Husband got me a new S-Video cable and now I am ricking on the webz in colour, once again. :D The colours are a bit different than they used to show on my puter monitor, but at this point, I am not complaining. lol It is nice to have colour, again. The Internet is dull and boring in black and white.
Nail blogs, here I come! I missed you so much! lol
On top of that, I am having a good day. Back squarely on track after my little derailment. I know that this is going to happen once a=in a while and I have to handle it right. Not let it defeat me or give me the thinking that I messed up and all is lost.
As Chris said, we have to watch this every day for the rest of our lives. This isn't a temporary lark, here kittens. This is real and serious and forever. :D
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Oh, NO, No, No, No!!!
Flurries.
Snow flurries.
Snow frakkin' flurries.
The day started out alright... A little cool and windy but sunny and nice. As the day has progressed, tho dark clouds have blown in and the temp has dropped sharply. I put Sabryna outside to pee and shortly after I brought her in, the flurries began. The have ended, now. Nothing actually hit the ground... The snow was very fine and just blew and swirled through the air.
But it was still snow.
At the end of April.
And it is now colder than a witch's lunch bucket out there. Brrr... Guess the gal at Lowe's was right, after all. lol
Today is a little bit of a mess, food wise. I am sitting at 1501 for the day and dinner has yet to be had. Part of that was my weekly Subway sandwich. Not a problem. But about 400 of those calories was a little dry roasted peanut nosh I decided to have. Urgh. I knew what the hell I was doing when I did it. My head wouldn't still and I wanted to quiet my thoughts and it helped. And it was the wrong way to go about it.
After I finished the peanuts, I thought very carefully about what I had done and why. And I realised that had I just stopped, taken a few breaths and given myself a chance to think through why my head was busy, I could very well have handled it without eating the peanuts.
It isn't the 400 calories that is bugging me... 400 calories won't bring the world to a stop, it won't hurt me in the long run. It was why I ingested the 400 calories, my motivation. The fact that I allowed myself to, for a very brief amount of time once again treat food as if it were a drug, not the fuel I need to feed and nourish my body. I used it the wrong way and in doing so, hurt myself by abusing my trust in myself and my ability to think through difficulties and problems.
It hurts that I didn't trust myself. It hurts that I slid backward and into an old, destructive pattern. I hope that next time I feel this beginning, I can pull it back down by thinking it through and stopping it before it even gets as far as it did, today.
Oh wow. Now, the sky is clearing...
Arizona. Freaky weather central. lol
So what else is going on? My dog went outside earlier, came in and drank some water and instantly projectile vomited all over my laundry room floor. Lovely.
Not.
More like massively gross. *gag* And, since there were no guys home, I had to clean it up. I almost added to the mess, before I got it all cleaned up. *dry heave*
Stupid dog.
Okay, I think I have bored on enough, for now. I want to read blogs and catch up with everyone.
Later, gators. :D
Snow flurries.
Snow frakkin' flurries.
The day started out alright... A little cool and windy but sunny and nice. As the day has progressed, tho dark clouds have blown in and the temp has dropped sharply. I put Sabryna outside to pee and shortly after I brought her in, the flurries began. The have ended, now. Nothing actually hit the ground... The snow was very fine and just blew and swirled through the air.
But it was still snow.
At the end of April.
And it is now colder than a witch's lunch bucket out there. Brrr... Guess the gal at Lowe's was right, after all. lol
Today is a little bit of a mess, food wise. I am sitting at 1501 for the day and dinner has yet to be had. Part of that was my weekly Subway sandwich. Not a problem. But about 400 of those calories was a little dry roasted peanut nosh I decided to have. Urgh. I knew what the hell I was doing when I did it. My head wouldn't still and I wanted to quiet my thoughts and it helped. And it was the wrong way to go about it.
After I finished the peanuts, I thought very carefully about what I had done and why. And I realised that had I just stopped, taken a few breaths and given myself a chance to think through why my head was busy, I could very well have handled it without eating the peanuts.
It isn't the 400 calories that is bugging me... 400 calories won't bring the world to a stop, it won't hurt me in the long run. It was why I ingested the 400 calories, my motivation. The fact that I allowed myself to, for a very brief amount of time once again treat food as if it were a drug, not the fuel I need to feed and nourish my body. I used it the wrong way and in doing so, hurt myself by abusing my trust in myself and my ability to think through difficulties and problems.
It hurts that I didn't trust myself. It hurts that I slid backward and into an old, destructive pattern. I hope that next time I feel this beginning, I can pull it back down by thinking it through and stopping it before it even gets as far as it did, today.
Oh wow. Now, the sky is clearing...
Arizona. Freaky weather central. lol
So what else is going on? My dog went outside earlier, came in and drank some water and instantly projectile vomited all over my laundry room floor. Lovely.
Not.
More like massively gross. *gag* And, since there were no guys home, I had to clean it up. I almost added to the mess, before I got it all cleaned up. *dry heave*
Stupid dog.
Okay, I think I have bored on enough, for now. I want to read blogs and catch up with everyone.
Later, gators. :D
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A Temporary Solution
I'm back.
For now, anyway. :D
My monitor is just about totally dead but Husband was able to jury rig a temporary solution to the problem by running a cable from my computer to the TV. So, I am online in LCD widescreen. lol Only bummer is that it is in black and white... He couldn't figure out how to get it in colour, but hey, at this point I am ot quibbling. Being on in b&w is better tham nothing at all.
Lord willing, this laptop will get fixed or we will get a new one, soon. But at least I can get here and post and read as much as I can, each day as long as the rest of my computer continues to function. But, the same thing applies... If I go missing, that means the poor dear went totally tits up on me and I will be away until a new one is obtained. lol
Otherwise, I am having a good day... Eating well and my head is pretty okay. I admit, I was a bit freaked out this morning, when I couldn't get here and read my usual blogs. But, I talked myself through it and I was okay after a bit. I can do this, computer or no. But I prefer to be able to read and talk you all. *heart*
The wind is blowing like crazy here and I was't able to get out for a walk as planned but as soon as it calms a little, I need to start doing some road work. I want to see if I can goose up my loss rate a bit. :D Three pounds a week average is nothing to sneeze at but at my weight, I should be able to do better. Why, yes. I am competitive and a bit of a perfectionist, why do you ask? lolol
Okay, I am going to wrap this up, for now so that I can read a few blogs on my blogroll before my "monitor" has to be turned back into the family TV.
Hugs! :D
Please to forgive misspellings... Spellcheck in b&w is really hard to use. lolol
For now, anyway. :D
My monitor is just about totally dead but Husband was able to jury rig a temporary solution to the problem by running a cable from my computer to the TV. So, I am online in LCD widescreen. lol Only bummer is that it is in black and white... He couldn't figure out how to get it in colour, but hey, at this point I am ot quibbling. Being on in b&w is better tham nothing at all.
Lord willing, this laptop will get fixed or we will get a new one, soon. But at least I can get here and post and read as much as I can, each day as long as the rest of my computer continues to function. But, the same thing applies... If I go missing, that means the poor dear went totally tits up on me and I will be away until a new one is obtained. lol
Otherwise, I am having a good day... Eating well and my head is pretty okay. I admit, I was a bit freaked out this morning, when I couldn't get here and read my usual blogs. But, I talked myself through it and I was okay after a bit. I can do this, computer or no. But I prefer to be able to read and talk you all. *heart*
The wind is blowing like crazy here and I was't able to get out for a walk as planned but as soon as it calms a little, I need to start doing some road work. I want to see if I can goose up my loss rate a bit. :D Three pounds a week average is nothing to sneeze at but at my weight, I should be able to do better. Why, yes. I am competitive and a bit of a perfectionist, why do you ask? lolol
Okay, I am going to wrap this up, for now so that I can read a few blogs on my blogroll before my "monitor" has to be turned back into the family TV.
Hugs! :D
Please to forgive misspellings... Spellcheck in b&w is really hard to use. lolol
I May Vanish
Good Tuesday morning, lovebugs. :D
I just wanted to let you know that if I suddenly vanish from here for a while, I haven't gone off the rails and quit. Nothing untoward has happened to me, either. (I hope...lol) My computer is having pretty massive problems and I am not a 'puter expert so if it dies on me, it might be a bit before I can get a new one and be back.
Right now it is running very slow and my screen is so dim I can barely see it. I am hoping that I can get this thing repaired or replaced as quickly as possible. But things being as they are... Who knows.
I am going to try to do a hard shutdown in a bit, drop the battery and fire it back up and see if that brings my monitor back to a normal brightness for a while. I am hoping that I can get my photos off onto a hosting site. I think I have the bulk of them saved to disk (I burned two, just to be on the safe side) but I would like to host them as a back up, too. I don't think I dare try to burn more disks, the way this thing is behaving.
Geeze, this sucks.
I just wanted to let you know that if I suddenly vanish from here for a while, I haven't gone off the rails and quit. Nothing untoward has happened to me, either. (I hope...lol) My computer is having pretty massive problems and I am not a 'puter expert so if it dies on me, it might be a bit before I can get a new one and be back.
Right now it is running very slow and my screen is so dim I can barely see it. I am hoping that I can get this thing repaired or replaced as quickly as possible. But things being as they are... Who knows.
I am going to try to do a hard shutdown in a bit, drop the battery and fire it back up and see if that brings my monitor back to a normal brightness for a while. I am hoping that I can get my photos off onto a hosting site. I think I have the bulk of them saved to disk (I burned two, just to be on the safe side) but I would like to host them as a back up, too. I don't think I dare try to burn more disks, the way this thing is behaving.
Geeze, this sucks.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Current Mani
Okay, 'nuff self absorbed whining. Thank you for listening. *hugs*
Now for the fun stuff. Today's nails. My red and gold mani chipped badly so I decided not to try to repair it and changed it. I decided to do a combination again. China Glaze Frostbite (which is fast becoming my favourite blue, right behind For Audrey :D) topped with Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Hidden Treasure. Hidden Treasure is a slightly opalescent jelly packed with flakies. No glitter. I applied one coat with a little extra here and there to cover a few bald spots.
Two coats China Glaze Frostbite. This polish always photographs lighter than it really is.
Oh my gosh! I just showed my nekkid nails on teh interwebz!!! lol
Now for the fun stuff. Today's nails. My red and gold mani chipped badly so I decided not to try to repair it and changed it. I decided to do a combination again. China Glaze Frostbite (which is fast becoming my favourite blue, right behind For Audrey :D) topped with Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Hidden Treasure. Hidden Treasure is a slightly opalescent jelly packed with flakies. No glitter. I applied one coat with a little extra here and there to cover a few bald spots.
Two coats China Glaze Frostbite. This polish always photographs lighter than it really is.
Frostbite topped with Hidden Treasure. The flakies didn't photograph really well. There are plenty of flakies in this polish. They are a kind of duo chrome copper-rose that shifts to green and blue, blurple, even a bit of pink, depending on the light and angle.
Another shot. All pictures were taken indoors in light coming in through my window without flash. It was an overcast day.
My very stained nails. This time when I wore Sinful Colors Go-Go Girl, it really stained my nails. The photograph washes out the stain somewhat. They are pretty bad. I was really dismayed when I took off my polish and my nails were so stained. And I used two coats of base coat, too. *sigh* Hopefully it will fade. I could probably whiten my nails a bit with a little toothpaste or peroxide, if I feel I need to. :)
Oh my gosh! I just showed my nekkid nails on teh interwebz!!! lol
It Has Passed
I feel better, now. Calmer and I am no longer so upset. I felt the upset, I let it roll and I dealt. And I didn't feed.
And I lived over it.
Who knew? :D
I am going to be fine, now. :D :D
If it weren't for all of my blog friends, I wouldn't have been. I am learning a lot from all of you.
And I lived over it.
Who knew? :D
I am going to be fine, now. :D :D
If it weren't for all of my blog friends, I wouldn't have been. I am learning a lot from all of you.
I Am Upset
And I really, really want to feed it away.
I want to cry and I don't want to. I want to just numb out and not feel it. But I am not going to. I refuse to give in to the urge to binge. I just need to feel this and get through it. It isn't going to do me harm to feel. In fact, it will be good for me. It is time to start allowing myself to experience negative emotions without the crutch of food based anesthesia.
I am hanging on.
*just breathe, Erika*
I want to cry and I don't want to. I want to just numb out and not feel it. But I am not going to. I refuse to give in to the urge to binge. I just need to feel this and get through it. It isn't going to do me harm to feel. In fact, it will be good for me. It is time to start allowing myself to experience negative emotions without the crutch of food based anesthesia.
I am hanging on.
*just breathe, Erika*
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Hey, everyone. :D
Yesterday I did very well. My calories were a tad low and I was feeling peckish, last night so I treated myself to a handful of dry roasted peanuts. Golly, I love those things. And, I used to grab the jar and just eat and eat them until they were gone and I was ready to hurl. From this jar I picked two or three nuts, every few days and last night I ate an actual handful. I am really tickled at how well I have handled the presence of that jar of nuts in my house.
Ya want to know something? It wasn't difficult. Before recently, I would have been in a frenzy over those stupid peanuts. I would have been obsessing over them... Thinking of them... Lusting after them. Desperate to get my hands on them and then inhaling them and feeling sick, stupid and guilty afterward. Now, they are just there. If I want a couple, I will pick them out and eat them. If not, I don't. And if I want a portion, I measure them out, record my calories and enjoy them. I don't think about them, obsess or lust after them.
