A challenge is a bad time to have your head go all to hell on you but it is what it is. I am not saying it is acceptable and I am not making excuses or serving up bullshit. I am just coming clean. Being accountable and plugging on. I am not giving up. I hope that my fellow challengers don't give up on me.
Willy Dog is on call this weekend and because of the snow all hell is breaking loose. He has been on the phone and running around since early this morning and it isn't letting up, yet. He is pissed. But resigned. I am delighted. Overtime is his friend and we could use the money. I have a head of hair that is in desperate need of a trip to a salon. :D
Oh noes! It is snowing again. Waaahhh...
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Honestly, Sherry... It Freaked Me Out!
Seriously.
I don't normally sleep much past six or six-thirty. By that time, my bladder is crying to be emptied, the dog wants to go out (Willy Dog does that) the cat wants attention... So sleeping any later just doesn't normally work all that well. lol
So, yesterday. Was a bad day. I had a major food freakout. I ended up in front of my pantry cabinet with a big can of Pic Nik sticks in one hand, shoveling them as fast as I could with the other into my mouth. I was just shoving, chewing, swallowing and repeating until half a can was gone.
What. The. Fuck?
It felt desperate. Crazy. Bad. Sick. Weird. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't shut it down. I heard my brain screaming at me to stop. I wanted to stop. I needed to stop but I physically couldn't stop. Until I reached a point where I could. I was, for that time, utterly out of control. I was crazed in my determination to cram as much of those nasty fried potato sticks into my mouth as I could, as fast as I could and for as long as I felt I could get away with it.
In-fucking-sane.
Yeah.
I am not beating myself up over it. I am very mindful that I did some damage. And my number on the scale will reflect it on Sunday. I am puffed up like a poisoned rat, thanks to all the salt. And I feel like an abject failure. I am working though it all and I will carry on.
Food is much better, today. I am on track. Water is going down nicely. I will end the day over my quota. I worked out hard on my glider. Three miles, seventy minutes. Hopefully, I burned enough calories to help atone for my insanity, yesterday. Maybe Willy Dog will be in the mood to run out to the lake, when he gets home from work. A walk would be good. Burn a few extra calories and give me a chance to blow the shit out of my head and breathe some fresh air.
So folks, there you have it. I struggle, still. I wish I had the fortitude and the balls to never cheat. To never eat what I am not supposed to. To never find myself in front of my pantry, mind screaming, shoving food into my mouth like some person possessed. But alas, I don't. I strive for it. But I fall far short. I am not good enough, it seems. I am weak. I am flawed.
I wish I were perfect.
Really.
I do.
Life would be so much easier.
It is cooler, today. Kind of windy and partly cloudy. The promised rain is not coming down. It might, tomorrow. I am not holding my breath.
I think I'll give my husband a shout and see if he wants to go to the lake. If he does, I'll go get into my walk clothes and lace on my walking shoes. The more I think about it, the more I really do need to get out there.
Later, lovies.
I don't normally sleep much past six or six-thirty. By that time, my bladder is crying to be emptied, the dog wants to go out (Willy Dog does that) the cat wants attention... So sleeping any later just doesn't normally work all that well. lol
So, yesterday. Was a bad day. I had a major food freakout. I ended up in front of my pantry cabinet with a big can of Pic Nik sticks in one hand, shoveling them as fast as I could with the other into my mouth. I was just shoving, chewing, swallowing and repeating until half a can was gone.
What. The. Fuck?
It felt desperate. Crazy. Bad. Sick. Weird. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't shut it down. I heard my brain screaming at me to stop. I wanted to stop. I needed to stop but I physically couldn't stop. Until I reached a point where I could. I was, for that time, utterly out of control. I was crazed in my determination to cram as much of those nasty fried potato sticks into my mouth as I could, as fast as I could and for as long as I felt I could get away with it.
In-fucking-sane.
Yeah.
I am not beating myself up over it. I am very mindful that I did some damage. And my number on the scale will reflect it on Sunday. I am puffed up like a poisoned rat, thanks to all the salt. And I feel like an abject failure. I am working though it all and I will carry on.
Food is much better, today. I am on track. Water is going down nicely. I will end the day over my quota. I worked out hard on my glider. Three miles, seventy minutes. Hopefully, I burned enough calories to help atone for my insanity, yesterday. Maybe Willy Dog will be in the mood to run out to the lake, when he gets home from work. A walk would be good. Burn a few extra calories and give me a chance to blow the shit out of my head and breathe some fresh air.
So folks, there you have it. I struggle, still. I wish I had the fortitude and the balls to never cheat. To never eat what I am not supposed to. To never find myself in front of my pantry, mind screaming, shoving food into my mouth like some person possessed. But alas, I don't. I strive for it. But I fall far short. I am not good enough, it seems. I am weak. I am flawed.
I wish I were perfect.
Really.
I do.
Life would be so much easier.
It is cooler, today. Kind of windy and partly cloudy. The promised rain is not coming down. It might, tomorrow. I am not holding my breath.
I think I'll give my husband a shout and see if he wants to go to the lake. If he does, I'll go get into my walk clothes and lace on my walking shoes. The more I think about it, the more I really do need to get out there.
Later, lovies.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Lost in a Time Warp
Yesterday totally got away from me and went by in a flash. I got things done but didn't get much extra done or spend much time online. It was just a weird day. Kind of otherworldly
Yesterday wasn't a good day, food wise. I ended up at nearly 1500 calories. And didn't get all of my water. I was just careless and not paying attention. (Not whining to make you mental, Allen... ;) :P Just being accountable.) Shows to go me that I still have a shit load of work to do on myself and lessons to learn. Ongoing process. Maybe one day I will finally get it all right. lol My food is good, today and my water is going down as planned, as well. This will be a better day.
I don't get why I am struggling so much and so resistant. I am just going to have to work it out. My success and health are too important to not get this right.
On Sunday I decided that I wanted to take the downstairs master suite for myself and kick Pookey upstairs to the room I was inhabiting. I can now get up and down the stairs easily and decided that I wanted more space. And that big closet! Not to mention my own bathroom. Sharing one with a husband is bad for a marriage. Having my space downstairs also gives me a little much needed distance. A place where I can spread out a little and have my own time without thinking about the house, others persons in it and all of what I have to do on a daily basis. It is working out very nicely.
The switch wasn't without it's hitches. Moving Pookey's furniture up the stairs and mine down was a lot of work for the boyz. When they were bringing my dresser down, I heard them coming down the stairs with it and peeked out my door and there they are, nearly at the bottom and my dresser was upside down! And they didn't even notice. lol Wow, such observant men I have, here. lol It was no biggie, as all that was in there is clothes. They just got tossed around and disorganized. I thought it was funny that they didn't see it, tho.
