Monday, Monday

Good Monday Morning!

The weekend wasn't much of anything. I was a total sloth. I mean, total. I sat around all day, yesterday trying to get my nail art right. Absolute fail. Jacked up funky French tips. I need to get this shit off my nails before it drives me crazy. Oh no, this design didn't take all day, I did another one that was a total wreck and had to be cleaned off after hours and effort and dry time in between stages. and just... gah!!!

Eating, yesterday? Gah!

Gah!

I am drinking coffee, answering e-mails and trying to get a blog post in before my Internet decides to go tits up on me, again. The dumbassery it takes to launch a new Internet service and not upgrade the infrastructure that has to carry it is mind boggling to me. Nodes keep crashing, there is noise in all of the lines and they are spending more man hours and money putting out fires and patching it together than if they had just done it properly in the first place. But what do I know? The increased speed and capability of the new Internet is nice but it doesn't do me a hell of a lot of good if it is down. KnowwhatImean?

Okay, I need another cup of java and I need to get my day started.

A Double Dose of my Crazy, Just for You: Bring on the BYOC

Hello hinnies. Time to do the BYOC thang. I missed last week, so I am doing a Double Feature, this week. I get yappy in this one so buckle up, kids.You're going to be here for a while.

 1. Name a Valentine gift you would NOT want to receive.

 Herpes.(Hey, you asked. :P) An appliance. Clothes. A bottle of body wash... You get the idea. STDs and normal, everyday type items are off limits when it comes to pressies.


 2. What’s your vacation personality? Do you act/eat/talk/do things differently or completely opposite from when you are not on vacation?

I go into total chill mode. I let go of all responsibility and thought of the everyday and I throw myself completely into relaxing, enjoying myself and letting others do the cooking, cleaning and fretting. 

A vacay sounds really, really nice, right about now...  

 3. Describe yourself in 5 POSITIVE words.

Weird
Loyal
Tenacious
Accepting
Passionate 

 4. Do you have any phobias or irrational fears or dislikes?

I am absolutely phobic about heights. We are talking freak out just seeing high places on TV or in a movie. I have been known to panic and nearly pass out at the top of an unfamiliar flight of stairs (imagine how fun it is to live in a home with a staircase. I am still nervous when I hit the top of the stairs to go down. And my room is, you guessed it... Downstairs.) and can't bear even standing on a dining chair. Glass walled elevators are unthinkable, I can't handle them. I can't be near a window on any floor above the ground floor of a building and forget about stepping out on a roof. Not going to happen. 

I am afraid of the dark and I sleep with a light on. 

Clowns creep me out. Totally. Creep. Me. Out. *shudder*  

 5. Have you ever bought undies/bra/lingerie for someone else? Or has anyone ever bought them for you? How was the “experience”?

Nope. I don't buy undies for others (if you don't count picking up packages of Hanes or Fruit of the Loom for my guys) and I don't want others doing so for me. I have very specific tastes in undies and "sizing issues" and have no wish to inflict them on someone else. 

 6. Do you have an internal song you replay in your head that is just yours?

Aside from the odd earworm? Yeah, this one:

 

Hey, don't judge me. lolol

 7. I heard on the news the other day that something like 80% of people think a tan person is way sexier than “not tan”. How do you feel about that? Do you tan? Fake bake? Real sun? Or do you wear SPF 150?

Okay, I admit it, I like to be tanned. Not leathery, old suitcase dark brown (I am not trashing people who are naturally dark brown, so stand down! I am stating my preference for my own skin.) but a nice, sun kissed glow? Yeah. I dig it. I usually end up with a mix of natural and applied tan in warmer weather. 

I can't just slap on any old sun protection or cosmetic that claims to have SPF as I am allergic to chemical sunscreens. I have to use a naturally sourced, mineral sunblock.  Those products are effective, tho I do tan some through them and they are stupid expensive. I know that my skin is more important than my budget but I often save money and get golden. 

