I'm sorry I wasn't very present, yesterday. I had to hide. It was one of those down, shitty, weepy, stupid days I get. And when they hit me all I can do is draw my blinds and pull into my shell and hide from the world. I ate too much, yesterday. Not seriously. Happily, I only had healthy food in the house so I didn't do any damage but the fact that I was allowing myself to comfort eat... Well I took a bit of a step back, yesterday. Time to pull up and out of that right quick. Funny thing, I was hyper aware of what I was doing, while I did it. And a big part of me didn't even want to. Knew it was wrong for me, that I was allowing a bad pattern to, if only temporarily, reassert it's self.
In this case, the calories weren't my issue. The behaviour was. And I derived less comfort and less good feeling from it than I used to. In fact I think it is safe to say that I derived none. I was just on auto pilot. And it felt all kinds of weird and wrong. So... I think I learned something. And I think that slowly, steadily, a lot of my old reasons for my old eating habits and patterns are leaving my life.
Weird way to see it, I suppose. But it is a good thing that I do.
I think... :D
I am feeling a bit more "back", today. I still feel a bit dark and twisty but okay to function. My blinds are open and my outlook a little brighter. And my eating back on track, thankyouverymuch. :D
Thank you all for your comments, yesterday. Honestly, I don't know what the hell I would do if not for all of you. You help to keep me centred, grounded, remind me of my purpose here and give me strength. And I am more grateful than I could ever properly express. <3<3<3
That is about all I have to yap about, at the mo. Oh! If you haven't entered my giveaway, today is the last day. I have linkage in my previous post.
Okay, off to read and catch up with all of you lovely people. Later, gators. :D