The Biggest Loser is populated by a bunch of pissers, moaners, complainers and whiners, this season. Seriously. Waaahhh, waaahhh, waaahhh. Excuse, excuse, excuse. Bitch, bitch, bitch.
I am no better; not really. That is all I have fucking done, this last year. Whine. Complain. Make excuses. This season is actually a learning experience for me. And it is holding up a mirror in front of my face and showing me my own bullshit. Because I sure am full of it. Bullshit. Stuffed to the gills with it. Stuffed to the gills with excuses and complaints and victim mentality and nonsense.
Oh yes. I see it. And I am turning it around. Step One, completed. I bought batteries for my scale and grew a set and stepped on it. 291.0 pounds. *sigh* It is a good news/bad news scenario. The bad news? I am up eight pounds for the year. Good news? I am still down seven, overall for the year. Not good and I am hardly happy or impressed with myself. But I am glad. Oh-so-very-very-very-glad that I didn't blow myself right up over three hundred, again. That is something that could have so easily have happened. *blows out a huge sigh of relief*
Step Two, in progress. Stay on track. Stay accountable to the most important person in this whole thing. Me. (No, not you, Me/Draz lol tho yes, to you, too. ;)) I am what matters, here. And I do matter and I have to keep reminding myself of this fact each and every frakking day. Because I am worth it, dammit! Each and every one of us are worth it! We really, really are! I have to constantly guard against sliding back into my old thought patterns and hate self talk and self loathing. It isn't easy. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be hated by others and I most certainly don't deserve to be hated by myself.
Step Three, in progress. Fluids; three quarts a day, minimum. At least tow quarts a day must be plain water. I am not going to force myself to down six quarts of water a day. I am not going to force water to the point that I am gagging every time I pick up my water bottle. Hydration should be healthy. Not drudgery and torture. When I start feeling as if I am being water boarded, it is time to re think my approach. The thing is, by setting a three quart target, I am coming in at closer to four. I can live with that and I think that is good, for me.
Step Four, exercise. Silence is telling.
So, that is where I am, right now. Welcome to February. No more wasted time.