Is that what it feels like to be "normal" about treats lurking in the pantry? If it is, I can live with it.
For sure. :D
Calories for yesterday came in at a very nice 1310.
Today is a lovely sunny day. It is supposed to get into the seventies and be breezy or windy. Tho it isn't windy, yet. Oh. Just looked outside, there is a breeze. It will probably pick up as the day goes on. We are under a wind advisory and are supposed to get gusts up to 50 MPH in the next couple of days. Woo hoo. I'll have to remember to bring in the hummer feeder. I don't need sugar water flying all over the place. lol
Speaking of hummer feeders, I am hoping to see hummers around the feeder, soon. We put it up, last evening so I imagine they need a chance to find it. As long as it doesn't become a bee magnet. I see bees, wasps or yellowjackets and that thing comes down. I can't have yellowjackets and wasps around, I don't do well when I am stung.
I am on track, today. Don't feel any anxiety or obsessive thoughts. I am not hungry or feeling as if I need to binge. All is well. :D
I need to do my nails.
Oh, if I suddenly disappear for a while, I haven't gone off the rails. It will be thanks to my computer. It is having some difficulties and needs to go see a 'puter doctor. Methinks it needs to be defragged and reformatted. And I need to have some superfluous programs removed and some additional memory installed. I wish I could do these things myself, but to be honest, I can just manage to do the things I can do. Getting into my 'puter's brain is not a thing I should even attempt. lol
Okay. I have to pee, go fold some laundry, unload my dishwasher and load the dirty dishes and then I can read my blogs and do my nails.
I'll catch all you loverly people, later. :D
Yesterday I did very well. My calories were a tad low and I was feeling peckish, last night so I treated myself to a handful of dry roasted peanuts. Golly, I love those things. And, I used to grab the jar and just eat and eat them until they were gone and I was ready to hurl. From this jar I picked two or three nuts, every few days and last night I ate an actual handful. I am really tickled at how well I have handled the presence of that jar of nuts in my house.
Ya want to know something? It wasn't difficult. Before recently, I would have been in a frenzy over those stupid peanuts. I would have been obsessing over them... Thinking of them... Lusting after them. Desperate to get my hands on them and then inhaling them and feeling sick, stupid and guilty afterward. Now, they are just there. If I want a couple, I will pick them out and eat them. If not, I don't. And if I want a portion, I measure them out, record my calories and enjoy them. I don't think about them, obsess or lust after them.
Is that what it feels like to be "normal" about treats lurking in the pantry? If it is, I can live with it.
For sure. :D
Calories for yesterday came in at a very nice 1310.
Today is a lovely sunny day. It is supposed to get into the seventies and be breezy or windy. Tho it isn't windy, yet. Oh. Just looked outside, there is a breeze. It will probably pick up as the day goes on. We are under a wind advisory and are supposed to get gusts up to 50 MPH in the next couple of days. Woo hoo. I'll have to remember to bring in the hummer feeder. I don't need sugar water flying all over the place. lol
Speaking of hummer feeders, I am hoping to see hummers around the feeder, soon. We put it up, last evening so I imagine they need a chance to find it. As long as it doesn't become a bee magnet. I see bees, wasps or yellowjackets and that thing comes down. I can't have yellowjackets and wasps around, I don't do well when I am stung.
I am on track, today. Don't feel any anxiety or obsessive thoughts. I am not hungry or feeling as if I need to binge. All is well. :D
I need to do my nails.
Oh, if I suddenly disappear for a while, I haven't gone off the rails. It will be thanks to my computer. It is having some difficulties and needs to go see a 'puter doctor. Methinks it needs to be defragged and reformatted. And I need to have some superfluous programs removed and some additional memory installed. I wish I could do these things myself, but to be honest, I can just manage to do the things I can do. Getting into my 'puter's brain is not a thing I should even attempt. lol
Okay. I have to pee, go fold some laundry, unload my dishwasher and load the dirty dishes and then I can read my blogs and do my nails.
I'll catch all you loverly people, later. :D
Monday, April 26, 2010
Roll Call
Hello gentle readers. :D
I have made an effort to follow those who follow me and get you on my blogroll. But I know that I have not been entirely successful. I am a dork face and have not been able to find everyone and stupid me stuff like that. lol So, if you are a follower and would like me to read you and follow you and I have missed you, please, leave a comment with a URL to your blog.
If you are new to reading here and would like me to read and follow you, please go ahead and leave me a link. :D
I try very hard to read all of the blogs on my blogroll. It is easier, now that I am, for the most part all caught up with everyone. :D I am a sporadic commenter. I read and feel for people and really, really want to say something, to offer support or to help, I click the comment button and then stare at my cursor blinking in the reply box, mocking me as my mind goes blank. Then I hit the back button and run like the big old sissy I am. lol But I am here and I am reading and offering silent support, care and hugs. :D
Anyhoddle, yeah, please, let me know so I can add you if I haven't. :D :D
I have made an effort to follow those who follow me and get you on my blogroll. But I know that I have not been entirely successful. I am a dork face and have not been able to find everyone and stupid me stuff like that. lol So, if you are a follower and would like me to read you and follow you and I have missed you, please, leave a comment with a URL to your blog.
If you are new to reading here and would like me to read and follow you, please go ahead and leave me a link. :D
I try very hard to read all of the blogs on my blogroll. It is easier, now that I am, for the most part all caught up with everyone. :D I am a sporadic commenter. I read and feel for people and really, really want to say something, to offer support or to help, I click the comment button and then stare at my cursor blinking in the reply box, mocking me as my mind goes blank. Then I hit the back button and run like the big old sissy I am. lol But I am here and I am reading and offering silent support, care and hugs. :D
Anyhoddle, yeah, please, let me know so I can add you if I haven't. :D :D
Weigh In
Good Monday morning. :D
So... I finally got out my scale and got on it. 375.8. That is a loss of 12.8 pounds for the month. Not too shabby.
I will be perfectly honest and say I thought that it would be a bit more that that. I feel smaller than that number but I am not quibbling. I am losing and that is what matters. And hey, an average of a tad over three pounds a week isn't anything to sneeze at.
Methinks I could up my result with some exercise. Perhaps it is time to really get moving. I am such a sloth. lol
I hope that you are having a terrific day. :D
So... I finally got out my scale and got on it. 375.8. That is a loss of 12.8 pounds for the month. Not too shabby.
I will be perfectly honest and say I thought that it would be a bit more that that. I feel smaller than that number but I am not quibbling. I am losing and that is what matters. And hey, an average of a tad over three pounds a week isn't anything to sneeze at.
Methinks I could up my result with some exercise. Perhaps it is time to really get moving. I am such a sloth. lol
I hope that you are having a terrific day. :D
Sunday, April 25, 2010
A Good Day
Hello everyone. :D I hope that you all had a great Sunday.
My day was good. :) Calorie wise I am sitting at exactly 1100. Otherwise it was equally nice. Husband and I went out to do some running around, today. I wanted to get flower plants at Lowe's but when we got there, the plant goddess advised us to wait until next week to plant tender annuals. There is a storm coming in this week and it is supposed to pack a bit of a wallop and bring the temps down quite a bit. There is a possibility that it could... *gag* snow *gag*... So, we just grazed through the garden centre and talked about the plants we want then we went in and I picked up a couple of house plants.
I haven't had house plants since we moved here and I miss them, terribly. I had to leave my beautiful plants behind when we left the dump in Highland Pines. They were infested with little gnats and other bugs (that house was such a dump. One we were privileged to pay $1000 a month for.) and I didn't want to move them here, with us so they got left behind.
So, now I have a couple of plants and plan to add a few more. I am dying for some coleus, in particular. Maybe a nice fern...
I also grabbed a little plastic hummingbird feeder and some hummingbird nectar mix. I want to see if the hummers will come around. I think that they are so gorgeous, they look like flying jewels. Hopefully the feeder won't just attract a bunch of bees. lol
While we were in Lowe's I salivated over the grills. I want a new grill so much. Ever since my old one went tits up on me I have been grill-less and I miss it, terribly. I am the grill mistress in this house. :D And I will grill or attempt to grill just about anything. :D
We did a little more shopping around, I picked up some polish. (Shocking, but true. lol) And we hit the grocery store. I got a little exercise bopping around stores and humping my arse up and down our stairs many times, today. It was good for me. I needed it. And I am getting up and down easier, now. And breathing a lot better, when I get to the top. So... Progress. :D
I bought hair colour. Loreal Dream Blonde. I can't wait to do my strand test. I will probably do it, tomorrow. I am hoping that I get the result I want and expect. If I don't I can get a refund from Loreal so... Win-win.
We had a surprise visit from my SIL and BIL. It was very last minute, shortly after we got home and I had already changed my clothes and got comfy. I am not someone who does well with impulse visitors. I like advance warning, a chance to be sure that my house is all buffed and polished and I am pulled together. My house looked fine, it was clean and neat, but I didn't have time to do a company job on my bathroom or run my vacuum, again. Oh, well. It was probably for the best. They brought their little grandson (our grand nephew) with them and he had a great time, freaking out my dog, digging through my fridge for lemonade, getting fingerprints all over all of my highly polished furniture. lol I have forgotten what it is like to have a four/five year old little boy tear assing around the house. lol He is a cutie, tho. Full of energy, pinballing around. But sweet, with it. :D It was nice to see everyone and it was lovely when that little tornado left with his g'rents. lol I couldn't do having another little kid in my house. They are nice for short periods of time. Then they can go home. lol
I forgot to pick up facial cleanser, dammit! I have enough for a few more days. And I can stretch with jojoba oil. But I definitely need another tube.
Okay, this is getting stupid and boring. lol
My day was good. :) Calorie wise I am sitting at exactly 1100. Otherwise it was equally nice. Husband and I went out to do some running around, today. I wanted to get flower plants at Lowe's but when we got there, the plant goddess advised us to wait until next week to plant tender annuals. There is a storm coming in this week and it is supposed to pack a bit of a wallop and bring the temps down quite a bit. There is a possibility that it could... *gag* snow *gag*... So, we just grazed through the garden centre and talked about the plants we want then we went in and I picked up a couple of house plants.
I haven't had house plants since we moved here and I miss them, terribly. I had to leave my beautiful plants behind when we left the dump in Highland Pines. They were infested with little gnats and other bugs (that house was such a dump. One we were privileged to pay $1000 a month for.) and I didn't want to move them here, with us so they got left behind.
So, now I have a couple of plants and plan to add a few more. I am dying for some coleus, in particular. Maybe a nice fern...
I also grabbed a little plastic hummingbird feeder and some hummingbird nectar mix. I want to see if the hummers will come around. I think that they are so gorgeous, they look like flying jewels. Hopefully the feeder won't just attract a bunch of bees. lol
While we were in Lowe's I salivated over the grills. I want a new grill so much. Ever since my old one went tits up on me I have been grill-less and I miss it, terribly. I am the grill mistress in this house. :D And I will grill or attempt to grill just about anything. :D
We did a little more shopping around, I picked up some polish. (Shocking, but true. lol) And we hit the grocery store. I got a little exercise bopping around stores and humping my arse up and down our stairs many times, today. It was good for me. I needed it. And I am getting up and down easier, now. And breathing a lot better, when I get to the top. So... Progress. :D
I bought hair colour. Loreal Dream Blonde. I can't wait to do my strand test. I will probably do it, tomorrow. I am hoping that I get the result I want and expect. If I don't I can get a refund from Loreal so... Win-win.
We had a surprise visit from my SIL and BIL. It was very last minute, shortly after we got home and I had already changed my clothes and got comfy. I am not someone who does well with impulse visitors. I like advance warning, a chance to be sure that my house is all buffed and polished and I am pulled together. My house looked fine, it was clean and neat, but I didn't have time to do a company job on my bathroom or run my vacuum, again. Oh, well. It was probably for the best. They brought their little grandson (our grand nephew) with them and he had a great time, freaking out my dog, digging through my fridge for lemonade, getting fingerprints all over all of my highly polished furniture. lol I have forgotten what it is like to have a four/five year old little boy tear assing around the house. lol He is a cutie, tho. Full of energy, pinballing around. But sweet, with it. :D It was nice to see everyone and it was lovely when that little tornado left with his g'rents. lol I couldn't do having another little kid in my house. They are nice for short periods of time. Then they can go home. lol
I forgot to pick up facial cleanser, dammit! I have enough for a few more days. And I can stretch with jojoba oil. But I definitely need another tube.
Okay, this is getting stupid and boring. lol
Happy Sunday Morning
Head, better.
Mood, good.
Busy, must run.
Loves.
Have a great day, everyone. :D
Mood, good.
Busy, must run.
Loves.
Have a great day, everyone. :D
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Urgh!
Head. Bad.
Day. Good.
Calories 1400.
That is all.
I am going to go bang my head against a wall, now.
Goodnight.
Day. Good.
Calories 1400.
That is all.
I am going to go bang my head against a wall, now.
Goodnight.