One thing that wasn't so funny was when I tried to take an armful of stuff down the stairs. I had a big basket with no handles full of stuff with some hangars balanced on top and my old HP lappie in a computer bag over my shoulder and was about to head down when I lost my balance. The basket and it's contents went flying, everything tumbling down the stairs. I thought, for one horrifying moment I was going to follow it but luckily I fell backward and landed hard on my ass. I gave my back a good, hard jarring and I was a bit sore, yesterday. My back feels better, today. Now, to let my knees adjust. They are griping a little but they are getting better, too. Going up and down those stairs so much is turning out to be really good for me. And I am adjusting to carrying loads up and down, too. No more falls. I should be a Sherpa, soon. :D
We are having a little bit of very lovely Springlike weather before the next storm comes barreling in later this week. Highs in the upper sixties, near seventy. Brilliantly sunny, soft breezes. Nice. The storm is supposed to bring rain. It had better just be rain! Snow... Do. Not. Want!
My washing machine is beginning to make strange noises on some cycles. So is my dryer. Lord, please don't let them break down anytime soon. That is not an expense I need at this point and time. Gah!
Okay, I have laundry going, I need to dust, vacuum my broadloom and do a few other things and I need a shower. I also need to make some time to do my nails and catch up with blogs.
Oh. I did a strand test to see if I could lighten my hair. Fail! It is just too dark and resistant. Long gone are the days when I could slop a box of dye on it and get perfect, shimmering blonde. It is time to go to a good salon and put my tresses in the hands of an expert colourist. I want my hair coloured but I just don't have the expertise to safely and successfully lighten and tone it on my own. Touch ups are tricky when you double process (and a huge pain in the ass, to boot!) and I don't want to screw it up and destroy my hair. Been there, done that, don't want to grow out yet another disaster. Besides, it would be nice to go in and have my hair done and get a little pampering on a regular basis.
Okay, must run. Stuff to get done. I'll catch all you fine folk later.
Yesterday wasn't a good day, food wise. I ended up at nearly 1500 calories. And didn't get all of my water. I was just careless and not paying attention. (Not whining to make you mental, Allen... ;) :P Just being accountable.) Shows to go me that I still have a shit load of work to do on myself and lessons to learn. Ongoing process. Maybe one day I will finally get it all right. lol My food is good, today and my water is going down as planned, as well. This will be a better day.
I don't get why I am struggling so much and so resistant. I am just going to have to work it out. My success and health are too important to not get this right.
On Sunday I decided that I wanted to take the downstairs master suite for myself and kick Pookey upstairs to the room I was inhabiting. I can now get up and down the stairs easily and decided that I wanted more space. And that big closet! Not to mention my own bathroom. Sharing one with a husband is bad for a marriage. Having my space downstairs also gives me a little much needed distance. A place where I can spread out a little and have my own time without thinking about the house, others persons in it and all of what I have to do on a daily basis. It is working out very nicely.
The switch wasn't without it's hitches. Moving Pookey's furniture up the stairs and mine down was a lot of work for the boyz. When they were bringing my dresser down, I heard them coming down the stairs with it and peeked out my door and there they are, nearly at the bottom and my dresser was upside down! And they didn't even notice. lol Wow, such observant men I have, here. lol It was no biggie, as all that was in there is clothes. They just got tossed around and disorganized. I thought it was funny that they didn't see it, tho.
One thing that wasn't so funny was when I tried to take an armful of stuff down the stairs. I had a big basket with no handles full of stuff with some hangars balanced on top and my old HP lappie in a computer bag over my shoulder and was about to head down when I lost my balance. The basket and it's contents went flying, everything tumbling down the stairs. I thought, for one horrifying moment I was going to follow it but luckily I fell backward and landed hard on my ass. I gave my back a good, hard jarring and I was a bit sore, yesterday. My back feels better, today. Now, to let my knees adjust. They are griping a little but they are getting better, too. Going up and down those stairs so much is turning out to be really good for me. And I am adjusting to carrying loads up and down, too. No more falls. I should be a Sherpa, soon. :D
We are having a little bit of very lovely Springlike weather before the next storm comes barreling in later this week. Highs in the upper sixties, near seventy. Brilliantly sunny, soft breezes. Nice. The storm is supposed to bring rain. It had better just be rain! Snow... Do. Not. Want!
My washing machine is beginning to make strange noises on some cycles. So is my dryer. Lord, please don't let them break down anytime soon. That is not an expense I need at this point and time. Gah!
Okay, I have laundry going, I need to dust, vacuum my broadloom and do a few other things and I need a shower. I also need to make some time to do my nails and catch up with blogs.
Oh. I did a strand test to see if I could lighten my hair. Fail! It is just too dark and resistant. Long gone are the days when I could slop a box of dye on it and get perfect, shimmering blonde. It is time to go to a good salon and put my tresses in the hands of an expert colourist. I want my hair coloured but I just don't have the expertise to safely and successfully lighten and tone it on my own. Touch ups are tricky when you double process (and a huge pain in the ass, to boot!) and I don't want to screw it up and destroy my hair. Been there, done that, don't want to grow out yet another disaster. Besides, it would be nice to go in and have my hair done and get a little pampering on a regular basis.
Okay, must run. Stuff to get done. I'll catch all you fine folk later.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Time Keeps on Spinning, Spinning, Spinning, Into the Future
Hello all. Don't know where the time went, yesterday. One minute I am thinking about typing up an entry and the next, I got distracted and poof! It is this morning. lol
Weird how that works, eh?
Yesterday's ultrasound went well. I was in, registered (we did most of it over the phone, so she just had to print and I had to sign, when I got there) and then whisked into the room for the test all before I could open my book. Impressive. Usually, you are kept waiting around forevah! I hope that it goes as fast and smooth when I go in for my Hida Scan on the 25th.
Drink your damned water, Erika. I am a little behind on the water slurping, right now. Need to get to it. I got a little lazy about it when I had the 'flu and that sore throat. Well, I am recovering from that 'flu and my throat isn't sore anymore so... No excuses. Just slurping. lol
I am feeling so much more human, this morning. My voice is almost back to normal, my throat feels nearly perfect, again, I am coughing a lot less, the horrid, constant rattling is gone (thank God!) my beak isn't as stuffed. I have more energy and I am merely coughing after exertion, rather than hacking up a lung. Progress, indeed. I don't wish this 'flu on anyone. It was miserable. And I just want to feel healthy, again.
Food and water were on track, yesterday. I ended up going over by 50 calories... My dinner prep got a little waya from me, I underestimated calories while cooking. *hangs head* Need to be a little more careful. I don't like breaking my 1200 cap. Once I shake this stupid cough, I can start walking, again. Heaven knows, the weather around here will be nice for it. Upper fifties, even a few forays into sixty or above. Pretty nice for Winter. :D
Sunday is weigh in day already. I am interested to see how much more is gone. I like seeing those numbers steadily dropping. 'Tis a pretty, pretty sight.
