The Biggest Loser is populated by a bunch of pissers, moaners, complainers and whiners, this season. Seriously. Waaahhh, waaahhh, waaahhh. Excuse, excuse, excuse. Bitch, bitch, bitch.
I am no better; not really. That is all I have fucking done, this last year. Whine. Complain. Make excuses. This season is actually a learning experience for me. And it is holding up a mirror in front of my face and showing me my own bullshit. Because I sure am full of it. Bullshit. Stuffed to the gills with it. Stuffed to the gills with excuses and complaints and victim mentality and nonsense.
Oh yes. I see it. And I am turning it around. Step One, completed. I bought batteries for my scale and grew a set and stepped on it. 291.0 pounds. *sigh* It is a good news/bad news scenario. The bad news? I am up eight pounds for the year. Good news? I am still down seven, overall for the year. Not good and I am hardly happy or impressed with myself. But I am glad. Oh-so-very-very-very-glad that I didn't blow myself right up over three hundred, again. That is something that could have so easily have happened. *blows out a huge sigh of relief*
Step Two, in progress. Stay on track. Stay accountable to the most important person in this whole thing. Me. (No, not you, Me/Draz lol tho yes, to you, too. ;)) I am what matters, here. And I do matter and I have to keep reminding myself of this fact each and every frakking day. Because I am worth it, dammit! Each and every one of us are worth it! We really, really are! I have to constantly guard against sliding back into my old thought patterns and hate self talk and self loathing. It isn't easy. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be hated by others and I most certainly don't deserve to be hated by myself.
Step Three, in progress. Fluids; three quarts a day, minimum. At least tow quarts a day must be plain water. I am not going to force myself to down six quarts of water a day. I am not going to force water to the point that I am gagging every time I pick up my water bottle. Hydration should be healthy. Not drudgery and torture. When I start feeling as if I am being water boarded, it is time to re think my approach. The thing is, by setting a three quart target, I am coming in at closer to four. I can live with that and I think that is good, for me.
Step Four, exercise. Silence is telling.
So, that is where I am, right now. Welcome to February. No more wasted time.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
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It's probably the hardest thing to face isn't it! No more excuses. I have given myself loads of them in the past. I still catch myself, I guess it's all a work-in-progress!
ReplyDeleteProud of ya' girl!! And yes, you are MOST DEFINITELY worth it! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I really think the toughest part is facing the scale. I finally stepped on Monday ._.
ReplyDeletelove you positive attitude. we can do it :)
ReplyDeleteHaha - you are accountable to ME too! Seriously - I want to throw Conda in front of a bus. Is she TWO? Talking under your breath and giggling is freaking bullying. UGH. I mean - it's a show - you damn well they bring people back and did you notice they lost more at home than many on the show? And both him and his sister kept up? Not sure if they threw the weigh-in....but geez.
ReplyDeleteAnd Erika. I love you. And you are worth it. Every single day.
I agree on the Biggest Loser. The year of no excuses doesn't seem to be working very well for them right now. Hang in there with your goals. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are all over this... just like you always seem to be!
ReplyDeleteI see you as a very positive person. Very right- on!
Good luck, I hope 2012 is a good year for you!
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog... love your no nonsense tell it like it is writing. :)
ReplyDeleteI tagged you in my post today. :)
ReplyDeleteFebruary will be an awesome month!! Hang in there!! I'm with ya on the exercise...I need to get with it.
ReplyDeleteI don't even watch tv hardly anymore. I am working late shift so I have been trying to work out after I take the kids to school.
ReplyDelete