Current Mani: Red and Gold Scintillation
Hi everyone. :D
I have a new mani to show, today. My black and flakie mani was chipping so I decided to change it out. I chose a combination of Sinful Colors Go-Go Girl and China Glaze Golden Enchantment. Woo hoo! Talk about sparkle plenty. The Sinful is a pretty red that I have worn and shown, before. Golden Enchantment is a clear jelly packed with micro glitter that in the shade looks like gold dust sprinkled over my nails. Then the sun hits it and it just goes crazy. Dancing, scintillating light and colour. Firing gold, red, yellow, pink, orange. Golly, I love this polish. :D
Pictures:
I have a new mani to show, today. My black and flakie mani was chipping so I decided to change it out. I chose a combination of Sinful Colors Go-Go Girl and China Glaze Golden Enchantment. Woo hoo! Talk about sparkle plenty. The Sinful is a pretty red that I have worn and shown, before. Golden Enchantment is a clear jelly packed with micro glitter that in the shade looks like gold dust sprinkled over my nails. Then the sun hits it and it just goes crazy. Dancing, scintillating light and colour. Firing gold, red, yellow, pink, orange. Golly, I love this polish. :D
Pictures:
Sinful Colors Go-Go Girl. Three coats. If I were wearing this alone, I would have to have applied a fourth coat.
Topped with two coats of China Glaze Golden Enchantment. This is sooo pretty. :D Now I have to get Fairy Dust. Golden Enchantment's silver sister.
More Sparkly goodness. :D
Can you see all of the colours? As usual, this stuff is really hard to photograph in a manner that does it justice.
Obligatory annoying blurry pic to show the sparkle a little better.
I like this and I will definitely do it, again. I really want to try Golden Enchantment on other colours. Like blue. And pink. An green and... And... :D
Friday, April 23, 2010
Just a Fast Update Before I Hit the Sack
I had a good day, today total calories were: 1525. Not too shabby. :D
I had a couple of dicey moments where I was tempted to go off on a feeding frenzy or a binge. Rather than starting to eat my way through the kitchen, I stopped, asked myself what was going on. What was I feeling and why was I feeling the need to damp it down by feeding.
A few things were whirling through my brain. Mostly anxiety about this process. I was awfullizing, telling myself I had so far to go. That I can't do this. That I am not worth it. And I began to feel as if I didn't matter and I might as well numb out.
It's all lies. Because I can do this. I am doing this. I have the tools. And I am using them. And I am worth it. And I do matter. So I really don't have anything to get anxious about.
And, since I don't have anything to get anxious about, I don't have to be upset and I don't need to numb out.
So, I came back in the living room and drank some cold water and went online and looked at hair colour. :D
Cubs won today. :D
I had a couple of dicey moments where I was tempted to go off on a feeding frenzy or a binge. Rather than starting to eat my way through the kitchen, I stopped, asked myself what was going on. What was I feeling and why was I feeling the need to damp it down by feeding.
A few things were whirling through my brain. Mostly anxiety about this process. I was awfullizing, telling myself I had so far to go. That I can't do this. That I am not worth it. And I began to feel as if I didn't matter and I might as well numb out.
It's all lies. Because I can do this. I am doing this. I have the tools. And I am using them. And I am worth it. And I do matter. So I really don't have anything to get anxious about.
And, since I don't have anything to get anxious about, I don't have to be upset and I don't need to numb out.
So, I came back in the living room and drank some cold water and went online and looked at hair colour. :D
Cubs won today. :D
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Post Number Three for Today
I am such an attention whore. lol
So, I was doing some blog hopping and thinking about the things I was reading and I think that I am about ready to cast off the reasons why I felt I needed to remain fat. My fat made a right handy shield against the world and the eyes of others. Especially others of the opposite sex.
I had my reasons. And I realise now that I have been punishing myself in terrible ways for things that were not my fault!!!!!! I didn't ask for them to happen and I didn't do anything to deserve it. In fact, it probably didn't have anything really to do with me. It was men feeding their own sick ideas of what they thought they needed. I was merely an object. Yes, it fouled my perception of myself up for a long time but dammit! I am over it. I am not willing to allow it to hold me prisoner any longer. And I am not willing to allow this shield that I have built up against the world hold me in the past any longer. I am done.
I have no doubt that this is going to be an ongoing process. You don't get to the point I am overnight and expect to just cast it away without it putting up a fight. But I am going to win. I want to win. And I want my life back.
I am going to take it back.
Want to know what really fired this? A dream I had this morning. I was receiving attention from a man. Nice attention. He called me irresistible and unforgettable. And I basked in the attention and the words. I knew, in my dream that I deserved to hear them. And maybe one day, I will, when awake.
It could happen. :D
I want to be open to that possibility. And I can't be until I shake my old shit and dump my old tapes.
Anybody have a Dumpster? lol
I am going to be a little on the high side of acceptable calorie wise, today. It is Subway Day and I have been snacking a little. Nothing major... Some pretzels a few peanuts and some watermelon. And I still need to have dinner in a bit. But I knew that this would be a higher cal day so no worries. My Subway Days haven't done any harm, yet. I realise that as my weight drops, I will have to adjust parameters. But I am still good, at present. :D
The snow is slowing down. Hopefully it won't snow much more. It is supposed to clear up tomorrow and be back in the seventies by Sunday. then back down in the sixties Wednesday. *sigh* All of this stupid back and forth with the temps.
I and glad that I haven't yet planted flowers. I would be worried sick about them, right now.
Did I mention it is in the thirties, right now?
Edited Later: The snow didn't stop. It really started coming down and there are a couple of inches out there. Yipes!
So, I was doing some blog hopping and thinking about the things I was reading and I think that I am about ready to cast off the reasons why I felt I needed to remain fat. My fat made a right handy shield against the world and the eyes of others. Especially others of the opposite sex.
I had my reasons. And I realise now that I have been punishing myself in terrible ways for things that were not my fault!!!!!! I didn't ask for them to happen and I didn't do anything to deserve it. In fact, it probably didn't have anything really to do with me. It was men feeding their own sick ideas of what they thought they needed. I was merely an object. Yes, it fouled my perception of myself up for a long time but dammit! I am over it. I am not willing to allow it to hold me prisoner any longer. And I am not willing to allow this shield that I have built up against the world hold me in the past any longer. I am done.
I have no doubt that this is going to be an ongoing process. You don't get to the point I am overnight and expect to just cast it away without it putting up a fight. But I am going to win. I want to win. And I want my life back.
I am going to take it back.
Want to know what really fired this? A dream I had this morning. I was receiving attention from a man. Nice attention. He called me irresistible and unforgettable. And I basked in the attention and the words. I knew, in my dream that I deserved to hear them. And maybe one day, I will, when awake.
It could happen. :D
I want to be open to that possibility. And I can't be until I shake my old shit and dump my old tapes.
Anybody have a Dumpster? lol
I am going to be a little on the high side of acceptable calorie wise, today. It is Subway Day and I have been snacking a little. Nothing major... Some pretzels a few peanuts and some watermelon. And I still need to have dinner in a bit. But I knew that this would be a higher cal day so no worries. My Subway Days haven't done any harm, yet. I realise that as my weight drops, I will have to adjust parameters. But I am still good, at present. :D
The snow is slowing down. Hopefully it won't snow much more. It is supposed to clear up tomorrow and be back in the seventies by Sunday. then back down in the sixties Wednesday. *sigh* All of this stupid back and forth with the temps.
I and glad that I haven't yet planted flowers. I would be worried sick about them, right now.
Did I mention it is in the thirties, right now?
Edited Later: The snow didn't stop. It really started coming down and there are a couple of inches out there. Yipes!
How I Care for My Nails
I have received a few requests for how to's about my nail care. I am flattered. Incredibly. :D And I am happy to share. If any tips help, that is great. :D :D These aren't my own ideas, I have tried a lot of things I have read and heard over the years until I finally landed on a routine that works well for me. As with any beauty related topic, YMMV. ;)
First of all, I have delicate, somewhat thin nails that can break pretty easily. And, they will peel like a banana, given half a chance. I have always longed for flexible, strong nails that I could grow long and wear polish or rock them natural. Isn't going to happen, so I make the best of what I do have. :D
I think that a good file is really important. I use a glass file; it is, in my opinion superior to any other kind of file. Emery boards, metal and diamond dusted files are way too rough on my nails, tear and make the edges rough and pone to snagging, tearing, breaking and peeling. A glass file takes the nail down smoothly and swiftly but doesn't wreak havoc at the same time. I had an OPI crystal file that I loved more then my first born (well, not really... ;) lol) and one day it flew from it's protective tube and landed down in the vent in my fireplace, never to be found. I am still mourning the loss of that file. I now use a Swissco glass file that I bought at Sally. It is a nice file and will do until I can get another OPI file. :D
I file my nails into a square shape. I feel that it lends strength to my nail structure and I like the look. A more rounded shape would probably be better for my hands, I have "capable" hands lol and the oval would probably be more flattering. But I just don't like that shape for me. I use my file and gently round off the corners of my squared off nails. That way I don't have sharp corners scratching me and others, catching on fabrics and tearing and breaking.
I maintain my nail length just peeking past the ends of my fingers. I do a lot of housework and am fooling around on my computer all the time and this is a good length for me. It looks as if I have some length but I don't have to worry about them too much. Also, if I break one and have to file them all down to match (I have to have all my nails about the same length... it's a "thing" with me lol) it isn't so devastating to lose that little bit of length.
I keep my nails polished at all times. If I have bare nails and just look at them funny, they will chip, break and peel like crazy. So, my nails are only bare for the amount of time it takes to go from removal of the old polish to getting my fresh coats of base coat on them. A few minutes, tops. lol I have found that polishing my free edges with every layer of base, colour and top coat I put all over my nails helps to further protect my tips, keeps water out and helps reduce tip wear and chipping. My polish lasts longer than if I just smoothed my polish on the nail plates, alone.
One thing I learned from the wonderful gal who used to do my nails years ago is that oil or grease is the natural enemy of polish. After I remove my old polish and file my nails, if need be and take care of my cuticles (give them a quick push back, if needed), I wash my hands well in dish washing liquid then dry on a lint free cloth and then spray them with rubbing alcohol and blot them dry, then without touching them or letting them contact any other surface, I apply my base coat. That way I am painting nails that are as clean as possible to help my mani last as long as possible. I have tried a ton of different base coats and I finally discovered China Glaze Strong Adhesion Base Coat. It is the base coat that works best for me. Everyone seems to have a base that works best for them, just try different brands until you find your HG. I love Seche Vite Fast Dry Top Coat. It really does dry a mani fast and gives a lovely, glossy shine that I love.
My cuticles aren't too difficult to care for. I don't use cuticle remover, tho it probably couldn't hurt, once in a while. Maybe some time I will try it. Right now, usually right after I shower, when my cuticles are soft and pliable, I just gently push them back. Doing that regularly seems to keep them in place pretty nicely and prevent them from growing up over my nail plate and sticking and being a pain. After I do my polish, once it is dry enough I oil my cuticles with plain jojoba oil then apply lots of lotion to counteract the dryness from remover and the pure acetone I use for post polish clean up.
And... I think that is about it. :) It isn't really a lot. I tend to write wordy and I honestly don't spend huge bags of time on my nails. Now that I have them in the shape I like, I don't have to file too often and just do a little bit to finesse the shape if needed and shorten them a little or smooth any rough or snaggy spots or chips, if need be. It is polishing and clean up that takes the most time in my nail care routine. But I don't mind taking that time. It is good to just have that "me time" and pamper myself a little. And, even if I am running around the house in baggy cleaning the house clothes with no makeup on and my hair clipped up willy-nilly I still have pretty, shiny nails. :D
First of all, I have delicate, somewhat thin nails that can break pretty easily. And, they will peel like a banana, given half a chance. I have always longed for flexible, strong nails that I could grow long and wear polish or rock them natural. Isn't going to happen, so I make the best of what I do have. :D
I think that a good file is really important. I use a glass file; it is, in my opinion superior to any other kind of file. Emery boards, metal and diamond dusted files are way too rough on my nails, tear and make the edges rough and pone to snagging, tearing, breaking and peeling. A glass file takes the nail down smoothly and swiftly but doesn't wreak havoc at the same time. I had an OPI crystal file that I loved more then my first born (well, not really... ;) lol) and one day it flew from it's protective tube and landed down in the vent in my fireplace, never to be found. I am still mourning the loss of that file. I now use a Swissco glass file that I bought at Sally. It is a nice file and will do until I can get another OPI file. :D
I file my nails into a square shape. I feel that it lends strength to my nail structure and I like the look. A more rounded shape would probably be better for my hands, I have "capable" hands lol and the oval would probably be more flattering. But I just don't like that shape for me. I use my file and gently round off the corners of my squared off nails. That way I don't have sharp corners scratching me and others, catching on fabrics and tearing and breaking.
I maintain my nail length just peeking past the ends of my fingers. I do a lot of housework and am fooling around on my computer all the time and this is a good length for me. It looks as if I have some length but I don't have to worry about them too much. Also, if I break one and have to file them all down to match (I have to have all my nails about the same length... it's a "thing" with me lol) it isn't so devastating to lose that little bit of length.
