Running Myself In, Again and... The Difference Between Overeating and Binging

Ah, that lovely feeling of soreness, the achy feet and stiff, sore hips. Thus are aspects of the running in. Breaking in and getting over the initial owies of getting back into an exercise program. I went through this in June, when I first started walking and I am rather pissed at myself that I am having to do it, again because I was Slacker Supreme for nineteen days.

Nineteen days. That is all it took to get almost back to the beginning with my physical conditioning. I am not all the way at the beginning, obviously... But I am amazed how just three weeks ruined me. Any fitness fades fast. You have to keep up with it and you have to work hard at it all the time. Because it is fleeting.

Record breaking heat again today. Blech! I am so over this! I am puffy. cranky, sweaty and all that shit and I just want the air to cool, already. Oh, and the nasty humidity that has decided to roll in? Maybe it can roll the hell back out, again? Thankyouverymuch!

I am riding the Puff Monster hard, right now. I am not even going to bother getting on my scale until that is over. I should depuff, pretty soon. Puff seems to cycle for me. And weighing myself when I am in full puff just doesn't make any sense, since I will only record a bounce. Bleargh!

I don't have "real" cycles, anymore thanks to my hysterectomy and oophrectomy almost twelve years ago. But my bod seems to have held on to it's memory of how to retain water. lol

 Kristin at Kreating Kristin asked for guest posters on the subject of overeating versus binging. I kind of wanted to offer a guest post but the very thought of even going there scared the shit out of me and made me ask myself who the hell I think I am, presuming to contemplate such a thing. So, I will give my answer here.

There is a huge difference between overeating and binging. Overeating would be something along the lines of one too many slices of pizza, a second helping of mashed potatoes, half a bag of potato chips. A big, greasy cheeseburger, a large fry and a big chocolate milkshake. Eating patterns that will, in time pack a shit load of weight on your frame and turn your arteries to concrete, clog your heart with fat and stroke you out. Overeating is bad habits set in over the course of years. But it is reversible with some work and determination. I still overeat, now and then. But it doesn't scare me. I can and do make overeating my bitch.

Binging is an entirely different animal. Binging is frenzied. Binging is unthinking. Binging is fevered, desperate and wild. Binging is eating to forget. To dull pain. To numb ones self out. Binging is a drug. It is therapy. It is love. Binging is a headlong rush through the kitchen, store or drive through, gathering all the food one can carry, then consuming it in vast quantities until the pain is dulled and the screaming in your mind is quieted. Binging is stuffing yourself until you are high, soothed and calm. Artificially high, calm and soothed. Numb. Exquisitely, sweetly numb. Unable to feel. To think.

It is fleeting. And soon, the numb wears off. The high dissipates and the pain and the screaming in your mind returns. Your stomach begins to empty a little and you find yourself with an overwhelming urge to do it all again. Like a drug, binging is addictive, seductive and compelling. And it can be just as tough to kick out of your life. Binging scares the shit out of me. It shadows me. Binging haunts me, calls to me. When I experience an upset, when my husband lies to me or I get some bad news or my past demons try to rise and hassle me, I feel the need to feed. I want to run to the kitchen and stuff food. I want to eat and eat and eat until I feel sufficiently numb, punished, quieted. I want to eat until I am shaking, sick, disgusted with myself. I crave it. I crave the pain, both physical and emotional. I crave the mental chaos and the self recriminations. Most of all, I crave the numb. That fleeting moment of absolute peace I know that I can't allow myself to fall into that morass. No matter how much I might both dread and cry out for it. It is dangerous and it will kill me.

That is, in my experience the difference between overeating and binging.

Here You Go, Drazmatazz. One Hair Pic :D

By request, a picture of my hair. From the back with flash. It is a bit washed out and fuzzy. I don't know what is with my stupid camera in self timer mode, lately. It isn't working as well as it used to. I hate the flash washout but it was a bit too dark without it so...

My hair is almost completely virgin hair, unprocessed with chemicals for just over two years. There is a little light hair at my ends from trying to lighten my roots with peroxide to match the rest of my hair in June of '08. (I was trying to match up my dark roots with my peroxide damaged henna removal mess.) I used to have bright, naturally blonde hair. The older I get, the darker and more blah it gets. (NO! I am not saying dark hair is blah! I am saying that my hair is blah.) I hate my base tone, it is an undetermined shade of dark dishwater and brown with some natural dark gold highlights and of course my gracious plenty number of silvers. I am about 40% silver, at this point. And I hate my hair. I can't wait to hit below 300 so that I can go have my hair done.I think I am over colouring my own hair. I hope I can find a really great salon and colourist who won't cost me a fortune to do my hair and my root touch ups in the future.

Okay, that was probably a whole lot more than you ever wanted to know about my stupid hair. lol

 Pic is clickable to enlarge. (Yeshah, clickable is so a word! "Cause I said so! :P)

The layers are very subtle. Just like I like them. I like that my ends look thicker, I am losing some hair thanks to weight loss. I have noticed a little thinning. I just hope that it doesn't get much worse. :D

It Didn't Weigh Much, At All

Hair isn't as heavy as people would like to think it is. Even very long, thick hair isn't terribly heavy when piled up on a scale. My little ends trimmings didn't weight enough to register, really. Much less make any difference on the scale.

I need to take a hair pic, soon so I might post it here. We'll see what kind of a mood I am in. ^^

Sooo... I watched The Biggest Loser this morning. And I have to ask, "What the Fuck?????" You have got to be kidding me. This new weigh in system is a disaster in the making. It guarantees that the bigger, heavier contestants will dominate and the smaller, lighter ones will not stand a chance. The women are going to get decimated. And that jerk... What's his name (I need to learn everyone's names)  picking... Shocker... Patrick. A man. Of course. Setting it up to be men against women. There are a few I am ready to see go. Now. And they are men. Arrogant asses.

I think that this season is going to piss me off. A lot. Which means I am going to be able to bitch and moan about it. A lot.

*Woof!*

My legs are sore, this A.M. Not terribly so, but I am feeling it. That is what I get for making BS excuses and slacking off for nineteen days. I have a legitimate excuse for a few of those days. The smoke was too thick to walk in. But  the majority of it was just "I am too tired..." "It is getting too late..." "I have a headache..." "Dinner is ready and I don't want to eat too late..."Let's just take this night to relax and walk tomorrow..." "Let's just go tomorrow..." "Tomorrow.."

Yeah, big, steaming pile of bullshit.

Always fun to call myself on my bullshit.

It is going to be another hot one. 94 or so. It was like a Summer night when we walked, last night. It will be that way again, tonight. As long as we don't get attacked by bugs, I can deal. :D

So, I think I will sift through my blogroll and see what all you loverly people are up to, this morning.

After Nineteen Days

Nineteen days of smoke then stupid bullshit excuses, we finally got back out on the road, tonight. It felt good to doa brisk two miles, again. I am going to be a little sore, since my muscles aren't used to walking. But the soreness should pass quickly. I kept up a good pace, tonight and made myself carry my arms up at my waist and pump them, rather than let them hang down at my sides. Doing that with my arms lifted me up straightened my spine, made me walk with my head up, not looking at the ground, as I usually do. (All the better to pretend no one else is around... lol) Having my head up and looking forward is better.

Food is good, today. I am at 1195 calories. Not too shabby. :D

I decided to take a big step today and I cut a few layers in my hair. I am an all one length, no layers, no bangs kinda girl but I had a little sticky, damaged hair on my ends on my upper layer of hair from my henna removal disaster a couple of years ago and I just wanted that last little bit of crap ends gone for good and all. My under layer is great, all virgin hair and didn't need trimming, since I have no split ends or breakage or anything. (No sense in trimming hair that doesn't need it.) I did a layer at my ends all the way across by separating the upper layer, combing it straight up, wrapping a hair tie tightly around the pony and pulling it straight up until just the ends were sticking out. Then I just cut my ends off at the top of the hair tie. I made sure it was all level and as even as possible then turned my hair loose, finger combed it, combed it with my comb and checked it in the mirror. I liked the layering in the back... It looks beveled and my ends were all swingy and had nice movement. But the front wasn't as beveled, so I repeated the process with just the hair in front. let it loose and had slightly shorter, slightly more layered ends on either side. Then, I looked carefully for any longer bits that didn't blend in, picked them carefully out and snipped them to match their friends and I was done. The whole process only took a few minutes and I am pretty happy with the result. My hair isn't any shorter, in the back but I have finally closed a painful chapter in my hair's history once and for all.

Now... I just have to grow out and trim away the layers. lol

Yawn! I should sleep well, tonight. :D

Just Checking In

Yesterday was a hide day. Which wouldn't have been so bad but it also turned out to be an out of control eat like a fucking idiot day. The good thing was, since I don't keep much garbage in the house, I was unable to do serious damage, calorie wise. But I still damaged myself. I reverted to patterns I am working so. hard. to change.

It was "only one day". But what the fuck was I thinking for that day? I am not exactly sure, to be perfectly honest. I was wallowing. I do know that. I need to wallow now and then. I accept that about myself. What I need to learn is wallowing without swallowing. (Oh, my! Aren't I the clever girl?)

