What Kind of Bullshit is That, Anyway???

I am watching Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss. I had to hit pause to blog this, really quick. The first person profiled is a young woman who weighed 369 pounds. When it came time for her first weigh in she was put on a freight scale on the hotel loading dock. She was told that she had to go on the freight scale because there were no regular scales that could weigh her.

A fucking freight scale for a woman weighing 369 pounds? For the record, you idiots (I am speaking to the producers at ABC) there are plenty of good quality, accurate scales that can weigh someone at 400 or even 500 pounds or more. And not put someone through the trauma of being weighed like a pallet of slabs of beef. What a bunch of sensationalized bullshit.

I cried as I watched that woman stand on the freight scale. I wept for her. For the humiliation she suffered by being weighed like a ton of goods coming off a truck. For being used for dramatic purposes. If someone put me on a freight scale and filmed it, I think that my heart would shatter from the utter humiliation. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.

I get that TV shows need a hook to interest their viewers. But sometimes they need to remember that the participants are human beings deserving of dignity. Isn't the fact that dangerously, morbidly obese persons are changing their lives and making a huge transformation dramatic enough? Do they have to heap this on them, as well? I know that the participants are adults and do this of their own free will. But I just cringe when I think of the fact that their very pain is being used as a selling tactic.

Producers of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss, (yeah, as if they read my blog... lol) there are plenty of good scales out there that will weigh even the heaviest mobile persons. If you are strapped for cash, maybe I can get the money together and have one sent to you. Let me know, mmmkay? Scales that don't involve humiliation on a loading dock.

Just saying.

Okay. Back to my program.

Yepper. I'm Still Alive

I am just incredibly boring and busy and don't have a shitload to yap about. Sometimes I don't write much. Others, you can't shut me up. I have just been taking care of hearth and home. Also playing over on my other blog a lot. I had some stuff to post, a couple of reviews, some press releases to publish.

And, okay.

Time to come clean.

I have become ever so slightly addicted to You Tube videos, lately. I have been watching a lot of vids on makeup application, nail tutorials and so forth. I feel so out of touch, anymore and the videos are helping me get a little more currant, again. I need to get out of my insular little, tiny world, more. And I think it is time to start subscribing to my favourite magazines, again. I need to break out, more.

Gah! It's Country morning on The Weather Channel. Can I rip my ears out, now?

Oh, in bod news: I haven't been on the scale because I am back in full fledged scale fear mode. Yeah, I know. I am weird in the extreme. But I am eating a lot better, staying more consistently on track. It feels good to be doing the right thing for myself and not stalling myself by stuffing my face. I am also walking a lot. A whole lot. It is great to be getting out there and really flying through a hard hike on Kick Ass Trail. The walk that not too long ago half killed me is nothing, now. I blow right past that gate and go on and on. And a lot faster than I used to. Now, we finish a near four mile walk in just over an hour.

I am feeling better all the time. Stronger and faster. My hips are even feeling a little better with consistent exercise. My poor knees, on the other hand. They sound like rock grinders. I am going to have to have a serious chat with my doc about them, when I see her in August. Hopefully she can help me with them or refer me to someone who can. There is a treatment I think it is called Synvisic (I am sure that I butchered that spelling. Medical stuff has weird spelling!) where the left over synovial fluid is drained from the joint and replaced with this fluid substance. It is supposed to really help the knees to function so much better and reduce or even, in some cases eliminate pain. How fabulous would that be?

Heh heh. I have finally killed my walking shoes. The poor things. The soles are falling apart and I have worn holes in the sides. I told William that no matter what, I have to have new shoes, this payday. My poor feet and ankles are suffering badly from the lack of proper support and cushioning. And let's face it, I feel like a ragamuffin out there, walking around in shoes that look as if they have been through a war. lol

I listen to Slacker (it's like Pandora, only better) when I am walking. I am steadily teaching it. I used to just accept whatever it dumped on me then I started actively hearting and banning songs. And it is slowly coming around to my way of thinking. I love being able to ban songs I find offensive. And Slacker lets you ban artists. You know what that means... I banned the Biebs. Yessss.!!! Look, I respect that everyone likes what they like. I don't judge. But, if I can avoid having to listen to what I don't, all the better. I have become an expert at hauling my phone out of it's little carrier, waking it up, unlocking the screen and hearting or banning or skipping a song all without losing a step, slowing my pace or losing my zone.

I am multitasker. Hear me roar.

So, did everyone have a good Memorial Day weekend? Ours was like any other weekend. We didn't do anything special. We did have to skip the lake, day before yesterday. The wind was blowing so hard that walking would have been impossible. It was stupid, nasty windy. High steady winds and gusts up to sixty miles per hour. Crazy, I tell you. I will walk in wind but I have a lot of difficulty breathing in wind, and when it gets to a certain point I have to stay in. It was also freakishly cool, this weekend. Not that I am complaining, mind you. It will get ugly and hot, hot, hot soon enough. It is supposed to be 82, today with a low but steady wind. Should be lovely for walking, this evening. :D

I am slowly changing from pale to golden. Yes, I know. Tanning. Bad. But, I am allergic to chemical sunscreens (yes, I have tried all of them) and mineral sunblock, while lovely, is cost prohibitive. If I use the proper amount every time I go out, I can blow through a tube in less than a week, easy. And at ten to fourteen dollars a pop, I just can't afford that. And, I have skin that tans though sunblock, anyway. Along with my high cheekbones and the shape of my nose, my skin tone and ability to tan is one of the visible traces of my Osage heritage.

So, gold I shall turn, I suppose. I go out mostly in the late afternoon/early evening so that minimizes my exposure to the worst of the sun. And since I spent so long either in the house or actively avoiding the sun, maybe it won't be too bad. I don't know. Maybe I just need to be out and free and if that means I tan a bit, well that is how it is going to be. I will deal with whatever, later.

Okay, so. Yeah. That is about it for me, for right now. Those of you in the heatwave areas of the country, stay cool. Drink lots and lots of water and exercise carefully. Heatstroke isn't funny and I don't want to be getting news that my bloggy buddies have started dropping like flies.

Blow, the Wind Gods

 

Memorial Day weekend. Feels like just another weekend, to be honest. We don't have any plans, we won't be having company, going anywhere or cooking out. I think I am learning to not expect to celebrate holidays.  I am not even all that disappointed, anymore. 

Progress. 

Besides, it is too windy to grill. Is Mother Nature fucking kidding us with this wind? Gah! It just blows and blows and blows. 