I keep my nails polished at all times. If I have bare nails and just look at them funny, they will chip, break and peel like crazy. So, my nails are only bare for the amount of time it takes to go from removal of the old polish to getting my fresh coats of base coat on them. A few minutes, tops. lol I have found that polishing my free edges with every layer of base, colour and top coat I put all over my nails helps to further protect my tips, keeps water out and helps reduce tip wear and chipping. My polish lasts longer than if I just smoothed my polish on the nail plates, alone.
One thing I learned from the wonderful gal who used to do my nails years ago is that oil or grease is the natural enemy of polish. After I remove my old polish and file my nails, if need be and take care of my cuticles (give them a quick push back, if needed), I wash my hands well in dish washing liquid then dry on a lint free cloth and then spray them with rubbing alcohol and blot them dry, then without touching them or letting them contact any other surface, I apply my base coat. That way I am painting nails that are as clean as possible to help my mani last as long as possible. I have tried a ton of different base coats and I finally discovered China Glaze Strong Adhesion Base Coat. It is the base coat that works best for me. Everyone seems to have a base that works best for them, just try different brands until you find your HG. I love Seche Vite Fast Dry Top Coat. It really does dry a mani fast and gives a lovely, glossy shine that I love.
My cuticles aren't too difficult to care for. I don't use cuticle remover, tho it probably couldn't hurt, once in a while. Maybe some time I will try it. Right now, usually right after I shower, when my cuticles are soft and pliable, I just gently push them back. Doing that regularly seems to keep them in place pretty nicely and prevent them from growing up over my nail plate and sticking and being a pain. After I do my polish, once it is dry enough I oil my cuticles with plain jojoba oil then apply lots of lotion to counteract the dryness from remover and the pure acetone I use for post polish clean up.
And... I think that is about it. :) It isn't really a lot. I tend to write wordy and I honestly don't spend huge bags of time on my nails. Now that I have them in the shape I like, I don't have to file too often and just do a little bit to finesse the shape if needed and shorten them a little or smooth any rough or snaggy spots or chips, if need be. It is polishing and clean up that takes the most time in my nail care routine. But I don't mind taking that time. It is good to just have that "me time" and pamper myself a little. And, even if I am running around the house in baggy cleaning the house clothes with no makeup on and my hair clipped up willy-nilly I still have pretty, shiny nails. :D
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Mani of the Moment: Black Opals
Today was time to do a fresh manicure. The decals on my nails were a pain, they were wearing off and my nails were looking bedraggled so off with the old and on with the new. I decided to do a two layer mani, using China Glaze Liquid Leather and Sinful Colors Green Ocean.
I bought Green Ocean a few weeks ago at Walgreen's. I saw it swatched in a blog and thought that it would make a nice substitute for Nfu-Oh flakies that are just not in my budget, right now. The Sinful has a mix of glitter and flakes in a slightly green clear base. It is really pretty in the bottle and on the nails, too. I love the colour shifts, from green to blurple to blue, depending on the light and the angle at which it is viewed.
I started with two coats of China Glaze Strong Adhesion Base. I did two coats, as I wasn't sure if the black polish will stain or not. Then I did three coats of Liquid Leather. It is thin, but it builds to a deep, true black. I love how easy this polish was to control. I did a surprisingly neat polish job and clean up was fast and easy. :D
I bought Green Ocean a few weeks ago at Walgreen's. I saw it swatched in a blog and thought that it would make a nice substitute for Nfu-Oh flakies that are just not in my budget, right now. The Sinful has a mix of glitter and flakes in a slightly green clear base. It is really pretty in the bottle and on the nails, too. I love the colour shifts, from green to blurple to blue, depending on the light and the angle at which it is viewed.
I started with two coats of China Glaze Strong Adhesion Base. I did two coats, as I wasn't sure if the black polish will stain or not. Then I did three coats of Liquid Leather. It is thin, but it builds to a deep, true black. I love how easy this polish was to control. I did a surprisingly neat polish job and clean up was fast and easy. :D
China Glaze Liquid Leather. In light coming in through my window, no flash. Look how shiny! :D I like this polish and will be wearing it on it's own, too.
With three coats of Sinful Colors Green Ocean. I think I went a little overboard with the stuff but I was entranced by it and had to put on more, more, more. :D
My kitteh, Marley helped me model my manicure. Or, should I say, he tolerated me using his pretty orange coat as a backdrop for my nails. lol You can click the kitteh for a larger pic. :) (Please forgive the dried out skin... I was waiting for my polish to dry enough to moisturise my hands.)
I like this look a lot. It is enchanting and a little mesmerizing. I have a hard time keeping my peepers off my nails. I think that they look like black opals. :D
Effortless, Today
I find it somewhat hilarious that some days I am white knuckling it through cravings and thoughts of losing all semblance of self control then others, I sail through the day, thinking about food... Oh... Not much. Just when I got really hungry and decided to have a meal or light snack. I didn't even think about dinner until after seven thirty and then I wasn't really all that hungry. But I knew I needed to eat so I tossed a Lean Cuisine into my micro and made a salad.
I hope that one day, every day will be as effortless. Or nearly so. I sincerely don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting myself. I don't want it to be so damned difficult, I just want it to be normal. Like today. :D
I think that my gut is shrinking. :D
It was a lovely weather day. Tailor made for me. Darkly cloudy, windy and rain. Of course, as is typical in this part of the country, the frakkin' sun did break though this afternoon. *sigh* But I really enjoyed the rest of the day.
I wonder why cloudy, rainy weather is called "bad" or "nasty" or "messy" or "terrible". To me, it is sublime. Relaxing, nurturing, calming and invigorating. Clouds, dark, low skies and rain falling all around me makes me happy.
The temps are in the upper thirties, tonight. As cold as it has been for a while. It almost feels as if Winter is taking it's encore. As long as it doesn't snow.
I hope that all travellers on the road to a healthier life are having an effortless and joyful trip.
I hope that one day, every day will be as effortless. Or nearly so. I sincerely don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting myself. I don't want it to be so damned difficult, I just want it to be normal. Like today. :D
I think that my gut is shrinking. :D
It was a lovely weather day. Tailor made for me. Darkly cloudy, windy and rain. Of course, as is typical in this part of the country, the frakkin' sun did break though this afternoon. *sigh* But I really enjoyed the rest of the day.
I wonder why cloudy, rainy weather is called "bad" or "nasty" or "messy" or "terrible". To me, it is sublime. Relaxing, nurturing, calming and invigorating. Clouds, dark, low skies and rain falling all around me makes me happy.
The temps are in the upper thirties, tonight. As cold as it has been for a while. It almost feels as if Winter is taking it's encore. As long as it doesn't snow.
I hope that all travellers on the road to a healthier life are having an effortless and joyful trip.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Whew! Made It!
I got through the day. Intact and on track. True, I did blow some of my calories on fat free Pringles and salsa. Yes, I counted chips and recorded calories. 70 calories per serving of about 15 crisps. They were okay. Worth the cost? I don't think so much. I mean, fat free Pringles are okay, have a nice crunch and are salty. But they are done in Olestra and they leave a heavily greasy mouth feel and coating after themselves. I don't think that I really want to buy them again. I think I would have been better off and happier with veggies and salsa.
Not the best choice on the planet but certainly not a deal breaker and did me no harm.
Other than the not so great chips, I ate very well, today. I actually came in at a lower calorie count than I expected to. So, that is good. :D And I am happy that I didn't listen to ugly, destructive thoughts and binge or have a feeding frenzy. I feel good, and good about myself. I don't feel sick, angry at myself and remorseful for doing something that deep down, I really didn't want to do.
Calories today were: 1301. I can handle that. :D
It is cooler, tonight and windy. Waiting for rain, I am. I would love to see it rain. :D
Okay... Nattering, now. Time to wrap this up before I put you all to sleep. lol
Goodnight, gentle readers.
Not the best choice on the planet but certainly not a deal breaker and did me no harm.
Other than the not so great chips, I ate very well, today. I actually came in at a lower calorie count than I expected to. So, that is good. :D And I am happy that I didn't listen to ugly, destructive thoughts and binge or have a feeding frenzy. I feel good, and good about myself. I don't feel sick, angry at myself and remorseful for doing something that deep down, I really didn't want to do.
Calories today were: 1301. I can handle that. :D
It is cooler, tonight and windy. Waiting for rain, I am. I would love to see it rain. :D
Okay... Nattering, now. Time to wrap this up before I put you all to sleep. lol
Goodnight, gentle readers.
Day Fifteen and All Is...
*Just so's you know... F-Bomb ahead.*
I am binge and feeding frenzy free but I am hanging on by my frakkin fingernails, at the moment.
Arrrrrgh!
It is as if my inner self has decided that she has done so well for this long and now it is time to let her hair down. She is whispering in my ear, you know.
Bad things.
Things like, "You have been so good for so long. You deserve a treat."
"You have held the line. Take a little step off, no one will know."
"You can have anything you want... Just this once. The calories won't matter in your overall progress."
"You are a fat ass who is so big that one little splurge won't show. Hell, an entire Baskin Robbins wouldn't show."
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
Seriously.
Just shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Enough, already. I don't need this shit.
In answer to your idiot statements:
I do deserve a treat. And on payday I intend to hit a store or two and buy myself a few nice little things. Things that last longer than the few seconds it would take to chew and swallow something that isn't all that good for me.
You are right. No one would know. No, I take that back. I would know! And I deserve honesty. I deserve truth. (I can't believe I actually just said that. But you know what? I actually believe it.)
True, the calories wouldn't matter in my overall progress. However, they will matter short term. They would make me feel sick and depressed and bad about myself. They would drag me down and injure my tiny little sprouting bud of self confidence. And I don't want to do those things to myself.
Geeze. Nice way to talk to yourself, huh? With an attitude like that I am surprised you get asked to any clam bakes. Insults don't work. At least, they don't work as well as they used to. So, find another angle. Try kindness and affirmations, rather than denigration and insults.
Do I need to be medicated? lol
It is a nice day, today. A little cloudy and windy. Cooler. The Weather Channel said something about rain, later in the week. Possibly rain and gasp! I hardly dare utter the word...
Snow.
Nooooooooo!!!!
All I can say, it had better not snow. Rain, fine. I like rain. Snow? Not so blasted much.
Oh say, my face is beginning to return to normal. The petechiae (I know that I butchered the spelling but my spell check isn't cooperating) are fading and I am getting my pale back. Thank heaven. I am no prize in the looks department and I certainly don't need to walk around looking as if I ran face first into a hot griddle. :P
Pollen. Bleargh. The wind isn't helping. Some rain would be nice to wash the air clean for a while.
All righty then. 'Nuff nattering, for now.
I hope that you are all having a great day. :D
I am binge and feeding frenzy free but I am hanging on by my frakkin fingernails, at the moment.
Arrrrrgh!
It is as if my inner self has decided that she has done so well for this long and now it is time to let her hair down. She is whispering in my ear, you know.
Bad things.
Things like, "You have been so good for so long. You deserve a treat."
"You have held the line. Take a little step off, no one will know."
"You can have anything you want... Just this once. The calories won't matter in your overall progress."
"You are a fat ass who is so big that one little splurge won't show. Hell, an entire Baskin Robbins wouldn't show."
Shut the fuck up, bitch.
Seriously.
Just shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Enough, already. I don't need this shit.
In answer to your idiot statements:
I do deserve a treat. And on payday I intend to hit a store or two and buy myself a few nice little things. Things that last longer than the few seconds it would take to chew and swallow something that isn't all that good for me.
You are right. No one would know. No, I take that back. I would know! And I deserve honesty. I deserve truth. (I can't believe I actually just said that. But you know what? I actually believe it.)
True, the calories wouldn't matter in my overall progress. However, they will matter short term. They would make me feel sick and depressed and bad about myself. They would drag me down and injure my tiny little sprouting bud of self confidence. And I don't want to do those things to myself.
Geeze. Nice way to talk to yourself, huh? With an attitude like that I am surprised you get asked to any clam bakes. Insults don't work. At least, they don't work as well as they used to. So, find another angle. Try kindness and affirmations, rather than denigration and insults.
Do I need to be medicated? lol
It is a nice day, today. A little cloudy and windy. Cooler. The Weather Channel said something about rain, later in the week. Possibly rain and gasp! I hardly dare utter the word...
Snow.
Nooooooooo!!!!
All I can say, it had better not snow. Rain, fine. I like rain. Snow? Not so blasted much.
Oh say, my face is beginning to return to normal. The petechiae (I know that I butchered the spelling but my spell check isn't cooperating) are fading and I am getting my pale back. Thank heaven. I am no prize in the looks department and I certainly don't need to walk around looking as if I ran face first into a hot griddle. :P
Pollen. Bleargh. The wind isn't helping. Some rain would be nice to wash the air clean for a while.
All righty then. 'Nuff nattering, for now.
I hope that you are all having a great day. :D
Monday, April 19, 2010
Mani Fail, Moocharrific Pets and Strawberries Forever
Husband went to pick up Son from work yesterday and while there picked up a lovely large container of strawberries. Only three dollars and a ton of lovely, flavourful berries. That are already almost gone! lol We all like strawberries in this house. Yes, I am behaving... Watching my portions and counting the calories. But I am really enjoying them. :D
We got them at Fry's. If you have a Fry's or other Kroger family grocery store nearby, they probably have the same deal going. :D
We got them at Fry's. If you have a Fry's or other Kroger family grocery store nearby, they probably have the same deal going. :D
Om nom nom nom. :D
My pets, both of them are consummate moochers. Marley, being a wild kitty when he first became a member of the family had no concept of what "mooch" meant.
