Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Humiliated, Stupid and Pissed

My feet are cramping. Nice. As if I need this, right now.

I had to go to the doc, this morning to get my yearly blood work and get my scripts renewed. While I was in the exam room, I had to tell her why I didn't go to my consult with the surgeon and I started crying. Dammit! I thought I had it controlled but no. I started crying, again. Embarrassing. I am the stoic one, the collected and calm one. Yeah, right. Get myself together, sort of. Sitting in the lab so that Drac can draw blood and I start crying again.

Embarrassing. Again.

So I get done, make my follow up appt, and I decided to head to Hellmart and pick up a few things. Body wash, shampoo, conditioner... The usual. My fave shampoo and condish? They don't carry them. Of fucking course. Since I was already wrought up, I felt like crying again. Over shampoo and conditioner. Embarrassing and stupid. I kept it together. Got my body wash, Hellmart didn't have the cotton rounds I like, didn't have Precision Tip Q-Tips, but I did find a nail polish and a lip gloss that I wanted to try. Checked out. Just those few things? Thirty clams.

Then off to Walgreen's. They have my shampoo and conditioner. And the new Nivea Lip Butters that I like so much were BOGO 1/2. Grabbed two. Got my cotton rounds and Precision Tip Q-Tips. Another thirty bucks.

I decide to run into the grocery store and get a few things. Pick them up, having shopped carefully so as to not go over what was available on my debit card (as I was now nearly out of cash) everything rings up and fuck. My card declined.


Now here is where the stupid comes in. I should have checked my e-mail on my phone, right there. It would have told me that I was two dollars short on my debit card. I had five in cash. I could have given the checker the cash then run the rest on my card and it would have been fine. But no... I panic, I am ready to start howling, again so I just told her to forget it and went to my car, clutching the coffee I had bought earlier and angry as hell with myself.

Got into my cat, checked my e-mails and realized that I was a fucking idiot and felt like a humiliated, fucking idiot.

I am so over today already.


  1. Awwwww that sucks!! Hot bath (or shower) and a good book? I hope your feeling better now!

  2. major suckage. so sorry! hugs. i hate that fear of always hearing "declined." :(

  3. Sounds like a crappy day. I hope you feel better soon.

  4. Awe so sorry to hear you had a craptastic day. I hope today will be better. Hang in there!

  5. I have had too many days like that, too many 'decline' messages because I failed to check my debit card balance. Too many experiences like you have had today, and realized that my new attitude is 'fuck everything' except my cats, of course. The one thing that does help, 99% of the time is chocolate. Dark. Strong, like 72% cacoa. And a nap with a willing cat. Turn the phone off, the tv off, close the curtains and xanax if you have it (but don't say I told you). If not, more chocolate and a longer nap.


    And don't go out again today!

  6. oh I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It is so frustrating to have things pile up like that. I hope you are feeling better now <3


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