Anyhoozle... I sucked down in the neighbourhood of 2800 calories, yesterday. A shocking number, when I think about how I eat, now. Even more shocking to me when I think about it in a mathematical sense is that it was still technically, by the numbers in my "weight loss range". Dang. Dayum! Ain't life grand when you are a fattie? (Uh... you did "hear" my sarcasm, didn't you???)

So, I am better, today. Not as prone to wallow. Still pulling out of my funk and feeling better. And I am on track. Definitely not feeling the need to feed. I get angry with myself when I have a day like I did, yesterday. But I am definitely encouraged by the fact that yesterday was just the one day. It didn't extend to today. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Back to 400+ pounds.

No, I am not giving justification to having off days. And I am not, in any way, shape or form excusing my behaviour. I am taking responsibility. And I am trying too suss out in my stupid headedness what it is that drives me to do this, even on occasion. What exactly was I feeling, thinking when I did what I did? That is what I need to figure out.

I will. I have already worked out a lot of my shit. I still have a lot more work to do. I get that. And I will get it done. If I can get this far, I can go all the way. :D

In other news, this heat is driving me in-fucking-sane! And it isn't going away, right away. This heat wave is supposed to last for most of the week. Did you know it was 113 in LA, yesterday? It doesn't get to 113 in LA.

No such thing as Global Warming, my big, fat, dimpled white ass.

I have been watching Thintervention on Bravo. Interesting program. This is a bunch of whiny, complaining, non compliant brats. And I am so. sick. of the voice overs by Joe trashing the girls and making nasty remarks about fat girls in grocery stores, working out and how a fat girl can never be attractive or get laid and so forth. It is insulting and offensive. And he should have been called on it. Perhaps he still will. I mean, he makes all of these horrid comments about these women, but he is a fatass, too and in the same program. Geeze! What. An. Asshole.

Okay, I don't have a lot to natter on about, at the moment. I just needed to come on in and be accountable. Honesty with myself and my readers is important. It helps me. Moves me forward and helps me not to slip out of control and spiral back into the morass.

I need another cup of coffee and I think that I am finally hungry enough to do a late brekkie. Yay! Oatmeal. :P

A Smooth NSV

I can shave my legs again. :D

Have you any idea how long it has been since I had such smooth, silky legs? Years, girls. Years.

I am lucky, in a way... I have very fine, light hair on my legs. I have darker coarser hair on my toes and a couple of spots on my ankles (what the hell is up with that????) so it isn't as if I have walked around being followed by Bigfoot hunters, or anything. But I still like smooth, hair free legs. And I finally have them, again. It is lovely to be able to shave then swiftly, easily and most importantly, safely. (Imagine that conversation with a local firefighter/paramedic lolol)

In other news, food is nicely on track, I am hydrating well. I have puff. Urgh! A little too much sodium, recently. I need to flush that out or I will end up with a not so great weigh in next Thursday.

It is hot, today and we just had to close the windows and blinds and fire up the A/C. This is stupid. Our last bill was almost $250.00. I was hoping that it would cool off and we could get it under $100.00 again, but that isn't happening this month.

I put some cat food up on Freecycle, this morning. I had some Friskies Indoor Delights crunchies that Marley didn't like. He likes Surfing and Turfing Favourites. In the purple bag. I received fifteen replies, all wanting and needing the cat food. I couldn't decide whom to choose, so I finally just started circling my cursor over the e-mails, closed my eyes and clicked. And the e-mail that opened, that person received the cat food.

Well, my brain is drained. I think I will surf the blogs, see what everyone is up to. See if any more pics from BOOBS have been posted.  Those of you there have a responsibility. :D

Okay, later, gators.

Hey, What the Hell Happened to Fall???

It is sunny, 83 degrees and it got so hot here in my condo that I had to fire up my A/C. And it is supposed to be in the nineties, over the weekend and into next week. WTF?

Otherwise, things are pretty boring, around here. Housework. A little kitchen witchery, laundry. I am cooking a chicken breast half for Husband in my toaster oven. He likes them baked with coating. Which is fine, tho I do get a little tired of having to cook chicken two ways just because he wants his baked. *rolling my eyes*  He and I have absolutely nothing in common, food wise and his picky, plain food habits drive me insane. It is bad enough that I have to cook one meal. It is even worse that I have to cook two. Blech!

I learned how to use the movie mode on my camera but it only makes silent videos. But it worked well enough for me to post my first little video on my nail blog. :D I need to get a new camera, one day so that I can record and upload vlogs now and then.

Food is good, today. I am actually running a bit low, calorie wise. I am going to grill chicken and Summer squash for dinner, tonight. Yum.

Okay, that is all I have and I had to drag that out of myself. lol

Later.

Maybe. :D

Could Someone Zap Me With a Clue, Please?

About embedding You-Tube videos? I chose the smallest pre available size it is still too big, so I need to customize. What is the best numbers so that it fits properly into my two column Minima template?

It has got warm. I actually had to turn my stupid A/C on, this afternoon. Shake and bake. Freeze in the morning, roast in the afternoon. I can't wait until it is consistently cooler and I don't have to run air and I can put all of the fans away. I am sooo over this heat.It's frigging Fall, for shit's sake!

And... I'm officially out of anything to say, right this moment. lol

Happy Autumn!

Good morning, my little Autumn leaves. (And to my dear Leafy One, if you happen to see this. :D) Today is the first day of Autumn and this morning finally brought a breath of my favourite time of the year. It is 44 degrees this morning, clear and crisp. My windows are open so my toes, nose and fingers are nipped with a chill. But I don't mind one bit. I am reveling in the cool. It is supposed to get good and warm, later. Hey, this is Arizona, after all. lol

Another reason for me to be delighted this morning is that I got on my scale and saw 325.6. Saw it, my eyes went out on stalks. You know, like a cartoon character and I said, "No frakking way is that right!" and weighed twice more to verify. (What is it with us weighing three times to verify? Sooo many of us do this and it cracks me up. lolol) Sure enough! 325.6 pounds. That leaves me 5.6 pounds lighter for the week. I can handle that. :D

So I am setting my official I Refuse To Blow It Over the Holidays start weight at 325.6. I am determined to be below 300 by the end of this challenge. In fact, I would like to be solidly below that number before Christmas. I haven't weighed less than 300 pounds at Christmas time since 1998.

Hot 'n Cold by Katy Perry always makes me go a little nutty. I love that song and I have to lip sync to it and dance when I hear it and my animals look at me as if I am totally insane, when I do. Which is understandable... the sight of me dancing, not so cute, actually. lol I am reminded of that line from Wild Hogs where one of the guys says about his dancing, "The music moves me but it moves me ugly." I can sooo relate. lol Yes, I watch an eclectic range of movies. From the sublime to the ridiculous. One of my favourite guilty pleasure movies is Down Periscope. *hangs head in shame*

I am asking myself if a second cup of coffee is really advisable, this morning. My brain is bouncing all over the inside of my skull. Oh, wait, BRB, I have to go back to You-Tube and  start another song. Hmmm... I think I am feeling a little Lady Gaga, now. My, my, my poker face.

Wow! Al Roker has lost a lot more weight, hasn't he? He is on The Weather Channel, right now and I took a good, careful look at him for the first time in a long time and he has really been working hard. He looks great, tho his face looks a bit sunken. Perhaps it is just that I have grown so accustomed to seeing the old, much rounder Al.

Hey, when did You-Tube start putting ads in before the vids? This is seriously annoying!



This is my official theme song. Today was the first time I have ever heard this song in it's entirety, I had only heard bits and pieces of it, before and it made me burst into tears. It is as if it had been written just for me. :D

Okay, I need to post this and check to be sure I embedded this correctly. If I did, I can't believe how easy it was, just copy and paste a code. And here I thought it was some sort of process. He. He.

Tomorrow

Is the first day of Fall.

Those of you doing this challenge, don't forget that it begins tomorrow and that you need to note your starting weight, somewhere. I am going to put mine in my title line. :D

I didn't realise it when I set this up, but the first day of Fall and my weigh in day fall on the same day. How funny is that? :D

I have had a busy, productive day today. I got all of my housework done, today was floor mopping day. Yay! Soooo much fun. *rolling my eyes* I also finished painting and applying decals and clear coating my hairstick. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

My cat is staring at me. Sometimes that little orange fool kinda freaks me out... KWIM? lol

All this wind and no rain. Man, if a tropical depression is going to blow over, you would think that we would at least get some rain from the damned thing.

I really don't have much more to yap about, right now. I just wanted to pop in and remind all challengers that I Refuse to Blow It begins tomorrow.

Kthnaxbai.

Dude...

It just occurred to me that I don't have to try to suck in my gut, squeeze against the wall and tilt my dining chair forward when I need to slide in behind it to manipulate the (ugly fucking) vertical blind. I now fit in that space easily.

