Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Zits? What The? And Revealing Something Major to Me...


At my age?

I'm forty-frakking-eight and in the last week I have had no fewer than three huge, juicy zits. I don't break out anymore. I just don't, And well I shouldn't. I mean, I am dealing with the early signs of Crone; fine lines, a few wrinkles popping up, a little saggy action here and there, hooded eyes... It happens, I accept it and I am okay with it. I lied, I'm not but yeah, whateves. I don't think that I should be forced to put up with zits, too. I just don't. I think it should be zits or wrinkles. 

Not both. 

Oh no. 

Not both. Not fair. Not acceptable. 

So, the last couple of days were good. I ate well, got my water. I am planning to start walking again, soon. Once I get over the initial goofy-ness. I always go through a phase where I feel a bit light headed, weak and strange and unwell-ish as I get on track and my bod adjusts. I go through it, every time. I know that I need to get past it then I am good. 

I'm not flawless... I munched a couple of handfuls of nasty store brand potato chips, yesterday and killed a single serving bag of Doritos, today. I logged the calories. I am not beating myself up. I am human. I am flawed. And so it goes. 

I am not doing this on my own, this time. I am getting help. 

Big help. I made a momentous decision and have decided to go forward with having WLS. I had my first appointment at True Results in Scottsdale, last week to see about getting a Lap Band. The appointment was a good one, I qualify, (duh!) my insurance covers it. I have a documented history, co-morbidities, a frightening family history and a terrible personal history at weight loss attempts. I have some hoops to jump through before my insurance will approve; actually, it is my husband's company. go figure. Whatever. If they want to me to jump, I'll jump. I have to do four months of supervised by the center dieting, have a psych eval, (that should be fun, I've never done that, before) have a consult with a nutritionist. True Results is in network and everything is covered. Yay!

I am not going into this lightly. I have done my research, time and again. My eyes are wide open. I understand the benefits, the risks, the statistics. I have gone over this six ways from back and forth. Debated it, debated it, again. I tried on my own. Tried so hard and I thought, I really thought I had it beat. But I didn't. I just didn't. I need help. And I am not too proud to admit it and I am not too proud to reach out and take it. So that is where I am with that. I have officially begun my four month hoop-jump.

I don't expect everyone to agree with my decision and that is just fine. I know what some people will think:

 I haven't. Trust me. I know that in the past I was outspoken that I could do this on my own. I thought that I could. I really thought that I could. But I also said that I wasn't opposed to WLS, that I fully respected anyone who made that decision for themselves. I still feel that way. I feel that everyone needs to do what is right for them, make the decisions, choices that are right for them, that work for them. I don't dictate, I don't judge. I am not living in someone else's body or life, I am not going to tell them how to care for that body or live that life.

I feel very good about this decision. I have no nervous feeling about this decision, no doubts, no second thoughts. I am calm, steady, this is right.

My cat is bugging me for treats. Greedy little orange fuzzbutt anyway. 


  1. WLS is a hard decision and it isn't right for everyone. But if it is the path you've chosen, I wish you nothing but luck on it! But let me say this -- don't let others get you down. Once in a while, you're going to have someone give you a hard time and you have to find the inner strength to tell them how you feel. I know there will be times you will want to SCREAM, but it won't help. Just stay calm and do what you have to do. It will prove that you are at peace with where you are and your choices. I look forward to continue hearing about your life even if we aren't on the same path! Hopefully this will be the plan that really helps you! Good luck!

  2. Good for you. I love my lapband. It not only helped me lose 80 pounds but keep it off for almost three years. Do not let anyone tell you it is the easy way out. no no no. It takes work and willpower BUT, as a volume eater it has curbed that ability.
    I wish you nothing but the best and smooth sailing. You can do this, I know. I was 58 years old btw, so it is not just because I had a young metabolism, I am full crone ;)

  3. Thanks for popping by my blog. Its nice to know someone is still out there. :)

    I'm proud of you for taking the step toward WLS and doing what is best for you. I can't wait to see the next stage of your journey.


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