Going Along Well Then...

Chips and Salsa

I was indulging in my new addiction. Sherlock, the British version and I was unthinking and did not stop with the chips and salsa. Otherwise my day wasn't too bad. I ate so many chips and salsa, William ate so many, Patrick at so may that there are no more chips left so I can't get myself into anymore trouble with crunchy, salty, white corn goodness.

Sadly, there are no more delicious Sherlock episodes on YouTube for me to goggle for free. Guess it is time for me to break down and get Netflix 'cause Mama needs more Sherlock. Mama needs all of the Sherlock.

In other entertainment news, we are Die Hard fans in this house. All of the movies have been watched time and again. Enjoyed, time and again. A Good Day to Die Hard, the fifth offering was junk. Garbage. Terrible. It had a few okay moments but overall it was a big fat fail. I think it is safe to say that the Die Hard Franchise has jumped the shark.

There's clouds out there! Woot! I don't think that they will actually dump anything on us but they give me hope.

The Witching Hour

IIt is quiet, right now. Except for the TV on in the background, that is. I just took Sabryna out for what I hope is the last time tonight and I am finally taking a little time to natter here.

I came in under 1800 calories for the day. I am calling it a victory.

It is quiet and I am still up because William and Patrick are doing a two time up and back to Bullhead City. Patrick recently bought a new (to him) car and he offered his Mustang to his uncle. My BIL jumped on it, he is having a tough time, right now, his job pays for shit and his wife works but isn't making bank, either and they need a dependable car. Their vehicles are in bad shape and they don't have much much money for repairs and so forth. If I had known what an asshole the person we sold the Jeep to would turn out to be (what a story that turned out to be...) I would have happily given it to BIL. Seriously. I would have rather gifted it to him than have had the thousand dollars form that asshole.

So, BIL is going to pay my son $50.00 a month for twenty month for the Mustang, which will bring Patrick's car payment down to just under a hundred dollars a month for that duration. Lucky brat, got a 2004 Chevy Trailblazer for $143.00 a month. It is a very nice vehicle, clean, runs great and he is thrilled with it. The payment is perfect for him, easy for him to afford and he loves his new SUV. A lot.

So anyway, BIL and the Mustang and why I am home alone... William and Patrick went up to Bullhead to get BIL, brought him here, did the necessary, went to the DMV to take care of the legalities and so forth, the guys went over to MIL's for dinner, then they all took off; BIL driving his "new" car home and William, being William decided too follow him home to be sure that the Mustang makes it safely all the way back. It should. The engine is in good shape and we put a bunch of money into it, made a lot of other repairs... Brakes, shocks, door locks, window motors, cylinoid, fan... A couple of tires... I know that I am forgetting something. I hope that the car runs beautifully for him for a long time. BIL could use a break. I wish that we could do more for him, but this is one thing we can do.

I enjoyed the opening ceremony of the Olympics. I fast forwarded through a little of it. The part about the teenagers and cell phones and shit... Bored me. Thank heaven for my DVR. lol The rest of it was really fun to watch, tho. The Olympic cauldron was genius. So creative and beautiful. And bravo to the director of the ceremony for the high energy, fast paced Parade of Nations. It was nice to see it go so swiftly and not drag on and on and on and on. Well done, overall. It was pretty and creative and yet had a restraint that is so very British.

Sabryna... She is getting worse. She is having increased trouble walking and keeps falling and hurting herself. We had to build a ramp for her to get in and out of the back door as she lost the ability to negotiate the steps to go out and go potty. But she is looking more gaunt and her appetite is on and off and today... Ugh. This morning, I took her out to go potty, then she went back too sleep and I high tailed it downstairs to take a shower, do my makeup and hair. I took a little extra time, played with some different eyeshadow colours and then stripped my bed, as I had decided to wash my sheets. I brought them upstairs and headed for the laundry room and found piles of barf. One on the floor by the water dish, half of it in my flopper. Ick. A pile, puddle, really, in front of my dishwasher and a big one in my laundry room in front of my dryer.

Gah!!!! I am a sympathetic barfer. You barf, I barf. Cleaning all of that up was a treat, let me tell you. It wasn't all her fault. She knows better than to throw up in the house and if she feels sick, she asks to go outside to throw up. She is really good about that. I was downstairs, so she had no choice. Luckily, when she got sick again around five, I was upstairs with her so I was able to take her out and let her do her gross business outside. Poor baby girl. She didn't eat, all day. She finally had a few bites of food, a little while ago and she is sleeping, now.

I want to ge to bed but I can't sleep with everyone gone. and I am afraid that if I go downstairs and go to bed, Sabryna will get sick and I won't be up here to help her. I probably will go soon, tho. I am tired.

Pulling Myself Up By My Bootstraps

I had a pretty fantastic day, yesterday. I ate on track and walked and had a calmer mind and spirit and didn't tell myself that I am a fat, stupid, ugly, worthless, undeserving pig who should just fall into a dark hole and stay the fuck there. I still believe that I am those things. But I am trying to teach myself that I shouldn't say them to myself. Maybe once I stop saying them, I can begin to stop believing them. What say? Is it possible? We shall see.