He learned fast.
He took his big Sister's example and learned the techniques for scoring maximum goodies for minimal effort. Both of the animals will come running and park themselves in their positions when they hear any activity in the kitchen. If the can opener runs, no matter where he is in the house, Marley comes running, meowing and weaving around your ankles, convinced that there is tuna in the offing. (Sometimes there is.)
When you sit down to eat, you can look up and see a little orange head with green eyes and a large black and grey head with brown eyes in your direct eye line, looking hungry, desperate and just begging you to "Drop it! Drop it! Drop it!"
Husband came home from work during his lunch break and made himself a sandwich. I had to laugh at the site of the animals, watching him so intently, just hoping against hope to bag a goodie.
Okay... Bugs in the align feature again. Oh well.
To continue, I decided to have a little fun with the old nails, today. My For Audrey mani was getting a little careworn so I decided to do a French of sorts. I figured that since I was ready for a polish change, it was time to have a little fun.
I grabbed my French tip guide tapes and applied them on all of my nails. These tapes are great. Easy to use. But they have insane sticky and unless the polish or base is completely dry and cured, they will pull polish off your nails. As I found out one night when I tried to do a traditional French. lol
With tapes applied. :D You can see the tip wear on my thumb nail. I have to say, I am impressed with this polish. It is one of the longest lasting colours in my collection, so far. :D
After I applied the tapes, I painted on two coats of China Glaze Liquid Leather. Then I removed the tapes and applied a coat of Seche. Ruh-Roh! I made some smudges of black down in the blue fields. Not sure how I managed that trick, but I did.
Left hand. (Before clean up, of course.)
Right hand. Smudgety-smudge. I also smudged black into the blue on my right thumb. Maybe I applied Seche too soon and that cause some of it. The smudge on my ring finger was an effort to clean up a little over-paint spot. Ha! That really worked well. Not! lol
What to do about the smudges???
I know!
Decals!
Everything is better with nail art! :D
After decals and a coat of Out The Door. These decals are crap. I am convinced of it. I applied top coat and the decals on both ring fingers lifted and bubbled up and I had to smoosh them down. So they ended up wrinkled and shrunk down from their original position. Waaahhh! This shot was taken with flash.
And in natural light coming in through my window. No flash. You can really see where it is mucked up on my ring finger nail. Blech! Stupid decals, anyway. I think that they are pretty but I hate the way that they react to top coat.
A little while ago, I was peeling potatoes and kind of sliced the top coat on my left bird finger with my peeler. After I got the potatoes chopped and into a saucepan (Husband and Son are clamoring for mashed potatoes to go with their chicken for dinner, tonight) I decided that a nice coat of Seche would fix up that nail very nicely. Applied a coat and; crappity doo dah!!! The decal on my left bird finger also bubbled up. I pressed and flattened it back down and smoothed out the fingerprints so that most of the nail is glossy but the area over the decal looks a bit dull and the decal looks mooshed. And now, bits of stuff are trying to stick up on my right ring finger from that decal bubble misadventure earlier.
*sigh*
I can't decide whether or not to keep the mani for a bit and see how well it wears or just clean it off and start over. I'll leave it in place overnight. I don't feel like doing my nails under a very dim light at night. My poor old eyes have trouble doing that, any more, so I avoid it, if at all possible. lol
I need an Ott Light. Seriously. It would be lovely for doing my nails, reading and knitting.
Part of this bore-fest with pictures is by way of distraction. There is a can of fat free Pringles in the pantry that is whispering my name and mocking me.
I am resisting. tho I wonder if a good dose of Olestra couldn't hurt me, right now.
You girls probably know where I am going with this.
Yep. I'm a bit stopped up. Phillips Soft Gels are helping. But... Bleargh! I hate getting constipated. It sucks. It is uncomfortable and can be a mess, too. Yeah, you know what I am talking about. :P
Why don't you ever see a constipated man? I swear. Whenever I get plugged up and uncomfortable, I see the men in this house staying on schedule and having no problem, day in, day out. Never a problem. And I resent them and I hate them and I want to hurt them.
Bad.
But instead, I take my stupid stool softeners and glug water until I feel as if my back teeth are floating and I hope for relief.
Stupid men.
I guess I had better go in and turn on the burner under the potatoes.
It's getting hot in here. The oven is on, baking boneless, skinless chicken breasts and it is warm outside and the sun is beginning to set and it is pounding on the wall and window behind me, further warming the air in here. Time to fire up my ceiling fan. :D
Okay. Get off your lazy ass, Erika.
Dude, this entry is like really long. If you got through all of it, I salute you!
Dude, this entry is like really long. If you got through all of it, I salute you!
I Are an Idiot!
I forgot to pass along the how to to get to the new post editor.
I'm sorry.
Here's how: (It's super easy, trust me. It has to be, for me to be able to do it. lolol)
Go to your Dashboard. Click on the "Settings" tab.
Then, if you need to, click the "Basic" tab. (I didn't need to, I was already there.)
Now, scroll down the page until you encounter "Post Editor". Make sure the new version is selected. If I remember correctly, that is the top option. (But don't quote me on it... lol)
Save your changes and you have more options for posting at your little fingertips. :D
There is a link to follow when you change your post editor that will tell you about the different features and tutor you in their use. I read a little, then decided to just dive in and start mucking about. Just diving in and mucking about is how I learn and have learned my few computerly skillz. :D I just decide to try something, jump in and start clicking on stuff. My computer will tell me if it is wrong. Then I back out and try something else or try again. I haven't blown my 'puter up, yet.
Give me time, tho. *evil grin*
I'm sorry.
Here's how: (It's super easy, trust me. It has to be, for me to be able to do it. lolol)
Go to your Dashboard. Click on the "Settings" tab.
Then, if you need to, click the "Basic" tab. (I didn't need to, I was already there.)
Now, scroll down the page until you encounter "Post Editor". Make sure the new version is selected. If I remember correctly, that is the top option. (But don't quote me on it... lol)
Save your changes and you have more options for posting at your little fingertips. :D
There is a link to follow when you change your post editor that will tell you about the different features and tutor you in their use. I read a little, then decided to just dive in and start mucking about. Just diving in and mucking about is how I learn and have learned my few computerly skillz. :D I just decide to try something, jump in and start clicking on stuff. My computer will tell me if it is wrong. Then I back out and try something else or try again. I haven't blown my 'puter up, yet.
Give me time, tho. *evil grin*
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Another Good Day
Well, another successful eating day in the books. And I have set a personal record. Thirteen days binge and feeding frenzy free. Just good, solid, on track healthy eating.
They say that if you do something consistently for thirty days it becomes a habit. This is a habit that I could really learn to live with.
Calories for today were: 1530.
I need to go back through my blog and see when I last weighed. I think it may be close to a month ago.
Urgh! I so don't want to get on that damned scale. I dread it so much. I know that it will give me good news... I can feel and see the difference but I still dread and fear it. I think about bringing it into my bathroom, initializing it and stepping on and I start to shake, my brain closes down and I just want to run and hide in a cave, somewhere.
I am such a weirdo drama queen idiot. lol
They say that if you do something consistently for thirty days it becomes a habit. This is a habit that I could really learn to live with.
Calories for today were: 1530.
I need to go back through my blog and see when I last weighed. I think it may be close to a month ago.
Urgh! I so don't want to get on that damned scale. I dread it so much. I know that it will give me good news... I can feel and see the difference but I still dread and fear it. I think about bringing it into my bathroom, initializing it and stepping on and I start to shake, my brain closes down and I just want to run and hide in a cave, somewhere.
I am such a weirdo drama queen idiot. lol
Random Pet Pics to Experiment
Okay... Trying out the enhanced editor. It is supposed to let you put your pictures where you want, when you want and so forth. But I can't align my text left? Bah.
This is Sabryna, my dog. My Velcro baby. My sweet girl. My total pain in the bootay to photograph baby girl. lol
Too cool! I just popped a pic of my cat, Marley licking his chops (I meant to chose a different photo, but the thumbnails on my puter don't have faboo detail and I grabbed the wrong image.) But he is still incredibly cute, don't you think?
Next thing to conquer is making links that are words, not URLs. :D Methinks that word link has something to do with it. lol
What is a jump break?
And, if you Blogger goddesses and gods don't mind my asking, can I change my blog format to a three column minima and change my background without losing my content? I like the minima format but I think it is time to step up to three columns. I keep adding stuff to my sidebar and it is getting a little obnoxious to scroll through all of that shit. lol
I owe a big Thank You Girl! to Amy from In the Land of Cheese and Sunkist for the instructions to get to the enhanced features. :D :D
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Sin and You Pay the Devil
******Warning! It gets a little gross in this post, so if you are chewing on something... Wrap it up, now or come back later. Or skip it, altogether. Seriously, I don't know if this entry is much worth reading. lol******
So, spaghetti and meat sauce; especially meat sauce made with 80/20 greasy grade hamburger is now hostile to my inner workings.
Big time.
I made the usual spaghetti and meat sauce for the boyz and I decided that since I was really light on my calories for the day, hungry as a horse and it all smelled so good, I would burn the rest of my caloric allowance on some yummy chomping.
It was okay going down... At first. About halfway through, I knew I was making a huge mistake. Not only was I eating something I haven't subjected my system to for quite some time, I was eating it too fast and not listening to my body when it asked me to stop.
Well, my stomach let me know, loud and clear that it was exceedingly unhappy with me and wouldn't tolerate this abuse. I ended up in the bathroom, bent over my toilet, sliming and trying to throw up. It took a while, I hate to throw up and I tend to tense up and make it difficult on myself. When it finally went, the pressure on my face and neck were incredible and I only ended up bringing up about half of what I ate and mostly meat and grease. And a lot more slime.
Urgh! Bleargh!
I want my mommy.
I am feeling a tad better. I cleaned the toilet (always fun to do when you are shaking and coughing and generally just wanting to fall down) and went to wash my face and brush my teeth. I looked in the mirror and my face was covered with what looked like fine hemorrhages all over my face, under my skin. Damn! I knew that it was rough, but shit! I didn't realise it was that bad. I have had that happen, before but not on such a scale and it will fade but I look as if someone took me out back and knocked the shit out of me.
I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and I feel marginally more human.
And I will definitely be avoiding fatty ground beef and other greasy foods for the foreseeable future.
Just as well. I shouldn't be ingesting that kind of stuff, anyway. Now, I have a built in "Oh, no you don't!!!" Next time I am tempted to eat something that I know is too fatty, all I have to do is remember tonight and all of the joys that it has brought. I think that will most likely back me down right quick.
Stupid gallbladder and pancreas, anyway. lol
Up until I got stupid, I was actually having a good day and evening. I have been busy and I have a lot of blogs to read and catch up on. I will, hopefully I can get started tonight and catch up tomorrow. Monday at the latest. I have missed you gals and guys and need my daily bloggy fix. :D :D
It was a gorgeous day, today. In the seventies and sunny. I had the windows wide open and actually had to fire up a ceiling fan. In fact, the windows are still open and that fan is still busily spinning. :)
Oh! Calories for the day. (No, I am not deducting for the food I lost. That is cheating. I play, I pay.) 1384 for the day. A good day by my definition. :D
So, spaghetti and meat sauce; especially meat sauce made with 80/20 greasy grade hamburger is now hostile to my inner workings.
Big time.
I made the usual spaghetti and meat sauce for the boyz and I decided that since I was really light on my calories for the day, hungry as a horse and it all smelled so good, I would burn the rest of my caloric allowance on some yummy chomping.
It was okay going down... At first. About halfway through, I knew I was making a huge mistake. Not only was I eating something I haven't subjected my system to for quite some time, I was eating it too fast and not listening to my body when it asked me to stop.
Well, my stomach let me know, loud and clear that it was exceedingly unhappy with me and wouldn't tolerate this abuse. I ended up in the bathroom, bent over my toilet, sliming and trying to throw up. It took a while, I hate to throw up and I tend to tense up and make it difficult on myself. When it finally went, the pressure on my face and neck were incredible and I only ended up bringing up about half of what I ate and mostly meat and grease. And a lot more slime.
Urgh! Bleargh!
I want my mommy.
I am feeling a tad better. I cleaned the toilet (always fun to do when you are shaking and coughing and generally just wanting to fall down) and went to wash my face and brush my teeth. I looked in the mirror and my face was covered with what looked like fine hemorrhages all over my face, under my skin. Damn! I knew that it was rough, but shit! I didn't realise it was that bad. I have had that happen, before but not on such a scale and it will fade but I look as if someone took me out back and knocked the shit out of me.
I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and I feel marginally more human.
And I will definitely be avoiding fatty ground beef and other greasy foods for the foreseeable future.
Just as well. I shouldn't be ingesting that kind of stuff, anyway. Now, I have a built in "Oh, no you don't!!!" Next time I am tempted to eat something that I know is too fatty, all I have to do is remember tonight and all of the joys that it has brought. I think that will most likely back me down right quick.
