Dude, That's Fuggin' Ugly!

A fine Thursday evening. Cool, cloudy and quiet, as Husband and Son are not home, yet. I expect them to walk in the door any moment, now.

So, I watched an episode of Oprah that I recorded yesterday. She had a gal on who wrote a book about women and food. I agreed with a great deal of what she had to say but I didn't learn anything I didn't already know or am not already working through. Basically, her premise is that our relationship with food is formed when we are young, that many of us use food to numb out (bitch has been reading my blogs lol) as a drug to keep us from feeling. When we release our food from having to be our drug, it is just nourishment and we have to learn to live and to feel our feelings. And so on. I just sat here, watching, listening and saying, "Duh!" a lot.

I do think that for anyone who is struggling with this concept, this book could be very, very helpful. But I don't really think I need it. And I certainly won't be attending her conferences or retreats.

Anyhoo... My own day has gone well. It is Subway Thursday. So, calories will be a tad higher than usual. But not too terribly much. I have decided that I don't need cheese or avocado every time I have a sandwich. It is just as tasty and filling without. I will save the avo or cheese as a treat. I can't do without my light mayo, tho. I think that a sandwich without mayo is like a day without clouds. What the hell is the point? lol


You know... I can't remember the last time I had a binge? And, I haven't even been thinking about it all that much, lately. I have had a few days that were a little higher, calorie wise than I really like, but they were due to a few poor choices, a little extra snacking or something. Certainly not a binge, as I see a binge. It is so nice not to have those nasty, obsessive, painful thoughts filling and swirling through and messing with my brain. It is a little weird. I am not used to it. But I am certainly not complaining. :D

So... I did a fresh mani. And I have to say, I am not a fan. It is Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Iced Coffee. If someone ever hands me an iced coffee that looks like this polish, I will most likely throw up on their shoes. This colour is that tragic. On me, anyway. Perhaps on someone with the right skin tone, it is lovely. But it isn't on me. I want to clean it off, so, so, so much! But I am making myself wear it until at least tomorrow evening.

Why, you ask would I do that to myself? Well, the answer is very simple. I deserve to be punished. You see, when I bought this polish, I had already picked up and put in my cart Hidden Treasure (squeee!!!) and had in my hand a gorgeous bluey, foily, ocean inspired colour called something Sea or something like that. It was so beautiful and I was salivating over it. So, what did I do? I started to doubt myself. I thought that I was getting too many "busy" polishes, that I needed a nice, quiet neutral.

So, I put down the gorgeous and picked up this monstrosity, instead. Yeah... I know. Nuts. Certifiable. That is I.

I had another lesson in trusting my instincts and myself. Everything in me was screaming for the pretty polish, but just for that short time, I felt as if I didn't deserve it, that I had not done anything to earn the privilege of owning and enjoying it so I had to get the quiet, neutral polish, instead.

Screw that. From now on, if a polish makes me squeee! I am buying it. And I am not keeping ugly and unloved polishes, any longer, either. The Iced Coffee has joined other rejects in the Zoya trade in pile.

Wanna see the fuggin' ugly?

Taken in evening light through my window, no flash. Slightly blurry, sorry.

With flash.

And, just because I like to make you suffer... One more. *evil grin* As unflattering as this stuff is in a photograph, you should see it, IRL. It is almost gag worthy ugly on me.

I will say this for this polish, it was a bit of a joy to apply. The brush is a little big and wide and clunky, especially to wipe the excess off, but it applied the polish very nicely. This colour is a creme and it was smooth as a baby's cheek and opaque in two fast, easy coats. Seche just enhanced the lovely smoothness and shine. It is an easy clean up, too. So, this stuff does have it's merits. The colour is just tragic on me. And I will never wear it, again.

When am I going to learn, once and for all to trust myself and be true to myself? I am doing better, but I still have a long way to go, don't I? lol


Painted Lady Fingers is Having a Giveaway!

Check out the link and her lovely polish blog and her beautiful floral photography. :D

Windy Wednesday

It was cold and windy again, today. So much so that I decided not to walk. I did an in home walking workout, instead. I did forty minutes of moderate low impact cardio. Added a little work with light weights, too. I'm a little sore tonight but not too badly. I do think that I might take a couple of Advil PM when I go to bed, tho. lol

I did well with food, 1327 calories for the day. I'll take it. :D

I had a few dicey moments, in kitchen doing other things like unloading my dishwasher or sweeping or something and I swear I could hear that frakkin' bag of potato chips speaking to me. I felt a pull to the pantry. "Just a few! No one will know. Just a few can't hurt." Damn! I hate that. The thoughts that can be so destructive swirling through my head. Lying to me. Luring me to behaviours I really don't want to keep doing.