I am working hard to do as well, today. 306 on my scale scared the shit out of me. I have to go in the right direction and stop this spiral back into my former hell. I don't want to go back there. I won't.

I am dating a new camera. William picked it out and brought it home to me. I was not happy with it. I still am not. I didn't want another Fuji. They are bad about having focusing issues and this new camera is no exception. I am frustrated by my inability to get it to give me the quality photos I need. I am still working with it, it is a better camera than my old point and shoot and would be a good bridge camera to hold me over until I can afford the one I really, really want. I have received a few tips and I am going to try them. I need this camera to work for me.

I am not happy with William, either. Once again, he went against my wishes and made a decision for me. I appreciate that he wanted to get me a new camera. I don't appreciate that he got the one I didn't want them insisted that I was wrong for being angry at him for once again taking what little control I have in my life away from me and doing what he thought should be done. Regardless of my feelings about the situation. He actually made me feel like a raging shit bitch for being upset. He made me feel guilty and as if I had hurt him, ruined his experience. I didn't get to shop and compare and fuss and hem and haw and read reviews and go back and forth and all the stuff I love, love, love to do when making a purchase of this importance. He took all of that away from me then made me feel like the lowest scum on the face of the planet when I didn't thank him for it.

And a part of me hates him for that. And a part of me hates myself for once again, bowing to his manipulations and letting him make me feel like dogshit. Again.

Anywhoozle, I have a little time before the camera has to be returned so I am trying to make it work for me. If I can't, back it goes. And fuck William or what he thinks about it. *deep breath*

I'm drinking my water. I hope that all of you are, too.

Anyone watch the latest The Biggest Loser? Whiners, much? Big, fat, babies who are so entitled and spoiled and snotty and disregarding the fact that they are adults who read and signed a contract and knew that twists like the one presented (or was going to be presented to them) happen on that program. Stop being four year olds and grow the fuck up, get over yourselves and get on with it.

Then there is Jeremy, the ogler of women waaaay out of his league (I am not referring too his weight, his maturity level and personality, only) who thinks that he is all that and actually stands a chance. He was one of the whiners, the babies crying and complaining about one of the at home players being brought back. He packed his bags and threatened to leave because it wasn't fair. He deserved the final. Not who had been eliminated.

He got eliminated.

Guess who is going to compete his ass off to get back into the game?

Yeah.

I seriously doubt that pudding brained idiot is going to say that it would be unfair for him to get back in the game after being eliminated, that he doesn't "deserve" the chance and bow out. Oh no. He will go for it and if he gets back in, crow about how fabulous he is.

Gag.

If either he or his mouth breathing, whining, entitled, backstabbing sister win, I will not be happy. I can't stand either of them. Conda really pissed me off when she reacted the way she did to Kim winning the weigh in and the car and Jeremy being ousted. She showed her true colours, her true self that time. And it was deplorable. And if I hear her whine about how she and her brother "deserve" this one more time...

Am I the only one who thinks that the word "deserve" is overused? You don't "deserve" a win or a place in the finals. You earn it.

Wow. Not that I am bitchy or anything.

Okay. So. I have to pee and I have some photos to edit and some other stuff to do. I also need to get out for a walk, later. We are going to try the trails out by the park. The lake trails are just too buggy. I inhaled ten pounds of gnats, last night. I actually had to wash some out of my teeth with my water. Yuk!!!

Bob Harper; Hipster at Large

Anyone watch the busted up all over the place episode of The Biggest Loser last night? Did you get a load of Bob's getup at the weigh in? WTF? Really, Bob? bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that I wasn't the biggest loser this week. Well, I was a loser but not the right kind of loser. :P gag

I am still working with Imitrex. I have used it three times, so far and it was somewhat successful, once. I took it the other night just as I got an aura and it stopped the worst of my headache. I slept really well, that night, had weird dreams and then the next afternoon I had a rebound that hit me without any warning and almost put me to bed. I don't know... *sigh* I'll keep up with it for a while, I think that some med need to be worked with a bit but so far, I am hardly impressed.

I am so ready for Spring. It is cooler, today. It was chilly, yesterday, there was zero humidity and so crazy windy that I feel dessicated, today.I feel as if I have been through a dehydrator and turned into fruit leather. Blech! I am drenching myself in oil and lotion and moisturizer and I am still dry as a cracker. I need warmer days and milder nights. Nao!

Okay, the Red Team and the Black Team are all a bunch of idiots. They can't see the danger right in front of them. They can't see that Conda worked them, that she is just out to protect her brother and that they have a plan to be one and two and to hell with the rest of them. None of them can see Conda's working both teams and none of them saw her smirking and grinning behind her hands, running to the other team to work her plan. They are all idiots and blinded by the "feeling of family" and she is sucking it all up like a vampire. They all deserve what they will get at her hands.

Anywhoozle. I have stuff to get done and had better get to it. 