Okay, I am getting hungry so I think I will toss a little late brekkie together. And I want to read blogs and see what you all are up to.
Weird how that works, eh?
Yesterday's ultrasound went well. I was in, registered (we did most of it over the phone, so she just had to print and I had to sign, when I got there) and then whisked into the room for the test all before I could open my book. Impressive. Usually, you are kept waiting around forevah! I hope that it goes as fast and smooth when I go in for my Hida Scan on the 25th.
Drink your damned water, Erika. I am a little behind on the water slurping, right now. Need to get to it. I got a little lazy about it when I had the 'flu and that sore throat. Well, I am recovering from that 'flu and my throat isn't sore anymore so... No excuses. Just slurping. lol
I am feeling so much more human, this morning. My voice is almost back to normal, my throat feels nearly perfect, again, I am coughing a lot less, the horrid, constant rattling is gone (thank God!) my beak isn't as stuffed. I have more energy and I am merely coughing after exertion, rather than hacking up a lung. Progress, indeed. I don't wish this 'flu on anyone. It was miserable. And I just want to feel healthy, again.
Food and water were on track, yesterday. I ended up going over by 50 calories... My dinner prep got a little waya from me, I underestimated calories while cooking. *hangs head* Need to be a little more careful. I don't like breaking my 1200 cap. Once I shake this stupid cough, I can start walking, again. Heaven knows, the weather around here will be nice for it. Upper fifties, even a few forays into sixty or above. Pretty nice for Winter. :D
Sunday is weigh in day already. I am interested to see how much more is gone. I like seeing those numbers steadily dropping. 'Tis a pretty, pretty sight.
Okay, I am getting hungry so I think I will toss a little late brekkie together. And I want to read blogs and see what you all are up to.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
It's Over!
Another Christmas is in the books. I can relax a little, let my guard down and know that I no longer have to ride the "It's the holidays and I can eat anything I want, because it is" monster, anymore. New Year's Eve doesn't count. We are such party animals on that night. I always have soup and toast for dinner that night, we watch the ball drop in New York and we are all out like lights, snoring, long before Midnight, local time. So no worries, there. lol
I finished yesterday at 1900 calories and four+ quarts of water down. I intended to land in a lower calorie range. I allowed myself to snack a bit and forgot to log as I did and the pretzels got a little out of hand. That big mug of sugar free cocoa doctored with some fat free 1/2 and 1/2 and a little Redi-Whip didn't help. :P
*sigh*
Idiot.
Anyhoozle...
Moving on,
I love my Christmas decorations and never take them down before New Year but today I have the insane urge to get it all down and put away. I won't, but I might do it on Wednesday. Pookey is off and can help me haul containers up and down and I can have everything but the outdoor lights down and packed away before Willy Dog gets home from work that day. Then next weekend, I can just concentrate on the Big Mid Winter Clean and Rearrange and not worry about taking down decorations, too. Something to think about.
I am mildly sore from yesterday's walk, but not too bad. I expected worse, considering how much I haven't been walking, lately. And I am pleased at how well I did, yesterday and how great I feel, today. I need to get out again, today. If Willy Dog's foot is hurting him too much, I'll just go by myself. Sissy girl, has a widdle blister.
I am so cold hearted. :P
Okay, I have to run. My water is making it's presence known in my bladder. I'll be back later to read any updated blogs.
I finished yesterday at 1900 calories and four+ quarts of water down. I intended to land in a lower calorie range. I allowed myself to snack a bit and forgot to log as I did and the pretzels got a little out of hand. That big mug of sugar free cocoa doctored with some fat free 1/2 and 1/2 and a little Redi-Whip didn't help. :P
*sigh*
Idiot.
Anyhoozle...
Moving on,
I love my Christmas decorations and never take them down before New Year but today I have the insane urge to get it all down and put away. I won't, but I might do it on Wednesday. Pookey is off and can help me haul containers up and down and I can have everything but the outdoor lights down and packed away before Willy Dog gets home from work that day. Then next weekend, I can just concentrate on the Big Mid Winter Clean and Rearrange and not worry about taking down decorations, too. Something to think about.
I am mildly sore from yesterday's walk, but not too bad. I expected worse, considering how much I haven't been walking, lately. And I am pleased at how well I did, yesterday and how great I feel, today. I need to get out again, today. If Willy Dog's foot is hurting him too much, I'll just go by myself. Sissy girl, has a widdle blister.
I am so cold hearted. :P
Okay, I have to run. My water is making it's presence known in my bladder. I'll be back later to read any updated blogs.
Friday, December 24, 2010
One Pound?
That's it? Down one to 308.4 this morning.
Pfffft!
Not pleased with myself.
Oh well. As Willy Dog says, a one pound loss is better than gaining a pound. He is right. This time, last year I certainly wasn't losing a pound. I was chowing down on fudge, cookies, rich foods, boxes of chocolates. Did you know that a box of chocolates has like 11,000 calories? Horrifying, isn't it? No wonder I weighed 400+ pounds. Again. Damn. If I hadn't lost a nice pile of weight in 2008, I would have been closer to 500 pounds. Looking back, I can't believe it. Actually, I can. It is simple facts. But it freaks me out.
It is clear and cold. My realm was all covered in frost and my breath puffed out in clouds of steam when I put Sabryna out this morning. Our storm is moving east and there are a lot of people getting all of our snow. Enjoy your white Christmas, you storm thieves. *sniff*
Speaking of Christmas...
*** Merry Christmas! ***
Pookey is sick, this morning, He overdosed on tacos in the break room yesterday at work, ate Taco Bell for a late dinner last night and he is spending all of his time on the toilet, this morning, Poor thing. A few Pepto tablets and he should be fine. I doubt it will teach him, tho. lol
I have proof that there are lovely people in the world. Yesterday, while Pookey was out gathering carts at work, a man in a very nice pickup pulled up next to him, rolled down his window and called him over. Pookey, thinking he needed directions or other help went up to his vehicle and asked how he could help him. The man just smiled, said "Merry Christmas" and handed Pookey a fifty dollar Target gift card, rolled up his window and pulled away. What a sweet, generous random act of kindness.
I am going to drink my second cup of coffee and get started glugging water. Have a beautiful day, everyone.
Pfffft!
Not pleased with myself.
Oh well. As Willy Dog says, a one pound loss is better than gaining a pound. He is right. This time, last year I certainly wasn't losing a pound. I was chowing down on fudge, cookies, rich foods, boxes of chocolates. Did you know that a box of chocolates has like 11,000 calories? Horrifying, isn't it? No wonder I weighed 400+ pounds. Again. Damn. If I hadn't lost a nice pile of weight in 2008, I would have been closer to 500 pounds. Looking back, I can't believe it. Actually, I can. It is simple facts. But it freaks me out.