When the hell did that happen? ***For the record, that furniture is in the same place as it always is. I move it for vacuuming and dusting then put in the exact same spot. I have to... My dining "room" is teeny tiny.lol ***

And why didn't it hit me until yesterday?

Hee!!!

Talk about an NSV. It feels good to know that I officially displace less air than I used to.

That is all until later; I am off to watch The biggest Loser and eat my oatmeal and have another cup of coffee.

And maybe I will go slide in behind the chair a few times and just revel in the easy. :D

Good Morning

So, how are all of my little raindrops, this lovely morning? Well. On track. Happy, I hope.

Things is good, hereabouts. My food is on track, in spite of pop chips. I came in at 1537 calories for the day. Yes, I broke my 1500 calorie ceiling. And I am not happy with myself about it. But, in the long run the calories aren't the issue for me, it is the fact that they trigger me to eatandeatandeatandeat them. So, pop chips can only be an occasional treat, not a keep a bag in the pantry kind of thing.

Yepper. If it triggers me, it is out.

This is my house. And I have to feel safe in it. And if there is a food item making me not feel that way, it is history. Even if it is potato-y crispy, salty, lower calorie goodness. lol

I have laundry to do, a bathroom to clean, broadloom to vacuum and so on and all I really want to do is sit on my ass and do nothing. I'll get to it. In fact, I need to get to putting my first load in my dryer and start my second load, now. I'll be back later to read everyone. And post, if the spirit moves me.

Okay, later, gators. :D

Just a Quickie, Tonight

Okay, I heard you all come splashing down in the gutter with me.What a dirty minded bunch I hang around with. lol

Okay, first of all, I just wanted to update on the adding an image to your slideshow. All you have to do is add the image you want to add to your slideshow to the album it is linked to. It might not show up right away, but it will after some time. I added something and it took a while to actually make it's way into my slideshow but it did get there. So, that was easy. :D

Today was a pretty good day. A little boring. We got the housework done early and then I was able to eat up some more time making brekkie, eating it, showering, doing my face and hair and so forth. Then I vegged on the sofa for the day. Played on my 'puter and did my nails. Total sloth. A total sloth day, now and again is a good thing.

I hope that we can walk, tomorrow. Husband needed one more day to rest his rhoids.

I have a couple of B disaster movies that I recorded to my DVR on SyFy. I can't wait to pop some popcorn and watch them. I love cheesy disaster flicks where the entire world hangs in the balance and the only one who can save it is a D-Lister with over the top acting and fabulously fun dialog. Don't forget the special effects. I especially love the floods. Full sized water drops against miniatures! Nothing like set designers who have no concept of a little thing called scale.

Food was decent today. I discovered the love that is pop chips. They are available at one of my local supermarkets. Probably shouldn't have found that out... lol

I am beginning to see signs of the old me. The me that was so not so heavy. When I am in my bathroom, washing my hands, brushing my fangs, what have you, when I move my arms or shoulders just right, I have hollows above my collarbones and just for a brief moment I actually see my collarbones before they slip back into hiding. Was a time, I had to really contort just to get any kind of movement. Now, they pop now and again without my thinking about it. Just when I move. :D I am seeing my kneecaps for the first time in years. When the light is coming in through my window, my lower arms actually look thinner. I can see the bone structure and a hint of my wrist bones. I am starting to see a little bit of definition in my face. My cheekbones show a bit, with highlight and blush and I am thinking that my jawline, which was sharp and well defined until I really hit the higher weight is thinking of returning.

I know, it is hardly monumental. But it feels as if I am getting short little visits from old friends. Old friends I haven't see in a long, long time. And it is good to get reacquainted.

There is a praying mantis on my ceiling above my sofa. She has been cruising around up there, all evening.

Okay, I am yawning so hard I almost split my jawbone so I guess it is time to hit the sack.

Good night, all you loverly folks. :D

ARRRRR!!!

Avast ye maties! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day. Grab yer shoulder parrots and pour a tin cup o grog and sail the high seas in search of treasure.

And Booty. ;) :P

Okay, it is obvious that I sucketh at being a pirate.

And since my cat ate my shoulder pirate, my husband hocked me gold earring and termites ate me wooden leg and I just lost me eye patch, I suppose it is time to give up on being a pirate, ay, maties?

Arrrr!!!

So, how is everyone this fine Sunday morning? It is a lovely day, here. It is going to get hot. Mid nineties, again. Urgh! I mean... Arrrrrrr! A/C again today. I don't see my electric bill ever going down, if this blasted heat keeps up.

Yesterday was a good day, food wise. Didn't get out and walk... Husbands rhoids were raging, again and he couldn't walk and he doesn't want me going out alone and it isn't worth arguing with him about at the moment. I am saving that bit of fun for a future date. ^^ Hopefully, his ass won't keep us benched, tonight. 

I am not holding my breath, tho. No matter how smashing I look in blue. 

I think I am going to try a recipe that is bubbling around in me brain (Arrrr!) tonight. If it works out, I'll tell ye all about it, tomorrow. If it doesn't... I will probably still tell ye all about it tomorrow. 

'Cause that is what I am all about.


Sharing.


Aren't I just a little ray of frakking sunshine? 


ARRRRRR!!!

How To: Make a Slideshow of Your Blog Awards or Photographs

All righty, then! I made my award slideshow and once again, Katie J. dropped me a hint and I figured it out. I want to thank everyone including Christine with her Powerpoint (which I have no clue how to use! lol) suggestions. I really appreciate your taking your time to help. <3

Okay, so you would like to make a slideshow. Trust me, this is easy. Shockingly so. If I can do this... You know the rest. lolol

Let's, for the sake of clarity and brevity and all that good gobbledygook pretend it is blog awards. (heh heh)

First thing you need to do is make a web album of the awards. I used Picasa. All of your images you upload to your Blogger blog automatically go into a Picasa album. I accessed it with my Gmail username. (I think I signed up for Picasa way back when... I must have...) I found my albums, then clicked the box above them titled Upload. It gave me the option to start a new album or add to my existing ones. I chose to make a new album. I named it, then I uploaded my award images from my computer to my new album. It allowed me to upload five at a time... I don't know how to make it do more than that at a time. So I did two batches. :D

Okay, once I had my awards in my new Picasa album, it was time to make my slideshow.

Be signed into your blog, click Design.

Click Add a Gadget.

Scroll down to and click Slideshow, a window will open. (Duh! lol)

Okay, from the top, down:

Title: Type in your title.

Source: Select Picasa Web Album.

Option: Keyword.

Keyword: Type in the album title you want to be in this slideshow. Make sure that you type it precisely as you named it in Picasa.

Options: Click to check Random Images box.

It may take a moment for your images to show up and you might see some random shit that isn't yours. But soon, you should see your images pop up and start doing their slideshow thing. The images will be a little smaller than in your album. I don't know why or how to correct that. I am happy with the size they are, right now. There probably is a way to make them a little bigger, but that is advanced stuff my 'puter skillz don't encompass at this time. lol

Oh! Don't forget to set the speed at which you want your images to change. You have three options, slow, medium and fast.

Watch your slideshow to be sure that all of your images are playing and you are happy with the speed, then click Save. Then move it to where you want it to live and enjoy. :D

I am assuming that if I receive another award, I can just remove my present slideshow, add the new award to my Picasa award album then start up a new slideshow and park it. I'll let you know if I have to do it. 

I hope that this helps and makes sense.

There is probably a way to do this with other photo hosting services, there are other options in the set up box, but my experience was with Picasa. If you want to use a different one, you will need to play with it and make it work.

Okay, so, go make a slideshow.

Go on.

Get to it! :D

A Call For Help

I would really appreciate it if someone who knows how to use the feature to make pictures, blog awards and so forth into a slides how would zap me with a clue how to do it. I tried, (but I couldn't figure it out, of course lol) as I wanted to put my awards into a slide show so that they take up less room in my sidebar. I love them but they are beginning to clutter up the place a little bit. lol And besides, that slide show thingamajig is so. cool. And I want one. :D

Thank you. <3

A Little Bloggy Business: Newer Followers :) And Random Nattering

Hello love bugs. I see, much to my delight that I have new followers. Hello! :D

If you are following me and have me on your blogroll and would like me to do the same and I haven't yet, could you please drop me a comment in this post with your blog name and URL? I am not good at finding blogs by clicking on icon pics. I think I have also forgotten to follow a couple of URLs given to me in the past. And I apologise for that. But I would like to follow you and add you, so please, pretty please, leave me your info?

It is going to be another hot one, today. Summer is definitely getting in it's last licks and torturing us with heat. At least it isn't humid. See, there is always something for which to be thankful. :D

The air got smokey, last night but it seems to be clearer, this morning. If it stays decently clear, we can walk, tonight. Yay!!!! I am so ready to get out and have a good walk. I miss my walks, terribly. And I really, really, really, really need a little time out of this freaking house. I am getting to the point that I am fantasizing about cans of gasoline and lit matches.

