Saturday, March 31, 2012

Out Like a Lamb

So, I finally go over the flu. I still have a residual cough, but it is getting better, slowly, every day. I hope to shake it completely, soon. I am still blowing thick, green goo out of my head, too. Yuk.

I have hit 300. again. I feel like such a total cow. A pig. A horror show on wheels. I need to get my shit together and get back to where I was before I took this long, idiotic detour and do it fast before I really end up in trouble. I hate myself, right now.

The weather is beautiful... Warm and sunny. Seventies. It is supposed to be in the mid fifties, tomorrow then warm back up as the week progresses.

I did my roots, the other day and applied dye all over my hair. My colour is smoother, lighter and the choppy and uneven spots are all blended away and I am even happier with how it looks.

I feel as if I don't deserve to blog. I need to get over that and get back to blogging.

I hate this new interface. I suppose I will have to get used to it, as stupid Blogger seems to think it is Facebook. Blech.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Germ Bag

My fucking husband gave me the fucking flu.

That is all.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Bob Harper; Hipster at Large

Anyone watch the busted up all over the place episode of The Biggest Loser last night? Did you get a load of Bob's getup at the weigh in? WTF? Really, Bob? bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that I wasn't the biggest loser this week. Well, I was a loser but not the right kind of loser. :P gag

I am still working with Imitrex. I have used it three times, so far and it was somewhat successful, once. I took it the other night just as I got an aura and it stopped the worst of my headache. I slept really well, that night, had weird dreams and then the next afternoon I had a rebound that hit me without any warning and almost put me to bed. I don't know... *sigh* I'll keep up with it for a while, I think that some med need to be worked with a bit but so far, I am hardly impressed.

I am so ready for Spring. It is cooler, today. It was chilly, yesterday, there was zero humidity and so crazy windy that I feel dessicated, today.I feel as if I have been through a dehydrator and turned into fruit leather. Blech! I am drenching myself in oil and lotion and moisturizer and I am still dry as a cracker. I need warmer days and milder nights. Nao!

Okay, the Red Team and the Black Team are all a bunch of idiots. They can't see the danger right in front of them. They can't see that Conda worked them, that she is just out to protect her brother and that they have a plan to be one and two and to hell with the rest of them. None of them can see Conda's working both teams and none of them saw her smirking and grinning behind her hands, running to the other team to work her plan. They are all idiots and blinded by the "feeling of family" and she is sucking it all up like a vampire. They all deserve what they will get at her hands.

Anywhoozle. I have stuff to get done and had better get to it. 

Brekkie: Coffee and a protein and fruit smoothie.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


I don't know... Imitrex doesn't seem to be as effective as I had hoped. I took my dose the moment I had an aura but my head still hurt. Not as bad as usual but yeah... It still hurt. It is worse, this morning. I almost feel as if this is a rebound. I will rebound pretty hard after any pan reliever taken before or during a migraine. I am going to keep working with Imitrex for a bit and see if I can make it work but so far, I am not all that encouraged. Blast it. I'll discuss this with my doc next time I see her, which should be in the next few weeks or so... I need to have a confab with an ENT then go back to see my PCP and by then I should know if Imitrex is going to be my bitch or not.

It's a pretty morning. Sunny and up to 42, already. It is supposed to hit seventy for a high. Woo hoo! It should be a perfect afternoon to get out to the lake for a nice walk. I neeeeeed exercise. And fresh air. And out of this damned house.

My day is starting well, I've had my coffee and smoothie. Let's keep it on track until and through lunch, shall we? I am back to taking this hour by hour, meal by meal. I have sucked, strayed far off my path and I want to get back on it so it is time to re train my brain and my bod. Back to work. I still have a lot of it to do.

Okay, time to get my day started. Sunday... Can't help being lazy as shit on Sunday. :P

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Of Auras and Imitrex

So, let's see if this shit actually works. I had an aura (mine consists of flashing pindots of light) and just took my first dose of Imitrex. Please work! I hope it kicks in soon, since my head is already hurting. We'll see...

Friday, March 2, 2012

Post Number Two of the Day: BYOC Yeah, Baby! Let's Get Cray-Cray

1.  Since I talked about psychics this week - I'm curious....if you could see one for free and you could only ask one question - what would it be?

*  "Will I ever be free of my marriage?"

2.  What's your favorite ice cream flavor and topping?

* Butter Pecan ice cream is like a frozen little orgasm on my tongue. Toppers? Uh... Caramel. Duh! Top butter pecan ice cream with caramel (salted caramel?!?!?!) and I won't just eat it, I'll rip off all of my clothes and roll in it. In public. Moaning in ecstasy the whole time.

3.  What's your preferred method of working out?  DVDs, an external gym, gym inside your home, classes?

* Walking. I am a walker. I like to walk. When I was younger, I would take off and walk for hours, all day, sometimes. I didn't care where I went, I just wanted that freedom, the fresh air, the time alone with my thoughts and the songs in my head. (Yes, I am certifiable.) I still like to walk. I love getting out of this damned house and feeling the breeze on my face, seeing the sky, the clouds and listening to the tunes from my phone pouring into my ears as I log mile after mile. I love the way it makes me feel, how it makes my blood sing. 

A very dear and generous friend <3 recently sent me some workout DVDs and I am going to dig into them and see what I can do and make work for me, they should help me get exercise when getting out to the trails isn't an option.

4.  If you work outside the home or if you ever did or will in the future - do you think it's better/easier to work with men or woman?  Who do you work mostly with now?

