Monday, February 21, 2011

Another Day of Fun and Dancing

In my dreams.

It is another day to get my shit together and stay on track, tho. Enough of this shit, this Food Fuckery (to borrow a term from a fellow blogger) has gone on long enough. I am not gaining weight, I am not slurping pizzas, burgers and tons of Chinese food but even healthy food can stall your fat ass if you eat too many calories worth of the shit.

And, too many I have apparently been consuming, considering the failure to move the numbers on my scale. *sigh*

So, I am on track right now. I just have to stay that way, keep my goal foremost in my mind and remind myself that allowing myself to continue to slip, to justify "just an extra bowl of cereal before bed" is a great way to spiral out of control, gain all of my hard won weight loss and be in dire trouble with my health, again. I am so not going back to that so it is time to suck it up and get over it and get on with it.

The thing is, it is head hunger, desires for mouth parties, old habits trying to rear their ugly heads. I am not experiencing a need to numb out or forget or dull pain or anger. It is just... Food Fuckery. And it is time to reign it in.

Food is nicely on track and water is headed down the tubes at the proper speed. My house is shining clean, my bathroom sparkling and smelling faintly of bleach and cleaner, floors done, broadloom vacuumed, dishwasher washing and laundry tumbling. So that is all under control, anyway. :P

Whine. I think I need a little low fat cheese to go with it. Actually, what I need to do is stop making bullshit excuses, indulging my old, bad habits and do what I need to do. I know how. Obviously.

I have a feeling you are getting as sick of reading my bullshit as I am of writing it. And trust me, I am sick of it.


  1. I'll never get tired of reading your blog, Erika. :) I understand the whining today and I feel like whining myself. We should make a trade. You have the house under control and my house is a mess. I have the food under control at the moment and I don't mind sharing. Lately, I've gotten myself into the habit of grabbing a protein shake anytime I get a craving for something bad. Plus, I slacked on the exercise yesterday. As I was telling Drazil, I think I need some of Granny Clampett's spring tonic or something.

  2. Head hunger is a good description. And we are not tired of reading your blog. It sounds as if the housework has been therapeutic for you to sort the food issues out and come to terms with them. Maybe it will do the same for me. So I'm off to do some laundry. ;-)

  3. We are not sick of anything about you. I am guessing YOU are sick of it though! I am now Officially Stealing the phrase "Food Fuckery." XOXOXOXOXO

  4. Nope - not sick of it cuz it's my bullshit too lately. Not happy you aren't happy - but happy I'm in good company. We're come out of this slump...cuz I totally took your helping hand when you offered it.

  5. Move on, Erika. I know you can do it and you know you can do it. For some reason, I actually had a day of having zero appetite. That hasn't happened to me in years. I hope it happens again today and maybe I can gain some momentum towards taking off some of my own weight. Unfortunately, when I look in the mirror I find myself thinking what is the point? I'm old and it shows and who the heck cares about the rest of me? My husband doesn't. My kids don't. And to be quite truthful, I don't anymore either. It'll never be what it was even if I could get this stubborn weight off of myself. Not even self-pitying, just facing some cold hard truths.

  6. Sorry I've been "gone" so long. It's almost impossible for me to post here. I don't know why it's so difficult--it's not on any other blog. Our computers must not be on good terms with each other.

    It's one thing to give yourself a kick in the ass when you need it. It's quite another, however, to beat the living shit out of yourself, and that's what you're doing. Ass kicked. It's over. Now move forward and stop hurting yourself. You're a great person, and we ALL love reading whatever you write. Always will.

    Look at how far you've come!! You've proved you can do this. There's no question about that. So when you decide you want to go for it again, I have not one doubt in my mind that you'll make goal. None whatsoever. You're the best, my long-haired friend. I'm pulling for you as hard as I can.


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