And it is a ton of fun to walk in. Okay, walking against the wind does make me work harder, burns more calories. The wind does help to keep me cooler and more comfortable. And it keeps the gnats from rising. So I guess it isn't all bad. 

But dang it! I can't use my grill. And I waaaant to use my grill. 

*stamps foot and pouts*

We walked about two and a half miles, last night. We would have gone further but it was getting dark and to be stuck out on those trails after dark would suck and it would be very difficult to get back to the car. So, a little shorter go. But I still burned in the neighbourhood of 500 calories. I'll take it. :)

Eating is good. I am keeping things where they need to be and I am not making the excuse that I walked and can eat my extra calories. That is fucked up and gets me into trouble. So no more of that bullshit. Calories burned are gravy. Not extra food for my mouth. 

My stupid smartphone went kind of tits up on me. Recently, it has been losing (how, I have no idea!) internal storage capacity. It kept telling me that storage space was low. It did this over and over and over. And every time, I would uninstall apps. And pretty soon I was down to only three that I installed. This morning, I couldn't even look at my e-mails because the storage was totally full. Aaarrrgh! So, in it went to Verizon. The consultant said that other phones like mine have had the same problem. A hard restart got it back to where it should be. She told me that if this happens again to bring it back in and she will get me a new phone. It had better not! The next time I redo a phone it had better be a 4gLTE phone. There are some good ones coming out later this year. I was reading about them and drooling, earlier. :d

Now I am busy re synching my e-mails accounts, my Facebook, Twitter, installing my apps, again. *sigh* Oh well. It will keep me occupied for a while. :S

Stupid smartphone.

I need to remember to run in and grab a bottle of Aleve when we are on the way back from the lake. My knees are toast. 

Okay, time to go toss a load of laundry in my washer. Yay. Fun. Just how I love to spend my weekend. Scrubbing my bathroom, dusting, vacuuming and doing laundry. :P

Yeah, Baby! BYOC Time! And... Where the Fuck Are Our Followers Boxes, Hmmm??? Blogger?... Blogger?... Blogger?

Hello chickens! It is another Friday and you all know what that means. If you don't, go visit It's Just Me, Drazil and Sheniqua for the straight skinny. And stick around and read and party in the house. And follow... If you can actually see the followers box. I sure as hell can't. Grr!

To Katie J., I am actually able to wear a few, but they are dressy and I am waiting for an occasion to present it's self. Others, hopefully soon. I don't change sizes very rapidly and with this self induced stall I have been in, well, let's just say things are even slower. And I am about ready to take myself out back and beat the shit out of myself. lol

Yes, for the record, many days I am still eating at closer to maintenance calories. I am not happy with myself right now. I haven't been on the scale. I am experiencing a lot of puff and I am just pretending it doesn't exist. And I think if I step on my scale it will eat my feet and I am scared of it. :P As usual, I am determined to stay my course. Sometimes I get so tired of my own bullshit. At least I am walking more regularly, again. So maybe there is hope for my fat ass, after all. :P :S

Okay on to BYOC. It is going to get crazy around here, today. Buckle up, kiddies. It's going to be a bumpy ride. lol

1. When is the last time you gave and got a compliment?

This happens on a regular basis on my blogs, back and forth. And they really make me feel good, let me tell you. 

I have a weird relationship with compliments. They can make me exceedingly uncomfortable. I was taught, as a child that to fish for compliments or to receive them too often is vain and shows weakness of character so I grew up believing that they were, for the most part disingenuous. As I got older and heavier and my self esteem plummeted I began to see compliments as empty platitudes designed to mock in a backhanded fashion. Much like   "Oh, you have such a pretty face, if only..."   

I am trying to learn to accept compliments at face value, not read ulterior motives into them. I have to remind myself that people say what they mean and that I am deserving and I don't have to shoot myself down and turn it against myself. That a genuine acceptance and a heartfelt Thank You is sufficient.  (Draz did say this is about crazy. This is about as crazy as it gets. lol)

 2. What do you wear to bed?

Depends. After I had my son, lo, these many years ago I got into the habit of wearing something to sleep in so that if he needed me, I could go to him without having to scramble in the dark, with bleary, blurry eyes trying to fumble into a garment of some kind. It became a habit. I usually sleep in the lightest, skimpiest, shortest gowns/nightshirts I have. I don't like a lot of fabric getting tangles around me when I am sleeping. Unless it is colder than a witch's lunch bucket in my room, in which case I bundle up in my big, warm fleece robe under all of my blankets to keep from freezing to death. 

Now that I have my own space, I am beginning, slowly, to indulge in sleeping nude, again. It's nice, I have to say. I have lovely sheets and why not enjoy them fully. :D

3.  If you could pick your dream job – with no worries of shifts or money or bosses or commute – what would it be and where?

Oh, gosh... I have always harbored a secret wish to be a fighter pilot. I know... Crazy, huh? Not because I want to shoot down other planes or drop bombs on anyone (tho I can think of a few individuals who could use a good explosive episode) but because I think it would be the ultimate thrill to fly one of those magnificent machines. Think about the freedom, the speed, the way a plane like that can move through the air. 

When I was a little girl one of the local TV channels would sign off with footage of a fighter taking off and a voice narrating the John Gillsepie Magee poem High Flight. 

  "High Flight"

 Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
 And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
 Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
 of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
 You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
 High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,
 I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
 My eager craft through footless halls of air....

 Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
 I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.
 Where never lark, or even eagle flew —
 And, while with silent lifting mind I have trod
 The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
 - Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
Copied and pasted from Wickipedia. I couldn't remember all of the words... Sorry about that.

That sign off had a huge impact on me, it touched and spoke to something deep within me and this poem makes me weep every time I hear or read it. It has, since I was a child. To me, it is the ultimate expression of freedom, of being ones self. Of near heartrending joy. And I think of flying a fighter as that expression. 

 4. Okay – I’m not trying to start some huge controversy with this question but I have to put it out there. If you’re being honest – do you think staying at home or working outside the home is harder? Can you honestly recognize they are both equally hard? Even if you don’t have kids – have you heard others talk about the two professions judgementally?


This is a good one. Yepper. I have done both. Working mom and SAHM. And I can tell you from personal experience that they are both tough as hell. Seriously. Being a working mom is hard. Not only do you have to hold up your end on the job, you have to come home, put it aside and be a high caliber mom, wife/partner, cook, housekeeper (with help from your husband or partner, but this is a rant for another day) and everything else under the sun. 