Brekkie: Coffee and a protein and fruit smoothie.

Random Nattering

I like to watch YouTube videos. I have eclectic taste and an insatiable desire to know a little bit about just about everything. I bounce from subject to subject, watching videos, taking in different points of view and chewing things over. I especially enjoy beauty videos. I am subscribed to a shitload of so called "gurus" and I have to admit, I have been massively enabled; something I don't really mind, since I love makeup and I have learned new techniques. My shadow application and blending, for instance... I was always pretty good at it but now... Much better. And I can actually lay down a right fawncy liquid line. Something that eluded me for years. My secret? Loreal Lineur Intense liquid liner. The one with the felt tip applicator. It;s fab. Blackest black and so easy to use. Even I can't muck it up.

It is still lovely, here. There were clouds, rain, possibly snow in the forecast for early next week. No longer. It is supposed to remain clear and nice. I have to say I am not complaining. Sure, this lack of precip and snow is going to be a huge problem, come fire season. The forest is going to be as dry as a tinderbox. But I just can't hate this weather. I want to. But I can't. And I usually love cloudy days.

I am slowly gathering together all of the supplies I need to press and palette all of my Bare Minerals makeup. I was an avid mineral makeup only user for over a decade. Loved the stuff. then, my skin changed and the foundation was no longer suitable. I branched out to liquid and cremes and started buying different kinds of shadows, blushes and so forth, as well. So I have a crap ton of little jars of mineral beauty that I m just over messing around with. I love the colours, I am just over the loose powder. And I certainly have no intention of tossing them. I invested a good bit of money in that makeup. I am going to press it all and put the pans in palettes. I will still be able to enjoy all of my pretties and they will be so much easier to use, store and take along with me. I'll yak more about that when I actually get to it. :D

I had a pretty crappy day, yesterday. I didn't go all hog wild. There weren't burgers, or anything but there was some nasty good popcorn. Orville Reddenbacher's Movie Theatre Butter with the pour over stuff? Yeah. Baaaad. I have a popcorn and nasty fake butter hangover, this morning. I had some chips, too. Blech.

I am making so many typos that my page is covered in little wavy red lines. That is what I get for downing three huge mugs of coffee, this morning. I feel as if I am going to vibrate right off my sofa. But boy, am I ever wide awake. lol Yes, I know that I am committing grammatical homicide. Sue me.

Mmm... Water. It does a body good. *lame*

Who's watching The Biggest Loser? I am! I am. *waving hand in the air* I see that this season is another one full of everything I love and hate about the show. You have couples. Again. *sigh* isn't that concept a little played out, already? I am so over the family/best friend teams of two. Together, pitted against one another. Whatever. I am so tired of waaah, waahhh, I have to save my son/daughter/husband/wife cry, cry, cry. Blech. Enough, with the couples, already! Bring in a houseful of total strangers and let them duke it out. Now, that is fun to watch! I see that we have a new House Asshole. Typical big, tall, fat, arrogant asshole. Thinks that he rules the place and has already won it and is not afraid to run his big mouth. Guys like this piss me off. And when they win... *cough* John from last season. *cough* It pisses me off, even more. In my not so humble opinion, a truly strong, confident man doesn't need to be an arrogant asshole. He exudes that confidence quietly. Earns respect through a certain elegance of self and is naturally charismatic. Men like John and Patrick from a few seasons back? Not so much.

Project Runway is back. All Stars, this time. No Heidi or Tim, tho. Huh??? I love Heidi and Tim! They are like peanut butter and jelly on the runway. And what is a judging panel without Michael Kors? I don't know how I feel about this new team. We'll see what happens, I suppose. I am tickled to see Austin Scarlett, Sweet P and Rami Kashou  and Kara Janx again. They were some of my faves in seasons past.

I think that my brain is buzzing as hard as my fingers are. lol

Good Morning, Blogland

I hope that everyone is having a good morning. I am waiting for my kettle to boil so that I can have my first cup of coffee. It is sunny and chilly, this AM but it is supposed to warm up to 80 or so this afternoon. Should be a pretty day.

Mmm... Coffee. :D Marley just had his morning pile of Party Mix. He expects his treat every day. He sits up on my washer, meowing, staring at me and licking his lips until he gets his goodies. lol Oh! I have to watch Anderson, today. It's about germy stuff. Should be fun. Pardon me while I set my DVR...

Cripes I need to wake up. I hate mornings.

Okay, I am going to have my java and watch The Biggest Loser. I'll see all of you later. :D

Happy Fall!

It's one of the best days of the year. :D

No leaves changing here, yet. They usually start in October and depending on the species go into November. Sometimes we get peak on some trees as late as Thanksgiving. I am so looking forward to the leaves. They are one of the most beautiful things ever. 

You know what else Fall brings? Oh yeah... You know. You know what makes this TV junkie happier than a pig in fresh, wet mud. New shows, baby! And returning favourites. *sigh* I mean, what could make a TV addicted poor fool like me just vibrate with joy? A whole lineup of new stuff to fill my addled brain. This is the season when so much stuff is flooding the airwaves that my DVR smokes. I am test driving new series to see what I think of them and enjoying the season premiers of old friends. Oh! Amazing Race fans, the new season kicks off Sunday nights, check your local listings. 