Housework is done for the day. I keep a very tidy, clean house so it doesn't take me long to get everything done in the morning. And, when he is off, Husband helps, so that makes it go even faster. That is one of his saving graces, his helpfulness around the house. Even after a long, hard day at work, he will, without complaint, cheerfully help with dinner, cleaning up the kitchen and making sure the house is neat and tidy before we hit the hay. And he often scoops the litter box, sweeps the laundry room and kitchen floors in the morning, before he leaves so that I don't step on kitty litter tracked around by a certain set of little orange paws in the night with my bare feet in the morning. So, I guess he isn't all bad... :)

One day, soon I need to sit down and rip my CDs to my computer. I did that with my other laptop and I loved being on my puter with my ear buds  in, listening to music.

Food was good, yesterday. I came in at 1144 calories. I can be happy with that. :D

Okay, I have to skedaddle. I have blogs to read.

Later, gators.

This and That and BYOC

Hello my little chipmunks. I hope that everyone had a great day. :D

Mine was pretty good. I got my laundry done, cleaned my house and spent a lot of time prepping and repainting a few hairsticks. I like to rework things I already own and make them look new and different when I can. I get something "new" and it costs me very little. And having little projects keeps my food finding fingers busy.

I heard that the Forest Service is finished burning out at Highland Pines and is moving on to Crown King. Yay! I thought the air was clearer, today. Maybe it will stay that way and I can hit the road, tomorrow. It has been eight days since I had a good walk. 

My husband is a moron. He just walked in the door and came over and zoomed his finger right at my wet hairsticks and almost touched them. Geeze! I had to tell him, "Don't touch!" as if he were a toddler or something. *sigh*

Why does he come home?

Mama needs some time out. Of the house. Away from males who drive me insane.

Now he should be asking for my laptop so that he can check his e-mail.

Yep. He did. This time, I got smart and reduced this page and opened IE for him. My blog entry was safe. :D

Okay, time for BYOC:

1. Last week we asked your favorite thing about being an adult. This week the question is: what is one thing you miss about being a child?

How slowly time used to pass when we were kids. A day was long. A week felt like a month, a year took forever. As we get older, the time passes faster and faster and faster. Shouldn't it be the other way around? 

 2. When you make a serious life decision – do you use your head or your heart?

My head. I am a planner. An organizer and I like to know all of the angles. 

  3. In relation to blogs….are you a never commenter, a sometimes commenter, an almost always commenter or a direct emailer kinda person?

I am a sporadic commenter. I will comment like a madwoman, then pull back and you won't hear from me for a while. Then I will sprinkle comments here and there. I often read posts that touch me deeply and I feel and want to express the thoughts and feelings that are whirling through my head and I click the comment button but I can't make it move from my brain to my fingertips. And I sit there, my cursor blinking mockingly at me as my mind is a sudden swim of blankness. So, I hit the exit button and run like the stupid fool I am. lolol I don't e-mail. I feel as if I am intruding where I don't belong.  

 4. If life was a flavor – would it be savory, sweet or sour?

Sour like a bag of green persimmons.


5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in life or in blogland.

My week has been busy and up and down. I didn't make the most stellar choices in food but I still managed, against the odds to drop 2.4 pounds. The Forest Service decided to burn the underbrush and we suffered through a week of nasty, smokey, miserable air. But those burns will hopefully save lives and property, should God forbid a fire start in those areas. I didn't get to walk, but I am still enjoying the fruits of my efforts on the road and I should be back in action, tomorrow. 

 So, there you have it. (I can't get the bold to go off! How stupid am I? lol) Oh well. 

Have a great night, everyone. :D 


Nutty stuff happens when you copy and paste. I ended up with half of Draz's blog page, including her header in my post. :P

Thousand Word Thursday

Today's Thousand Word Thursday is a favourite piece of jewellery. Or more than one. :D

I really like my wedding set. I am heavy into sparkle. Like a crow, I like sparkle. I see something shiny and my head rotates so fast I am surprised that I haven't broken my neck.

My wedding set is three separate rings, two eternity bands and a solitaire. When I want to go all out and really shine like a beacon in the night I stack them all up. For day to day wear, I just wear my slim princess cut eternity band. It is a great everyday wedding band.

These pics were taken almost seventy pounds ago. I really should have taken new pictures, but my hands are kind of dry, right now and I hate them and I don't want to. *stamps foot*

So, there you have it, my little raindrops, my Thousand Word Thursday. :D

Weigh In Thursday

331.2

Down 2.4 from last week's weigh in.

*sigh*

I swear, I am never getting out of the 330's. I have been there for over a month. *puts back of hand to forehead, tilts head back and sighs, dramatically*

I know it is my own danged fault. I ate to bring on The Puff Monster. I made the choice to ingest more calories than I should, thus slowing my progress. I don't blame anyone or anything else. I am culpable.

And I am going a little bit crazy. lol I just really, really, really, really want to get below 300 before the end of the year, if I possibly can. I think it would be fun to start my new year in a new "century". And I am dying to blonde my hair and I can't until I am under 300. Well, I can... But I am choosing to wait until I hit that milestone. It is the carrot dangling in front of me and it will be a wonderful reward. :D

I still can't go walking. The burning continues. Whoever released the news that there would be no burning on Wednesday and Thursday was lying through their teeth! The smoke is even worse than ever.

I will be back later to read all of your blogs, do Thousand Word Thursday and so forth.

Later, gators. :D

I am Challenging All of You!!!

As we all know, the Holidays are swiftly approaching. And we all know what that can mean...

Weight gain. Anywhere from 5 to 15 pounds. Or more...

Yikes!

From the beginning of the Fall cool down to the first of the year, we feel the need to stock up. To bulk up. To nom on comfort foods. Thick, rich stews, roasts, hot, yeasty breads, saucy casseroles, apple pie. Then there are the treats that we associate with  all of the various holidays and special occasions and parties that abound this time of year.

Well, I believe that we don't have to travel down that ruinous road. We can chose better! We can continue to lose our weight as we navigate the Season. Parties? Pshaw! We can eat a healthy meal before we arrive, sip diet soda or mineral water and snack on the veggie platter. Thanksgiving? Thank goodness we know how to cook turkey the smart way, can prepare healthy, delicious sides that work in our plan and make our spirits and our families happy.

Christmas and Hanukkah are mine fields of parties and eight day long celebrations. Fruitcake, fudge, cookies and potato latkes. And don't forget the eggnog.

Actually, do forget the eggnog. lol

The premise of this challenge is simple. It is a personal challenge for each of us. We are not competing against each other. We are challenging ourselves to hold the line, stay on track and lose weight, not gain it.

Here is how it works. If you wish to join up, simply snag the badge below. You can join the challenge any time between now and the end. Tho I suggest you start the first day of Fall. :D Place it in your sidebar with the title above stating that you refuse to blow it over the holidays and below, in the caption line, keep a running total of weight lost from the first day of Fall to New Year's Day. (Simply edit that line each time you weigh in between those dates.) Please see my badge in my sidebar for an example. At the end of the challenge, drop me a comment with amount of weight lost during that time and I will do a post lauding all of you and your fabulous accomplishments!

Here is your badge:

So, ladies and gentlemen, join me and let's all Refuse To Blow It Over the Holidays! Please leave me a comment if you decide to join, just so I know that you are in. :D

I Wish Wednesday

Hello my little bluebirds of happiness. How the heck are you all? Well, happy and on track and heading in the downward direction, I hope. :D :D

Today is Wednesday. I think I will do "I Wish Wednesday".

I wish that the burning in the forest would stop. I am in misery. And it is being done to me against my will and I resent it.

I wish that I had not murdered my poor espresso/cappuccino maker. I miss it, terribly. And I am growing weary of instant coffee.

I wish I had smaller, more narrow feet. Land yachts on the end of my legs... Not so pretty, actually.

I wish my boobs would shrink faster. Seriously, folks. These things need to go. They are horribly heavy and wearing them is agony in the extreme.

I wish that I had a little, teeny, tiny nuclear weapon I could drop on my neighbour's house.  It needs to be done.

I wish that I could have a break from my headaches. I just want to know what it feels like to go one week without head pain. Is that too much to ask?

I wish I lived closer to my mother. She is amazing and she is my touchstone and my best friend and I miss her face.

I wish that I could go back in time and hug my son when he was a fat, squishy toddler, just one more time. Parents with little ones, don't wish for your tiny ones to grow up, too often. Because they do. Way too fast. One day they are fat, squishy toddlers and the next they are looming on 22 and you are left wondering where the hell the time and your baby went. (Yes, I am freaked the hell out that my son will be 22 in December. Shit! I am getting old! lolol)

I wish I had another cup of coffee and didn't have to actually get off my ass and go make one.

I wish that all of you knew just how grateful I am for each and every one of you! Your stories, points of view, snark and gentle meanderings fill my heart and brain and spirit with the best food I could ever ask for. Your support carries me when I want to give up and your brutal honesty jars me to rethink a wrong path I have begun to walk. Without this community, I don't know where I would be, today. I strongly suspect it would be in deep trouble.

Have a fantastic Wednesday, gentle readers. Eat well, move your bodies and love yourselves. You deserve it. Always.

