Got Back In

Weirdness... Couldn't get back into my blog for a while, there. I finally figured out how so now when it happens again, if it happens, again I won't be trapped out.

It's warming up. Mid eighties, we have had to turn on the air in the afternoons, it isn't super hot around here but because of the way this place is built the sun bakes down on us and turns this place into an oven in the afternoon and the air makes it more pleasant so on it goes. Add to the heat the fact that Smoke Man insists on blowing his obnoxious cigarette smoke all over the place and I don't enjoy the "fresh air" so much.

I want to move. Seriously. I am over this condo. And, since we had Sabryna put to sleep (on March 29th) we don't have to stay here any longer. Not really and I want to start looking. Seriously looking and I want to move.

William keeps talking about getting another dog. I don't want another dog, right now. Not in this condo and honestly, I am just not ready to add another dog to the family at the moment. I still miss my Velcro dog too much. But Mr. Stubborn keeps looking at dogs online. *sigh* I told him that when we find and move into the house that I want... Largish, single level (I am over stairs, thankyouverymuch!) bells and whistles that I crave, all hard surface floors and a large, securely fenced back yard, we will get another dog. I think that is a fair compromise.

I am healed up from my laproscopic gallbladder removal that wasn't in March. Hell of a thing, a surgeon not being able to find a person's gallbladder. I am not too surprised, it was a remote possibility, as it couldn't be imaged on the studies before surgery or on the CAT scan I had after. So, I still have that malfunctioning piece of shit in my bod making me miserable, now and again. *sigh* If it goes critical, we'll have to deal with it but for now, I'm just going to leave it be. I have a good prescription anti nausea med that I can take from time to time when I need it and other than some discomfort from time to time, it isn't too bad. I can live with it, for now.

I had a nice chat with my mother, yesterday, I called to wish her Happy Mother's Day and we talked for a good while. She is doing pretty well. Feeling good. I am going to respect her privacy and not go into too much detail here, but she had some treatments and is receiving some others and has some upcoming. She feels good and has had some good results. I am overjoyed by this, and thrilled at how well and strong her voice sounded on the phone, yesterday. I am hopeful that she is going to be with us for a long time to come.

On the migraine front:

Imitrex: Fail
Propranalol: Fail
Topomax: The Jury is Out. It is promising, We'll see.

Goodbye Aunt Bev

My heart is heavy and my spirit is weeping. My Aunt Bev passed away from breast cancer, today. Aunt Bev was a pretty incredible lady. She was intelligent, wise, funny, sarcastic and made a mean mai tai. Aunt Bev was a woman of deep faith, she loved her family and was a loyal and devoted friend. Everyone who knoew her loved her and I will miss her terribly.

Winter Sucks and I am Tired of It.

Cold. Yuk. February, that deeply chilled month leading into March.

This Winter has been weird... Warm days, deeply cold days. Days of insane wind, sudden, wild snow then warm days, again. At least the snow hasn't been bad. They guys have only had to clear the drive and put down ice melt a few times. yesterday, it was sunny, chilly but not too cold then as the sun went down, the temp plummeted and the wind kicked up and we woke to an inch or so of dry powder. It was clear, the sun was shining and reflecting on the snow crystals being blown around. the air looked as if it was full of diamonds. It was kind of gorgeous.

But I am ready for Spring. And for Summer, when I get to bitch about how hot it is and how I am longing for Autumn. LOL

I have my follow up at the doc, in the morning. Nine-fifteen. What kind of insane time is that to have too be at the doctor, I ask? Oh well, it's a follow up so I can have coffee before I go in.

That's really about all I have to yap about, right now. Except I seem to have a bug nite on my hand. I don't know how I got it but it sure is itchy.

Humiliated, Stupid and Pissed

My feet are cramping. Nice. As if I need this, right now.

I had to go to the doc, this morning to get my yearly blood work and get my scripts renewed. While I was in the exam room, I had to tell her why I didn't go to my consult with the surgeon and I started crying. Dammit! I thought I had it controlled but no. I started crying, again. Embarrassing. I am the stoic one, the collected and calm one. Yeah, right. Get myself together, sort of. Sitting in the lab so that Drac can draw blood and I start crying again.

Embarrassing. Again.

So I get done, make my follow up appt, and I decided to head to Hellmart and pick up a few things. Body wash, shampoo, conditioner... The usual. My fave shampoo and condish? They don't carry them. Of fucking course. Since I was already wrought up, I felt like crying again. Over shampoo and conditioner. Embarrassing and stupid. I kept it together. Got my body wash, Hellmart didn't have the cotton rounds I like, didn't have Precision Tip Q-Tips, but I did find a nail polish and a lip gloss that I wanted to try. Checked out. Just those few things? Thirty clams.

Then off to Walgreen's. They have my shampoo and conditioner. And the new Nivea Lip Butters that I like so much were BOGO 1/2. Grabbed two. Got my cotton rounds and Precision Tip Q-Tips. Another thirty bucks.

I decide to run into the grocery store and get a few things. Pick them up, having shopped carefully so as to not go over what was available on my debit card (as I was now nearly out of cash) everything rings up and fuck. My card declined.

Humiliating.

Now here is where the stupid comes in. I should have checked my e-mail on my phone, right there. It would have told me that I was two dollars short on my debit card. I had five in cash. I could have given the checker the cash then run the rest on my card and it would have been fine. But no... I panic, I am ready to start howling, again so I just told her to forget it and went to my car, clutching the coffee I had bought earlier and angry as hell with myself.

Got into my cat, checked my e-mails and realized that I was a fucking idiot and felt like a humiliated, fucking idiot.

I am so over today already.