One of the shows that kicked off this week was of course, The Biggest Loser. I like this show. I make no apologies for that. Hell, I make no apologies for anything I watch... Including the Real Housewives franchise, of which I happen to be a huge fan. But I am annoyed with The Biggest Loser this season. And my annoyance all boils down to two little words. Anna Kournikova.

Would someone please tell me what the high holy hell some second rate former tennis player knows about the physiology and psychology of obesity? Okay, so she knows how to whip herself into shape for rolling around in steamy music videos with Enrique Iglesias, doing Maxim, FHM and Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition  photo shoots and strangely suggestive sports bra adds. But how exactly does that qualify her to understand and even more crucially be able to in any way, shape or form identify with obese persons. Especially senior citizens?

Oh wait. I know. She's hot. Apparently, that is the sole qualifying criteria, nowadays if you are going to be on TV in any capacity. Hell, it seems to be vitally important if you are going to do anything, anywhere. If you are hot you are qualified to do anything. Never mind that her extremely limited professional tennis successes during her extremely short professional tennis career (not entirely her fault... she suffered an injury that cut her pro competitive career short) came on the doubles court. Let's forget that ESPN has named her number one on their most highly overrated athletes ever list and #18 on their list of the biggest athletic flops of the last 25 years. Let us forget, for just one moment that the girl hasn't been educated in exercise physiology. Has she spent even one moment in a classroom? Read books on the subject? Hell, can she even read? 

Okay, maybe that last one was a little harsh.And I don't know whether or not she is educated in exercise physiology. Tho my guess would be a big, fat no. (If I am wrong, I will happily eat a huge, steaming plate of crow. Feathers and all. I am a big girl and I can freely admit when I am wrong. And apologize sincerely for being so.)  And, since I am not a huge fan of the whole everyone must have a degree mindset that has pervaded our culture so thoroughly, I will give her credit for on the job training. But I still don't think that her accomplishments, her credits, if you will, qualify her to work successfully with obese persons. I can't see her getting into the nitty gritty of the complex nature of why a person is obese. I don't think that she has even a clue of how and why a person can get to the point where they need intervention for a severe eating disorder. An eating disorder that has taken them to the point of no return and is threatening to kill them.I am waiting with bated breath for her down and dirty talks with her team. It will be interesting to see if she has any ability to listen, identify, empathize. I doubt that she can. I really do.

But I could be wrong. And if I am, I will, once again munch nasty scavenger bird and shiny black feathers with alacrity. 

Holy shit! I am watching Project Runway as I type this and Oliver just flat out offended his client! The look in Ewen's eyes when Oliver said the nasty things he did about him. I am so sick of Oliver's bitching about big people, plus sized people. Hell, having to dress anyone of normal size. He only wants to work with "model sizes" and waaahhh, waaahhh, waaahhh. I hope that he fails miserably and gets tossed out on his whiny little ass. We shall see.

Yessssss! Little Mr. Whiny I-Hate-Big-People! Pants Oliver is out. Finally.

Well, I guess I have had my catty little bitchfest for the day, hmmm? 

Do I have anything else to natter about right now? Not really. So I am going to go. I have some stuff to get done and I am ears deep n a couple of little projects I need to finish. They both involve nail polish, but they aren't both on my nails. 

The Biggest Loser: Godfather Edition

What the fuck is with these idiots on the Red Team? Are they so hungry for leadership that they will be sheep, allowing Jordan to make all of the decisions and run the team? Do everything he tells them, eliminate whomever he says to eliminate? They were stupid, getting rid of someone who is a strong performer for the team to keep "the family" (Jordan's Family) together. Huh? Don't these people get it? They are in a fight for their lives and they are allowing that bearded weirdo run the whole thing. Trust me, the bearded weirdo is out for himself. And he is a manipulative, controlling bastard who will do anything to achieve his objective. And these idiots are allowing him to do it.

Dumbasses. They aren't doing this for Jordan and what he wants, but they have been manipulated into thinking that is what they have to do. According to the numbers, it was time for Kaylee to go.

Of course, that is just my opinion. I may be wrong. :P

It is a cloudy, overcast day, today. Rain is in the forecast, for the next few days. As long as it doesn't snow. I am going to try to get in a good hike out at the lake, this afternoon since once it rains the trails will be muck and I will be on my glider until they dry, again. Why doesn't the city just build covered trails, so we can walk in all weather? :P

Half of my daily water intake is down the hatch *glurg* and food is on track. I have a few chores to do up really quick-like then I need to get on my glider. I would like to get a work out on it, then go walking this evening. Moar cardio means moar calories burned. Not a bad thing.