* I am a housewife, so obviously I don't work outside the home, at present. When I did, I worked with more men than women. When I did work outside the home, the majority of my co workers were men, almost all of the management were men. But more and more women were infiltrating and even moving into positions of authority (I worked my ass off and gained one of those positions) and now, there are a lot of women in that industry. But the top jobs are still predominately occupied by men. *sigh* We are still fighting for our rights and the respect that we, as humans deserve. But this isn't a rant about women's rights. ;) lol

I actually like working with men. I feel comfortable with men in a professional setting and I gel well with them on the job. It isn't about sex, it is just about my personality; mine groks men, in the workplace.

5.  Repeat question.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

* In real life, I am working with my doc to get my health issues squared away. It doesn't seem to be anything major, just chronic and hopefully, I will be feeling much better, soon. I also got a 'script for Imitrex for my migraines. I am keeping my little fingers crossed that it is going to help my poor, embattled head. I have been fighting falling into a bad depressive spell. I am trying really hard to hold it together, get my shit together and get my ass back on track. I need this. And I will, some way, make it happen. I can. I have. And I fucking will. 

In blogland, I am just drifting in and out. I tend to withdraw into myself when things get heavy and things have been heavy in my head and in my fears and I haven't been talking them out, I have been internalizing and withdrawing. Not healthy, I know. I need to reach out and express, not hold it all in. I tried, in my last couple of entries. Maybe I'll do better. 

Wow. Just wow. I can't seem to shut up, today. And look, I answered the last question. Proof that I am running off at the mouth. So to speak...

Ahhh... Coffee... Nectar of the Gods!

I am in the process of downing my third huge mug of the day. Maybe I'll get some energy and vibrate and be happy, now. Coffee rules. I don't care what anyone says.

So, doctor's visit went pretty well. I was freaking out over, it is pretty certain, nothing. I do have issues and I do need to see an ENT specialist but it is because of my constant nasal allergies wreaking havoc in my throat. I have pitting and swelling and irritation and my poor old tonsils are huge. So, things aren't happy in there. My doc gave me a 'script for a nasal steroid that should help. It should ease my constant nasal allergies, soothe my sinuses and even help with my horrible deep, dark circles. I have dark circles that no amount of corrector and concealer can cover. Apparently caused by my allergies. So, I should be feeling better, soon. And the ENT can do whatever needs to be done for my throat and tonsils and I will be feeling better for that, soon too. Yay.

I also talked to my doc about my headaches. I now have an official diagnosis of migraine and she gave me 'script for Imitrex. 50 mg. I am to take it when I get an aura and it should abort my headache. Boy, do I ever hope it works. I could use some pain free days.

My blood levels are good. My "bad cholesterol" is a tad high, but nothing to worry about, if I just get my ass back on track and get some consistent exercise. That is a good reason to get my shit together, no? Other than that, things are looking pretty good. So, once I get this throat issue solved, I will be a happier camper. But it looks as if I don't have any reason to freak out and I feel a huge sense of relief. *whew*

It is so chilly and incredibly windy, today. Brrr!!! But it is supposed to warm up really nicely, soon. Seventies by early week, then cool back into the sixties. I can live with that, fo shizz.

Hey, the first day of Spring is this month, kiddies! We also make the penultimate Ch. 13 payment, this month! Holy shit, this time, next month, it will almost all be done. Just the last payment and that last stupid legally mandated  class (Thanks a lot, George W. Bush. You asshole.) and then discharge and our four year long nightmare will finally be over. From start to finish, this Ch. 13 has taken nearly four long fucking years. Anyone who dares to say to my face that bankruptcy is an easy out will get a face full of my fist, I swear to God.

Okay, Erika. Remember your blood pressure. *zen* *breathe* *ooohmmmmmm*

Still loving my hair colour. I am going to strand test and see if I can safely push my length a little lighter and banish more of the dark gold and the light reddish/strawberry tones. But yeah,,, Loving being a blonde, again. It just feels so right, so me. I am all for having the hair, whatever that hair might be that makes us happy. So, if you are a blonde, a brunette, a redhead or pink or purple haired in your heart, do it. Seriously. Life is too fucking short to not love your hair. :D

Think I'll have some lunch. I'm hongry.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

In Like a Lion

Happy March.

Well, the first part of this year is flying by. Too bad I'm not particularly having fun. Whatever.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Follow up to get my blood work results and see what the high holy hell is going on with my throat. Blech. It's been lightly sore on and off and feels kind of swollen in there. I am, of course a little freaked out, as my brain leaps to the worst case scenario. Can't help it. Anyway, I'll see what she says, tomorrow. I also want to have a confab about my headaches and I think that I'll get a 'script for something to ease my allergies. It is March and it is windy and my head is about to explode and if I blow my frakking nose even one more time, I am going to go crazy.

I am eating like an idiot. Chips? Ugh. The other day, I had an epic day. Sat in this house, all the blinds closed and ate and cried. Did laundry. Ate. Cried. Ate some more. Cried. Ate and did vacuuming and ate. And I think you get the idea and since then I have just been spiralling out of my mind. I need to get myself back on track and under control again and this bullshit has to stop.


Seriously. What the fuck is my problem? I think that part of it is that I am freaking out and reacting to that but this isn't good. Not at all. *sigh*

I am a mess.

It is so windy, tonight. But it is supposed to warm back up. We are expecting highs in the seventies early next week. I think that Spring is trying to spring early. Fine with me. I am over Winter. What Winter we had...