Simply put, it is overwhelming in the extreme. My ultimate dream goal is about 140 pounds. I think that for me, a woman who is 5'7" tall and has a fairly sturdy bone structure that is a good number to shoot for. This is a dream goal. I might end up not going that far. I just don't know, at this time.
If I start with my weight when I started this blog, 400 and subtract 140, you get 260. That is a huge number. And if I allow myself to dwell on it, I could easily say, "Fuck that noise! I could never, in a thousand lifetimes get there!" and just give up. So, I don't. Dwell on it. I don't think about it, at all, right now. I keep things at manageable levels. I think in fifty pound increments. Right now, all of my attention is focused on getting to and below 300 pounds. I'll deal with the next fifty when I get to that point. And not think about the overall task ahead of me.
Does it make me a chicken, playing these little head games with myself? Does it somehow show a lack of character, fortitude when I refuse to think about my goals in the whole and break it into very small pieces and focus on one small piece at a time?
Or is it like eating off a salad plate? A helpful little fool the eye trick to help your eyes "trick" your brain and your stomach into thinking that they got more than they really did?
For those of you who are losing or have lost a very large amount of weight, did you break it down? Did you trick your mind? Or, did you say, "I have umpty-ump number of pounds to lose and I am going to look at it this way and just power through. I am Woman/Man hear me roar!" And how do/did you feel about your choice?
It is another cloudy, stormy day. Storm after storm rolled through and thunder boomed and lightening crackled all night long. A lot of rain fell, as well. As I was getting up this morning, another big storm began and it banged and crashed and rained for a couple of hours. Then it cleared out for much of the day but the clouds are rolling back on in. Methinks we are in for another big blow. I like the storms and we need the rain, desperately so bring it on! :D
My head is really bad. I feel as if the right side is about to swell up, collapse and blow out like Mt. Saint Helens. It got so bad yesterday I broke down and took an Aleve to take a little of the edge off and I am paying for the small amount of temporary relief I got with a nasty rebound, today. Oh well. As long as the stabbing doesn't start...
I am going to bake chicken in the oven, make rice in chicken broth and toss a salad for dinner, tonight. Om, nom, nom, nom.