Caturday

Hello everyone. How's tricks?

Things are pretty fine, in these parts. It is pretty day and it is supposed to warm up, later.

Yesterday was a good food and water day. I came in under 1200 calories and got all of my water down the hatch. I also glugged two big glasses of Crystal Light and two big mugs of coffee. I ended the day nicely hydrated.

*sigh* Weigh in tomorrow. I am not going to lie. I am stressing. I am really fearing the scale, in the morning.

Stupid, huh?

Not Too Much Going On

Hello raindrops. How was your day?

Mine was pretty routine. Housework, laundry, did my nails... That sort of thing. I am a little high on calories, today. Stupid almonds. lol I know it isn't the almonds' fault. It is mine. I am the one who chose to have a few. And a few more and a few more...

We didn't walk, today. We got out to the lake a little late and tried to walk but the bugs and gnats were so thick, I could barely breathe and I just couldn't stand the thought of fighting through those swarms for two miles. As I told husband, he looked back and realised that he had left the lights on on the car, so we went back. We drove around, looking for a spot to park and walk, but by then our hearts weren't in it so we just came home. We have decided that tomorrow we will park down at Fry's and walk on Willow Creek Road. That way we can get a good walk and since it is a main drag, it is well lit so it doesn't matter if it gets dark.

We won't be walking down at the lake now except on the weekends for a while, now.

Otherwise, not too much else going on. Same old, same old. I don't even have any thoughts running through my mind. it's as blank as a refrigerator door.

I dread weigh in, tomorrow. I am a bit puffy, right now. I am not expecting a grand number. Oh well. what happens happens. I'll live over it and move on. :D

Good night. :D

I Hate That Kid

I. Seriously. Hate. Him. You see, he isn't mine. He belongs to a neighbour. A neighbour who thinks that it is perfectly all right for their son to sit at a drum set out on their porch and play it at top volume for hours. Often beginning before eight fucking A.M. On a Sunday. After school. In the evenings when we are trying to enjoy a nice breeze and a quiet evening. It is drums. Drums. Drums.


And you know... If the kid were even halfway decent it might not be so bad. But I am sorry to be the one that has to say this... The kid. Sucks.

Big, green donkey dicks.

Sucks.

And every time he goes out there to pound and pound and crash and pound, I want to go out there and pound him.

Into the ground.

He doesn't get any better. He practices until my walls and windows rattle and I am contemplating burning that house down and he isn't getting any better. He learns new rhythms, new riffs, new cymbal crashes but his overall playing quality...

Sucks. And it never improves, no matter how much he practices.

And he plays so loud that with all of my double paned windows closed tight, my air and fans on, it still sounds as if he is practically inside my house.

When I start feeling as if I want to shout really rude, nasty things out my window at him, I have to remind myself to consider the source. These are people who think nothing of making so much noise that no one within a mile radius can hear themselves think. Kids running around all over the place, shouting and screaming, the Little Drummer Boy pounding, pounding, pounding and crashing, a chain saw going, going, going, country music at a decibel level that would make a 777 sound quiet all at once. (I am not inferring that country music fans are terrible, loud, unkind neighbours. Just these particular country music fans. There are plenty of rock fans who are just as horridly obnoxious...lol)

So, I am assuming that these people don't give a flying fuck that little Timmy (not his name, as far as I know) is driving their neighbours utterly batshit insane with his drums.


Well, I feel a little better. Guess I just needed to get that out. lol

Food is going well, today. And I am hydrating well. Good old Crystal Light. Gotta love it. And I think it is helping my puff. I have some puff but it isn't as bad as I think it otherwise would be. Of course, I could just be nuts. We didn't walk last night because Husband got home from work so late. Hopefully he will get his ass home a little earlier, tonight. He knows that this is important.

BRB, dog has to go out...

There. She went out to do all of her doodies. She will be having her dinner, soon.

I have a piece of chicken out for mine. And some Summer squash hanging out in my crisper. If it isn't raining, later I will fire up my grill and grill them. Nom, nom, nom.

Weigh in tomorrow. I wonder what awaits me? I can feel changes in my bod, so regardless of the number, I know that things are going well. But it would be nice to see that reflected in the number on my scale.

Head is bad, today. Banging and stabbing and making me wish that I could just pass out and make it go away.

Scale Insanity And an Answer to a Question

So... I jumped on my scale this morning and it registered 343.0. No change. Then I tried it again and 342.4. I then got 342.4 three more times. Le Sigh. I am being driven insane by this stupid scale. I have a great weigh in then a terrible one or two then another great one and it is frustrating.

I know for a fact that I am losing fat. I can feel it. I can see it in the fit of my clothes. So I am not worried. I just have to keep reminding myself that the scale is merely a tool, not my be all or end all. There are a lot of factors that can cause variations in scale numbers. I need to not let it make me nutzy.