It is clear and cold. My realm was all covered in frost and my breath puffed out in clouds of steam when I put Sabryna out this morning. Our storm is moving east and there are a lot of people getting all of our snow. Enjoy your white Christmas, you storm thieves. *sniff*
Speaking of Christmas...
*** Merry Christmas! ***
Pookey is sick, this morning, He overdosed on tacos in the break room yesterday at work, ate Taco Bell for a late dinner last night and he is spending all of his time on the toilet, this morning, Poor thing. A few Pepto tablets and he should be fine. I doubt it will teach him, tho. lol
I have proof that there are lovely people in the world. Yesterday, while Pookey was out gathering carts at work, a man in a very nice pickup pulled up next to him, rolled down his window and called him over. Pookey, thinking he needed directions or other help went up to his vehicle and asked how he could help him. The man just smiled, said "Merry Christmas" and handed Pookey a fifty dollar Target gift card, rolled up his window and pulled away. What a sweet, generous random act of kindness.
I am going to drink my second cup of coffee and get started glugging water. Have a beautiful day, everyone.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Obesogenes?
Are we buying this shit?
Look, I get that pesticides and sugar and HFCS are not good for us. Certain chemicals can be harmful to our bodies. Sugar, especially in large quantities cause weight gain, no question. But, do chemicals, dubbed Obesogens by some "experts" cause us to gain weight? Can we really blame chemicals and sugars for the change in our very way of thinking? Can we place at the doorsteps of these substances our bad behaviours and weight gain? Do chemicals and sugars actually go in and change us?
Are plastic containers making us fat? Are nonstick pans so profoundly damaging us that we are getting bigger and bigger? Is my nail polish causing me to not burn fat?
I'm not buying it. Not entirely. As I have said before, many chemicals and too much sugar are doubtless harmful but I don't think that it is healthy or smart to blame chemicals and sugar for the changes in our thinking, our behaviours. I blame myself. I allowed myself to abuse food as a reaction to external stressors. Plastic water bottles, HFCS and nail polish didn't make me do this. I made me do this.
Blaming chemicals and sugar for our obesity, placing the blame for our lousy eating patterns on these substances is dangerous. It is the Twinkie Defense in a fat brown wrapper. And if it becomes widespread "wisdom" it is going to do a lot of harm.
I didn't eat very well, yesterday. In fact, I would guess that my calorie level was pretty shitty. And it wasn't because I use plastic containers in my microwave or wear nail polish. It is because I made bad food choices of my very own volition. And I am choosing to make better choices, today.
I try to cut down on nasty chemicals as much as I can and I am not eating near the amount of sugar and HFCS I used to consume. I believe that these steps will help to enhance my health. But they won't "cure" my obesity. Only I can do this, by eating right, exercising, hydrating and working on the way my head and body work together.
I didn't eat as I should have, yesterday but I did get my water in. I didn't consume enough calories to gain weight. But I certainly did have enough to put a dent in my progress. I still have a lot of work to do. And I still have to repeat the lesson to myself that food isn't a drug, comfort, a friend, a lover or a way to amuse myself. It is fuel. Full stop. And to use it for any other purpose is abuse of myself, disrespect of who I am as a person and just plain stupid.
Obesogenes notwithstanding.
I have a load of laundry in the dryer and my house is clean. I got to polish furniture, this morning. Wheee! Sooo much fun, eh? It is chilly, cloudy and rainy, still. Tho it will be clearing my Friday and it is supposed to be sunny and sixty degrees on Christmas. Nice. The damned storm couldn't wait a couple of days, give us some clouds on Christmas, for a change? I am so sick of sunny Christmas days, I want rain, snow and nastiness. And I want it this year! *stamps foot and flounces off*
Okay, I need to wrap this borefest up, now. I have to pee and I want to read what you are all up to.
Later, dearlings.
Look, I get that pesticides and sugar and HFCS are not good for us. Certain chemicals can be harmful to our bodies. Sugar, especially in large quantities cause weight gain, no question. But, do chemicals, dubbed Obesogens by some "experts" cause us to gain weight? Can we really blame chemicals and sugars for the change in our very way of thinking? Can we place at the doorsteps of these substances our bad behaviours and weight gain? Do chemicals and sugars actually go in and change us?
Are plastic containers making us fat? Are nonstick pans so profoundly damaging us that we are getting bigger and bigger? Is my nail polish causing me to not burn fat?
I'm not buying it. Not entirely. As I have said before, many chemicals and too much sugar are doubtless harmful but I don't think that it is healthy or smart to blame chemicals and sugar for the changes in our thinking, our behaviours. I blame myself. I allowed myself to abuse food as a reaction to external stressors. Plastic water bottles, HFCS and nail polish didn't make me do this. I made me do this.
Blaming chemicals and sugar for our obesity, placing the blame for our lousy eating patterns on these substances is dangerous. It is the Twinkie Defense in a fat brown wrapper. And if it becomes widespread "wisdom" it is going to do a lot of harm.
I didn't eat very well, yesterday. In fact, I would guess that my calorie level was pretty shitty. And it wasn't because I use plastic containers in my microwave or wear nail polish. It is because I made bad food choices of my very own volition. And I am choosing to make better choices, today.
I try to cut down on nasty chemicals as much as I can and I am not eating near the amount of sugar and HFCS I used to consume. I believe that these steps will help to enhance my health. But they won't "cure" my obesity. Only I can do this, by eating right, exercising, hydrating and working on the way my head and body work together.
I didn't eat as I should have, yesterday but I did get my water in. I didn't consume enough calories to gain weight. But I certainly did have enough to put a dent in my progress. I still have a lot of work to do. And I still have to repeat the lesson to myself that food isn't a drug, comfort, a friend, a lover or a way to amuse myself. It is fuel. Full stop. And to use it for any other purpose is abuse of myself, disrespect of who I am as a person and just plain stupid.
Obesogenes notwithstanding.
I have a load of laundry in the dryer and my house is clean. I got to polish furniture, this morning. Wheee! Sooo much fun, eh? It is chilly, cloudy and rainy, still. Tho it will be clearing my Friday and it is supposed to be sunny and sixty degrees on Christmas. Nice. The damned storm couldn't wait a couple of days, give us some clouds on Christmas, for a change? I am so sick of sunny Christmas days, I want rain, snow and nastiness. And I want it this year! *stamps foot and flounces off*
Okay, I need to wrap this borefest up, now. I have to pee and I want to read what you are all up to.
Later, dearlings.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Teakettle Found
Willy Dog found me a nice teakettle at, of all places, Fry's. It is a Kitchen Aid, red enamel, 1.5 quart, great whistle and the flipper lifter thingy in the handle so that I don't burn my little feenors. It was on sale and he got a discount because Pookey works at that store, so it was a good deal, too. I am happily boiling and pouring, once again and a little thing is right in my realm.