I slept late, until after nine (I almost never sleep in!) and it has thrown off my whole day. I need to go empty my dishwasher, scoop Marley's box, sweep, vacuum, dust then get my exercise. I'll see you all later. :)

Phase Four Another Great Day :D

Yesterday went easily and smoothly. I am thinking that I needed a hardcore, structured program that I could challenge myself to stick to. I like a challenge and I suppose I should admit that I am a bit competitive, as well.

Calories yesterday: 1207
Water: 6 qts. *gurgle*
Exercise: Sadly I just can't yet. I wish these shingles would heal up and the sidewalks clear of ice and snow, soon. I want to get out there.

My shingles are still doing their thing. I have a feeling that this is something that takes a little time. *bleargh* I am in a tiny bit less pain. I haven't needed a muscle relaxer the moment I got out of bed, tho I will probably need one later, once I get to moving around and doing some things around this house. I am taking my anti-viral faithfully and Vicodin only at bedtime. I have found that breaking them in half and only taking half is a gracious plenty for me. That is one medication I am going to be happy to not need, any longer. I don't like taking narcotics unless I absolutely must. They have their place and can be a benefit. They are also dangerous.

I am so pissed at myself. Yesterday. I was clearing some random shit off my DVR and somehow I managed to delete V. Gah! I have been looking forward to this series returning and was all ready to watch it and it was gone. Waaaahhh!!! I tried to find it at the ABC website but they don't have the entire episode up, yet. (Other networks get their episodes up in a timely manner, why can't they?) Shit! You have to be kidding! So, I will just have to record the upcoming and save them until ABC gets off their asses and gets that episode up online so I can see it, then I can watch the rest in order. You might ask me why I don't just watch the others until I can see this one... I can't. I have to see a series in order. I can't miss an episode or come in in the middle. It just doesn't work for me. I need to follow the threads. I am the same way with books and movies. Yes, even I have my little oddities.

Sooo... Yeah, today is also going well. I had a mug of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal for brekkie. I am busily slurping water and feeling very good about things. In control and head is on straight. No binge urges, no need to feed or snack unadvisedly. Things are pretty smooth in my realm, right now. :D

Okay, I am still not full of terrific things to talk about. And now I need to pee like a racehorse so I am going to close this entry.

Sugar Free Caramel Coffee

Easy-peasy. Make your coffee of choice. Add some fat free half and half and Torani sugar free caramel syrup to taste, stir and enjoy. :D

I haven't made it a secret that I drink instant coffee. Hey, it really isn't that bad, once you get used to it. And I also slurp a lot of tea. I need a teakettle. I had to trash my most recent one because it was full of lime scale and was falling apart. So yesterday, the hunt was on. Time to buy a new one. I searched all over this piece of shit crap cow pattiy kicking bullshit podunk hell town for a good teakettle. I finally found some at Ross. The first store I wanted to try, the last one I got to. No other stores had any that were pretty and affordable. Dillard's had two, a Le Cruset.... Yeah, No. Not for seventy bucks. And a Paula Deen brand kettle. Uh, how many ways can I say Oh Hell No! My last teakettle was her brand and it was a piece of shit. On a stick. I will never buy anything that broad endorses.

So, I finally found the kettle I wanted at Ross. It was a thing of beauty. 1.8 quart, high, arched handle, the little spout cover lever in the handle so that I don't have to risk burning my little digits. And shiny! So, so shiny. I was in love. When I got it home, I gave it a good wash, dried it and filled it up with fresh, cold water and went to put it on my stove. And discovered, to my horror that it leaks! Where the body meets the bottom it isn't sealed properly.

Shit! Now that one has to go back and I have to get something else. *sigh* Back to boiling my coffee and tea water in a small open pot.

We also went all over creation looking for a new microwave. There wasn't one microwave that we liked at a decent price in this entire hellhole of a town. I guess we will have to go to the frakking Valley?

I hate Prescott! Hate it here. Not only do I hate this stupid town, I hate the way that there is nothing decent here, I can't find what I want and need and...

Gah! I just hate it here!

Okay. Rant over.

Food yesterday was good. I ended up just over 1400 calories.

Food is good today, too. I am also back to slugging water like a crazy woman. My poor little ankles are really puffy.

I am watching the Survivor Finale. Just a note, Holly; "stragical", like "stratigary" is not a word.

Laundry day, today. I am ears deep in four loads and I need to go get one out of my dryer, right now. And then I want my lunch. I am hongry.

I'll be back later to read your blogs and maybe yap a bit more, later.

I Can Haz Ankle Bones

Hello chickens. How is everyone? All is well, here. I have been up to my usual tricks. Housework and so forth. I am also keeping up my water intake and I made an interesting discovery, today. I have bones in my ankles.

Who knew?

I have spent so many years with puffy ankles that I rarely ever see/saw the bones that reside there. Especially in my left ankle, which is by far my worst ankle. My swelling isn't completely gone and I doubt it will be until I get a significantly higher amount of weight off. Hell, it might be with me, in some way or other for the rest of my life. But it is better. So. Much. Better. Drinking the water and keeping my feet up as much as I can. Fabulous. :D

I slugged about five quarts of water, today. Only one cup of coffee, one mug of sugar free cocoa and no Crystal Light. Not too shabby. Do I need five quarts of water? Is three enough? Four? I don't know that I can sustain five, especially on days when I have to be out and about. I mean, really, spending all of my time running from bathroom to bathroom isn't my idea of a terrific day out. But on days I am home... Definitely doable.