Stupid gallbladder and pancreas, anyway. lol
Up until I got stupid, I was actually having a good day and evening. I have been busy and I have a lot of blogs to read and catch up on. I will, hopefully I can get started tonight and catch up tomorrow. Monday at the latest. I have missed you gals and guys and need my daily bloggy fix. :D :D
It was a gorgeous day, today. In the seventies and sunny. I had the windows wide open and actually had to fire up a ceiling fan. In fact, the windows are still open and that fan is still busily spinning. :)
Oh! Calories for the day. (No, I am not deducting for the food I lost. That is cheating. I play, I pay.) 1384 for the day. A good day by my definition. :D
Friday, April 16, 2010
Late Night Quickie
Get your frakkin' mind out of the gutter. lol
Mine is already in there... Taking up all of the room. ;)
*evil grin*
Anyhoodle, I just wanted to pop in and record how my day went, today. It went well. I didn't have any destructive thoughts or urges, no desire to have a feeding frenzy or binge and I felt positive and in control.
Calories for today landed at 1471. I'll take it. :D
I am tired and ready to hit the sack.
Good night and I hope that everyone who stops by also had a wonderful day.
Mine is already in there... Taking up all of the room. ;)
*evil grin*
Anyhoodle, I just wanted to pop in and record how my day went, today. It went well. I didn't have any destructive thoughts or urges, no desire to have a feeding frenzy or binge and I felt positive and in control.
Calories for today landed at 1471. I'll take it. :D
I am tired and ready to hit the sack.
Good night and I hope that everyone who stops by also had a wonderful day.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Grouchy
I am grouchy. Grumpy. Crabby and ready to tear the head off the first passing unfortunate who even dares look at me funny. I think part of it is feeling stuff I normally stuff and numb out with vast quantities of food and part of it is just Spring Fever and frustration. (No... Not that kind of frustration. Get your mind out of the gutter. lol) I need to get out of this house more often and I also think that getting my flowers and soil and a few more containers might be a good outlet for my feelings.
I am tired of the status quo around here and I want things to change. Faster and far more drastically than they have been. I don't know how hard I can push, tho. Husband is already getting mulish. And I am beginning to feel as if I should just back down.
*sigh*
Anyway...
Counting in today, I have had ten solid days binge free. I feel so good about that. I feel a real sense of accomplishment and pride in myself. My calories today will come in a tad bit high... It was Subway Day for me. But I will still land just under 1700, even if I decide to slurp down that carton of Skinny Cow Chocolate brownie ice cream lurking in my freezer. I am debating it, in my head. I am not really hungry. In addition to my sub, earlier I had a very hearty chicken wrap that I made for dinner. (I need to photograph the process of making that wrap and post the recipe. It really is tasty. :D) So, yeah... A good day to go with a whole string of them. It is nice to have good days.
I am scared, in a way. I know that I could blow at any time. I have always done so in the past. I am hoping that I am learning from my past. But, am I really? I do know that there is something different, now. A peace and acceptance of this new lifestyle that I haven't had before. Knowing that this time I am not "on a diet". I am really making changes that can and will last long term. They have to. I am saving my life, here. And I want to live. I am still a fairly young woman. I have a lot I want to see and do and that is going to be a little difficult if I am taking a dirt nap.
So, that is where my head is, tonight.
I hope that your head is in a really good place and life is good. :D
I am tired of the status quo around here and I want things to change. Faster and far more drastically than they have been. I don't know how hard I can push, tho. Husband is already getting mulish. And I am beginning to feel as if I should just back down.
*sigh*
Anyway...
Counting in today, I have had ten solid days binge free. I feel so good about that. I feel a real sense of accomplishment and pride in myself. My calories today will come in a tad bit high... It was Subway Day for me. But I will still land just under 1700, even if I decide to slurp down that carton of Skinny Cow Chocolate brownie ice cream lurking in my freezer. I am debating it, in my head. I am not really hungry. In addition to my sub, earlier I had a very hearty chicken wrap that I made for dinner. (I need to photograph the process of making that wrap and post the recipe. It really is tasty. :D) So, yeah... A good day to go with a whole string of them. It is nice to have good days.
I am scared, in a way. I know that I could blow at any time. I have always done so in the past. I am hoping that I am learning from my past. But, am I really? I do know that there is something different, now. A peace and acceptance of this new lifestyle that I haven't had before. Knowing that this time I am not "on a diet". I am really making changes that can and will last long term. They have to. I am saving my life, here. And I want to live. I am still a fairly young woman. I have a lot I want to see and do and that is going to be a little difficult if I am taking a dirt nap.
So, that is where my head is, tonight.
I hope that your head is in a really good place and life is good. :D
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thank You, All Bloggers
I am sooo glad that you are all here. I was having a bit of a rough day, today. Obsessive thoughts and urges began sneaking in and I felt close to the edge for a while. Rather than giving in and being destructive, I grabbed my lappie and started reading your blogs, instead. Weight loss blogs, nail polish blogs, even an art blog or two. You all pulled me through a difficult time and I think that I am going to be just fine, now. :D
Thank you! *flowers*
Thank you! *flowers*
It's a Beautiful Day and a Blue Mani of Happiness
It is a lovely, sunny mountain Spring day. (Yes, we have mountains in Arizona... ;) :D) I am rolling with a good day, so far. I had breakfast and haven't really felt an overwhelming need for lunch, yet. I'll go ahead and have it, in a bit but I am not in any rush.
It is So. Frakkin'. Weird. That I am not obsessing and worried about when I am next going to eat. I usually can't think of anything else. It feels so freeing. Yet strange. And a part of me is reveling in it while the other part is shaking in my boots, fearing that it will just evaporate away and leave me, shaking, mourning it's passing.
I really need it to not leave me because I like it.
A lot. :D
New mani day, today. I chose China Glaze For Audrey. So pretty. I love this colour as much as I have known I would. It has been on my lemming list for a while, now and I am so happy to have it, now. And the second I hear rumblings that it will be discontinued, I will have to obtain at least one back up bottle. I am thinking two or three, as I think that this shade would be nice for marbling (which I have yet to try) and maybe mixing, too. But right now, I am just enjoying it on it's own.
My only regret is that I only did two coats. I really think that this is a three coater and I will most likely add a third, later. I need dry nails, right now as I have laundry to finish and wet nails and folding and fluffing don't exactly go well together. :D
This polish is a bit of a chameleon. In natural light it is a true, light slightly greyed Tiffany blue. In fluorescent light and dim light it shows it's green roots and looks a bit more greyed, as well. In fact, in some light, it reminds me of Sleeping Beauty Turquoise. This polish applied very easily, tho it was a bit thin and streaky on the first coat. The second really smoothed it out, tho. A coat of Seche really put it over the top and put a major shine on the whole show. Clean up was easy, too. No staining or other obnoxious BS.
Pictures. :D
In natural light through my living room window, no flash. Look how blue. :D Sorry about the bubble on my ring finger. *blush*
With flash, you can see some of the green and grey in this colour. And these pics don't show that it is a tad thin, in spots. I really should have done three coats. :D And, I went a little overboard on clean up on my middle finger. That gap is a bit... lol
It is So. Frakkin'. Weird. That I am not obsessing and worried about when I am next going to eat. I usually can't think of anything else. It feels so freeing. Yet strange. And a part of me is reveling in it while the other part is shaking in my boots, fearing that it will just evaporate away and leave me, shaking, mourning it's passing.
I really need it to not leave me because I like it.
A lot. :D
New mani day, today. I chose China Glaze For Audrey. So pretty. I love this colour as much as I have known I would. It has been on my lemming list for a while, now and I am so happy to have it, now. And the second I hear rumblings that it will be discontinued, I will have to obtain at least one back up bottle. I am thinking two or three, as I think that this shade would be nice for marbling (which I have yet to try) and maybe mixing, too. But right now, I am just enjoying it on it's own.
My only regret is that I only did two coats. I really think that this is a three coater and I will most likely add a third, later. I need dry nails, right now as I have laundry to finish and wet nails and folding and fluffing don't exactly go well together. :D
This polish is a bit of a chameleon. In natural light it is a true, light slightly greyed Tiffany blue. In fluorescent light and dim light it shows it's green roots and looks a bit more greyed, as well. In fact, in some light, it reminds me of Sleeping Beauty Turquoise. This polish applied very easily, tho it was a bit thin and streaky on the first coat. The second really smoothed it out, tho. A coat of Seche really put it over the top and put a major shine on the whole show. Clean up was easy, too. No staining or other obnoxious BS.
Pictures. :D
In natural light through my living room window, no flash. Look how blue. :D Sorry about the bubble on my ring finger. *blush*
With flash, you can see some of the green and grey in this colour. And these pics don't show that it is a tad thin, in spots. I really should have done three coats. :D And, I went a little overboard on clean up on my middle finger. That gap is a bit... lolI love, love, love this polish. If you want to try a light blue cream that is a little more sophisticated, a bit more "grown up" in feel, this one may be right up your alley.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Not A Clock Watcher Anymore
You know how it goes... You diet by the clock. Breakfast at a certain time. Then it is time to bite your nails and clench your fists until noon, when you get to have lunch. Then, it is time to anxiously wait, counting the hours and minutes until you can have that afternoon snack, then, just a couple of short hours later...
Dinner!
Ugh. It sucked and it was so hard on me. And I did it every time I attempted to try to lose weight. And it didn't work. At all.
In fact, it was one of the biggest causes to send me spiralling right out of control and into the same old patterns. Being fenced in and constrained is no way to live and it is certainly no way to fuel your body.
This time around, something clicked in my idiot head and I am no longer obsessing over the time. I no longer watch the clock. I no longer eat at the stroke of the hour then white knuckle it until my next feeding.
I just gave myself permission to eat what I need to eat when I need to eat it. I eat to fuel my body, not to satisfy a stupid schedule.
In the morning, I eat breakfast when I feel like eating breakfast. Whatever time it might be... Seven or ten... Doesn't matter. I eat to live, I don't live to eat. Lunch is served when I want it, not when my clock strikes and chimes noon. Dinner? I didn't have dinner until after eight, tonight. I might have it at five, tomorrow. I don't know.
I don't care.
Neither, funnily enough, does my stomach.
I feel free. :D :D :D :D
Dinner!
Ugh. It sucked and it was so hard on me. And I did it every time I attempted to try to lose weight. And it didn't work. At all.
In fact, it was one of the biggest causes to send me spiralling right out of control and into the same old patterns. Being fenced in and constrained is no way to live and it is certainly no way to fuel your body.
This time around, something clicked in my idiot head and I am no longer obsessing over the time. I no longer watch the clock. I no longer eat at the stroke of the hour then white knuckle it until my next feeding.
I just gave myself permission to eat what I need to eat when I need to eat it. I eat to fuel my body, not to satisfy a stupid schedule.
In the morning, I eat breakfast when I feel like eating breakfast. Whatever time it might be... Seven or ten... Doesn't matter. I eat to live, I don't live to eat. Lunch is served when I want it, not when my clock strikes and chimes noon. Dinner? I didn't have dinner until after eight, tonight. I might have it at five, tomorrow. I don't know.
I don't care.
Neither, funnily enough, does my stomach.
I feel free. :D :D :D :D
Cruising Along, A Product Review or Two and Mini Haul :D
Yesterday was a good day. I was on an even keel, in control and smooth. I ate very well and my calories were right in line. 1426 for the day. I consider anything under 1500 a very good day.
I have had seven consecutive binge and feeding frenzy free days. I admit to being almost scared by that. But I am working very hard to remain positive and not allow fear or old thoughts to surface and mess with my head. I get into trouble when I do that. You see, my binges and feeding frenzies (yes, there is a difference between the two) are mostly driven by emotion and mental chaos. They are rarely motivated by physical factors, tho I do crave the physical "relief" that numbing out and filling myself to the point that I can't feel produce.
I like how this feels, having good days. Days where I can keep my thoughts more positive, staying calm, eating to live and fuel my body without obsessing over binging and feeding uncontrollably. It is nice to have time for activities other than running to the kitchen, cooking and fixing and preparing and cleaning up after and hiding and shifting and stuffing and stuffing and stuffing all day long. It is exhausting. Mentally and emotionally as well as physically to live obsessed with constantly feeding that hellish chaos.
Not constantly feeding it enables me to start learning to live. Really live. Not just exist as a thing that can do nothing but feed. I have time to clean my house, do creative projects, take care of myself. I deserve to be cared for. I really do. And I am going to let myself do that, from now on. :D
That is huge for me, admitting that I am worth taking care of myself. Maybe I am beginning to build a sense of self esteem. Maybe, little by little, a glimmer of that confident, fearless girl I once was is trying to spark, again. I think I could like that.
What a concept. :D
Okay, I have to rave about something that I tried for the first time, last night. I was craving on a little something sweet and I wanted chocolate! Bad. One of the things I am trying to teach myself is to treat myself to small indulgences without totally derailing myself. One thing that will be of help and a nice treat now and then is Skinny Cow ice cream. Husband brought it home for me yesterday and I tried it last night.
Yum! Seriously. The flavour he brought me was Chocolate Fudge Brownie. The carton is one serving at 5.8 ounces and 150 calories. For a "diet" ice cream it is surprisingly good. For something low in calories and fat, it is quite rich, creamy and thick. The chocolate flavour is intense for a light product and there was plenty of fudge brownie goodness, too. And, let's face it, it is fun as hell to eat a whole carton of ice cream. Now I can without hurting myself or spiralling out of control.