Yesterday's calories were acceptable... 1545. Could have done better but not a disaster. I drank almost all of my water, too. I am riding the Puff Monster pretty hard, right now. *sigh* I am responsible for it... I didn't keep my feet up as much as I should have, let myself have a bit too much salt, again and slacked on my water a couple of days. So I am in scramble and slurp mode. I don't like the Puff Monster. I dislike being puffy. I want the puff to go away. I think that getting more weight off will help. Lord, I hope it will help. I'll tell ya, I am at the point where I am thinking about talking to a doc about water pills. And I am not big on taking stuff. But if water pills would banish the bloat, I would be ready to change that.
Call the waaahmbulance. I am whiny, today. :P
I am going to make spaghetti squash with meatless "meat" sauce for dinner for Pookey and me. Willy Dog will make Icky Willy Chili. Gag me. How he can eat that shit is far beyond me. *shudder*
Okay, housework is done up and the rest of the day is mine. My big plan for the day is to hang out, cruise the webz and take a shower, later. I also need to keep searching for foundation. If primer doesn't solve my current issues with mineral foundation, I am going to have to find a liquid or creme. Something affordable, fair, neutral, buildable medium coverage that is weightless and I can't feel on my skin, gives a smooth, poreless finish and is moisturising and most important, doesn't contain even a hint of chemical sunscreen. There are plenty that may meet those criteria, except for being affordable. Fifty plus dollars in my book isn't affordable and everything available in the drugstores is full of sunblock. Gah!
I'll find something. It is out there. I just need to kiss a few frogs on my way to the HG.
Thank the Goddess that blogger automatically saves everything we write as we write it .I accidentally smoothed my hand across my touch pad and all of a sudden I am on my dashboard and my post is gone. Yikes1 I thought for a second that I had lost all my babbling and ranting and whining. And that would have been a true shame, indeed.
Okay, so I think I am done blathering, for the moment.
Yesterday's calories were acceptable... 1545. Could have done better but not a disaster. I drank almost all of my water, too. I am riding the Puff Monster pretty hard, right now. *sigh* I am responsible for it... I didn't keep my feet up as much as I should have, let myself have a bit too much salt, again and slacked on my water a couple of days. So I am in scramble and slurp mode. I don't like the Puff Monster. I dislike being puffy. I want the puff to go away. I think that getting more weight off will help. Lord, I hope it will help. I'll tell ya, I am at the point where I am thinking about talking to a doc about water pills. And I am not big on taking stuff. But if water pills would banish the bloat, I would be ready to change that.
Call the waaahmbulance. I am whiny, today. :P
I am going to make spaghetti squash with meatless "meat" sauce for dinner for Pookey and me. Willy Dog will make Icky Willy Chili. Gag me. How he can eat that shit is far beyond me. *shudder*
Okay, housework is done up and the rest of the day is mine. My big plan for the day is to hang out, cruise the webz and take a shower, later. I also need to keep searching for foundation. If primer doesn't solve my current issues with mineral foundation, I am going to have to find a liquid or creme. Something affordable, fair, neutral, buildable medium coverage that is weightless and I can't feel on my skin, gives a smooth, poreless finish and is moisturising and most important, doesn't contain even a hint of chemical sunscreen. There are plenty that may meet those criteria, except for being affordable. Fifty plus dollars in my book isn't affordable and everything available in the drugstores is full of sunblock. Gah!
I'll find something. It is out there. I just need to kiss a few frogs on my way to the HG.
Thank the Goddess that blogger automatically saves everything we write as we write it .I accidentally smoothed my hand across my touch pad and all of a sudden I am on my dashboard and my post is gone. Yikes1 I thought for a second that I had lost all my babbling and ranting and whining. And that would have been a true shame, indeed.
Okay, so I think I am done blathering, for the moment.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
BYOC is Back!
Never mind that I am a day late and a dollar short. I am so behind with my bloggy friends, right now that it is sad. And I am going to work hard today to catch up with all of you. In between trips to the bathroom (water! *blurp*) and loads of laundry.
1. It’s freaking Winter alright? Why then – may I ask – when driving home last night did I see not one, but two MEN – driving big “I’m a man with a small penis so I drive this HUGE truck with deer antlers on the front and playboy mud flaps and mufflers coming out of the box” trucks with their windows OPEN? Why do men do that?
Ah! The eternal question! I think that men just have to be "macho", show the little women that he is the capable, big hunter, the bringer of the food, the supplier of the superior genetic material. It is hard wired in their DNA. I also think that men tend to run a little hot blooded. My husband routinely drives around in his work truck in the dead of Winter, snow all around, with his A/C on.
Also, men are just weird and unexplainable. I stopped straining my brain over them a looong time ago. It isn't worth the pain. Oh! And thanks for the snotsicle visual. *gags and throws up brunch of eggs and mushrooms all over keyboard*
2. Is Richard Simmons gay? Is he straight? Has he ever come out? Does he have a lover?
I believe that Richard Simmons is gay. I can't say for certain; as far as I know, I have never heard or read a direct confirmation of his sexual orientation. I think that he has two very distinct lives. His public life and his private life and I don't think that he mixes the two very much. Perhaps he isn't "out" because of his fan base and fears that confirming his sexual orientation may alienate many of them? I don't really know. I am just shooting in the dark, here. I do hope that he has someone special in his life. I think that we should all have a loving wife/husband/significant other/partner... Whatever you want to call that person. For the record, it doesn't matter to me if he is gay or straight. He is a good hearted person. In my book, that is what matters.
3. What’s your favorite Cmas song?
That is a tough one. I adore Christmas music. But, if pinned down to one, it would have to be "O Holy Night". Preferably as performed by Luciano Pavarotti. I also love "Ding Dong Merrily on High", "Carol of the Bells", "Silent Night", "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"... I could go on and on. "I'll Be Home for Christmas" makes me cry. Because of my brother, who can't come home for Christmas.
4. What is your most favorite and your least favorite Cmas movie?
I am not a huge Christmas movie fiend. Weird, huh? Considering I like everything else about the holiday and season. Most Christmas themed movies annoy the snot out of me. "A Christmas Story"? Bah! Get it away from me. That family should have been nuked off the face of the planet. Same with that horrid Chevy Chase Christmas movie. *shudders* I loved "It's a Wonderful Life" the first thousand times I saw it. I am now thoroughly over it. I like "Scrooged" and I adore "The Shop Around the Corner". *Waits for three ghosts to show up.*
5. To all my corporate buddies out there….I have an important question. My brother is interviewing for jobs in the corporate world. He has an impeccable resume and good, long, stable job history with many impressive accomplishments. However – no bites after he interviews. He’s convinced they are checking his credit record – which is not great. Now I’ve heard places do that…but really how common is it? I mean I work in a place where our work is completely for the government and classified and export-controlled and deals with citizenship and such and we do NOT check credit scores. How prevalent is this – especially when the jobs he’s applying for are not even in the financial industry?