Food is good... I am in under 1500 for the day. I wanted to be closer to 1200 but I am still in my target range so, good enough. I would be lower if I hadn't decided to indulge in a big mug of cocoa. I used sugar free, but made it with two packets, added a quarter cup of fat free half and half and a little swirl of Reddi-Whip. About 200 calories. Not my best decision, today. Not catastrophic, but not a disaster. Definitely treat material, not for every day.


I have the finale of The Biggest Loser recording. I need to stay clear of Yahoo and so forth until I watch it. I had the finale of The Amazing Race spoiled for me. I have it stashed on my DVR and was going to watch it, tomorrow then I saw the result on the Yahoo page. Shit! I will still watch it. 'Cause I love it.

Is anyone else bugging over how fast this month is passing? Before you know it, it is going to be the New Year.

Current Weight

I remembered to get on the scale. 314.2. Down another 2.2. I can live with it. I seem to be sliding back into my rhythm and getting my head back in the game. I would like to see how close I can get to 300 by the 31st. I don't know if I will make it there, but I should get pretty close. :D

314... I haven't weighed this since 1999. I spent the last eleven years of my life hauling over three hundred pounds around. At least a couple of times I got to 400 or more. How fucking terrifying is that? No wonder my hips are trashed and my knees snap, crackle and pop when I even think of walking. Damn. I am so over this shit.

It feels good to be doing my thing right, again. It feels right.

Okay, so I have housework to do but I keep watching TV, instead. I need to make my bed and get the laundry out of my dryer and get a load in my washer. And here I sit. Watching TV, playing on my 'puter and getting on my scale. He-he. You know I am procrastinating and not in the mood to do something if I will get on my scale before I will do what I should be doing. :P

I just finished watching How To Train Your Dragon. What a cute movie. I have a thing for dragons. Always have. Maybe in addition to my inner lizard, I have a dragon. And she is becoming stronger than my lizard. Taking over and gaining power. That is kind of a cool thought... :D

Okay... I really need to get my stuff done. I don't want to but I need to. I am a grownup. I have to be responsible and do what I am supposed to to. Bleargh! Don't wanna. But I will. I will catch you all, later. :D

What a Bunch of Idiots!

I just finished watching The Biggest Loser. I can't believe the elimination. Finally, one of The Evil Triad, Fredo was below the yellow line. It was time to cut the head off the monster. They had the perfect opportunity to break up The Evil Triad and they didn't do it. Ada, Elizabeth and Mark just fucked themselves over and ruined any chance of coming out on top. They, through some misguided sense of loyalty kept Fredo in the house. Don't these morons understand what is happening? Are they that easily led? Stupid sheep.

All I can hope for is that The Evil Triad have a couple of really bad weeks and get their comeuppance.

It is a cold, cloudy day, today. No rain, of course. California wrung all the good stuff out of my clouds, leaving us high and dry. I guess that is why this area is called The Desert Southwest. :P I hate the desert.

Oh my! Aren't I just a frakking ray of sunshine? Little Miss Cheerful. Madam Happy Pants.

I am a little pissed, right now. No, actually I am a lot pissed, right now. Husband has landed his ass squarely in the doghouse, once again and I am in a rather bad mood because of it. I'll get over it. I have no choice, at this time. But I am indulging in a little being madder than a hornet, for a while. I am not taking this out on myself. I don't deserve to suffer because my husband is a certifiable idiot.

Dang, it is cold. I think I am going to make a big mug of tea, enjoy it, then I can jump in the shower. My hair wants washing.

Brrr.

A Pretty Good Day

Today has gone very well. I got a good deal of protein and that helped me keep things nicely under control. I didn't feel as if I wanted to snack between meals and I didn't feel ravenous at mealtime. I still need to have dinner... Haven't decided what I am going to have. Maybe a bagel and some soup... I am not too sure.

Other than that, not too much going on, around here. It was a fairly quiet day. Got the housework done early with Husband's help, played on my 'puter, did my nails, watched some recorded episodes of Parking Wars. That show is hilarious. We both get a kick out of it.

The Sucky Little Drummer Boy is at it, this evening.

Say, does anyone know how to change a blog template from a 2 column Minima to a three column Minima without having to start a new blog or putting the current one at risk? Anyone done it? If so, was it difficult? I would really like to convert this blog and my nail blog to three column, if at all possible. And if it is and I am able to do it, I promise to write a how-to so that anyone else who might be interested can do it, too. :D

Hungry... Want food... I think I will make a salad. Maybe open that pomegranate that is sitting in my fruit bowl, too. :D

Good Morning

I hope that you are all getting off to a good start, this fine A.M.