Being a SAHM is just as hard. Raising a child/children is not an easy job. And most SAHMs (unless one is lucky enough to have paid staff) work their arses off. Housework, taking care of, spending time with, teaching and all the million and one things that need to be done for kiddos is never ending and utterly exhausting. Add having to be a chauffeur, do all the errands, shopping, pay the bills and so on and you have one busy gal. (Or guy, if the person in question is a SAHD.)  

There is no right or wrong. Working outside the home or in the home, we all work. Damned hard! And for one "group" to make judgements on another is so wrong. In my not so humble opinion it degrades women everywhere.  In all walks of life and professions. (And yes, I consider being a housewife/SAHM to be a profession!) Why do we feel the need to tear one another down this way? We should be supporting and lifting one another up. The increasing attacks on our sex should teach us to come together, not divide and hurt one another. (Another rant for another day... I need to go on about equal rights, some time.)

Oh, and for anyone who thinks that housewives without children don't work, come spend a week living my life. Yes, my son is grown. That doesn't mean I sit on my ass all day watching soaps and eating bon bons. Just saying. 

 5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Ah, Draz. You did it to me, again. lol  

In blogland, I am still not yapping a lot. But I am trying to get my shit together. In real life, I am just trying to hold the line. 

And may I just say, since this is a BYOC day and we are dealing with crazy, what the fuck??? Some people really need to get over themselves. And, again; what the fuck??? Because, yeah. We should all be able to accurately predict earthquakes, these days, right? *seriously rolling my eyes* 


Okay, I think that this is now way more than long enough and if you made your way through all of it, I am going to give you a sugar free cookie.

Pushing Out of My Comfort Zone

On Sunday I wore a fitted red shirt.

It was strange to wear a garment that touches me. That has a shape that echoes my just beginning to emerge shape. It has seams that emphasize my waist. A lower neckline. It doesn't hang down to my thighs.

The way I fussed and worried and my heart beat fast in terror, you would think I had been forced to squeeze myself into an Herve Leger bandage dress. How strange to be so afraid of a simple piece of clothing. Stupid, really. But understandable, too if I think about it. I have worn nothing but huge, shapeless garments for over a decade. So huge that they were basically tents with sleeves. Tents that covered me, billowed around me (when they were loose enough to billow, that is...) that didn't allow any part of me to be seen.

Tents render me invisible. In a tent I don't draw attention. I am just a huge, shapeless blob. Nothing more than a blot on the landscape. I am not human. I don't feel. I am not worthy of notice. For a while, this realization broke my heart and dimmed my spirit. But in time it became a source of comfort. I was able to hide inside my huge, shapeless tops. I felt as if by so completely covering myself I became inoffensive. I no longer caused people discomfort by forcing them to see me.

Putting on my shaper to help firm my dunlapped a bit, zipping on my jeans and slipping into a figure enhancing blouse shouldn't be a big deal. I mean, millions of women do it every day. But for me it was. A huge deal. It was scary. I endlessly debated with myself whether or not I could go out of the house that way. I kept checking the mirror, doubt causing me to reconsider over and over. Should I? Should I change? Should I dare the outside world in a blouse that emphasizes my just beginning to emerge figure or should I take off my shaper and put my jeans back on and dive, once again back into the comforting invisibility of my big, blue top.

I was so terrified that I actually asked William over and over if I looked okay. If I wasn't hideous. If I didn't look disgusting. He assured me that I looked very nice. He was surprisingly patient with my hysterics. With my freaking out. It took some time but I finally began to calm down. And I finally decided to stay as I was and brave the world.

And I was okay. I was very self conscious for a while but as time went by, as people treated me normally, as mothers didn't grab their children and hide them behind their backs, as dogs didn't howl at my approach, as the sun didn't darken in the midday sky, I realized that it was really all okay. As the day went on I got more comfortable. I actually began to enjoy looking a little bit nicer than I have in so very long. And I was actually a little reluctant to change out of that outfit when I got home that day.

I'll be able to do this again. Hell, maybe I will finally have the guts to wear that cute pink top I have had lurking around here for so long. It fits me just fine. I just have to work up the nerve to rock it. Maybe I am a little closer.

It is so strange how much power a simple item of clothing can have over a person. How cloth and thread and buttons can cause so much doubt and fear. Then later, a glimmer of happiness. How it can take you from invisible, shrinking, retiring and silent to emerging. Present. Ready to let the world see you and deal with you.

Take a good look, world. I am no longer content to remain invisible. You will deal with me. You will see me. You don't like what you see? Too. Fucking. Bad. I am human. I am visible. Get over it.

I did.

Begin the Tribulation

Good morning, fellow Left-Behinds. How's your Sunday going?

I am sitting here getting ready to go strip my bed, toss my sheets in the wash then get in the shower and get myself pulled together. I have a little running around to do and I just want to get out of this house for a while.

I had a nice brekkie of coffee, just one cup this morning as it was triggering my gallbladder and oatmeal with almond milk and some lovely, plump, juicy, ripe raspberries and blackberries. I am trying to get more water, today. I have rin a little short the last couple of days. I don't want to drink too much this morning because I don't want to spent the whole time I am out running from loo to loo.

Okay. I don't have a whole lot more to natter about, right now. Off to do what needs to be done.

Lordy, I hope I don't puke. My stomach is really unhappy, right now...

Hungry Like the Wolf

Heh. Heh.

I am hongry! Dinner is in the oven, it is starting to smell scrumptious. Frakking Rapture didn't happen so I have to cook. Pffft! I am baking boneless skinless chicken breasts and cooking rice in chicken broth. There is a nice big fresh salad and fresh corn on the cob. Nom, nom, nom.

We went out to the lake, today and did Kick Ass Trail. Three miles (actually just a teensy bit over, but I suck green donkey dicks at fractions, so I round it down :P) clocked on my pedometer. Yeah! I was right all along. :D Anywhoozle, I did that walk in less than an hour. I powered up the hardest inclines. Inclines that used to have me stopping over and over, panting so that I thought my lungs would burst, my legs screaming for me to stop. Not now. Now I don't stop. Yes, I huff and I puff and blow your house down, but I power walk up those hills. No stopping, no whining. 

Kick Ass Trail is my bitch. :D

I am eating an orange and sipping a glass of almond milk. I think my blood sugar dropped while I was walking. I got a little light headed and weird on the trail and when I was in the shower, my heart started beating kind of fast, I felt faint and tingly in my lips and gums and I was hyperventilating. I have felt like that before. I am thinking blood sugar? Blood pressure? I should probably have a confab with my doc about it when I see her in August. It isn't critical, or anything. It doesn't happen often. But I should probably find out what it is and why it happens. 