Okay, this is a HUGE hot button issue of mine. Credit checks are for lenders to determine whether or not they are going to issue credit or lend you money. PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Credit checks to determine whether a person is employable is discrimination of the nastiest, most insidious kind and it should not be tolerated. Ever. A person's credit score is not a reliable indicator of what kind of employee they will be. There are a lot of qualified, reliable, dependable, hard working, good honest people out there who will do a fabulous job with trashed out credit ratings. There are a lot of reasons someone's credit rating goes into the toilet. Often it is beyond that person's control. Life, the economy, a lying, sneaky spouse (hello! Ice Queen, table for one) got in the way and their credit suffered. That doesn't mean that they won't do a fabulous job. IMO, credit checks should be taken out of the equation when making hiring decisions.
Thank you Miz Draz for the great questions and discussion! :D
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
I am having a good day. My mind is in the game, my bod is soaked with water and good protein and I am feeling pretty damned good, again. I have to pee. BRB
Since I got myself back on track and started slurping incredible amounts of water, I feel so. Much. Better. I have banished much of the puff, I feel smaller, tighter, my clothes are a little looser. I am moving better, my joints feel more fluid, hell, my hips are not hurting as much and my knees feel a little better and are crackling less. Another fab side effect is that my irregularity (read constipation) seems to have corrected it's self, without chemical assistance. Imagine that.
Stupid, sneaky snacking is just stupid. Eating stuff I shouldn't just makes me puffy, sick to my stomach and unhappy. It binds me up, slows me down, makes my joints hurt and makes my spirit cry. It abuses me and punishes me. And I don't deserve any of that. I deserve to be nourished, nurtured and cared for. My body is my temple and deserves the best I can give it. I deserve the best I can give myself.
I am worthy.
And chilly! Some days, I have such a tough time warming up. Even tho it is freakishly warm for the time of year. Oh well. Shivering and working to warm ones self burns calories. Bring on the brrrr.
*glugglugglugglug*
Time to go get the clothes out of the dryer, toss in the smalls and start the towel load. Later, gators. <3
1. It’s freaking Winter alright? Why then – may I ask – when driving home last night did I see not one, but two MEN – driving big “I’m a man with a small penis so I drive this HUGE truck with deer antlers on the front and playboy mud flaps and mufflers coming out of the box” trucks with their windows OPEN? Why do men do that?
Ah! The eternal question! I think that men just have to be "macho", show the little women that he is the capable, big hunter, the bringer of the food, the supplier of the superior genetic material. It is hard wired in their DNA. I also think that men tend to run a little hot blooded. My husband routinely drives around in his work truck in the dead of Winter, snow all around, with his A/C on.
Also, men are just weird and unexplainable. I stopped straining my brain over them a looong time ago. It isn't worth the pain. Oh! And thanks for the snotsicle visual. *gags and throws up brunch of eggs and mushrooms all over keyboard*
2. Is Richard Simmons gay? Is he straight? Has he ever come out? Does he have a lover?
I believe that Richard Simmons is gay. I can't say for certain; as far as I know, I have never heard or read a direct confirmation of his sexual orientation. I think that he has two very distinct lives. His public life and his private life and I don't think that he mixes the two very much. Perhaps he isn't "out" because of his fan base and fears that confirming his sexual orientation may alienate many of them? I don't really know. I am just shooting in the dark, here. I do hope that he has someone special in his life. I think that we should all have a loving wife/husband/significant other/partner... Whatever you want to call that person. For the record, it doesn't matter to me if he is gay or straight. He is a good hearted person. In my book, that is what matters.
3. What’s your favorite Cmas song?
That is a tough one. I adore Christmas music. But, if pinned down to one, it would have to be "O Holy Night". Preferably as performed by Luciano Pavarotti. I also love "Ding Dong Merrily on High", "Carol of the Bells", "Silent Night", "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"... I could go on and on. "I'll Be Home for Christmas" makes me cry. Because of my brother, who can't come home for Christmas.
4. What is your most favorite and your least favorite Cmas movie?
I am not a huge Christmas movie fiend. Weird, huh? Considering I like everything else about the holiday and season. Most Christmas themed movies annoy the snot out of me. "A Christmas Story"? Bah! Get it away from me. That family should have been nuked off the face of the planet. Same with that horrid Chevy Chase Christmas movie. *shudders* I loved "It's a Wonderful Life" the first thousand times I saw it. I am now thoroughly over it. I like "Scrooged" and I adore "The Shop Around the Corner". *Waits for three ghosts to show up.*
5. To all my corporate buddies out there….I have an important question. My brother is interviewing for jobs in the corporate world. He has an impeccable resume and good, long, stable job history with many impressive accomplishments. However – no bites after he interviews. He’s convinced they are checking his credit record – which is not great. Now I’ve heard places do that…but really how common is it? I mean I work in a place where our work is completely for the government and classified and export-controlled and deals with citizenship and such and we do NOT check credit scores. How prevalent is this – especially when the jobs he’s applying for are not even in the financial industry?
Okay, this is a HUGE hot button issue of mine. Credit checks are for lenders to determine whether or not they are going to issue credit or lend you money. PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Credit checks to determine whether a person is employable is discrimination of the nastiest, most insidious kind and it should not be tolerated. Ever. A person's credit score is not a reliable indicator of what kind of employee they will be. There are a lot of qualified, reliable, dependable, hard working, good honest people out there who will do a fabulous job with trashed out credit ratings. There are a lot of reasons someone's credit rating goes into the toilet. Often it is beyond that person's control. Life, the economy, a lying, sneaky spouse (hello! Ice Queen, table for one) got in the way and their credit suffered. That doesn't mean that they won't do a fabulous job. IMO, credit checks should be taken out of the equation when making hiring decisions.
Thank you Miz Draz for the great questions and discussion! :D
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
I am having a good day. My mind is in the game, my bod is soaked with water and good protein and I am feeling pretty damned good, again. I have to pee. BRB
Since I got myself back on track and started slurping incredible amounts of water, I feel so. Much. Better. I have banished much of the puff, I feel smaller, tighter, my clothes are a little looser. I am moving better, my joints feel more fluid, hell, my hips are not hurting as much and my knees feel a little better and are crackling less. Another fab side effect is that my irregularity (read constipation) seems to have corrected it's self, without chemical assistance. Imagine that.
Stupid, sneaky snacking is just stupid. Eating stuff I shouldn't just makes me puffy, sick to my stomach and unhappy. It binds me up, slows me down, makes my joints hurt and makes my spirit cry. It abuses me and punishes me. And I don't deserve any of that. I deserve to be nourished, nurtured and cared for. My body is my temple and deserves the best I can give it. I deserve the best I can give myself.
I am worthy.
And chilly! Some days, I have such a tough time warming up. Even tho it is freakishly warm for the time of year. Oh well. Shivering and working to warm ones self burns calories. Bring on the brrrr.
