Monday, August 22, 2011

I Suck

I suck at staying on track.

I suck as a blogger.

I suck at exercise.

I suck as a bloggy buddy and support for my bloggy buddies.

I have just been sucking at everything.

I am on track, today. But I admit, I am afraid to get on my scale. I am afraid that it will show a small gain and I will go ballistic and spiral out of control and have a royal shitfit and then it will get really ugly.

I am afraid of everything, right now. I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to succeed. I am afraid to blog. I am afraid to read blogs.

Told ya.

I suck.


I need to remember to pick up my knitting needles to keep my fingers busy and not pick up something I shouldn't be snacking on. I need dish towels. And they aren't going to knit themselves. After starting and frogging four dish towels, I am finally on a roll and getting this one going well. So I don't suck at that. lol

It is so hot. Hotter than Satan's nutsack around here. Just as nasty and sweaty and yuk. Summer sucks big green ones.

It is good weather to eat light and stay on track. So, I am going to try to suck less at getting my mojo back and get more of this weight off. My job isn't finished, yet! I still have, assuming a goal weight of 140 about 140 pounds to go. This is not the time to get burned out... Or should I say, pull out of my burn out and power on to the finish. I can do this shit. Hell, I have done it. I certainly know how to get it done. My block is mental, emotional, to a certain extent. I know that I am attempting to comfort eat, to numb out, again. It isn't my old issues. This is more recent and it is time for me to get over the need to feed my way out of it and move the fuck on.

I need to blog more and read more blogs, return to my support system and offer support. These are so important to me and I have been neglecting myself and my friends, here. I feel so bad about that. And so ashamed for not being the powerhouse I want to be that I just avoid, avoid, avoid. And avoidance is the last thing I should be indulging in.

So, I have to stop that shit, too. Get back into my rhythm and push on.

And be here for you. You have all been here for me and I appreciate that so much. And I am determined to do the same for you.

Okay. I want to suck less.

I will suck less.

*broken record*


  1. I could've written this post, lol. I do good for about a frickin day & then poof something messes me up. I need to suck less too! And avoid less... lol

  2. I think in summer we're doing things rather than blogging.

  3. You don't're awesome! You're always entertaining and I love checking out both your blogs...I ROTFL everytime I read Satan's certainly have a way with words!

    Take one day at a time; that all we all can do and your goal will be accomplished in no time! Every day is a new beginning!

  4. I feel like I suck too...up 3 lbs. Not doing so great, but trying to stay motivated! Hugs!!!

  5. You don't suck! But even if you struggled yesterday or last week or whatever, what matters is what you do *today*.

  6. Sucking is a part of life. Sometimes we suck more than others. But at least you (and I and several others) know that sucking is not a permanent state of mind. It's just another deep sucky rut on the road of life!

  7. "I will suck less"..... made me giggle! :)

  8. Sometimes you have to take a time out. Not a get off the wagon, but a 'just stay put for a bit.' Catch your breath, then start back on the trail again.
    It's not Parcheesi; you don't have to go all the way back to the beginning. :D Step to the side. Check your map (goals, etc.) Step back onto the track and move on.
    No beating yourself up!!

  9. Yes indeed...I think the blogging about this quest is a wonderful way to keep yourself accountable. I remember when you did this before and how happy you were about that success. Don't let life kick your ass back down, my friend. I know you are extremely intelligent and you know how good this is for you. Don't defeat yourself, my friend. I'm rooting for you!! I haven't seen 140 since I was 43. Sigh...

  10. HANG IN THERE....if thats all you do thats good enough. I think that it takes us all time. I will be honest I spent a lot of the summer screwing around not getting the job done and didn't loose what i wanted too..shocking how you don't loose weight when you eat everything and don't exercise. Right now I am focusing on my eating and trying to get the exercise piece in when I can. I need to remember to be kind to myself. Not beat myself up and just keep plugging away. I always think about finding nemo and how he says "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming" I think that is going to be my mantra just keep on trying and in all reality I will have to try at this forever and that is an overwelming feeling sometimes. Just hang in there. We are here if you need us. Also, just remember as I posted on another page earlier today...this weight loss stuff isn't all farting rainbows, and shitting sunshine. IT is friggin hard and sometimes we don't want to do and we don't, other times we do and we get our asses in gear. Hang on and hang in and I look forward to some more posts. I will also be stalking...I mean following on twitter!

  11. lol...You sound just like me. I'm trying to get back to the blogging today - but keep reading what other people are up to instead.

  12. Someone said that SOBER stands for
    Son Of a B*tch - Everything's Real!

    And then it hits ya. And wow!
    You don't suck as much as you think you do!

    lol @ Satan's nutsack!


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