Thursday, May 5, 2011

Busy Thursday

It is a busy day, today. I had a lot of housework to get done and I am in the throes of laundry. :P My bathroom is sparkling, my floors are clean and shining, my furniture is dust free and my broadloom is as clean as my vacuum can get it. Housework blows. But keeping up with it helps it to not blow as hard as it can.

It is nice and warm. Low eighties. My windows are open, fans running. The warmer days are here.

I am trying to get all of my water down... It isn't easy, today. For some reason, I am rebelling against my water. :P

I had a rather harrowing moment, today. One I am reluctant to share... One I am damned embarrassed to share, more like. *face fires red* I was an idiot and decided it was time to see if I could sit down in my bathtub. I got down there, alright. But, to my absolute mortification, I found myself unable to lever myself back up, again. I was freaking out. Seriously freaking out. I mean, was I going to be stuck there, nekkid and lowing like a downed cow until my husband got home and could help heave me up and out, again? Gah! The very thought. After trying and trying to pull myself up with just my arms and having my knees kill me and give out, beginning to be resolved to the thought that I would have to fill the tub to keep myself warm until William got home.

Unacceptable! And how fucked up was it that I couldn't get my fat ass out of my own fucking bathtub? No. No way was I allowing this to defeat and humiliate me. After taking a moment to calm down and stop freaking out, I thought about it. About how to get myself out of my uncomfortable situation. Then it hit me. Roll onto my hip, then lever myself over onto my knees. I honestly believed that my knees would not take it but to my shock and delight, they were okay. A little uncomfortable but okay. No pain. No "Oh shit! I can't!" I got up on my knees and from there, it was easy-peasy.

So, methinks it is going to be a little while before I am ready to do a tub. Sad. I miss bubble baths.

I need to strengthen my legs and arms. Not being able to function normally is unacceptable. And this episode has brought home to me just how severely I have disabled myself and how far I still have to go. It has also shown me how far I have come and that I am able to do more than I thought... Even if that is pathetically little.

So, how do I strengthen my legs with knees that can't do lunges and squats? Probably weights. In a gym. *sigh* Great. That isn't happening, right now. Getting more weight off will help. Practicing will also help.

I need to get some help for my knees. They are trashed. I can hear them grinding when I go up and down the stairs. The pain is incredible when I bend them past a certain point. Squatting down to look at low displays in stores is impossible for me. The pain is mind blowing. I almost fell in Ross, one day when I was digging through the lower polish bin. I squatted down and my knees screamed in agony and gave out. I saved myself by grabbing the mesh side of the bin and somehow getting back to a standing position. That would have been a fantastic thing, huh? Stuck, helpless on the floor of a store, in public like a beached whale. :P Some days, just walking... I move and feel like a person far, far older than I am. I know that there are treatments available for trashed out knees. I need to have a confab with my doc about it, when I have my next appointment.

So, yeah. What a good time. Sharing my most recent most embarrassing moments with all of you. lol

William brought home a new modem, today. It is great. Faster. A lot faster. More power and it is secure, even when on wireless. And no one can piggyback or "borrow" my wireless connection, now. If anyone was... Yepper, Mama likes her new modem. :D

I want a cocktail. A nice, icy cold vodka martini. Dry (just scare it with the vermouth bottle), three olives with the nasty little red guts removed, please.  I am going to drink more water, instead.




  1. I don't know if you have any pools near you but I've heard that walking or easy swimming is easy on the joints but great exercise. Jogging through the pool could be great too!

  2. OMG! I am so sorry for your bath tub trauma. It reminds me of getting stuck in a dress in a fitting room. I was sooooo mortified I would have to call out to a sales associate for help. Thankfully I managed to get out of it without help... but it was touch and go there for a bit.

    I'm a tad jealous of your clean house, lol. This being stuck on the sofa is starting to get to me...

  3. Safire has a great idea on the swimming! I know when I used to bring my girls to the Y, there was always a class with older ladies and nary a one o' them looked all that great in a bathing suit. I wouldn't mind being one more in the group; I'd fit right in! The only problem for me is that I just don't like water that is cold and to my mind, that pool water was always a bit too cold. (Oh yes; that is why I took my girls to the Y. They had swimming lessons for a short while. I thought it was important so they could at least save themselves if they fell in water. I was stuck trying to remember what the heck I took them to the Y for in the first place! LOL)

    Anyway, my knees are rather shot too. I usually do all kinds of contortions getting out of the tub but I just don't want to give up my baths. If I kneel in the store, I usually have to push up from the floor with my hands. Oh what a pretty sight that must be when the big old arse goes up first.

  4. I'm right there with you, Erika. Before I lost the weight I could do very little for myself. In fact, I was in a wheelchair. I couldn't stand long enough to take a shower so I took baths in a huge bathtub but I had to have help getting out of it. I also had to have help shaving my legs etc. It was humiliating and believe me, I don't take things like that for granted now. You will be better with each pound lost. I know you can do this and those issues will just help you commit to getting to your goal. Hugs. :)

  5. I dont know what your fitness level is but I am one of those big girls that hates squats and lunges (biggest loser video almost killed me) but I would suggest if you are comforable a beginners pilates video or yoga...they make some great beginner ones. Not only will it help strengthen your lower body it might help lengthen some of your muscles. For me yoga really helped iwht a lot of weight related pain. Plus if you get tapes then no one has to see you thrusting on a mat you will be in the privacy of your own home.

  6. I need to go clean the bathrooms now. You will eventually get your baths, just keep working hard girl!

  7. I found out that for years I got up from the floor the way people with MD do, with Gower's Sign:

    I do it to try and spare my knees and cause I was so big, frankly. I have knees that make an awful crunchy sound when going down stairs. OMG, I get goosebumps when I hear that, like I'm gonna hear a crack and fall from knees disintegrating. scary.

    Well, glad you figured out teh escape. :) And as you lose more weight, your knees will feel better. Will we ever have perfect knees.. Nope. But the less weight on them, the better, as any Rheumatologist will say...

    Happy Mother's Day Weekend!


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