*glugglugglugglug*
Time to go get the clothes out of the dryer, toss in the smalls and start the towel load. Later, gators. <3
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Floating Away
I am having trouble forming thoughts to post, so please bear with me. This is going to be a bumpy ride. Today is a good day. I am on track and drinking. A lot. Not just Crystal Light. Water. I don't dislike waster. It doesn't make me gag. I don't dread it. I need to drink more of it, plain. And today I am. And I am spending all of my time running to the bathroom.
I have been giving my reluctance to stay on track a lot of thought. I think that I am reacting to fear. I am filled with fear. I am also asking myself if this is all going to be worth it, in the end. I am feeling impatient, mad that I don't look much different. And I am pissed at myself for allowing my fear and worries to pull me off my chosen path. I am afraid of failure. And I am scared shitless that I will succeed. I fret that I have lost so much weight and still look the same, that I am still so. Fucking. Obese. And I feel overwhelmed and I allow the sheer magnitude of all of this to wash over me and I run to the pantry to shut my brain up.
Then I start the whole remorse, punishment, want to binge to make it all go away cycle. Happily, I don't have enough food around to binge on. But that doesn't meant I can't go off the rails a good bit. I decide enough is enough and I decide to do better. Then I do well for a day or two and fall all over myself, again. I fear that I am spiraling out of control, again. I am afraid that I will not be able to get back to my rhythm and I will go back to where I was. And I fear that, most of all. And the fear drives me to try to quiet it in the wrong ways. *sigh* And so it goes.
I am so sick of this bullshit. I am so over the cycle and the fear and the doubts. I want off this merry-go-round, now.
Please?
Today is better. I am drinking and calming down a little. And I am hopeful. I am not giving up. I refuse to allow it to happen.
Okay. Enough of this whining. Shutting up, now.
I have been giving my reluctance to stay on track a lot of thought. I think that I am reacting to fear. I am filled with fear. I am also asking myself if this is all going to be worth it, in the end. I am feeling impatient, mad that I don't look much different. And I am pissed at myself for allowing my fear and worries to pull me off my chosen path. I am afraid of failure. And I am scared shitless that I will succeed. I fret that I have lost so much weight and still look the same, that I am still so. Fucking. Obese. And I feel overwhelmed and I allow the sheer magnitude of all of this to wash over me and I run to the pantry to shut my brain up.
Then I start the whole remorse, punishment, want to binge to make it all go away cycle. Happily, I don't have enough food around to binge on. But that doesn't meant I can't go off the rails a good bit. I decide enough is enough and I decide to do better. Then I do well for a day or two and fall all over myself, again. I fear that I am spiraling out of control, again. I am afraid that I will not be able to get back to my rhythm and I will go back to where I was. And I fear that, most of all. And the fear drives me to try to quiet it in the wrong ways. *sigh* And so it goes.
I am so sick of this bullshit. I am so over the cycle and the fear and the doubts. I want off this merry-go-round, now.
Please?
Today is better. I am drinking and calming down a little. And I am hopeful. I am not giving up. I refuse to allow it to happen.
Okay. Enough of this whining. Shutting up, now.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I Got This
Hello chickens. :D How's everyone?
I am well and I am feeling pretty good about things. Another good day is in the books. If I choose to have my before bed sugar free cocoa, I will end the day just under 1400 calories. Right on target. :D I came in at 1150, yesterday.
Seems that a good, hard shake was exactly what I needed. And, knowing that my "fatter" clothes are now gone has served to make the fire under my ass a little hotter. lol Which isn't a bad thing. I need a little hotter ass, don'tcha think?
I could definitely stand to have it smaller.
Brrr... It is cold, here. It was all frosty and icy, this morning and I am sitting here, all cold and wanting to turn on my fireplace. But my husband would scream bloody murder if I do. He runs hot. And he hates it when I have any heat on. That nut job likes to run the A/C in his work truck when it is snowing. Insane. Maybe I'll go put on a fleece. I need to run and pee... I could grab a warmie, at the same time.
Stupid overheated husband, anyway...
I need to finish shopping for Thanksgiving, tomorrow. Just have a little more stuff to grab and get a few other things to just eat. After all, Thanksgiving dinner is only one meal, and since I am not cooking to have a bunch of leftovers, it is just one meal. Not The Once and Future Meal.
Oh, golly, am I not clever? :P
Geeze! I'm cold. My little choppers are actually chattering.
That's better. I am a little warmer, now.
Stupid, overheated husband, anyway...
I am well and I am feeling pretty good about things. Another good day is in the books. If I choose to have my before bed sugar free cocoa, I will end the day just under 1400 calories. Right on target. :D I came in at 1150, yesterday.
Seems that a good, hard shake was exactly what I needed. And, knowing that my "fatter" clothes are now gone has served to make the fire under my ass a little hotter. lol Which isn't a bad thing. I need a little hotter ass, don'tcha think?
I could definitely stand to have it smaller.
Brrr... It is cold, here. It was all frosty and icy, this morning and I am sitting here, all cold and wanting to turn on my fireplace. But my husband would scream bloody murder if I do. He runs hot. And he hates it when I have any heat on. That nut job likes to run the A/C in his work truck when it is snowing. Insane. Maybe I'll go put on a fleece. I need to run and pee... I could grab a warmie, at the same time.
Stupid overheated husband, anyway...
I need to finish shopping for Thanksgiving, tomorrow. Just have a little more stuff to grab and get a few other things to just eat. After all, Thanksgiving dinner is only one meal, and since I am not cooking to have a bunch of leftovers, it is just one meal. Not The Once and Future Meal.
Oh, golly, am I not clever? :P
Geeze! I'm cold. My little choppers are actually chattering.
That's better. I am a little warmer, now.
Stupid, overheated husband, anyway...
Monday, November 22, 2010
Doing Better
I think I just needed to grab myself by the scruff of the neck and give myself a little shake. I am doing much better, today. I feel calmer, more in control and not freaking myself out and letting stupid thoughts talk me into bad for me actions.
Thank you all so. much! for your support and encouragement and ass kicking and just being here, whether you comment or not. You are all my lifeline. And I couldn't do this, as well as I am without all of you. <3 <3 <3
Well, I took a step past the point of no return, today. I cleared out some of the 5X and 6X tops out of my closet, five of them and offered them on Freecycle. I received five replies, but one lady's e-mail really touched me. So much so that I decided to offer her one of my fleece jackets and a pair of stretch denim pants, as well. I think she will probably accept the additional items. I just wish I had more to shre with her, right now because I think that she really needs these things.
Anyway, the step past the point of no return is that I have a pair of identical pants a couple of sizes smaller to the pair I offered to this gal. I discovered the other day that much to my delight that they now fit me. (I haven't worn those pants in years.) So I am wearing them out and about and the larger pants were just hanging in my closet, taking up a much needed for other stuff hangar. If the gal to whom I offered the larger pants accepts them, they will be gone. Forever. No going back. No safety fatter pants. No fallback. I am committed to staying on track, because going heavier will not be an option. I won't have anything to cover my arse, if I do.