Today, when the pull hit, when the whispers flitted through my mind, when my mouth began watering, getting ready for the fatty, potato, salty hit, I turned and left the kitchen. And a couple of minutes later, it was over.

The craving had passed. The whispers quiet, my taste buds still. And I haven't felt the need, for the rest of the day.

Dang.

Control feels good.

So does knowing that if I can pull away, the need doesn't last all that long. Hell, I can stand almost anything for a few minutes.

I gave birth.

I have stayed married through better and a whole shit load of worse for over twenty one years.

Surely a little bag of potato chips won't win.

It didn't, today.

I sat in here this evening and worked for a long time on a French manicure. I didn't use guide tapes and my white edges were a bit uneven, so I used pretty stick on decals to decorate my nails and call attention away from my less then stellar tip job. (Why does that sound dirty? *evil grin*) My nails looked so pretty. Then I added a coat of Seche. And my decals lifted under the Seche and wrinkled up and ended up a big old mess.

So, all that work. All that time and all that pretty, down the drain. I had to clean it all off and I am so ticked and tired of messing with them so I just slicked a coat of base coat. I'll do a new mani, tomorrow.

*sigh* So disappointed.

I'll live.

The Polish That Broke My Little Heart

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a little thing for blue. It is my favourite colour. :D It speaks to me and makes me happy. No... I am not someone who must have everything from all of my clothes to my entire interior decor to my hair to my car to my dog all blue. lolol I do like other colours, too. ;) But I do love blue.

When I was in Wal Mart a few weeks back I picked up this blue polish. Pure Ice All Night Long. It was such a lovely cobalt blue with a fine shimmer. I fell in love. Brought it home and put it in my little polish stash until I was in the mood to wear it. I actually used some of it to make a franken (which may make an appearance, one day) and I decided to wear it today.

It went on pretty nicely... A little thin and wanted to flow onto my cuticles. No worries, I thought, I can just do clean up as I always do. I am a bit of a messy polish painter. lolol So, I polished happily along, two coats later I was in love. By the time I got a thick, glossy coat of Seche over the top, I was salivating and ready to take this stuff to Vegas and marry it. The colour is stunning. A beautiful, brilliant cobalt blue with blue micro shimmer. Deep and rich but a true, clear blue, not blackened or at all vampy. Just... *sigh* Gorgeous.

Then I tried to do clean up.

Crap! Crap! Crap! What a frakkin' mess. It was nearly impossible to clean that colour up. Where it flowed to my cuticles it stained the skin. And I couldn't get it cleaned up, no matter how much acetone I used, how many different brushes I tried, how long I worked at it. It was horrid. A horrid, horrid mess.

After trying to clean it up for an hour, I gave up and decided to remove it. And that is where the fun really started. It took a pile of cotton rounds, five Q-Tips and lot of pure acetone to get that shit off my nails, off my cuticles and out from under my nails, too. After I got the surfaces clean, I had to soak Q-Tips and roll them against my cuticles, flooding them with acetone and rolling to clean them. The skin on the sides of my nails was stained, too. Still is, a bit. If you know where to look, you can still see shadows of it on my skin. My poor fingers still hurt from all of the manipulation and acetone.

Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you see this polish in your local Wal-Mart or some other store, pick it up and say, "Oooo! Pretty!!" and think that you might want to buy it, put it down. Turn around and run! Don't walk away. Run for the hills and don't let that stuff within a mile of your little fingers. Trust me, if you do, you will regret it.

I am going to toss this crap in the trash. And, come to think about it, that franken is going in the trash, too. I hate throwing away things I spend my limited beauty budget on. Hate, hate, hate it.

Almost as much as I hate that polish.

Check out the photos. These were taken after over an hour with brushes and acetone, trying to make it work. Scroll on down and drink in the horror of this stuff, let it be a lesson to you and don't make the same mistake I did.

I'm still pissed to the gills because of how gorgeous this colour is.