I think I am finally getting back into my walk groove. It feels good. I am beginning to need a walk, again. And I feel compelled to get out there and do it. 'Bout damned time. I have been a sloth for far too long. Now, I need to keep it up, stay on track and power some more of this frakking fat off my bod. I still want to be under 250 by August First. Dunno if I am going to make it but I am sure as hell going to give it a shot. 

Damn! That orange tastes good. Oranges have been super good, this year. And the season is longer, too. Usually, by this time oranges are long over. Or they are really not all that nice. 

I am feeling better, now. I think my orange and almond milk was just the little boost I needed. I am going to sit here and read some blogs and let my hair dry and then have some din-din. I'll talk to all of you, soon.

'Cause I am Snarky Like That

Still here? 

Yeah? 

Me too. :D

A Storm Seems to be Brewing

It was clear and sunny, earlier. Now, it is somewhat humid and the sky is turning dark and grey. Maybe a storm is to be had? Maybe? Maybe? Bring on the thunder and lightening! :D

I did walk, today. I went a little over two and a half miles. I feel wonderful. My hip is yapping at me but is isn't screaming. I think that, as much as I enjoyed walking over four miles, that is too much for me, right now. The other day I was seriously hurting. I could barely totter around my home. I think that keeping it between two and three miles is best for me, physically. I can still function easily, I am not in screaming pain and I didn't come home, struggle through a fast shower and die on my sofa. So, for the foreseeable future, no more walks over three miles. Exercise does me no good if I can't repeat it.

I have laundry going (wheee!!! sooo much fun.. *rolling my eyes*) and my house looks pretty good. Other than that, the rest of the day is mine. I think I will do my nails when I am finished with my laundry. I am just trying to decide what colour I want to wear... I think I might be in the mood for blue.

Mmkay, I think I will run along and rustle up some lunch.

Ready for a Little of My Crazy? It's Time for BYOC

Good Friday morning, chickens. Is everyone looking forward to the weekend?

I am looking forward to plotting my husband's grisly death. He brought home a carton of sugar free ice cream. Vanilla packed with chocolate swirls and itty-bitty peanut butter cups. The man has to die. Granted, I am capable of saying no. I didn't go too nuts. I actually had a lot less than I thought I would but I should have made it none. Lord give me strength. And ideas.

Okay, on to BYOC.

1.  What kind of laundry detergent do you use?

 Whatever is on sale and I have a coupon for. Purex is really good (seriously, have you tried it?) All, Whisk, ERA. Tide is good stuff but drastically over priced, in my opinion so I only buy it if it is on super marked down sale and I have a big coupon, which almost never happens. 


2.  If you had the ability, strength and moment to tell one person on this Earth something that you've never said before - what would it be and to whom would you say it?

I would tell my cousin _  just how much damage he did to me when I was a child. How his selfish actions so utterly devastated me. How his evil urges had lasting implications against which I still struggle to this day. I would also love , after blasting him with all of that to ask him if his moments of whatever he got out if it was worth the damage he did.  (The other evil S.O.B. is dead.)


3.  Picture question!  Take a picture of a pair of shoes you wore this week!

I own one pair of shoes. My old Reebok walking shoes. We have all seen pictures of walking shoes through the years. I hardly think that a photograph of mine is necessary.

4.  Repeat question.  Summarize your week in blog world and in real life this week!

In blog world I am going through a writer's block-y time and suffering from being boring and having little to say. But I am reading daily and commenting when I don't panic and hit the back button. (Which has been happening more and more often, lately. 

In real life, things are what they are. I am having good days and the last couple not so good days but I am carrying on and not giving up or letting my idiocy defeat me. I am just trying to keep life on an even keel.  

Fuck! How the hell do I get my font and colour back to normal? I still haven't figured that one out. I copy and paste the blue bold and I am stuck with it for the rest of my entry. Stoopid Blogger. Stoopid me.


I am having my second cup of java and my sunblock is sinking in to my skin. I am planning to go out for a nice walk, here in a few. I need exercise and some fresh air. And if I don't get out of this fucking house, one way or the other I am going to go in-fucking-sane. (Before anyone suggests I go get a job, a couple of things... One, I am still too fat to be hirable (IMO) and we are in Ch. 13. Any increase in household income would result in either modification of our plan, taking every penny I earned away from us to be paid to the estate or if we exceeded this state's means test, our case could be dismissed. Also, the job market in this area is abyssmal, to put it nicely and anything I would be able to find would hardly cover gas, clothes and so forth, if every penny weren't taken by our Trustee. So that is that for that. ;))

Okay. I am wrung out. Can't think of anything else to say, right now. I am nicely caffeinated and I think I want to go walk, so I will catch all you lovely folks, later.

Roar, the Wind Gods and a Rumbling Below

So, It was windy, cloudy and grey, this morning. It was obvious a storm was rolling in. I was kind of excited. I like storms and I love rain. A bit of a pain in the ass to try to do your thing in but all the same, I just love them. I was getting ready to go out for my walk and the sky was growing darker and the wind was beginning to slash. I knew I was in for a wild time. I wasn't worried. There was no thunder or lightening, tho that hasn't stopped me in the past. I kind of enjoy defying the storm gods.

Then it happened.

The rumbling from below.

The Goddess of the Belly had awakened. As you probably know, I am living with a gallbladder that is rapidly heading South. And that can mean that from time to time, my innards can get a little... Shall we say... Cranky? Pissy? In a snit?

The Goddess had thrown me a warning and I decided to heed her. You see, I won't hesitate to brave a little (or a lot of) thunder and lightening if I want to go out. But when the Goddess of the Belly gets upset, I obey her. No questions asked. I have no desire to be out on the road on foot, a mile or more from home with no facilities in sight when she decides that that is the perfect moment in which to release the Kraken.

Let us just say that I am damned glad I decided to listen to her. lol

If it isn't raining in the morning, maybe I will be able to get out. As long as The Goddess of the Belly is content. ;)

Not too much else going on around here or with me. I hope that you all had a great Wednesday. 

Another Good Day

Aaand...

Breathe!

I got through another day in good form. Calories today: 1045. All my water is down and I feel really good. My hips feel much better. Not perfect, but then, when are they, really? I have a small amount of stiffness and am a tad sore in my thigh muscles and shins but that is to be expected. I think that a walk tomorrow will help loosen that all up and alleviate the residual stiffness.

Well, that is really all I wanted to say, at the moment. I am about to head off to beddy-bye.

Heh heh.

G'night, all.