All hail Skinny Cow ice cream. Lovely, yummy stuff and a wonderful treat.
My mini haul from the other day. Husband is amazingly cool with the fact that I am into the polish, these days. He usually argues when I want to buy something that I have "enough" (in his opinion) of. He doesn't bat an eye when I buy polish. So... I buy polish. :D lol At Sally's I scored China Glaze For Audrey and Liquid Leather. Orly Snow cone. Then I went to Walgreen's and found Sinful Colors Green Ocean. I also got a lip gloss. Maybelline Shine Sensational gloss. It was in a display that had a whole pad of dollar off coupons, so I decided to grab one and try it.
The gloss I got is the berry flavoured. The colour, in the tube is similar to Bare Escentuals Buxom gloss in Dolly, my all time favourite lip gloss. When I got it home I tried it and while it is okay, it isn't stellar. The pigment isn't very intense. Colour payoff isn't anywhere near what the tube promises. It goes on very sheer with a light hint of pigment. It is shimmery. Not the very fine micro shimmer that I expect in higher end glosses, this gloss contains a micro glitter. It isn't obnoxious, my lips don't look blinged, or anything but I definitely get sparkles and glints. The shine is okay, not as glossy-shiny as I would expect but fairly nice. This gloss is very intensely scented and flavoured. It reminds me of berry bubblegum and it tastes as sweet as it smells.
I will use this tube up but I won't be buying it, again. I think that this is a bit "young" for my taste, at this stage of my life. There is nothing wrong with it, it just isn't really my kind of thing, any more. But it is nice for anyone who likes a nice shine, a little glitter and sweet scent and flavour.
I have had seven consecutive binge and feeding frenzy free days. I admit to being almost scared by that. But I am working very hard to remain positive and not allow fear or old thoughts to surface and mess with my head. I get into trouble when I do that. You see, my binges and feeding frenzies (yes, there is a difference between the two) are mostly driven by emotion and mental chaos. They are rarely motivated by physical factors, tho I do crave the physical "relief" that numbing out and filling myself to the point that I can't feel produce.
I like how this feels, having good days. Days where I can keep my thoughts more positive, staying calm, eating to live and fuel my body without obsessing over binging and feeding uncontrollably. It is nice to have time for activities other than running to the kitchen, cooking and fixing and preparing and cleaning up after and hiding and shifting and stuffing and stuffing and stuffing all day long. It is exhausting. Mentally and emotionally as well as physically to live obsessed with constantly feeding that hellish chaos.
Not constantly feeding it enables me to start learning to live. Really live. Not just exist as a thing that can do nothing but feed. I have time to clean my house, do creative projects, take care of myself. I deserve to be cared for. I really do. And I am going to let myself do that, from now on. :D
That is huge for me, admitting that I am worth taking care of myself. Maybe I am beginning to build a sense of self esteem. Maybe, little by little, a glimmer of that confident, fearless girl I once was is trying to spark, again. I think I could like that.
What a concept. :D
Okay, I have to rave about something that I tried for the first time, last night. I was craving on a little something sweet and I wanted chocolate! Bad. One of the things I am trying to teach myself is to treat myself to small indulgences without totally derailing myself. One thing that will be of help and a nice treat now and then is Skinny Cow ice cream. Husband brought it home for me yesterday and I tried it last night.
Yum! Seriously. The flavour he brought me was Chocolate Fudge Brownie. The carton is one serving at 5.8 ounces and 150 calories. For a "diet" ice cream it is surprisingly good. For something low in calories and fat, it is quite rich, creamy and thick. The chocolate flavour is intense for a light product and there was plenty of fudge brownie goodness, too. And, let's face it, it is fun as hell to eat a whole carton of ice cream. Now I can without hurting myself or spiralling out of control.
All hail Skinny Cow ice cream. Lovely, yummy stuff and a wonderful treat.
My mini haul from the other day. Husband is amazingly cool with the fact that I am into the polish, these days. He usually argues when I want to buy something that I have "enough" (in his opinion) of. He doesn't bat an eye when I buy polish. So... I buy polish. :D lol At Sally's I scored China Glaze For Audrey and Liquid Leather. Orly Snow cone. Then I went to Walgreen's and found Sinful Colors Green Ocean. I also got a lip gloss. Maybelline Shine Sensational gloss. It was in a display that had a whole pad of dollar off coupons, so I decided to grab one and try it.
The gloss I got is the berry flavoured. The colour, in the tube is similar to Bare Escentuals Buxom gloss in Dolly, my all time favourite lip gloss. When I got it home I tried it and while it is okay, it isn't stellar. The pigment isn't very intense. Colour payoff isn't anywhere near what the tube promises. It goes on very sheer with a light hint of pigment. It is shimmery. Not the very fine micro shimmer that I expect in higher end glosses, this gloss contains a micro glitter. It isn't obnoxious, my lips don't look blinged, or anything but I definitely get sparkles and glints. The shine is okay, not as glossy-shiny as I would expect but fairly nice. This gloss is very intensely scented and flavoured. It reminds me of berry bubblegum and it tastes as sweet as it smells.
I will use this tube up but I won't be buying it, again. I think that this is a bit "young" for my taste, at this stage of my life. There is nothing wrong with it, it just isn't really my kind of thing, any more. But it is nice for anyone who likes a nice shine, a little glitter and sweet scent and flavour.
It's another pretty day in my neck of the woods. A little cool but nice. It is supposed to warm up very nicely as the week progresses. It was chilly, last night and this morning. There was a light frost when I got up, this morning. Good thing I haven't planted my flowers, yet. lol
Monday, April 12, 2010
Chillin'
I have decided to take an easy day, today. I am doing minimal housework and spending a lot of time just resting this consarned hip of mine. I do have to do laundry, my hampers are full. I'll get to it...
Later. lol
I did get a couple of pieces of chicken grilled... I am planning to consume one for lunch, today. I am also making chicken for dinner. By the time this day is over I will be clucking. lol
Okay, I am mad at Quaker, right now. I love their Weight Control oatmeal in the morning. It is a no brainer... Portion controlled, easy, goes great with fruit and delicious and filling. But, I am super fussy about flavours. About the only one I really like is the cinnamon and for some stupid reason I can't figure out, they just aren't distributing whole boxes of the cinnamon. I can only find the variety packs which have a mere two cinnamon, four maple and brown sugar (ick... fake maple) and two banana bread... The single most nauseating flavour on the planet. Seriously, it is cloyingly sweet and reeks of fakealoo banana essence. It is nasty. I can't eat it on a bet. I can choke down the maple and brown sugar if I doctor it with a lot of cinnamon and fruit. I want my boxes of cinnamon oatmeal back, Quaker!
Okay, tantrum over.
We went a did a little shopping, yesterday. I was looking for a mirror for over my dresser but I didn't see anything that blew me away so my search continues. I also looked at Ross for a new purse. There were a couple of possibles but in the end, I wasn't willing to pay the prices that were being asked, even at Ross. I think that $60.00 is too high for a plastic and fabric bag in a discount store. I think I will go cruise Dillard's. They usually have nice bags marked down and I can get much higher quality for about the same amount of money. I don't mind some fabric on a bag but I don't really like plastic. I prefer leather. And I am super picky about the style and colour. (Am I beginning to show a pattern, here? lol)
I did end up going to Sally's. Picked up three new nail polishes. They have a sale going, right now, buy two, get one free. I got three delicious polishes for nine dollars and change. I also found a bottle of Sinful Colors Green Ocean (flakies!) at Walgreen's and grabbed a lip gloss there, as well.
On to Big Lots... Still no mirror. I may end up buying a large square mirror to go over my fireplace and move my antique mirror into my bedroom and put it over my dresser. The more I think about it, the more I may just do that. I think that my smaller, antique mirror would look really nice in there and a bigger, more "important" mirror will be better over my fireplace.
I forgot to say how I did yesterday, didn't I? I did fine. 1114 calories. I was actually trying to get more and that is where I ended up. Some days are so weird like that. I try and try to keep the number down and no matter what I do, end up at the high end. Then I have the occasional day like yesterday where I eat and eat and eat and... 1114 calories for the day. lol
It's sunny today and really windy and cooler. We are supposed to get rain, tonight. I like rain. As long as it doesn't snow, I'll be happy. Do not want snow.
Blah, blah, blah.
Later. lol
I did get a couple of pieces of chicken grilled... I am planning to consume one for lunch, today. I am also making chicken for dinner. By the time this day is over I will be clucking. lol
Okay, I am mad at Quaker, right now. I love their Weight Control oatmeal in the morning. It is a no brainer... Portion controlled, easy, goes great with fruit and delicious and filling. But, I am super fussy about flavours. About the only one I really like is the cinnamon and for some stupid reason I can't figure out, they just aren't distributing whole boxes of the cinnamon. I can only find the variety packs which have a mere two cinnamon, four maple and brown sugar (ick... fake maple) and two banana bread... The single most nauseating flavour on the planet. Seriously, it is cloyingly sweet and reeks of fakealoo banana essence. It is nasty. I can't eat it on a bet. I can choke down the maple and brown sugar if I doctor it with a lot of cinnamon and fruit. I want my boxes of cinnamon oatmeal back, Quaker!
Okay, tantrum over.
We went a did a little shopping, yesterday. I was looking for a mirror for over my dresser but I didn't see anything that blew me away so my search continues. I also looked at Ross for a new purse. There were a couple of possibles but in the end, I wasn't willing to pay the prices that were being asked, even at Ross. I think that $60.00 is too high for a plastic and fabric bag in a discount store. I think I will go cruise Dillard's. They usually have nice bags marked down and I can get much higher quality for about the same amount of money. I don't mind some fabric on a bag but I don't really like plastic. I prefer leather. And I am super picky about the style and colour. (Am I beginning to show a pattern, here? lol)
I did end up going to Sally's. Picked up three new nail polishes. They have a sale going, right now, buy two, get one free. I got three delicious polishes for nine dollars and change. I also found a bottle of Sinful Colors Green Ocean (flakies!) at Walgreen's and grabbed a lip gloss there, as well.
On to Big Lots... Still no mirror. I may end up buying a large square mirror to go over my fireplace and move my antique mirror into my bedroom and put it over my dresser. The more I think about it, the more I may just do that. I think that my smaller, antique mirror would look really nice in there and a bigger, more "important" mirror will be better over my fireplace.
I forgot to say how I did yesterday, didn't I? I did fine. 1114 calories. I was actually trying to get more and that is where I ended up. Some days are so weird like that. I try and try to keep the number down and no matter what I do, end up at the high end. Then I have the occasional day like yesterday where I eat and eat and eat and... 1114 calories for the day. lol
It's sunny today and really windy and cooler. We are supposed to get rain, tonight. I like rain. As long as it doesn't snow, I'll be happy. Do not want snow.
Blah, blah, blah.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Wrap Me, Amadeus and Mani of the Day
A good Sunday to everyone. I hope that you are all having a terrific, happy and on track day. :D I have a busy day ahead of me today and I knew that I needed a good, satisfying and protein packed brekkie so I made a yummy wrap with egg and fat free cheddar. They actually make fat free cheese that tastes decent and that melts!!!! now! How frakkin fabulous is that? I looooooooooooooooooove cheese. Seriously looooooooooove it. Now, I can enjoy and not feel as if I am undoing all of my hard work. :D :D :D I am working on refining my recipe for this wrap. It comes in a little higher in calories than I really like, this one was 344. Not awful, by any means, but I think that I can use Egg Beaters, rather than a whole egg and two whites (I am a protein hound!) and I would like to try adding more veg and maybe some Morningstar "sausage-y" crumbles.
When I hit on a good recipe, I will post it. If you want the recipe for this morning's creation, leave me a comment and I will detail it in a future post. :D
Eggy Brekkie Wrap. It was tasty, but I think I can do better. :D
I'm India Mood for Love, natural sunlight through my window with little decals. :D
Taken indoors, no flash, natural light. This photographs so much lighter than it is in person.
Taken last night, with flash.
When I hit on a good recipe, I will post it. If you want the recipe for this morning's creation, leave me a comment and I will detail it in a future post. :D
Eggy Brekkie Wrap. It was tasty, but I think I can do better. :DCurrent mani is OPI I'm India Mood for Love. Such a lovely, cool, bright blue based intense pink. For some strange reason this polish photographs a softer, lighter carnation pink in either natural light or flash. I like this polish a lot and use it fairly frequently. It got really thick, since the last time I wore it and it was a real pain to apply, last night. I had to do three coats for opacity and it was a lot of work to get it smooth and nice. Seche really helped. I thinned it after I used it so hopefully, it will perform better, next time I use it.
This morning I added decals. :D A bad experience taught me that Seche right over decals spells disaster. Seche makes them lift and wrinkle, as if they are in agony. lol So, now I top decals directly with Out the Door top coat. I don't particularly like it for regular use but it does work well to seal down decals.
Pics are out of order. I forgot to reverse the upload to post order and I am so not going to re do this post to reverse the picture order. lol So without further ado, my mani:
I'm India Mood for Love, natural sunlight through my window with little decals. :D
Taken indoors, no flash, natural light. This photographs so much lighter than it is in person.