Piss Fir Willy Has to Die!

The smoke is so bad, tonight. It wasn't too bad in here, earlier because I had the air on but now that it is off and the windows are open, it is just a horror show in here. I looked out my window a little while ago and in the cone of light under the streetlight there was just thick, nearly opaque smoke.

My eyes are burning, my throat hurts, I keep coughing and blowing my nose and my chest is tight. I have another migraine from the depths of hell. 

Piss Fir Willy has to die.

Other than that, I have had a pretty good day. Today was GI My Bathroom Day. What fun. I keep my bathroom clean but every now and then, I feel the need to give it a good, old fashioned GI scrubbing and scouring. Guess what. No panting, puffing, gasping for breath and feeling as if I were going to fall down from the exertion. I worked, hard. And I just breathed. Normally. I didn't have to sit down. Take four or five breaks during the process of scrubbing my bathroom. I just worked steadily and did my thing. It is amazing how much less time a task takes when you aren't taking a break and sitting on your ass on the sofa, every few minutes. lol

Amazing what losing a few pounds and walking a few miles can do for a girl. :D

I also did a few loads of laundry. One big load and two smaller ones. Gah! Enough laundry! I am not doing any more for a few days! lol

Oh, I needed to buy moisturiser the other day and the gal at Walgreen's suggested Cera Ve. I had never tried it and so I bought the PM lotion. Oh. My. Gosh. So far, I like. It is silky, lightweight, not at all greasy but my skin is nice and soft. I got the PM formula because of my allergy to chemical sunblock. I find that it works nicely day and night. I haven't tried it under makeup, yet. If it passes that test, this moisturiser will go into my permanent rotation. I think it will be nice, with a heavier night cream, as the weather gets cold and the air even drier. Around here, the humidity can drop to below zero in the cold months. I spend all of my time slathering my skin in oils, lotions and creams. Dry skin blows the big one. lol

Husband heard that there is supposed to be no burning Wednesday and Thursday so hopefully we can get a couple of walks in, this week. We need a break from the pall of smoke and I need the exercise.

Food is really good again, today. Taking a page from Chris's book, I sat myself down and chewed myself out about my loosey-goosey calorie target range, lately. My weight loss has slowed, I think in part because I have been letting myself get away with higher calorie days. Too often. I have a 1200 to 1500 target range but lately it has been, 1650? That's fine. 1700? No big deal. 2000? Uh... Just don't do it, again. Yeah, right. So, as I said before, I chewed myself out really well and told myself that there will be no more playing fast and loose with the target range. A 1500 calorie cap means 1500. Not 1550, not 1600 or more. 1500. With my traditional higher cal day on Thursday. (Not to exceed 2000.)

Exercise is at present being held hostage by the Forest Service. I will get out and walk once the air is clear enough for me to do so safely. Meanwhile, I have been doing things like walking around my condo, climbing my stairs and so forth to keep myself moving. I can't do Walk in Place type cardio. It is too hard on my hips. The pounding is painful. Walking is better.

I can't really think of anything else to natter about, right now so I guess I will go hit the sack. Have a great night and I will see you all tomorrow. And catch up on everyone. 

Tutorial: How to Add Pages To the Top of Your Blog Page

Hello goils and gois. :D

Today I would like to share with you how to add pages to the top of your blog page. This is a great feature to use. You can add a Contact Me Page, a special Photo Page, an About Me page, your disclosure/disclaimer page.

Thanks to a little help from our own lovely and sweet Mz. Katie J and a little digging around I finally learned how and I am now confident enough in the process to share it with you.

Trust me, my little chickadees, this is easy-peasy! If I can do it, you can, too. Are you ready? Great! Buckle up and take it step by step.

Step one: You need to make your Home page. To do this, be signed in to your blog. Click the Design tab. You will arrive at your Add and Arrange Page Elements page. Find Add a Gadget under your header and click it. A dialog box will pop up with stuff you can add. At the top of the list will be an option for Pages. Select that option. Now, here is where my memory fails me a little, I don't remember the exact thing I clicked, but I think it was the Home box, then I clicked add and save and I had my Home at the top of my blog page. (Just play with it, it is easy, really. I just have a brain of mush and can't remember the exact thing to do. *blush*)

Okay, now that you have your Home page, it is time to get those little fingers loosened up and start making other pages. Remember, it is easy-peasy. Be not afraid, my young apprentice.

When you wish to add new pages, you may have ten, in total. (I don't know if that includes Home or not.) just click New Post. Under the tabs for Comments, Settings and so on, you will see three tabs that read: New Post, Edit Posts, Edit Pages. Click on Edit Pages. A page will come up with a blue box/button that reads: New Page. (As you add pages, you will see them listed here.) Click the blue box/button. Now you will have a page to write just like your normal blog pages.

Title your new page, write whatever you wish to write, add photos, graphics, whatever you want on that page. When you finish, click Publish Post and Voila! Like magic, you will have your new page at the top of your blog page! :D

When the time comes to edit those pages, if you want to make any changes to information, add or remove or move photos or whatever, just scroll to the end of the page, just like a normal post and click the pencil and you may edit to your little heart's content. If you decide to delete one of your pages, just go to the page with the blue box/button and click Delete under that page title and Poof! "Twill be gone.

Now, just repeat these steps to add/edit more pages and they will appear at the top of your page.

I don't know how to put the page navigation in little tabs or boxes or anything. I know that there is a way to do it but I don't know how, yet. There is also a way to move them around to change the order, I think that is done in Edit when you get to the Add and Arrange page. I haven't needed to try it, I just added my pages in the order I wished them to appear. Again, just play with it, you will figure it out long before I ever do. lolol

So, there you have it. How to add pages to the top of your blog page. I hope that these instructions were clear and easy to follow. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I will do my best to help, but please remember, I am not a 'puter goddess. I am just kinda feeling my way along in the dark, here. :D

Otherwise, my day is going well. Food is really good. I am on target for calories and have a few to spare for a little sweetie, later. The air around here is better and I hope to be out on the road tomorrow to get my walk. I miss my walks! We got a little shopping done, tho Husband didn't want to go to the grocery store. Why, I will never know and I am over asking and trying to understand his bullshit, effed up head. Whatthefuckever.

I think I will go boil some water and straighten the cable on my circ. I hate Susan Bates circular knitting needles. They are crap. With a capital K, dudes. If I had a lot of moolah to blow on needles it would be Addi Turbos for me. I love, love, love fast, slick needles and Addis are supposed to be the best. I have another Swiffer pad on my needles but I need to transfer it to my circs, since Husband used one of my size 7 straights to dig hair out of the drain and ruined it. Scratched it all up. I am just pissed. Those were good needles. Super slick and fast. Now, they are junk. *sigh*

Where I Finally Knit Something Useful

Hello my little love bugs. How's life treating all you fine people, today?

I forgot to post this. A while back I knitted a mopping pad for my Swiffer Wet Jet. I was tired of paying nearly ten dollars a box for the disposable pads. One use and in the trash. It just galled me. But I like my Swiffer Wet Jet. It is lightweight, easy to use, the cleaning fluid or juice as we call it around here cleans really well, dries in a snap and leaves my house smelling nice and fresh for hours. I get a lot of uses out of a bottle of juice so I don't mind buying that.

One day I wanted to wash my floors but I didn't have any pads, so I just put a hand knitted dishcloth on the floor, planted my Swiffer on it and went for it. It worked, after a fashion. My floors got clean but trying to keep the cloth under my Swiffer was a royal pain. It kept rolling and bunching. So, I decided to go buy some cotton yarn and knit my own reusable mop pads.

I simply knit two rectangles slightly bigger than my Swiffer (to allow for the inevitable shrinkage after laundering) with Sugar and Cream cotton yarn in Natural on size seven needles in moss around the edges and stockinette in the field. I used a tapestry needle to sew the two together then hand crocheted the string ties, sewed them on and I was ready to rumble.

The moss stitch edges are great for keeping the pad from curling and they get right down into edges so that my floor gets clean from edge to edge. Love that. :D The pad does a very nice job of cleaning, overall. It doesn't slide and glide as easily as the disposable, I have to put a little muscle into it, but it isn't all that hard. This pad nicely cleans my laundry room, kitchen and bathroom. If I needed to go over them twice, I can just untie and flip the pad. That could also be done for cleaning much larger floor areas than I have.

I know it looks really amateurish.  I am not a super good knitter. I taught myself from a book and I think I have limited true talent for it. But I love to knit and make simple things. I am still trying to learn how to knit in the round on two circs because I long to knit socks. I need to dig my stuff out and get back to trying, I know that if I keep reading the directions and practicing, one day I will get it. All of my beautiful sock yarn might be long eaten by moths and I might be too old and grey and blind to see the stitches by that time... lolol

Anyhoozle, the mop pad works great. I think I cast on 55 stitches long and worked it 32 rows long. I did three rows of moss top and bottom and two stitches in moss on each end. It was really easy to make and I need to get another cast on. I got one double layer pad and ties out of one super sized ball of Sugar and Cream cotton yarn.