I have had a somewhat busy morning. I have about half of what I want to get done today done. I read all of the new blog entries that popped up on my blogroll and now, I want another coffee and my brekkie. And I think I will watch The Biggest Loser (don't you just love DVRs? :D) then dust, run my vacuum and swish and swipe my bathroom.

See you all later. :D

Just Checking In

Yesterday was a hide day. Which wouldn't have been so bad but it also turned out to be an out of control eat like a fucking idiot day. The good thing was, since I don't keep much garbage in the house, I was unable to do serious damage, calorie wise. But I still damaged myself. I reverted to patterns I am working so. hard. to change.

It was "only one day". But what the fuck was I thinking for that day? I am not exactly sure, to be perfectly honest. I was wallowing. I do know that. I need to wallow now and then. I accept that about myself. What I need to learn is wallowing without swallowing. (Oh, my! Aren't I the clever girl?)

Anyhoozle... I sucked down in the neighbourhood of 2800 calories, yesterday. A shocking number, when I think about how I eat, now. Even more shocking to me when I think about it in a mathematical sense is that it was still technically, by the numbers in my "weight loss range". Dang. Dayum! Ain't life grand when you are a fattie? (Uh... you did "hear" my sarcasm, didn't you???)

So, I am better, today. Not as prone to wallow. Still pulling out of my funk and feeling better. And I am on track. Definitely not feeling the need to feed. I get angry with myself when I have a day like I did, yesterday. But I am definitely encouraged by the fact that yesterday was just the one day. It didn't extend to today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Back to 400+ pounds.

No, I am not giving justification to having off days. And I am not, in any way, shape or form excusing my behaviour. I am taking responsibility. And I am trying too suss out in my stupid headedness what it is that drives me to do this, even on occasion. What exactly was I feeling, thinking when I did what I did? That is what I need to figure out.

I will. I have already worked out a lot of my shit. I still have a lot more work to do. I get that. And I will get it done. If I can get this far, I can go all the way. :D

In other news, this heat is driving me in-fucking-sane! And it isn't going away, right away. This heat wave is supposed to last for most of the week. Did you know it was 113 in LA, yesterday? It doesn't get to 113 in LA.

No such thing as Global Warming, my big, fat, dimpled white ass.

I have been watching Thintervention on Bravo. Interesting program. This is a bunch of whiny, complaining, non compliant brats. And I am so. sick. of the voice overs by Joe trashing the girls and making nasty remarks about fat girls in grocery stores, working out and how a fat girl can never be attractive or get laid and so forth. It is insulting and offensive. And he should have been called on it. Perhaps he still will. I mean, he makes all of these horrid comments about these women, but he is a fatass, too and in the same program. Geeze! What. An. Asshole.

Okay, I don't have a lot to natter on about, at the moment. I just needed to come on in and be accountable. Honesty with myself and my readers is important. It helps me. Moves me forward and helps me not to slip out of control and spiral back into the morass.

I need another cup of coffee and I think that I am finally hungry enough to do a late brekkie. Yay! Oatmeal. :P

Creepy-Crawly

Good Thursday morning gentle readers. I hope that you all had a great day yesterday. I was reading, just didn't post or comment much. Wasn't feeling all that chatty, I guess. :)

Yesterday was a good day, calories were right on target and I got in a two miler. The weather has changed. We awoke to a stuffy day, hot, humid and cloudy, then the wind suddenly shifted and the clouds and humidity and heat just blew away. The skies cleared, the air dried out and the breeze lasted all day and it was a perfect, late Summer day. Warm but not hot, not humid... Just perfect. It cooled down pretty rapidly as the sun sank and I actually had to wear a sleeved top on my walk, last night. And I was able to sleep, curled cosily under my flannel duvet, last night. :D

I want to address a problem that some of you might be able to identify with. Creepy-crawly. As in, you have lost some poundage but you are still wearing the same capri pants to go walking in. And as you walk, the legs of said capris ride up, bunch oh-so-attractively between your legs, exposing your fish belly white calves and fat knees as you trudge along a busy main drag. What is really fun is knowing that all the occupants in all the cars lined up at the red light as you roll on by with your bunchy, riding up capris are probably pointing and laughing. And then... You do it.

The Lift and Shake.

Come on. I know you do it. Admit it. The bunchy, ridden up fabric has driven you to distraction and you just can't take it anymore so, you slow and as "sneakily" as possible ('cause it is possible to be really sneaky on the side of a major street at seven in the evening under a bright streetlight) lift one leg and shake and shimmy to get all that fabric back down where it belongs. Then, you pick up your pace and, ponytail swinging wildly pretend that it never happened.

And repeat about every tenth mile or so. Ahhh... Humiliation. When combined with car exhaust is a heady combination in which I suggest everyone partake on a regular basis. lol

Soooo... Yes. It is Thursday. And yes... I jumped on my scale. ***I freely admit that I was considering skipping this week's weigh in.*** And the verdict is: 333.6. Down 4.4 overall from last week. I figured it out (with my calculator, numbers make my brain melt) that 2.8 of that was most likely puff leaving me with a fat loss of 1.6 pounds. Not stellar. But, considering some of the less than optimal choices I made in the last week, not too shabby, either. 1.6 pounds is certainly not a fail and I will take it. :D

My cat is a weirdo.