Last night, we pounded out a fast two miles and it felt to get out there and go. Husband is starting to burn out on walking. Each time we go, he tries to get me to shorten distance and seems more and more reluctant to go. Whatever. I really don't give a flying shit what he thinks or what he wants and he is going. He no longer dictates everything. And if he doesn't like it, he can suck it.

Has anyone seen It's Complicated yet? Funny movie. I happened across it the other day when I was channel surfing through all the PPV channels. (One perk of Husband working for our local cable company is free TV including a full boat open box and DVR, and free high speed Internet and free phone, including long distance. Maybe that is why I am sticking around? lol) I caught the movie part way in. I need to watch it from the beginning. Should record it, shouldn't I?

Okay, I have a banner on my sidebar that stated that if someone asks you to cut your long hair off just say no. I was recently asked why. I have that banner because I am damned sick and tired of running up against the assumption that everyone who is growing their hair is doing so in order to donate it to Locks of Love. And that if we aren't growing our hair for the sole purpose of donating it, we are somehow uncaring, selfish, horrible, monsters who don't want to help kids with cancer.

Here are a few little things for the Locks of Love army to chew over. Locks of Love is a charity whose mission statement is to make human hair wigs to be sold to children with alopecia or another medical condition that results in permanent hair loss. Locks of Love does not give human hair wigs to children with cancer who will one day re grow their hair. Locks of Love doesn't give wigs to anyone. The wigs are sold to the parents of the child on a sliding scale after a lengthy application process that involves submitting financial records, tax returns, essays and photos. Applying to get a hair piece for a child from that organization is about as intrusive as registering to run for the office of President of this country. lol

Locks of Love has benefited from the massive media push that mistakenly started hyping that the organization gives wigs to children with cancer and that every hair donation will make a child happy and feel good about themselves. And Locks of Love has done nothing to correct this massive misunderstanding. People line up to have their hair chopped off. Schools hold hair donation drives and little girls and boys with long hair are expected to step up and do their part and if they refuse, they are hounded by students and teachers, even principals as being selfish brats who don't care about other kids with cancer. How fucked up is that? How would you like your child to be harassed because he or she wants to keep their hair? How about your workplace holding a chop drive and pressuring you into donating, even if you really love your hair and it is a part of you and you don't want to cut it.

Locks of Love doesn't make wigs of very much of the hair they collect. The vast majority of the hair donated doesn't meet their stringent standards. Hair to be used in wigs must be perfect, virgin hair. It can't be coloured, bleached, highlighted or treated with natural henna. It can't have a lot of split ends, any breakage or even a strand of grey. Very fine or coarse or very curly hair is also excluded. All hair that doesn't fit the criteria is either sold or thrown away. Hair that is sold goes in to extensions, is used to make cores for golf balls and so forth. Locks of Love has an immense cash war chest, thanks to all the money they make selling so much of the hair they collect from donations.

Locks of Love outsources the majority of the wig making work. And the majority of the hair used in the wigs they sell to children is sourced from India, China, Eastern Europe. Very little hair donated here in America is actually used.

Locks of Love will supply a synthetic wig (at a cost, of course) to a child with cancer who has lost their hair due to treatments and will one day grow it back. I ask what is the point? If a child with cancer really wants a wig, they are easily obtained. Locks of Love isn't the only place to get them. People, adults and children who are undergoing cancer treatment are often immunosuppressed and human hair wigs aren't always a good choice for them. Synthetic is better. BUT more important than a wig to anyone fighting cancer that I have ever spoken to is a cure. Beating the disease and getting well. I have yet to meet anyone with cancer who sighed, "I wish someone would give me a wig!"

I understand that there are a lot of people who will shave their hair off in support of a friend or loved one fighting cancer. Sometimes they donate the hair to be sold or sell the hair themselves, to raise money for a cancer hospital or for a person's medical bills. Or they will decide to cut it and donate it to a hair collecting wig making charity. I think that this is a beautiful thing to do. To give a piece of yourself this way, if done freely is a wonderful gesture. And I would never judge a person for making that choice. It is their hair and they are free to do with it as they choose!

And please don't judge me or anyone else who chooses to keep our hair.

There it is. My reason for my banner.

One might get the impression from the above that I am anti short hair, or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am very much pro do your own thing. Whether you rock a chrome dome or tresses that flow to the floor or beyond, or anything in between, it is all good. I do like and appreciate the beauty of long hair. But I also appreciate the beauty of a fabulous short cut. And I would never impose my personal hair philosophy on anyone else. I like to grow my hair out. It is super short (to me, anyway) right now because I damaged it horribly and am growing out and cutting away that damage. Otherwise, it would be hanging somewhere around my mid thigh in length. To me, my hair is a part of me, part of my identity and it causes me physical and spiritual pain to cut it. I debate and waffle for weeks, sometimes months just to decide to trim it. When I have had to cut it short, I cried for days and days. I guess I am a freak... lolol

Bleargh! The humidity went away for a while and the heat is on. It is only eleven and I am already considering closing my windows and firing up my A/C. This heat is making me swell up. And sweat. Which is always fun.