That is the old style Swiffer Wet Jet. They changed the design recently but I see no reason to buy a new one while this one is still working just fine. :D

Okay, I have to run. I need to get my arse in the shower. Probably should get the rest of me in there, too... :p Get some makeup on and get ready to get going. I have some running around to get done. I'll get a little exercise doing that. Hopefully the air will clear enough that I can walk, soon. I am beginning to feel like a rusty old Tin Man. lol

Bye!

I am In Hell

The burning continues and so does my misery. My eyes are burning, my throat hurts, I am sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose constantly. I am having non stop migraines. I want to run away and never come back.

Otherwise, all is pretty well. Food is good. I still can't get out and walk and I am pissed. I feel pretty good, physically and I am jazzed to go and I can't.

And it sucks.

Husband brought home a cute Fall decoration for me, today. It is a scarecrow. He wants to get another one so that I can hang them on either side of the fireplace. And one for the front door. I am thinking I would like a wreath for my front door. I am kind of a traditionalist, that way. I will be getting my Fall decor out, pretty soon. Then in October, I add my Hallowe'en decorations. I love this time of year.

This morning, it was chilly. I actually had to put on a warmie and my slippers for a while.

On second thought, hanging those scarecrows by the fireplace isn't such a great idea. We will have to use it before the decorations come down and that could be a bad scene. I'll find other places for them.

I guess I had better get to making a shopping list. I have a lot of running around to do tomorrow. I am looking forward to getting out of this house for a while.

9/11/2010

Fly 'em if you've got 'em.

BYOC

If your local newspaper wrote a story about you, what would the headline be?

Woman Does So Many Loads of Laundry in One Day, Her Washer and Dryer Rebel and Kill Her in Her Sleep

Name one thing you like about being an adult.

The freedom to make my own decisions. Win, lose or draw, my choices are my own. :D

What was your favourite Saturday Morning cartoon when you were a kid?

Scooby Doo. 

When was the last time you told someone how you HONESTLY feel about them? 

I tell my son that I love him often.

Summarize your week in life and Blogland.

I got rid of my puff, found out I can wear clothes I haven't even been able to look at for many years. Lost one point six pounds. I have read some interesting and thought provoking posts. Posts that have resonated with me in different ways. I am slowly beginning to rediscover my inner bitch. And my inner goddess. I have missed them both terribly. And am really happy to see them emerging, even if tentatively, right now. I am beginning to assert myself a little more in my marriage and my husband is starting to listen to me a little more. I had to cut and file all of my nails back, due to breakage of one. No worries, they grow. 

Good lord... I have a pathetic life... lolol

Smoke, Rising

I don't like seeing smoke rising. I grew up in NorCal and have had experience with forest fire and thick, rising smoke means everything bad and frightening to me. We lived out in Highland Pines (out in the direction from which the smoke today is coming) for almost five years and if we were still living out there, I would be freaking the hell out, right now.

Every time there was a fire, every time I saw smoke I would start running through my bug out plans. I would gather leash and carrier, pet food, get my document organizers out and ready to grab, shut down my laptop and put it in it's bag and put it and my purse and keys by the front door. I would shower, put on my makeup, do my hair and dress, so that I wouldn't look like a refugee, should we have to run. And the whole time I would be praying pleasedon'tletitbeafire!Pleasedon'tletitbeafire! We were lucky, every time I readied to run, there was no reason to do so. But I am done with being afraid. I am done living in the trees. I love, love, love living in town. :D

I won't be walking, tonight. No, my hip is fine. But before you blast me, let me 'splain, Lucy. I have asthma. I am lucky, it is chronic, not acute, so I don't take daily controller meds but I can and do have attacks. Mine are triggered by environmental factors, smoke, smog, chemical fumes, humidity. Stress can also do me. And I just don't relish the thought of trying to do two miles in this smokey air. Collapsing by the side of the road and lying there while paramedics pump me full of oxygen and drugs isn't exactly my idea of a lovely evening. lol The last time I had a major attack, I was working in Laughlin. I went downstairs while I was on break and someone was mopping the employee dining room with a very strong bleach solution. Next thing you know, yours truly is gasping like a beached whale, the paramedics had to be called and I got to leave work early. In an ambulance. Do Not Want. lol

I am still doing laundry. Yay. I am down to three loads. Some sweaters, Some regular darks and a load of fleeces. I didn't realise until I went through everything how much fleece I own. lol I have four jackets, my "new" vest, a long robe. That doesn't include the micro-fleece (soooo soft!) warmie tops I already washed and hung up in my closet.  I should be plenty cozy and warm, this Winter.

I suppose some mention of how my day is going, eating wise might be in order, since this is, first and foremost a weight loss blog. Calories are good. I am sitting at 710, so far. I am nicely satisfied and not hungry. That is thanks to the lovely hunk of grilled chicken I nommed for lunch. I had it with grilled Summer squash. I could eat grilled squash almost every day.

Say, have you tried a grilled apple? I was prepping food to grill the other night and was casting around, looking for stuff to grill and my eyes fell on a ripe, red delicious apple. At first I thought, naw! It wouldn't work. Then I thought, why not try? So, I quartered and cored it, sprayed it lightly with Pam and tossed it on my grill. It got a blackened in spots, which wasn't bad, as those spots just slid right off and the fruit underneath was perfectly cooked. It was scrumptious.

I think that my dog and my cat should be very afraid. ^^ lol ;)

My, I am chatty, today...

Laundry, Laundry, Laundry

Warning: A lot of nattering ahead! lol

Hello, my little cream puffs. How is life treating all of you?

Things are pretty tolerable around here. I am not screaming or feeling as if I am going to kill someone, so I am counting that as a win. lol

It is a pretty day, sunny, warming up but certainly not hot. The cicadas are raising a ruckus in the the cottonwoods, birds are singing and my dog is all flaked out on her beddies and my cat is soaking up a square of sunshine.

I am hip deep in laundry. Not only did I have tow stuffed full hampers, yesterday I finally got up the nerve to dig out the containers of clothes I had in my closet and started trying on stuff. Yippee! a lot of it fits, again. These are things that have sat, folded or hung in a dusty closet for forever, unworn because I was too big to wear them. It is saying something when you get too big to wear a Roman's size 4X, people. When a 5X is tight. When you blew the button off a size 6X shirt one day when you tried to bend over to pick up something you dropped in Walmart. Oh, yes... That is where I was, at my heaviest.

So, I went through the containers. There is about half a container of stuff that I still need to lose into and are stashed in my closet. I have a pile that I am just about into and they are going to fit in about ten pounds or so, so they are getting washed and hung up to inspire me and to be ready when I can wear them. And I have a bunch of stuff that I can wear, now. A lot of them are Winter things and will need to wait a bit, until it gets cold, but some are wearable, now. A tad outdated, but classic, in very nice condition and something "new" to me. A change of pace from the few things I have worn for so long, due to being so very heavy.

I also went through my dresser drawers and shit canned a bunch of really ugly, old, raggedy stuff. It felt so. good. to toss that crap. I have worn them enough and I can't stand the sight of them, any longer. I then moves larger, but still in good condition tops from my "going out" to "just everyday, around the house type" wear. I kept two old, floppy, ugly tops for wearing when doing heavy duty cleaning. When I clean, shit flies everywhere. Bleach, cleaning supplies land all over me and I don't want to wreck decent looking stuff with bleach.

Oh! I tried on a pair of 30WT pants that have been in cold storage for at least nine years, unwearable, couldn't even squeeze into them. I got them on easily. They are still a teeny bit tight for wear in public, but in ten or fifteen pounds... Those bad boys will be beck in action. :D

I think I will be doing laundry until the rest of my hair turns grey. (I am about 40%, now...lol)

I got out the fleece jacket I wanted to convert to a vest, yesterday and took care of that little task. It turned out great. My little sewing projects are taking time, since I don't own a sewing machine. I do all of my mending and sewing by hand. Which I don't mind doing, but it is a bit time consuming. lol One day, I would like to get a nice sewing machine. I had an old, half busted down Brother machine that kinda worked and I got a lot of use out of it until it completely died on me. I would like my next one to be a bit nicer. lol

Smoke in the air and it is getting heavier. There is either a forest fire nearby or the frakking Forest Service has decided to start their yearly controlled burns. When they start burning, the air is heavy with smoke for weeks and weeks and it is miserable. Hell. My asthma acts up, I cough and cough, have trouble breathing, my eyes burn and am a real cranky puss. I know that controlled burns are a necessary evil. they get rid of underbrush that feed wildfires and keep the forest healthier, but dayumn!!!!

I think I am going to fire up my grill and cook my chicken. I also want some grilled summer squash for lunch. And I think I will cook some rice in chicken broth to go with dinner, tonight. Husband and Son both like rice, so I make it pretty frequently. We can have it with chicken and veg for dinner. :D

Shit! That smoke is making me sneeze and cough and my eyes are starting to burn. Waaahhhh!!!!