Recovery

Wow! My hip yesterday? Ow! Serious ow! It was okay to stand on but every time I swung my leg to take a step it was bad. Walking around my house was not really walking. I was tottering. I could have used a walking stick. lol Getting up and down my stairs? Ha! Have an hour to spare? lol I took a couple of Advil PM last night when I went to bed and had a solid night's sleep and I am feeling much better, this morning. I am getting around a lot easier and I don't have the pain I did, yesterday. I am resting my hips today and if I feel okay enough, I will hit the road, tomorrow. I want to go today but I know better.

Calories yesterday were 1130. I am surprised the number was that low. I honestly thought I took in more than that. Not that I am complaining. I was at 1230 the day before yesterday. I am beginning to suspect that I am getting back into the groove where I belong. It feels good to be getting my bod on track and my mind back into focus. I don't deny that I have spent the last five months seriously screwing up. I have only lost about... Fifteen pounds or so since the first of the year. Not impressive. Not where I want to be, by any means. I have been in a self induced stall for weeks and weeks, hanging steady at the same weight. Not moving down. Not moving up, either.

Maybe I am learning that I can maintain a weight? Ha! Way to find the silver lining? :P

I am sorry if you are sick of my babbling about this shit over and over, lately. I know I am. But I need this space in which to hash this shit out. I can't talk about it to anyone in real life. William can only take so much and frankly, he has no useful input for me. So I just babble on and on and on here. It is either that or have long, rambling conversations with myself. And that kind of behaviour tends to make people look at me funny so... Blog nattering it is. I feel safe here, I know that I will get some tough love but I won't get mocked, denigrated or made to feel as if I am not worthy and I know that you support me as much as I support you and that makes all the difference for me.

Food is going down well today. I had my usual coffee and oatmeal and my water is following. *slosh*

Oh, a note about my pedometer. It is not perfectly accurate. It gives a good solid ballpark on distance but as it measures distance by stride length, the readings can vary. For example, on my walk yesterday the distance out on my pedometer was 2.4 miles. I slogged it uphill most of that distance, so naturally, my pace was a little slower (tho I pushed to move as fast as I could) and my stride length was shortened. On the way back, the reading was only 1.9-ish. It is almost all downhill so my pace was a lot faster and my stride length was much longer.

I had William drive the route I walked in his truck and clock it with his trip odometer and the distance is exactly 2.3 miles from the point where our frontage road joins Willow Creek road to the intersection of Willow Creek and Gail Gardener Road. I like my pedometer for counting the steps I walk and it is wonderfully motivating. And, it is close enough that I get a good solid idea of how far I go. So, it is a useful little tool that I will continue to use. I am looking forward to using it to clock the lake trails.

We are having some freakishly cool, windy, partly cloudy weather. It is supposed to be in the sixties, even fifties for the week. Lots of wind and even thunderstorms. Goofy. It is usually much warmer, clear and sunny, this time of year. I'll take the cool and enjoy it while it lasts because I know that Summer will come blasting in on us soon enough. And I will be bitching my head off the whole while. Bet you can't wait. ^^

Okay I suppose I should get off my ass and get to a few things around here. I need to do some housework and I have a comparison request to photograph and post over on my Nail Parlour and I have to pee like a racehorse so... I'll return later to read everyone's updates and I will see you all later.

Hugs for everyone who wants or needs one. :D

A Fried Face, Carmex in My Hair and... OMG! My Hip is Killing Me!

4.6 miles. Yeah. I did it. :D

I was in the mood to walk, this morning and rather than wait until this afternoon after William got home, I got dressed, laced on my walking shoes, grabbed my necessities, clipped on my pedometer and headed out. I walked up Willow Creek Road while Slacker poured the latest into my willing ears. The wind was blowing pretty briskly which was nice, in a way since it kept me a little more cool than if it were still. It was brilliantly sunny and just a gorgeous day to get my walk on.

I had thought that I would turn at Country Park Drive and head back but by the time I got to that intersection, I was feeling really good and I was just over a mile, according to my pedometer. So, I thought I would go on... Maybe another half mile, making my walk a three miler. As I went along and checked my little distance gadget on occasion, rather than wanting to turn back, I felt motivated to keep going. I got to the top of the looooong uphill (the first mile and three quarters is almost all uphill, some of it at a decent incline) and thought I might turn around. I had a nice drink, checked my pedometer and decided to go on. Why not just make it two miles out?

At two miles, exactly I was so close to the intersection at Willow Creek and Gail Gardener, (across the street from my Walgreen's) that I carried on to the light, had more water then headed home. I slogged back uphill (the last quarter mile or so out was downhill) to the top of the hill again, then I was able to cruise on home. I started flagging a bit about a half mile from home but I was still doing just great.

Until I got to the bottom of my driveway. lol The climb up that steep horror brought out just how tired I was and how much my poor hip was hurting. All the way up the drive, then up the side of my building it was singing Ave Maria at the top of it's voice. I barely managed to get my feet up high enough to step up on my patio and enter my back door. I hit my kitchen nearly sobbing from the effort.

But ya know... I also felt good. Tired. But good. Hurting. But good. And really pleased with myself for pushing, for making myself really work. This is what I need. Easy walks are nice but to really improve my conditioning and push my weight loss out of this self induced stall I have been "enjoying" I am going to have to work myself.

That walk took me an hour and twenty minutes. Not too shabby, considering that most of the distance outbound was uphill. According to my pedometer, I burned 524 calories. If I go by the online calculator, I burned 728. If I factor in the fact that I did two miles of uphill work, I could increase that a good bit. By my calculations, figuring forty minutes uphill and forty "regular" I burned about 992 calories. Yeah... That isn't confusing in the least. So, what is it? 524? 728? 992? Split the diff? Average it out? Say screw it and just be happy that I walked?

I'm soooo confused. lol Anyone who is an expert on this kind of thing, a little help, please? I don't need to know exactly but a good, solid ballpark would be nice. :D

I also would like to learn how to compute my calorie deficit. I think you take your BMR, those calories are what you need to live. Then you subtract the calories you take in for the day and the calories you burn through exercise, right? The end figure is your deficit or overage for the day... Correct?

My face is hot. I forgot to apply my mineral based sunblock and I get a little crisped. My skin is pink, not red so I am not too burned. There were shady spots and it was early, so the sun wasn't as bad as it could have been. But, note to self, remember your sunblock! And I need to get tubes of mineral based bod sunblock, too. I don't want to expose myself to the sun this Summer like I did, last year. I had Carmex in my hair when I got home. The wind kept blowing my ponytail all over the joint and it kept sticking in my lip balm. Blech! From now on, the hair gets braided or put up in a bun for walking. It is too long to just ponytail, any longer. You should have seen the tangles I had to work out of my hair when I got home. Not good. :P

I was so stiff I could barely move, earlier but I am loosening up and getting around a lot better, now. I recover faster and better than I used to. Yes, this walk wiped me but not as bad as shorter, easier ones did, when I started walking last year. Hell, at my heaviest, just going to the grocery store and walking down and back up my stairs once would make me feel as if I had been taken out back and had the shit kicked out of me.

