Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Forgive Me, Bloggy Friends, for I have Sinned

It has been many, many, many months since my last Doritos session. Then today, I killed the bag. I knew it was going to happen. Doritos are a huge trigger food for me and I don't have what it takes to leave them alone, yet. Thankfully, Husband and Son had already eaten the majority of the chips, there was probably just shy of a third of a bag. Still not great but not the disaster that a full bag would have been.

Bottom line? I can not have Doritos in this house under any circumstances. There is a lot I can leave be. Doritos isn't one of those things. I know that and am not going to allow them to come here, again. If Husband and Son want Doritos, they will have to have them off site.

My stomach feels yuk, I can taste the grease and strong flavourings in the back of my throat, still. I have been lethargic and tired since I ate them. My bod doesn't like that crap so much, any more. Maybe eating them was good in one way. I now know that large amounts of junk really flatten me and I don't like feeling flattened. I didn't even want to go for my walk, today.

Earlier, as I sat here in a near junk coma I went back over my written log and it has been a long time since I had a really bad food day. So, maybe I was due for one? I don't know. I am certainly not making excuses. Eating those chips was a choice. It wasn't forced on me and it wasn't done to me. I decided. I did it and I take full responsibility for my actions. And I will live with the consequences. Which no doubt will result in at least a good puff session. I didn't ingest enough calories for fat gain but I certainly had enough sodium to make me swell up like a swollen dog. lol

I am concerned at my near binge behaviour. I won't be heavy enough to absorb that kind of calorie intake forever. I need to get smarter about this whole thing and get it through my head and that of my family that my trigger foods must not come across our threshold.

So, FIL had is final pre op appointment, today. His surgery is tomorrow morning. He goes into the OR at ten and should be done by noon. Then he will be in recovery for a bit, then have to go over to his surgeon's office for a check and to change his bandage to something he will be able to see through. Then he goes in Friday for another follow up then back in two weeks then he should be good to go.

Urgh! Head is bad, today. I think that something in the chips triggered my head because it started banging like a jackhammer shortly after I finished munching and it is steadily getting worse. Would someone please shoot me, now? lol

It was hot, today. I had to fire up my A/C fairly early, today. That is the only problem with the humidity going down. It heats back up very nicely. But, Summer is over. I felt the shift, today. Yes, according to the calendar, we still have a lot of The Dog Days to go but the season is dying and we are sliding into Fall. I always get excited when I feel the seasonal shifts. Changing seasons are a delight to me. :D

Hmmm... I am beginning to get hungry. Methinks a nice, light dinner is in order, tonight. lol


  1. I have cheat days sometimes. It happens! Tomorrow is a new day.

  2. There's MSG in Doritos and that's probably what's triggering your headache. Not only that, but for some people, it triggers the urge to have more. It's almost like an addiction from what I've read. It's better to cut MSG totally from your diet if it bothers you but it tastes But know what? It's just food.

    Forgive yourself, drink lots of water, and most importantly - FEEL BETTER SOON!

  3. I have trigger foods too. Well, it happened, it's over. When things like this happen to me, I move on and pretend they didn't and go from there.
    Have a better tomorrow. Hope your head feels better soon.

  4. I agree with Lanie. MSG gets me every time. It is "hidden" in many food and causes such pain.

  5. So your human...good to know :)

    You're doing great...everyone has a splurge day. I have a theory that our bodies kind of need the splurge so that they know everything is still ok and that it kind of keeps a sort of famine mode at bay. If our bodies thinks that it will still get what it craves on rare occasions then it doesn't fight the good-for-you stuff so much. Sounds hokey-pokey but it's my story and I'm sticking to it :)

  6. Sometimes I think that maybe feeling bad after such an event is more emotional and mental than truly physical, don't you? You just can't beat yourself up too long though. Maybe such a mini binge is needed at times to reinforce your goals and desires? Too long of denying makes the whole project seem to be a chore of drudgery, despite intellectually knowing how good and right this dieting business is. (Ooh, dangling preposition again! Drat!) I'm not trying to make excuses either, but a mini derailment, one car only. It is back on the tracks today. And I'm the same way when something good is in the house. Or with McDonalds. Yikes. I'm 51 and still think McDonalds is amazing. I'm just plain old sad.

  7. You and I are more sensitive than some people to salt and MSG. So when I eat them, I try to chug the water to get it moving out of my system. And when I wake up the next day, I do feel better, at least emotionally, and usually physically. Maybe I'm just justifying eating the wrong things by being able to claim that I immediately start damage control. Maybe.

  8. MSG kills me! It is also disguised as autolized yeast extract. It's bad news! But you are forgiven!

  9. Any sodium can trigger a migraine, and glutamates are deadly for many migraineurs. With MSG, you get both. But you knew that.

    Please don't beat yourself up. There are several good things about this. You aren't making up excuses or blaming anyone. You've put the responsibility on yourself and realize it was a choice. That's HEALTHY.

    You didn't stick your fingers down your throat and vomit them back up. That, too, is healthy.

    I think you realize that after the fourth or fifth chip, they just didn't taste as good as that first few. Yes, the law of diminishing returns. Now, if you (we) can harness that knowledge to our choice muscle, we can eat a few and put the rest down. That'll come a long time from now, but it'll come.

    As a corollary to that, you've drawn a good boundary for others not to cross--they're not to bring them in the house. Right now you don't have the ability to eat only five, so they eat them elsewhere. That's a perfectly reasonable expectation for you to have of others.

    I'm as proud of you today as I was yesterday, because you're still on the righteous road, Erika.

  10. You fell down but as long as you pick yourself up and continue on you'll be alright. And I believe you will be alright.


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