Laundry day, today.

Have you entered my giveaway, yet?

No?

 What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? lol

Click the link.

Go ahead.

Do it!

I dare ya!

:D

Let the Games Begin!

Today begins the Summer Challenge 2010.

Let's take care of a little business. :D

As I said in an earlier post, my goals for this challenge are simple. To stay on track, keep my calories under 1800 a day, to exercise more, stay hydrated and to get over my silly scale block. I think that this challenge will be good for me and assist me in reaching all of these goals.

Okay, now to the meat of the matter. The weigh in. I weighed in this morning, first thing. Of course, I would be puffy, this morning. lol Isn't that always the way. None the less, I get on me scale and took the required picture of The Number. :D

I weighed exactly one month ago and am down another 9.8 pounds, overall. :D

Start weight for this challenge: 366.0 pounds.

Okay, can I just gripe for one teeny second? My scale is a pretty good one. Accurate, doesn't complain when I step on it. (At least not so I can hear... ;)) But damn! It sure doesn't hold the weight number on the screen long. As soon as it flashes to show it has reached The Number, I have mere seconds, and not many, at that in which to snap that pic. Otherwise, I have no complaints about this scale. If anyone is curious about it, it is a Taylor brand digital scale. It will measure weight, body fat, muscle and water percentages and all that good gobbldy-gook. I just use the weight feature. I bought it at Drugstore.com. It was on sale and with shipping less then fourty bucks. So, if you need a good scale, I can heartily recommend this one. :D

All righty, then. Summer Challenge: On!

:D

I Can Haz Gumdrops?

On my fingertips, that is. ;)

I couldn't bear to wear that awful polish any longer and got busy and changed my mani. I haven't worn Orly Gumdrop, yet so I decided to take it for a spin. I like. :D

Gumdrop is a pastel green blue creme. It applies very nicely and is opaque in two coats. It was a little streaky in a couple of spots but I think that was due more to my application, not the polish. Any draggy spots smoothed to nothing with a nice topping of good old Seche.

This colour reminds me of China Glaze For Audrey. I don't know how close they really are. Maybe I will do a side by side, before I do a new paint job. Swatch them together.

Picture taken indoors in natural light not flash. Seche... Sooo shiny. :D

With flash. The flash really picks up the white base of these pastel cremes.

In other news of the day... I am having a good day. I am on track and in control and happy to be that way. Staying on an even keel continues to get a little easier and I have to think about it less and less. I know that this is no guarantee that every day will be the same but for right now it is good and I'll take it and be grateful.

I have come to accept that this is how I will have to eat for the rest of my life. I will have to keep my calories at a certain level while the weight is coming off and then at a certain level to keep it that way. I will always have to be mindful of what I am putting in my mouth and why and I will most likely have to track my food in one way or another, for always. And I am perfectly okay with that.

I get that I will never be able to eat like a "normal person"; whatever that means. If that means pounding double cheeseburgers and chocolate milkshakes whenever I want, then no. I will never be able to eat like a normal person. But I will be able to eat like a normal person. For my "normal". Whatever that normal is going to look like. Right now, in this moment my normal looks like it does, right now. As I change, so will my normal. And, when that day comes that I get to transition to maintenance, I will have a normal for that, too. It should be interesting to see how this all develops over time. :D

I kind of get a tickle out of knowing that my normal will not look like anyone else's normal. I am unique, I am different and special and I will have to have my own personal, fabulous normal. Custom designed just for me. :D :D :D

I wonder when I am going to be ready to get on the scale, again? The thought has begun flitting, oh so briefly through my brain, lately. Perhaps, one day soon, that little flitting thought will become action. I'll just let it happen when it happens. :D

Another Good Day

Well, another successful eating day in the books. And I have set a personal record. Thirteen days binge and feeding frenzy free. Just good, solid, on track healthy eating.

They say that if you do something consistently for thirty days it becomes a habit. This is a habit that I could really learn to live with.

Calories for today were: 1530.

I need to go back through my blog and see when I last weighed. I think it may be close to a month ago.

Urgh! I so don't want to get on that damned scale. I dread it so much. I know that it will give me good news... I can feel and see the difference but I still dread and fear it. I think about bringing it into my bathroom, initializing it and stepping on and I start to shake, my brain closes down and I just want to run and hide in a cave, somewhere.

I am such a weirdo drama queen idiot. lol