It is only supposed to get up to 77 degrees, today. Then climb to a high of 88 on Tuesday then drop, again. I love days like this. :D

Okay, that is all I can think of to natter about, at the moment. I think I will go search out some brekkie. I'll catch all of you losers (and I mean losers in the best sense! :D <3 :D) later.

Oh! Speaking of losers... Fans of The Biggest Loser, heads up! The season premier is on Tuesday, the Twenty-First on NBC. Check your local listings for times, in your time zone. :D It starts at seven, around here. Okay, now I am going.

Ice Queen out.

Okay, I think I am Crazy

We finally got out to the lake to walk. Hips were okay, no real discomfort. I was able to stride out and really make tracks We walked a mile and a half tonight. By the time we got out there, it was already getting dark and we barely had enough time to get as far as we did before it got almost too dark to see where we were going. It felt good to move, again. I kept up with the boys, for the most part. We kept to the flatter parts of Normal and Kickass trails and it was easier on my poor old bod. :D

After our walk, I did something so totally out of character for me. I went right from the trail to the grocery store. No stopping at home for a shower, first. No putting on makeup, doing my hair all up, dressing, perfume and jewellery. Just me. No makeup, hair up in a bun, (where it lives 90% of the time) old knit capris showing the puff, layered tanks, complete with my big assed arms showing, starting to form bat wings included.

And ya know what?

I survived.

No one pointed or stared or ran screaming into the night. Children's faces weren't covered to shield them from the horror before them. I felt very daring and a little confident, too. I still have no plans to go everywhere bare faced and everything hanging out, that way. But I now know that it won't kill me if I have to on occasion.

Oh, Breyer's Smooth and Dreamy chocolate and caramel ice cream sandwiches? Yum! Not quite Skinny Cow, but respectable. I grabbed some at the store, tonight and had one after dinner. The ice cream was nice. Very smooth and creamy, decent chocolate flavour and there was some lovely caramel swirled through it. The "cookies" could be a little better. I found them to be too dry and a bit on the flimsy side. But they were nice and chocolaty. I'd buy them, again. :D

Bleargh! Husband is watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles. AGAIN!!!!!!

Oh and did I mention that he is now off for vacation? Until the 26th.

God is punishing me.

I don't know exactly why...

I just know that He is.

lolol

I owe Draz something I like about myself. For tonight, I like that I was fearless. Just for a little while. Maybe I am beginning to find a little of "me", again.

Good night, lovebugs. <3

The Hangover

I won't spoil for anyone who hasn't seen it. It was funny. Typical crude, sophomoric guy humour type of stuff. But a little better done than most. Interesting concept. We enjoyed it. But we don't really need to see it, again. It's what I call a "funny once" movie.

I ended up not making popcorn. None of us was in the mood for it. We had dinner a little on the late side so we weren't hungry.

I am getting the hang of my new photo software. Windows 7 is a bit different from Vista. I still need to practice opening photos in Paint... It is a lot different. But I'll get the hang of it. Otherwise, I like this new OS. It is smooth, fast and easy to use, once you find your way around a little. I like that it feels more solid and stable than Vista did. Vista was always a little... Goosey, I might say? Tho I did get used to it and liked it, too.

I already had to repair a couple of small chips on my manicure. Danged French chips so easily. I doubt it will survive past Monday. lol

It was a warm day today and now it is cooled off and a lovely, cooling breeze is blowing in my open windows. Husband and son are sleeping and I am enjoying  a little peace and quiet before I hit the sack. :D

Dang It All, Anyway

Chipped the polish on a nail. *sigh* I just did this mani, yesterday. And I have a spot that I have to fix, tonight. Maybe I'll just leave it and do a new mani, tomorrow. That's probably what I will do.

I am sitting at 1500 calories for the day. Not too shabby, for a holiday that is food-centric. I kinda overdid the ham, tho. It is salty and I am going to end up blowing up like a puffer fish. Pressure under my diaphragm; a sure sign I ate too much. I knew it would be, when I got my plate ready. But my eyes were bigger than my stomach. Funny how, with time eating smaller portions really starts to change how you can eat.

I didn't eat nearly as much as I normally would and I am stuffed to the rafters and quite uncomfortable. I had ham, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus and a very small serving of mashed potatoes. Just a few bites. I just wanted a little of the flavour without doing serious harm to my daily total.

It was a bright, shiny, windy day today. A little cooler than I would have liked but nice, none the less. Son had to work, today. Husband was off. His rocker. Sorry... Couldn't help myself. *evil grin*

We are watching a DVD of old Johnny Carson (first person to say to their self "Who's Johnny Carson?" gets their ass kicked lol) clips. Funny stuff.

And...

That's all I have, right now. I just love it when I am typing along and I go brain dead. :P