I'll be back to do BYOC, later. Time to fire up my grill. :D

Thousand Word Thursday

This week's Thousand Word Thursday assignment is to photograph a decoration in your home that has a lot of meaning to you.

This mirror is very old. It belonged to my Great Grandmother, then my Gran, my mother had it for years then she gave it to me. It isn't something terribly valuable, the frame is faux wood, it is made of poured plaster and hand painted to look like burl wood. (An old Victorian trick lol) The mirror glass is original, tho. And in lovely condition, considering how many times it has been moved and how many woman in this family have owned it. It means so much to me because we aren't a wealthy family, by any means, so to have something that has been passed down for so many years is important to me.

Creepy-Crawly

Good Thursday morning gentle readers. I hope that you all had a great day yesterday. I was reading, just didn't post or comment much. Wasn't feeling all that chatty, I guess. :)

Yesterday was a good day, calories were right on target and I got in a two miler. The weather has changed. We awoke to a stuffy day, hot, humid and cloudy, then the wind suddenly shifted and the clouds and humidity and heat just blew away. The skies cleared, the air dried out and the breeze lasted all day and it was a perfect, late Summer day. Warm but not hot, not humid... Just perfect. It cooled down pretty rapidly as the sun sank and I actually had to wear a sleeved top on my walk, last night. And I was able to sleep, curled cosily under my flannel duvet, last night. :D

I want to address a problem that some of you might be able to identify with. Creepy-crawly. As in, you have lost some poundage but you are still wearing the same capri pants to go walking in. And as you walk, the legs of said capris ride up, bunch oh-so-attractively between your legs, exposing your fish belly white calves and fat knees as you trudge along a busy main drag. What is really fun is knowing that all the occupants in all the cars lined up at the red light as you roll on by with your bunchy, riding up capris are probably pointing and laughing. And then... You do it.

The Lift and Shake.

Come on. I know you do it. Admit it. The bunchy, ridden up fabric has driven you to distraction and you just can't take it anymore so, you slow and as "sneakily" as possible ('cause it is possible to be really sneaky on the side of a major street at seven in the evening under a bright streetlight) lift one leg and shake and shimmy to get all that fabric back down where it belongs. Then, you pick up your pace and, ponytail swinging wildly pretend that it never happened.

And repeat about every tenth mile or so. Ahhh... Humiliation. When combined with car exhaust is a heady combination in which I suggest everyone partake on a regular basis. lol

Soooo... Yes. It is Thursday. And yes... I jumped on my scale. ***I freely admit that I was considering skipping this week's weigh in.*** And the verdict is: 333.6. Down 4.4 overall from last week. I figured it out (with my calculator, numbers make my brain melt) that 2.8 of that was most likely puff leaving me with a fat loss of 1.6 pounds. Not stellar. But, considering some of the less than optimal choices I made in the last week, not too shabby, either. 1.6 pounds is certainly not a fail and I will take it. :D

My cat is a weirdo.

It is only supposed to get up to 77 degrees, today. Then climb to a high of 88 on Tuesday then drop, again. I love days like this. :D

Okay, that is all I can think of to natter about, at the moment. I think I will go search out some brekkie. I'll catch all of you losers (and I mean losers in the best sense! :D <3 :D) later.

Oh! Speaking of losers... Fans of The Biggest Loser, heads up! The season premier is on Tuesday, the Twenty-First on NBC. Check your local listings for times, in your time zone. :D It starts at seven, around here. Okay, now I am going.

Ice Queen out.

Tagged for a Blog Award

Thank you so much, Bluebeari! <3

I am supposed to share ten things I like, then pass on the goodness.

Ten things I like:

1. Rain

2. Long, hot bubble baths

3. Taking photographs

4. The ocean

5. TV

6. Beautiful yarn

7. Solitude

8. Music

9. A sparkling clean house

10. Raunchy jokes

This award has been making the rounds, big time and I don't know exactly who to give it to, so I am going to give it to everyone who reads me who has yet to be tagged to receive it. This is not a cop out or cheating, it is a real, open giving of this award because I truly feel that you are all sweet friends. So, please, snag this and post it in your blog and tell us all ten things you like. :D

Goodbye Summer

Well, my little rainbows, it is Labour Day. You know what that means. Goodbye Summer.

Now, I know that technically, Summer is still on and in full swing until the 21 of this month. (Or is it the 22nd, this year?) But for me, once Labour Day is done, so is Summer. I go into full on Autumn mode. I start dragging out Fall stuff, planning my Fall decor, washing the warmer bedding, (even tho it is still yukky hot, at night lol) going through my little wardrobe, making sure that I have warm to wear. This year, when it gets cold, I will have more warm to wear... Stuff that has been stashed away for a long time because I had grown too fat for it. :D

It is Monsoon weather, today. Humidity blew back in and great rafts of grey clouds keep floating across the sky. But they aren't coming together and I suspect that no storms are in the offing. Which is good, since we need to go walk, later and Husband is freaky about walking in storms.

I don't want to jinx myself but I am a little, no a lot happy at how much better my hips have been feeling, lately. I don't know what I am doing right. But I am not in as much pain and walking is easier. Now, I don't know if this will last or for how long, but you can bet I am incredibly grateful for it, as long as it does.

Food is really good, today. I think I finally have the calories solidly back in my target range. I was a tad freaked out when I was letting them creep up, but it is good to know that when they do, I have the tools and skills to pull them back where they need to be. That feels very much like a "normal" kind of attitude towards food and calorie intake. And it really isn't that Earth shatteringly difficult. I am very pleased that I didn't let myself spiral out of control, start eating like nut and start gaining weight, again. Another hurdle cleared. Not saying here that I will never get out of control or gain any weight, but I think I am getting a good handle on the whole keeping it level concept. :D

Draz, I wasn't trashing myself in that post. I was talking about some inner dialog and the fact that I told it to STFU. :D

Husband wants to go walking earlier. Nuh-uh! No way. No how. Mama doesn't do heat exhaustion. He doesn't like it all that much, but tough shit. This is about what I want, my exercise and he can just suck it up and accept it. He doesn't get to control absolutely everything.

Slowing My Roll

You know how it goes... The creep. The slow, steady, ultimately disastrous creep.

You have a target calorie range. A range in which you feel well, the weight is slipping away or you are nicely maintaining.

Then it happens...

The creep.

One day. you eat at the low end of your range, feeling all smug, in control and right with the world. Your inner dialog is good and you are rocking the Casaba. Then, one day, you realise, much to your surprise and dismay you have somehow done the creep. And looking back, you realise just how insidious and comfortable it all was.

Your calories come in about mid range, one day. Don't worry about it! You tell yourself, "I am still in my target calorie range. It's all good. Don't worry about it." But a sneaky, tiny little voice is beginning to whisper, oh-so-softly around the edges of your brain, "You loser. You are spinning out of control and you don't even know it."

A day or two later, your calories are even higher. Top of your range. You are still justifying it by reminding yourself that you are actually still on track.

Technically.

And the little voice is getting stronger and reminding you that you are a big, fat, stupid, worthless, idiot of a failure. That you can't do this because as usual, you are spiraling down into your marass of disordered eating and you will gain all of your weight back and even more and you are in trouble.

And there is some truth to what the voice is whispering, then speaking, then shouting in your ear.

Then you look back at your written daily calorie and exercise log and OMG!!! You have been kissing and even doing the nasty with 2000 calories.

And the voice is at full volume and it is screaming at you. And you are listening to it. And it is making sense and you believe it and you think, What the fuck? Might as well. I am a failure. I lost some weight, but this is the time that I need to go ahead and run for the hills and screw this entire process into the ground and just accept my fate."

Time to dial it back. Time to slow your roll and get back in your chosen calorie range.

So, over the next couple of days, the calorie counts are falling nicely, you are back out on the road, clocking your two miles a day and you are not thinking that you are a loser and a failure and stupid and worthless. In fact, you are feeling pretty damned good. And good about yourself. You feel powerful, back in control and happy to be alive and feeling good.

And the voice?

You have told it to STFU. And chained the bitch in the storage room behind the garage with a roll of duct tape holding it's big, fat mouth shut. :D

Yeah, in case you didn't already guess, that has been the last week, for yours truly. lol

Our walk tonight was pretty nice. We did get attacked by a bunch of little beetle type bugs for a short stretch, but the didn't haunt our entire walk. Unlike the swirling swarms of gnats out at the lake.

The humidity has rolled back in and the Monsoon is thinking of firing back up. If we have to put up with the humidity, I would love, love, love some rain to go with it.

No special plans for the holiday weekend. It would have been nice to go out for a ride or something...

BYOC!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!! We're Back in Action!

Yay, Draz is back in the BYOC swing of things. And I am ready to play. :D

1. What is your favourite school supply? 

Oh my... I love office/school supplies. Paper, pens, staples, paperclips, binders, Pee-Chees... I could go on and on. If pressed to choose just one, definitely Ticonderoga #3 pencils. Oh! The fights I had with teachers who insisted I use #2 pencils. Not in this lifetime! I am a #3 girl, all the way. :D

2. Your house is on fire and you have just a few moments to grab five things. (Assuming people and pets are already out, safe!) 