I think I am in better shape than I was, then. :D

Okay, 'nuff of that. You are probably bored stupid. lol

It is windy as hell, again today and now it is getting overcast. This weather is weird, this year. It actually feels a little cool, in the wind, especially. I have a window open but no fans on, right now.

Okay, I guess I have chattered myself out, for now. I'll talk to you later. :)

Blowing the Dust Off My Blog...

 

Been a few days, hasn't it? No particular reason, really. I am just in a not so chatty mood and feel exceedingly boring. Life is trudging along here. I am working hard at getting my ass back on track in a solid way. Some days are diamonds, some days are shit. I am not gaining, but I am eating maintenance calories some days. *still* Gah. Today is going really well. Tomorrow should go as well and I can build from there. :)

Four loads of laundry, today. So. Much. Fun. 

 

 

Oh! If only it were that easy! lol

So, there is the gist of it for right now. Life is okay. I am still working, still in struggle mode but working hard to get out of it and the wind is blowing too much, making me feel a little psycho and I spent too much time looking at LOL Cats, as you can see. 

And, that is all I have, right now.

Obviously, the above photographs do not belong to me. I sourced them here. I dare you to visit and not spend too much time looking and laughing. :D

Better, Today

In more ways than just food. I ate well. Calories are at 1290. Water is at just shy of six quarts down. By the time I finish slurping this tumbler, I will be there. Then any more I drink, and I will, will be gravy. I am trying to flush sodium over load (don't ask) and a few days of bad salty choices. Blargh! I am puffy as a poisoned animal. Isn't that a nice visual? :P

It was still cooler than it was supposed to be today and may I just ask, what the fuck is with this wind?!?! Forty MPH gusts, day after day. I am so over it. It will help dry the trails, tho. My new pedometer is now calibrated and set. Once I get through this headbanging cycle and the trails are dry, I am headed back out to the lake. I need exercise. Bad. I also need to get out of this house before I torch it.

William is nomming on a Hershey bar and Sabryna is lying by him, watching him eat it and barking at him to get some. Sometimes, I rue the day I taught that dog to speak. lol

Autumn Leaves, if you didn't see it, yet, check the entry below this one. :D

My head is banging. Bad. The Cubs are winning against the Cardinals. Go Cubs, go! I am craving an In-N-Out burger.

And, that's all I have for now.

For Autumn Leaves

Here is a photo of one of Patrick's paintings. He did this one in oils all in shades of blue with a little white. Needless to say, I love this painting. He did this when he was eleven. He did a few, I have a couple others, his grandparents have one as does his Aunt and Uncle. He hasn't painted since he was twelve. He did it for a while, loved it. Got over it and left it behind.

You can clickety click to enlarge it, if you are so inclined. I'll take pics of and post his other three paintings I have, in coming days.

Operation Surround Sound Was a Bust

I got everything ready to go, got out my bag of tricks (a.k.a. my tool kit and little hardware stuff) and realised that I don't have enough wall anchors for the speakers. Drat. Since I am broke, right this moment, a trip to the hardware store didn't happen. *sigh* I can get some Thursday. Then I can get to it. Good thing is, William now understands my point of view, is over being freaked out about installing wall anchors (he doesn't want to cause damage. Duh! A little spackle and the are gone.) and understands that I am determined to get it set up and will help me.

Which is good, since he actually knows how to hook all of that shit up and doesn't have to spend the entire day trying to figure out what goes where.

I want to say think you all for your supportive comments and hugs and good thoughts for my mother. *hugs to all of you*

It was chilly, dark and cloudy and actually rained, today. It snowed in some parts of town. Blech! Supposed to be in the thirties, tonight. But it is supposed to warm up steadily, from here on out. Please, yes! I am so over being cold.

Don't worry. Soon I will be bitching about how hot it is. Yes. It is true. I am never happy about the weather. Or rarely, anyway. That is just how I roll. And love it or leave it. :D

I am yawning like a busted jawed freak so I think I will toddle off to bed, now.

Good night, everyone.

Monday, Monday

Holy moley. Where goes the time? I decided to hide, this Mothers Day. I am still in a weird head space. I thought I was coming out of that but I guess my fear and anger are still driving me. Add frustration and a wish to step in and change things and you get one screwed up daughter and mother who just wanted that day to disappear, this year. Hell, I didn't even call my mother. I couldn't. I actually blanked it and didn't even think about it until yesterday morning.

Luckily, my mother understands me better than I do myself and I know that she is okay with it. I am the one who isn't okay. I am the one who is not okay with the fact that my mother has breast cancer. There. I said it. And now I am shaking. I am not okay with the fact that not only does she have breast cancer but the fact that she has chosen an unorthodox treatment based on looney bird shit she reads in books and online. My mother is not exactly the biggest fan of mainstream medicine. I get that. But damn it! This no time to goof around with alternative theories. This is the time to act. Aggressively.

But I can't make her do that. I can't force her to do the things that she feels are wrong for her. It is her body. It is her choice. I have no right to dictate to her about her health and her body. I can't legislate her into submission. I can't force my viewpoint on her. I just have to STFU and accept the fact that this is how it is. And keep praying.

Add to this the fact that my aunt, my mother's sister and her daughter also have breast cancer, all in the right breast and you get a kind of freaked out me. I am beginning to think that there is a genetic component, here. I am going to discuss this with my doc when I see her in August. If I have to be tested for the BRCA gene, I will do that. And if I pop positive, I will seriously consider prophylactic measures. In my personal opinion, no bags of fat hanging off the front of my body are worth risking death for. No frakking way.

So, that is where I am, right now. In a weird head space. I have good days and not so good days. And, I am eating some of my feelings. I am not falling completely off track but I admit some days I eat at maintenance level calories. It isn't good and I am slowing my progress. And I am reverting to old, bad habits that I have been working so hard to change. I am trying to get through this weirdness and get my head screwed back on straight. I really am working at it.

I think that just laying it out, getting it off my chest is going to help a bit. I couldn't keep it all bottled up, any longer. I felt as if I would explode. I can't talk to my husband about this. He has no clue what to say and he has no desire to deal with it. So, it sat in there, festering and building pressure. Mothers Day almost sent me over the edge.

