Thursday, December 23, 2010

Major NSV!

For anyone who is or has ever been very heavy, something as simple as putting on your shoes and tying them, applying cream to your feet, whatever can be difficult. Extremely difficult as the bulk in your stomach and legs makes it impossible to accomplish these tasks in a normal fashion.

I am a good example of this. For years and years, I had to sit on my bed, turn to the side, hitch a leg up to the side and strain to reach my foot. At my heaviest, this even was almost impossible. Seriously, I was almost to the point where I wasn't going to be able to put my own shoes and socks on. Never mind taking care of my feet or doing a pedicure. It sucked. And it horrified me to think that I might have to ask my husband to put my socks and shoes on me. Talk about humiliation.

Last week, I sat down to put on my socks and shoes and I started to turn to the side and hitch my leg up as "normal" when I decided to try just bringing my leg up and balancing it on the other one. You know... Like normal people can do. And ya know what? I could! I can! I can put my shoes and socks on like a normal person. I can sit down and put moisturiser on my feet and my night socks on without having to turn to the side, hitch up one leg, do one foot, then put my leg down, stand up, turn in the other direction, sit, turn to that side, hitch my other frakking leg up to the side and repeat.

It was exhausting. Hell, I am exhausted just writing about it! It was demoralizing. I didn't dare attempt to go into a store and try on shoes. After all, they don't have big beds I could do my turn and hitch and turn and hitch routine on. Besides, that wasn't anything I wanted anyone in public to ever see me doing. Shit, I didn't even want my family to see me doing it. I made sure that my husband and son were never, ever in the room when I was putting my socks and shoes on.

Now, I can go and shop for and try on shoes in a store. No humiliation. I might still be fat, and that isn't the prettiest thing to see all contorted to do the shoe thing, but at least I can do it normally. Yeah, baby!

My hips and thighs are not too terribly happy about this new ability of mine. I have done it the other way for so long that my body has adjusted to it. And putting my legs up front causes some discomfort and shaking. Less, the more I do it. Several times a day, I sit down, bring my leg up on the other, pull it up as much as I can with my hands and hold, stretching my muscles and getting my joints used to doing it the right way, again. I imagine it will take a little time for my bod to adjust fully. Until then, I will just keep working at making it easier and more natural. Kind of like my own form of homespun physical therapy. lol

Good Lord it feels good to do such a simple "little" thing, again. And maybe... One day, I will actually be able do it without having to tell myself to. And that I can.

I suppose I should go take my rollers out of my hair and finish getting ready, now.


  1. Woop woop! That's awesome, Erika! It's the small things that keep ya going sometimes.. and that's a good one.. :)

  2. rollers in your hair? I'd love to see photo of your curly do!

    I can remember when I realized that my kid was copying me by grunting every time she put on her shoes and that was bad enough. Now I can even where shoes that tie without having to grunt. Congrats on the NSV!

  3. wait till you can take and put your knee to your chest and put your shoes on that way and not even feel a tremor. That day is coming.
    I wanted to drop in and say Merry Christmas! To you and your family,
    Will be back on the 26th. Have a great holiday.

  4. That is awesome Erika! I know EXACTLY what you mean! I for one am so happy for you and your accomplishments! Keep on!

  5. High Fives ALL around!!! Terrific NSV!!! I fully understand "the shoe thing"!

    Merry Christmas!

  6. Way to go on the Major NSV... Have a great holiday weekend!

  7. Congrats, Erika. That is a wonderful NSV. Just wait. It will get even better. not long from now you will be able to keep your feet on the floor and bend over and tie your shoes without doing any gymnastics at all. That was a major coup for me when it happened.


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