I would grab my computer, my photo albums, my purse, The photos and paintings off my walls and, if I am not wearing it when the fire breaks out, my bra. 

3. What is your favourite drink, alcoholic or not?      

Non alcoholic: Crystal Light Peach Tea. I drink gallons and gallons and gallons every week. 

Alcoholic: A desert dry, ice cold vodka martini. With three olives that have had the nasty red gunk removed from them.  Ooo! That sounds good... :D

4. When is your Birthday? What is your Zodiac sign and are you like your sign? 

My Birthday is November 12. I am a Scorpio. And yes, I am very, very "Scorpio". lol My Chinese Zodiac sign is the Dragon. And I am very "dragon", as well. :D

5. Do a blog summary.  

Must I? lol

So, there you go, my chickadees. My BYOC for the week. And check it out, I finally figured out how to highlight. Go me. :P 

A Great Walk, Tonight

Well, tonight was our first walk on Willow Creek Road on the sidewalk. I have to say, I really liked it. The sidewalk is smooth and even, there are streetlights so the entire way is well lit and feels safe. We walked from the Fry's parking lot to the Circle K. It is just a little over a mile, one way. About a mile and a tenth, but I don't quibble over tenths so, I just call it a mile up and a mile back for a total of two.

The walk up is literally up. It is uphill, all the way. The climb is gradual and long, it isn't as if we are struggling up a steep, hard climb. But I can definitely feel it. I am nicely challenged but not made to feel as if I am working too hard. Then, we turn and burn back and it is all downhill. It's nice and easy and I can really put the pedal to the metal and put on some speed.

My only complaint about walking this way is all of the exhaust from the cars. Willow Creek Road is a main drag through Prescott and has pretty heavy traffic. By the time we got back to the car, I had an irritated throat and was coughing. It took a while for the coughing to stop. My throat is still a little unhappy. I need to carry water with me and drink, while I walk. I expect  that in time I'll get used to it.

I didn't binge. Calories are good at 1500 and a little change. Not too bad for a day I feared was going to be really. really. baaaad. :D And yes, I credit you all, your support and your blogs for helping to pull me through this day. I would be in trouble without all of you.

Well, I am tired and blogged out. I think I will catch up on unread blogs and call it a night.

Goodnight, my friends. Sleep well and have sweet dreams. And if you are weighing in the morning, I hope it is gooood.

Sorry About Yesterday!

Seriously, I am so sorry about my two post bitch fest and hate party. All I can say is I needed to unload a little and better here than actually spewing my anger and frustration on Husband. I have to work very hard to keep everything on an even keel around here and a screaming match won't do that so...

Anyway, again. I am sorry that you have to read all that bullshit.

My head is down to a Cat 2.5 this morning. I think a good night's sleep helped a little. I am feeling really strong binge urges. I am fighting with my head, my feelings and I want to just make them all go away. I am longing for a good numb out, a small window of time where I don't have to feel. But I can't do that. I can't allow myself to return to using food as a drug. Feeding won't make me feel better. It will only make me feel worse, reinforce my old patterns and pull me off track. Feeding to dull my feelings will only lead me back to darkness, despair, put the weight back on and make me have to do all of this all over, yet again. And I am not willing to go back there.

Shit. Another downer post. I suggest that you skip this shit. Seriously. I can't seem to STFU, right now. lol

It is going to be another warm one. The temp is rising, every now and then I get a breath of a refreshing breeze through my window, then it gets warm, again. I will probably have to fire up the air in a couple of hours. It will be nice when it finally gets cool enough that we don't need to run the air, any longer. Electricity in this state is really, really expensive and running the A/C just during the warmest part of the day can make our electric bill skyrocket.

Great. Now I have that stupid song, Afternoon Delight running through my head... *sigh*

Okay, now that I have once again been a Debbie Downer, I will go toss my sheets in my dryer and then read blogs. 

Hugs and Thank You!

I really am okay with this weigh in. I knew it wouldn't be a good one, due to my puffiness. And that is fine. I have one like this every now and again. It is how my bod rolls. And my life doesn't revolve around a number on my scale, so it's all good.

I should see a better number next week. :D

Busy day, today. I have a lot of stupid stuff that had to be done. Little, time consuming tasks that I put off as long as I can then just jump in and get to.

September is underway but you sure can't tell it by our weather. We had a brief and gorgeous little cool down but now the dog days are back with a vengeance. It was hothothot, today. I had to run the air all day and I almost grilled myself out on my patio when I stepped out to grill Summer squash for lunch. today. Blech! Hopefully, it will start really cooling down in the next few weeks. I seriously envy everyone who has Autumn in September. We don't get it until well into October, when the temps really go down and the leaves start changing.

Gah! My allergies are bad and my head is at a Cat 3.5 and is ramping up. I just want one frakking week... Just one without a migraine, please!

We aren't walking, tonight. I don't feel up to it and Husband is wiped. Seven of his crew called in sick. Seven of them! All on the same day. These are guys who have no vacation or flex days left to them. My husband's company has a fairly generous time off package with paid holidays off, paid vacation plus five paid flex/sick days they can use any way they like. One would think that would be enough time off for most people. Uh... No. These people use up all of their paid time off as fast as possible at the beginning of the year, then are calling in sick and leaving everyone else short and getting away with it. And they call in for BS reasons. I have told Husband that they need to cut the dead weight, get rid of those useless, worthless slackers and hire people who want to work and will actually come in to work. And then do their jobs without crying (literally crying!!!) and whining and complaining. You would think, especially in this economy, these arseholes would be grateful for a decent job with a living wage, excellent medical insurance and pretty nice perks like 401(k), retirement and all the services the company offers for free. But they are not.

What is it with people? They have no work ethic and have no sense of gratitude for anything. And, the worst part is, management can't just can these slackers and hire new crews. They have to go through a lengthy and torturous process to fire someone. (They are not Union.) They ahve to have a certain number of verbal warnings, written warnings and documentation up the wazoo before they can get rid of them. I feel sorry for Husband having to put up with all of that nonsense and having to go out and do their work, on top of all of his own.

Hey! I thought this post was gone for good. And I really bitched and moaned about it. But come to find out, Blogger saves unfinished work when you close or go away. Huh. Who knew. I still hate him for not listening to me, tho.

Just saying.

Who Wants to Bail Me Out of the Slammer?

***If profanity bugs you, fair warning!***

 'Cause I am going to need it. Soon.

I had a blog entry about 85% done when suddenly dumb-fuck (AKA Husband) just had to check his e-mail. At that very fucking moment. No, he couldn't wait for me to finish what I was working on. It had to be rightfuckingthen.

So... I open a new tab, pull up Yahoo so that he can log into his e-mail account and warn him that I have an open blog entry in progress and not to open or close any tabs, because he ran the risk of messing up my blog entry.

Well, guess what? He just had to, in addition to checking his e-mail, check the distribution report for our Chapter 13. And then, yep. You guessed it.

I am so mad I could spit nails. You would think that a 45 year old man could follow simple instructions. =I mean... What part of "Don 't open or close any tabs" didn't he understand?

Gah!!!!!!!!!!

Why am I making such a big thing of it? Well, I am in misery. I have a Cat 4 blow in my brain, right now and my allergies are about to drive me over the edge. I am cranky as hell and I keep typing in Martain because when my head is raging shit doesn't run smoothly between my brain and my fingers. I will think I am typing one thing and look at my screen and totally unintelligible gibberish is everywhere. Just thinking about words to type hurts. And now, here I am trying to put together a new entry, thanks to Mr. Idiot of the Century and his complete respect for anyfuckingthing I have to say.

Sometimes...

Anyhoozle. Thank you all for your lovely support and words of encouragement. They really do meant so much. I am totally okay with my not so hot weigh in. I know the source of it and since I don't live and die by the numbers on my scale, I am fine. I know that I am on track and doing what needs to be done and that is what really matters.

I was tagged for a blog award by Shrinking Blubeari and I will post it and my ten things and name recipients (shit! how did I manage to spell that with my brain imploding? lolol) when I feel more up to it.

I also have some new followers blogs to check out and a few mentioned in other blogs. But not tonight. lol Say, if you are following me and I haven't followed you back and you would like me to, please drop me a comment with your URL. I try, through clicking the little pictures and names and don't always find your blogs. Yes, I am a lame ass who can't do shit. And I am sincerely sorry. :D

Today was a pretty good day, food wise. I am nicely on target calorie wise. No walking for me, today. I just can't, when I feel like this. (If I already talked about this, I am sorry. My memory is all shot to hell, all I can remember right now is thuwump-thuwump-thuwump. (That is supposed to be what my brain sounds like, right now.)

Okay, I am going to go, now. The light from my screen is amking my eyes do funny things and my head expand and contract like big glass windows in a hurricane.

Speaking of hurricanes, everyone who is in the path of Earl, you are in my thoughts. Batten down the hatches and stay safe.

Good night, chickadees.