Definitely the right decision. I can feel a lot of the tension draining. I know that I violated my rule of not talking about this publicly but that is the way it has to be. This was necessary. And sometimes it does have to be all about me.

Okay, so. It is Tuesday. And I am feeling a little better, now and I am also thinking it is past time for me to get my ass solidly back on track, stop making excuses and get my head back in the game and get this job done. Meeza thinking that blogging my feelings is far more constructive than eating them.

Duh! lol

Okay, I need to get a move on. I want to wash my sheets, clean my bathroom and dust and vacuum. I also need to get my brekkie. Patrick is off today and I think that we are going to start Operation Surround Sound. Our old DVD player is toast and I want the better one and surround speakers set up. William won't do it because he doesn't like the speaker wires showing so we have had to put up with the old DVD player that freezes up in the middle of what you are watching. He stubbornly refuses to even consider installing the other one. Asshat. So, I think that Patrick and I will just do it. And when William gets home, it will be done and he can just get the fuck over it. Besides, I think I can fix it up so that the wires to the speakers don't show that badly. It is a matter of putting them in the right spots, running them in the right way and anchoring them. And they are white and so are my walls. So... I think I can make it work.

Okay, I have to run, now. I'll talk to all of you, later.

Yay! It Worked

I like having the option to post from my phone. :D I tried to add this to that post, but I can't move the frakking page down, under the photo I inserted (that was easy to do, by the way) so here I am, doing another post. Oh well.

Now I need to try it using my phone's camera to upload freshly shot photos/video. Should be a fun experiment.

Okay, I have to run along. I want to drink my coffee and finish watching Private Practice.

Later, gators! :D

Testing, Testing... 1... 2... 3...

So, I installed a Blogger app to my smartphone and this is my test post to see if it actually works.
It seems easy, so far. We'll see how pictures and the like go, in the future.
I do know one thing... Posting from this phone will not be a regular thing. My touch keyboard has very small keys. It is a pain in my ass and typos abound! Gah!!!
But it is nice to be able to post from my phone if I need to.

BYOC

Happy Friday night. Tomorrow is Saturday. The weekend has begun. I hope that you all have a terrific one. :)

Draz has a bit of a different BYOC for us, this week. I had to take a picture for this one...

1. Whether you’re a current exerciser or a wanna be worker-outer…what is your ultimate fitness goal? (i.e. – 50 pushups, 200 situps, run 5 miles, workout 7 days in a row, etc.)

To live an active, busy life without having to really think about it, like I used to. And to be able to ride, again. Assuming, of course, I have access to a horse... lol

 2. Picture get to know you question: Take a picture of the purse you are currently using!

  My Dooney and Bourke Donogal Crest Satchel. Love this bag. I have had it for five years and have carried it a lot. It holds the world and always looks nice. I love good handbags. It isn't really about the "status" thing for me. I just appreciate quality and am drawn to lovely (and expensive) things. 


3. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog world.

In real life, it has been the same ol. I keep my house, do my thing. I lost two pounds, last week. My dog was sicker than a dog one day. In blog world... Geeze, I suck at this part! lolol

So, there you have my BYOC. 

We sat out on the deck for a while tonight. It was lovely to just sit there, watch cars go by, look at the crescent moon and the stars and chat. It was lovely and cool but the breeze was a little chilly so we didn't stay out for too long. Sabryna was out there with us. She was all sprawled out, snoozing. It was perfect dog nap weather. Marley sat in the open window, separated from us only by the screen, so he could hang out, too. 

I don't know what we are going to do, this weekend. Hopefully get out of this frakking house, for a bit. I am feeling a bit stir-crazy. 

Okay, that is about all I can think of to yap about, right now. I think I am going to get me a little watermelon, drink some more water then hit the sack.  

Busy Thursday

It is a busy day, today. I had a lot of housework to get done and I am in the throes of laundry. :P My bathroom is sparkling, my floors are clean and shining, my furniture is dust free and my broadloom is as clean as my vacuum can get it. Housework blows. But keeping up with it helps it to not blow as hard as it can.

It is nice and warm. Low eighties. My windows are open, fans running. The warmer days are here.

I am trying to get all of my water down... It isn't easy, today. For some reason, I am rebelling against my water. :P

I had a rather harrowing moment, today. One I am reluctant to share... One I am damned embarrassed to share, more like. *face fires red* I was an idiot and decided it was time to see if I could sit down in my bathtub. I got down there, alright. But, to my absolute mortification, I found myself unable to lever myself back up, again. I was freaking out. Seriously freaking out. I mean, was I going to be stuck there, nekkid and lowing like a downed cow until my husband got home and could help heave me up and out, again? Gah! The very thought. After trying and trying to pull myself up with just my arms and having my knees kill me and give out, beginning to be resolved to the thought that I would have to fill the tub to keep myself warm until William got home.

Unacceptable! And how fucked up was it that I couldn't get my fat ass out of my own fucking bathtub? No. No way was I allowing this to defeat and humiliate me. After taking a moment to calm down and stop freaking out, I thought about it. About how to get myself out of my uncomfortable situation. Then it hit me. Roll onto my hip, then lever myself over onto my knees. I honestly believed that my knees would not take it but to my shock and delight, they were okay. A little uncomfortable but okay. No pain. No "Oh shit! I can't!" I got up on my knees and from there, it was easy-peasy.

So, methinks it is going to be a little while before I am ready to do a tub. Sad. I miss bubble baths.

I need to strengthen my legs and arms. Not being able to function normally is unacceptable. And this episode has brought home to me just how severely I have disabled myself and how far I still have to go. It has also shown me how far I have come and that I am able to do more than I thought... Even if that is pathetically little.

So, how do I strengthen my legs with knees that can't do lunges and squats? Probably weights. In a gym. *sigh* Great. That isn't happening, right now. Getting more weight off will help. Practicing will also help.

I need to get some help for my knees. They are trashed. I can hear them grinding when I go up and down the stairs. The pain is incredible when I bend them past a certain point. Squatting down to look at low displays in stores is impossible for me. The pain is mind blowing. I almost fell in Ross, one day when I was digging through the lower polish bin. I squatted down and my knees screamed in agony and gave out. I saved myself by grabbing the mesh side of the bin and somehow getting back to a standing position. That would have been a fantastic thing, huh? Stuck, helpless on the floor of a store, in public like a beached whale. :P Some days, just walking... I move and feel like a person far, far older than I am. I know that there are treatments available for trashed out knees. I need to have a confab with my doc about it, when I have my next appointment.