Shopping for makeup is a lot of fun, let me tell you. I have to carry a list of chemical sunscreen ingredients with me and scrutinize each and every label of each and every item I buy. No ingredients list? No buy, no use. I wish that cosmetics companies would stop putting chemical SPF in almost every-fucking-thing they  release! I honestly believe that a lot of problems people have with their skin; redness, breakouts, itchiness and so forth is because they are sensitive to the highly irritating sunscreen ingredients packed into everything from moisturizer to lip balm to leave in hair conditioners. 

Not that I am ranting, or anything...  

 8. Do you vote in the presidential election? Do you vote based on news, family opinions or research or your gut?

Yes, I vote. I don't vote based on news or family opinion or other external factors. I vote my conscience and my gut. Yes, that usually ends up with me voting down my party line, but not always. 

And that is as far as I am willing to discuss anything political on this blog. 

9. Do you have any odd little OCD-ish quirks?


I don't like odd numbers, so I had to add an extra question to this BYOC to end on an even number. I also like things balanced, symmetrical, even. I think that is one reason why I like more traditional, formal decor. Contemporary decor tends to be too off balance to please my eye and brain and my sense of what is right.

10. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Yeah. I'll get right on that. :P

More Sunshine

I am growing tired of the sunshine. We need rain so badly and it is so dry. The only precip we have had all this Winter was a small snowstorm the first of December and a few sprinkles of rain. It is going to be a bad fire season, this year and I am soooo happy that we aren't living in the forest.

I need to get my lazy arse in the shower and get myself pulled together. I would like to run out to Ross, later. Hopefully, they will have the new Color Club Spring collection in. It's been a while since I have found anything good there so it's time. Yes, indeedy.

I am having good day  s and bad, with my eating. Today is going very well. May it continue. I need to make it continue. This whole bullshit of "I'll just eat this today and start again, tomorrow", can't continue. It just can't because tomorrow isn't the right time Now is.

Yesterday was headbanger day. My head was so bad that I wished that my brain would implode and I wanted to throw up all day. Urgh. I still haave a headache but at least I can function, today.

Marley keeps trying to climb on me so that he can get warm. He is under the impression that I am a human cat warming device.

What a Bunch of Whiners

The Biggest Loser is populated by a bunch of pissers, moaners, complainers and whiners, this season. Seriously. Waaahhh, waaahhh, waaahhh. Excuse, excuse, excuse. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

I am no better; not really. That is all I have fucking done, this last year. Whine. Complain. Make excuses. This season is actually a learning experience for me. And it is holding up a mirror in front of my face and showing me my own bullshit. Because I sure am full of it. Bullshit. Stuffed to the gills with it. Stuffed to the gills with excuses and complaints and victim mentality and nonsense.

Oh yes. I see it. And I am turning it around. Step One, completed. I bought batteries for my scale and grew a set and stepped on it. 291.0 pounds. *sigh* It is a good news/bad news scenario. The bad news? I am up eight pounds for the year. Good news? I am still down seven, overall for the year. Not good and I am hardly happy or impressed with myself. But I am glad. Oh-so-very-very-very-glad that I didn't blow myself right up over three hundred, again. That is something that could have so easily have happened. *blows out a huge sigh of relief*

Step Two, in progress. Stay on track. Stay accountable to the most important person in this whole thing. Me. (No, not you, Me/Draz lol tho yes, to you, too. ;)) I am what matters, here. And I do matter and I have to keep reminding myself of this fact each and every frakking day. Because I am worth it, dammit! Each and every one of us are worth it! We really, really are! I have to constantly guard against sliding back into my old thought patterns and hate self talk and self loathing. It isn't easy. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be hated by others and I most certainly don't deserve to be hated by myself.

Step Three, in progress. Fluids; three quarts a day, minimum. At least tow quarts a day must be plain water. I am not going to force myself to down six quarts of water a day. I am not going to force water to the point that I am gagging every time I pick up my water bottle. Hydration should be healthy. Not drudgery and torture. When I start feeling as if I am being water boarded, it is time to re think my approach. The thing is, by setting a three quart target, I am coming in at closer to four. I can live with that and I think that is good, for me.

Step Four, exercise. Silence is telling.

So, that is where I am, right now. Welcome to February. No more wasted time.