I suck at staying on track.
I suck as a blogger.
I suck at exercise.
I suck as a bloggy buddy and support for my bloggy buddies.
I have just been sucking at everything.
I am on track, today. But I admit, I am afraid to get on my scale. I am afraid that it will show a small gain and I will go ballistic and spiral out of control and have a royal shitfit and then it will get really ugly.
I am afraid of everything, right now. I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to succeed. I am afraid to blog. I am afraid to read blogs.
I need to remember to pick up my knitting needles to keep my fingers busy and not pick up something I shouldn't be snacking on. I need dish towels. And they aren't going to knit themselves. After starting and frogging four dish towels, I am finally on a roll and getting this one going well. So I don't suck at that. lol
It is so hot. Hotter than Satan's nutsack around here. Just as nasty and sweaty and yuk. Summer sucks big green ones.
It is good weather to eat light and stay on track. So, I am going to try to suck less at getting my mojo back and get more of this weight off. My job isn't finished, yet! I still have, assuming a goal weight of 140 about 140 pounds to go. This is not the time to get burned out... Or should I say, pull out of my burn out and power on to the finish. I can do this shit. Hell, I have done it. I certainly know how to get it done. My block is mental, emotional, to a certain extent. I know that I am attempting to comfort eat, to numb out, again. It isn't my old issues. This is more recent and it is time for me to get over the need to feed my way out of it and move the fuck on.
I need to blog more and read more blogs, return to my support system and offer support. These are so important to me and I have been neglecting myself and my friends, here. I feel so bad about that. And so ashamed for not being the powerhouse I want to be that I just avoid, avoid, avoid. And avoidance is the last thing I should be indulging in.
So, I have to stop that shit, too. Get back into my rhythm and push on.
And be here for you. You have all been here for me and I appreciate that so much. And I am determined to do the same for you.
Okay. I want to suck less.
I will suck less.