So, yeah. What a good time. Sharing my most recent most embarrassing moments with all of you. lol

William brought home a new modem, today. It is great. Faster. A lot faster. More power and it is secure, even when on wireless. And no one can piggyback or "borrow" my wireless connection, now. If anyone was... Yepper, Mama likes her new modem. :D

I want a cocktail. A nice, icy cold vodka martini. Dry (just scare it with the vermouth bottle), three olives with the nasty little red guts removed, please.  I am going to drink more water, instead.

Yum!

:P

In the Middle

Sooo... It's Wednesday.

The middle of the week.

Yippee.

Just tow more days to the weekend.

Gee.

I can't wait.

I see that the good people of Blogger have been futzing around with things, again. Can't they just leave what works alone to do it's job? Do they have to move stuff from one side to another and get me all turned around all the time? Honestly, I think that they do it on purpose. lol

It is warming up, here. Back up to around 80. Supposed to be 84, tomorrow. And the night time temps are finally out of the thirties. Hopefully they stay that way, now. I be over the cold nights. Don't worry and it warming up, tho. I will be bitching plenty about the heat, soon. ;)

I ate well, today but for popcorn. *sigh* I didn't do any damage but I did succumb to the siren song of fluffy white kernels of white cheddar love. I really, really wish that William would respect my wishes and not bring that stuff home, for a while. Just for a bit, so I can have some time not triggered by my favourite salty crunchy thing. It is my fault... The chowing of the popcorn. I am not blaming him for that. But I am blaming him for not getting that I need it to not be in the house, right now and respecting my needs.

Oh vell. what am I going to do? Just try harder. This is on me. I need to do the job.

I think I had something more I wanted to natter about but I seem to have lost it to the blank swim that is my pathetic excuse for a brain so I guess I am going to run along, now.

Golden Tuesday Morning

'Sup?

Somehow I missed posting, yesterday. I got busy and didn't get here. I ate pretty well, calories were under control. I drank all of my water and then some. I was a little sodium loaded and thought a good washout was in order, so six quarts down. *slosh*

I have received a few questions on how I drink so much water. It isn't too difficult, once you get into the rhythm. I keep my drinking water at room temperature. Very cold water is lovely and refreshing but it doesn't go down so easily for me. I get brain freeze and a tight throat when I try to down large quantities of very cold water. So, room temp it is.I keep two very large tumblers going at once and I drink with a straw. Yes, using a straw consistently is as bad for the lip lines as smoking but slugging down huge amounts of water by tipping a glass is harder than sucking it through a straw. I measure and keep track by pouring my water into a two quart pitcher. Two and a half pitchers down and I am done.

When you slurp, you pee. A. Lot. And at first it is excruciating. Constant toilet runs. Sometimes every ten minutes or so. And at night? Forget about a solid night's sleep for at least a few nights. lol But, if you keep at it, if you keep drinking, in time your bod begins to adjust. Soon bathroom runs get further and further apart. You pee more each time you go but you go a little less often. And after a while you can sleep through the night, again. Or at least are up just once. Since I usually get up to pee in the wee (no pun intended ;)) hours to pee, anyway it isn't disturbing to me.

The more water you drink, consistently, the more your body demands to feel properly hydrated. Yes, drinking so much is a job. A big job. But I feel so much better, I have a little more energy, my skin looks and feels better and it has the added advantage of keeping my mouth busy so I am not so focused on chowing down. Win-win.

So, chickadees, get big jugs of clean, filtered water, set one on your counter, get out your biggest tumblers and a straw and get to chugging. It isn't easy, especially at first. But it is doable. And the benefits to your bod far outweigh the temporary difficulties of getting used to it. Trust me. :D

Poor Sabryna is sick, this morning. She keeps eating grass and throwing up. Poor baby girl. She is having a really rough morning. These episodes are hitting her more frequently than they used to. I think it is just part of her ageing process. She will get over it, in a bit. Right now, she is safely outside, where she can blow without making a mess on my floor. Yuk.

It is so quiet in here. William went to work early this morning and Patrick just left a few minutes ago. I have my DVR on pause while I finish typing this entry and the dog is outside. I suddenly became aware of the silence and heaved a big sigh and just relaxed.

Okay, I need to get going. I want to read blogs and catch up in what is going on in everyone's lives and I have a few things to get done. Thankfully, no laundry, today. :P

Feel Like a Laugh?

My mother e-mailed this to me. Thought I would share. :D

Two aliens landed in the  Arizona  desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Pissed at  the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace.  Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon  and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'
 I hope you enjoyed. :D 

Good Morning Everyone

The sun is shining, the birdies are singing, the breeze is up and I am slurping my customary high-test. I got on my scale this morning and am down another pound, so that is two, this week. Hardly stellar, but at least I am headed back in the right direction. (Week before last was a wash.) Current weight is 284, even. Now to gather momentum and finish grinding out this hundred... Hopefully by the end of this year. :D

William and Patrick and the furry ones are all still snoozing and I am goofing around on my puter and have The Weather Channel on in the background. I saw the saddest story on that channel, yesterday. A man in Tuscaloosa, Alabama lost his home in a nasty tornado and was looking through the rubble to see if he could salvage anything. One thing he got out was a case containing the flag that draped his father's casket at that man's funeral. Nothing of any intrinsic value but precious to him, obviously. He set it outside the pile of rubble and someone passing by walked off with it. Who the fuck does that? How can anyone do something so low? How can someone deliberately inflict that kind of pain on a fellow human being?

Look, I understand that people can feel desperate in crisis situations. People are in shock and they do things that perhaps they wouldn't ordinarily do. If someone is hungry or thirsty, I can see forgiving taking food or water. But to take a flag in a case? What possible use could that be to someone else? Sometimes people are just monsters with no conscious.

Ack! I am out of coffee! BRB.

Ahhh... That's better. Mama has her second cup of go juice. I am so hooked on caffeine. lol

I am slurping my water as well as coffee and trying to decide what to put in my growling tummy. Oatmeal? Eggs? I am leaning toward eggs. I have some mushrooms... :D

Okay, my posting mojo just up and died on me and my teeny tiny little brain is empty of thought so I am going to toddle along. Now is a good time to read all of your new posts.

Oh! If you follow me/have my blog on your blogroll and I haven't found my way over to you to do the same, please leave me your blog URL in a comment on this post and I will come over, follow and add you. I know that I have new followers but getting to blogs through clicking the little icons in my followers gadget is so hit and miss that I have all but given up on that method. So please, blog link spam me, here. :D

Okay, I am outie. Later. :)