Incentive, indeed. People don't need to be seeing my bare arse. Waaay too much cottage cheese action, going on back there. Not a pretty sight. lol Besides, it is Winter-ish. I would freeze my ass off. And, I might not like the size of my ass, right now but I still kinda need it. It has a job to do. :P
Day after tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, here in the states. Do all of my fellow turkey gobbling Americans have your Thanksgiving plans firmed up? Your calorie coping strategies in place? Healthy options ready to place on your table, or pack up to haul over the river and through the woods so that you can get through the day the best way you can? I do. And I am looking forward to the holiday. I will have both of my guys here and I have kitteh treats for Marley and a huge Ultimate Busy Bone as a Thanksgiving treat for Sabryna. It is going to be just the five of us, this year. A quiet, laid back, easy day, for a change. I love and enjoy the all day cookathon and I love, love, love to entertain and have company but a more intimate holiday will be a lovely, welcome respite. :D
Oh, speaking of Sabryna... She is feeling fine. She has always had a goosey tummy, has always been prone to tossing her cookies. It is a pain in the ass and gross, in the extreme. But it is how she rolls. She actually knows to ask to be put outside when she feels as if she is going to hurl and most of the time, I can get her outside before she blows. But I was asleep, when she was sick, this morning so she had no choice but to lose it all over my floor. Poor baby girl. I know that she didn't want to barf in the house.
Now, if I could just teach Marley to hack up his frakking hairballs in his litter box, instead of under my dressing table or my bed... :P
Thank you all so. much! for your support and encouragement and ass kicking and just being here, whether you comment or not. You are all my lifeline. And I couldn't do this, as well as I am without all of you. <3 <3 <3
Well, I took a step past the point of no return, today. I cleared out some of the 5X and 6X tops out of my closet, five of them and offered them on Freecycle. I received five replies, but one lady's e-mail really touched me. So much so that I decided to offer her one of my fleece jackets and a pair of stretch denim pants, as well. I think she will probably accept the additional items. I just wish I had more to shre with her, right now because I think that she really needs these things.
Anyway, the step past the point of no return is that I have a pair of identical pants a couple of sizes smaller to the pair I offered to this gal. I discovered the other day that much to my delight that they now fit me. (I haven't worn those pants in years.) So I am wearing them out and about and the larger pants were just hanging in my closet, taking up a much needed for other stuff hangar. If the gal to whom I offered the larger pants accepts them, they will be gone. Forever. No going back. No safety fatter pants. No fallback. I am committed to staying on track, because going heavier will not be an option. I won't have anything to cover my arse, if I do.
Incentive, indeed. People don't need to be seeing my bare arse. Waaay too much cottage cheese action, going on back there. Not a pretty sight. lol Besides, it is Winter-ish. I would freeze my ass off. And, I might not like the size of my ass, right now but I still kinda need it. It has a job to do. :P
Day after tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, here in the states. Do all of my fellow turkey gobbling Americans have your Thanksgiving plans firmed up? Your calorie coping strategies in place? Healthy options ready to place on your table, or pack up to haul over the river and through the woods so that you can get through the day the best way you can? I do. And I am looking forward to the holiday. I will have both of my guys here and I have kitteh treats for Marley and a huge Ultimate Busy Bone as a Thanksgiving treat for Sabryna. It is going to be just the five of us, this year. A quiet, laid back, easy day, for a change. I love and enjoy the all day cookathon and I love, love, love to entertain and have company but a more intimate holiday will be a lovely, welcome respite. :D
Oh, speaking of Sabryna... She is feeling fine. She has always had a goosey tummy, has always been prone to tossing her cookies. It is a pain in the ass and gross, in the extreme. But it is how she rolls. She actually knows to ask to be put outside when she feels as if she is going to hurl and most of the time, I can get her outside before she blows. But I was asleep, when she was sick, this morning so she had no choice but to lose it all over my floor. Poor baby girl. I know that she didn't want to barf in the house.
Now, if I could just teach Marley to hack up his frakking hairballs in his litter box, instead of under my dressing table or my bed... :P
A Sunshiney Day
All of my beautiful rain and clouds have blown away and the sun is shining brightly. My lovely interlude is over.
My weekend, nutritionally wasn't so lovely. I didn't eat enough to gain weight but I certainly didn't eat to lose. I am frustrated with myself. I have really been struggling to stay on track and I don't know what my damage is. I do know that I am allowing myself to slide off track. And it is time to tighten the reigns and get myself back under control.
A lower calorie ceiling is called for. I keep allowing myself to get away with this oh, it is just a couple of hundred over and it is okay and it is getting out of control. So, back to my tougher target range. 1200 to 1400. 1400 is my ceiling. And it is not glass.
I have come too far, worked too hard to let myself go back, now. I will get past this. I just have to do it, soon.
I allowed myself to sleep in, this morning. I needed rest and some additional sleep. I should have gotten up at my usual time. When I came out to my kitchen to put on my teakettle, I saw that my laundry room floor was covered in dog vomit. It. Was. Disgusting. I had to clean up all that barf and wash my floor. The whole time, I was gagging and came dangerously close to adding to the mess. Blech! Gross! What a way to start my day.
At least I got a good night's sleep and actually feel rested. :P
So, yeah. Shitty weekend. Barfy morning. I hope that today is a little better. Food and dog stomach wise. lol
I have laundry to do. I suppose I should get to it.
Happy day.
My weekend, nutritionally wasn't so lovely. I didn't eat enough to gain weight but I certainly didn't eat to lose. I am frustrated with myself. I have really been struggling to stay on track and I don't know what my damage is. I do know that I am allowing myself to slide off track. And it is time to tighten the reigns and get myself back under control.
A lower calorie ceiling is called for. I keep allowing myself to get away with this oh, it is just a couple of hundred over and it is okay and it is getting out of control. So, back to my tougher target range. 1200 to 1400. 1400 is my ceiling. And it is not glass.
I have come too far, worked too hard to let myself go back, now. I will get past this. I just have to do it, soon.
I allowed myself to sleep in, this morning. I needed rest and some additional sleep. I should have gotten up at my usual time. When I came out to my kitchen to put on my teakettle, I saw that my laundry room floor was covered in dog vomit. It. Was. Disgusting. I had to clean up all that barf and wash my floor. The whole time, I was gagging and came dangerously close to adding to the mess. Blech! Gross! What a way to start my day.
At least I got a good night's sleep and actually feel rested. :P
So, yeah. Shitty weekend. Barfy morning. I hope that today is a little better. Food and dog stomach wise. lol
I have laundry to do. I suppose I should get to it.
Happy day.
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