Taken last night, with flash. I must have wrenched my back yesterday. I was in pain when I went to bed, last night. My lower back was wracked. I took Advil, which usually works just fine and woke at three in the morning after tossing, turning and sleeping fitfully. I hurt so badly that I got up and took one of the Vicodin that Husband had been prescribed when he had a kidney stone, last year. Yes, I know that using someone Else's prescription is not smart. That it can be dangerous and I don't like to take narcotics, if I don't absolutely have to. However, I was hurting terribly, I couldn't sleep and I felt as if I had little choice. And, I have taken Vicodin before, at the same dosage so I know that I react okay to it. I took one and it finally kicked in, took away my pain and knocked me cold and I got four solid hours of sleep.
I am a little sleepy today but I should sleep very well, tonight. I'll go to bed with a couple of Advil PM and should get a good solid night's sleep.
Okay... 'Nuff whining. I need to get into the shower and get myself ready. Husband and Son will be back later and we are all going out. It is a nice day, warm and sunny with a little light overcast and some wind. :D I'll see you all later.
Have a good one. :D
Yawn!!!
I'm tired. :D
But it is a good tired. The tired that comes with a nice sense of accomplishment. I think I finally have my room arranged as I want it. It is a small room and getting everything just so takes a bit of doing. I still want to get new bedding and curtains and some more "art" on the walls. But I am pretty happy with the furniture arrangement.
I used to have two dressers in there. And frankly, it was one dresser too many. So, I cleared out both, re arranged all the clothes and discovered that Husband and I can quite nicely share the five drawer chest. So, I kissed my long dresser goodbye. Husband took it out to the garage and he is going to ask around at work and see if anyone wants it. If not, I'll Freecycle it. It is still a pretty good dresser and looks nice and has a lovely broken pediment mirror that goes with it. Someone might as well get some use out of it.
Anyway, My room looks better and it is much easier to walk around in there, now. I also finally have my dressing table set up, too. Now I have a nice spot to sit and do my face, hair and so forth. :D
I ate well, today. I was too busy to really think much about eating or food or anything else, really. lol Calories for the day were 1188. :D
I am yawning wide enough to dislocate my jaw and I am brain dead, so I think I am going to hit the sack.
Hopefully, I'll have time to catch up with everybody, tomorrow.
Good night. :D
But it is a good tired. The tired that comes with a nice sense of accomplishment. I think I finally have my room arranged as I want it. It is a small room and getting everything just so takes a bit of doing. I still want to get new bedding and curtains and some more "art" on the walls. But I am pretty happy with the furniture arrangement.
I used to have two dressers in there. And frankly, it was one dresser too many. So, I cleared out both, re arranged all the clothes and discovered that Husband and I can quite nicely share the five drawer chest. So, I kissed my long dresser goodbye. Husband took it out to the garage and he is going to ask around at work and see if anyone wants it. If not, I'll Freecycle it. It is still a pretty good dresser and looks nice and has a lovely broken pediment mirror that goes with it. Someone might as well get some use out of it.
Anyway, My room looks better and it is much easier to walk around in there, now. I also finally have my dressing table set up, too. Now I have a nice spot to sit and do my face, hair and so forth. :D
I ate well, today. I was too busy to really think much about eating or food or anything else, really. lol Calories for the day were 1188. :D
I am yawning wide enough to dislocate my jaw and I am brain dead, so I think I am going to hit the sack.
Hopefully, I'll have time to catch up with everybody, tomorrow.
Good night. :D
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Feeling Better
Thanks. :D
It was a little touch and go, last night. Two doses of Pepto tablets an hour or so apart helped me be able to sleep. Too bad they couldn't make the screwy dreams go away. lol
I am busy... Ripping my bedroom apart, Spring cleaning and organizing and I need to get back to work.
Back later to read everyone and catch up.
Have a fabulous, happy and on track day! *loves*
It was a little touch and go, last night. Two doses of Pepto tablets an hour or so apart helped me be able to sleep. Too bad they couldn't make the screwy dreams go away. lol
I am busy... Ripping my bedroom apart, Spring cleaning and organizing and I need to get back to work.
Back later to read everyone and catch up.
Have a fabulous, happy and on track day! *loves*
Friday, April 9, 2010
I Don't Feel Well
Urgh.
I had asparagus with my chicken for dinner. It smelled a little funny... I probably should have skipped it but I thought it was just a little over ripe or something. And I felt guilty about throwing out something so expensive. So I steamed and consumed it. Now, I feel intestinal distress.
Sabryna, who ate asparagus stems (yes, my dog eats vegetables :D) threw up, tonight.
Methinks I should have tossed the asparagus.
Methinks I might toss the asparagus.
Bleargh.
Other than that... A good day was had by me. I ended up consuming 1312 calories.
May I please pass out, now?
I had asparagus with my chicken for dinner. It smelled a little funny... I probably should have skipped it but I thought it was just a little over ripe or something. And I felt guilty about throwing out something so expensive. So I steamed and consumed it. Now, I feel intestinal distress.
Sabryna, who ate asparagus stems (yes, my dog eats vegetables :D) threw up, tonight.
Methinks I should have tossed the asparagus.
Methinks I might toss the asparagus.
Bleargh.
Other than that... A good day was had by me. I ended up consuming 1312 calories.
May I please pass out, now?
The Avocado Was Mine
This wasn't an impulse, binge-y feeding frenzy decision. I thought about it. Weighed the calorie cost against whether or not I thought it was worth it and decided it was. I had it with a piece of grilled chicken and salad for lunch. It was lovely and worth every decadent calorie. It made my lunch lovely and delicious. I needed something different. I have had a very monotonous diet, lately. A tight budget has made it necessary to eat a lot of the same stuff in order to stay on track.
I am hoping that I can stretch the budget a bit, this week and pick up a few new items in addition to the old faves. I need a little variety. I am getting bored and starting to think about other things I would like to eat. Things I shouldn't eat if I want to stay on track and achieve my goals. Staying on track and achieving my goals is important. and I am not going to use boredom as an excuse to do something stupid. I have fallen into that pit trap before and it always took me a long time to dig my way out.
I am sick of shovelling.
I had a busy morning. Did a lot of housework, laundry and so forth. I had to take extra time and dust down my dining set. The dining set that Husband loved and got a good deal on. The dining set ornamented with a lot of somewhat ornate metal curves and curlicues. That all have to be painstakingly dusted. Sigh. Even with my Swiffer duster it took me quite a while to do that, this morning. Obviously, when he chose that table and chairs, cleaning it never entered his mind. Why should it? I am the one who gets to clean it. He doesn't have to. *rolling my eyes*
China Glaze Watermelon Rind doesn't wear very well. I just did my mani yesterday and I already have fairly significant tip wear on a few nails. I think I will touch it up tonight and maybe turn it into something else, with the addition of another polish colour. We'll see what happens. :D
I don't know what I did to my widdle pinkie finger on my right hand but it hurts. The middle knuckle is really sore and I am having a hard time typing. Owie.
Son finally cleaned his nasty bathroom. I hate it when he lets it get so dirty that I can smell it from up here. I don't appreciate toilet breath wafting up the stairs to me. Yuk. Twenty-one year old guys are gross. lol His shower curtain fell apart and he is going out later to buy a new one. He used the last one until it literally fell off the rings. I have to give him credit for getting every last bit of use out of something. Takes after his old mom, in that respect. :D
It is gorgeous, today. Warmer, sunny and the birdies are rioting in the trees. I have windows open and the house is airing out nicely. :D After Fall, Spring is my favourite season. And I am enjoying this Spring.
I am having a good day, eating and otherwise. The head is pretty calm, I am under control and feeling pretty normal. I am not thinking nonstop about food, I am not clocking the hours and minutes to my next meal and I am not having obsessive thoughts or impulses.
I am getting plenty of protein the last couple of days. Protein is important to me, it helps me feel physically full, longer, it stabilises my blood sugar and it is good for my muscles, skin and hair. I crave it and I feed that craving. :D
There are danish in a little bag on top of my toaster oven in my kitchen. One was apple. My all time favourite. I wasn't even tempted. I have no interest in them. No craving, no need to feed on them. Nothing. I could care less if they are there or not.
Win. :D
I hope that you are all having wins, today. :D :D
I am hoping that I can stretch the budget a bit, this week and pick up a few new items in addition to the old faves. I need a little variety. I am getting bored and starting to think about other things I would like to eat. Things I shouldn't eat if I want to stay on track and achieve my goals. Staying on track and achieving my goals is important. and I am not going to use boredom as an excuse to do something stupid. I have fallen into that pit trap before and it always took me a long time to dig my way out.
I am sick of shovelling.
I had a busy morning. Did a lot of housework, laundry and so forth. I had to take extra time and dust down my dining set. The dining set that Husband loved and got a good deal on. The dining set ornamented with a lot of somewhat ornate metal curves and curlicues. That all have to be painstakingly dusted. Sigh. Even with my Swiffer duster it took me quite a while to do that, this morning. Obviously, when he chose that table and chairs, cleaning it never entered his mind. Why should it? I am the one who gets to clean it. He doesn't have to. *rolling my eyes*
China Glaze Watermelon Rind doesn't wear very well. I just did my mani yesterday and I already have fairly significant tip wear on a few nails. I think I will touch it up tonight and maybe turn it into something else, with the addition of another polish colour. We'll see what happens. :D
I don't know what I did to my widdle pinkie finger on my right hand but it hurts. The middle knuckle is really sore and I am having a hard time typing. Owie.
Son finally cleaned his nasty bathroom. I hate it when he lets it get so dirty that I can smell it from up here. I don't appreciate toilet breath wafting up the stairs to me. Yuk. Twenty-one year old guys are gross. lol His shower curtain fell apart and he is going out later to buy a new one. He used the last one until it literally fell off the rings. I have to give him credit for getting every last bit of use out of something. Takes after his old mom, in that respect. :D
It is gorgeous, today. Warmer, sunny and the birdies are rioting in the trees. I have windows open and the house is airing out nicely. :D After Fall, Spring is my favourite season. And I am enjoying this Spring.
I am having a good day, eating and otherwise. The head is pretty calm, I am under control and feeling pretty normal. I am not thinking nonstop about food, I am not clocking the hours and minutes to my next meal and I am not having obsessive thoughts or impulses.
I am getting plenty of protein the last couple of days. Protein is important to me, it helps me feel physically full, longer, it stabilises my blood sugar and it is good for my muscles, skin and hair. I crave it and I feed that craving. :D
There are danish in a little bag on top of my toaster oven in my kitchen. One was apple. My all time favourite. I wasn't even tempted. I have no interest in them. No craving, no need to feed on them. Nothing. I could care less if they are there or not.
Win. :D
I hope that you are all having wins, today. :D :D
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Last Post Today
I promise. lol
I know that I have been a bit of a yak-box today. Haven't really said a whole hell of a lot but I managed to use a lot of words to do it.
Anyhoo...
This was a pretty decent day. I was calm in mind, strong in resolve and nicely balanced and in control. I likee. :D
My calories were a tad high... Today was Superdeeduper Delicious Big Old Subway Sandwich Day. But not out of the realm of a good day. I ended the day at 1567. Not too shabby.
I have an avocado ripening in a bowl on my kitchen counter.
Husband brought it home from the store for me, today. I wonder if Son is off tomorrow? The smart thing for me to do would be to hack that bad boy open (the avocado, not Son lololol) take my portion, add it to my lunch then give him the rest. Skinny little shit (Son, not the avocado) could use a few extra calories and the healthy fats contained within.
But...
Do I really want to share?
I could just take a portion of the avocado and rub the rest with lemon juice, wrap it up really well and save the rest for another time.
Like desert after lunch.
Bleargh! Just shoot me now. lol
Good night, loves.
I know that I have been a bit of a yak-box today. Haven't really said a whole hell of a lot but I managed to use a lot of words to do it.
Anyhoo...
This was a pretty decent day. I was calm in mind, strong in resolve and nicely balanced and in control. I likee. :D
My calories were a tad high... Today was Superdeeduper Delicious Big Old Subway Sandwich Day. But not out of the realm of a good day. I ended the day at 1567. Not too shabby.
I have an avocado ripening in a bowl on my kitchen counter.
Husband brought it home from the store for me, today. I wonder if Son is off tomorrow? The smart thing for me to do would be to hack that bad boy open (the avocado, not Son lololol) take my portion, add it to my lunch then give him the rest. Skinny little shit (Son, not the avocado) could use a few extra calories and the healthy fats contained within.
But...
Do I really want to share?
I could just take a portion of the avocado and rub the rest with lemon juice, wrap it up really well and save the rest for another time.
Like desert after lunch.
Bleargh! Just shoot me now. lol
Good night, loves.
Product Review ~~ Maybelline Define a Line Liner Pencil
I have been thinking about changing up how I wear eyeliner and since water lining has come back into favour, I decided that it was time for me to try it, again.
I normally line my eyes with Bare Escentuals Liner Shadow mixed with a drop of Visine. Works great for the outside lash line but the stuff just doesn't work for tight lining and lining the waterline. So, I decided to try a new liner pencil.
I went to a local drug store and picked up Maybelline Define-A-Line in Soft Black. I was hopeful that this pencil might be just the thing I needed. I used to line my waterline. Back in the eighties when all the girls did it. Black liner pencil, sharpened to a perfect nicety, held in the flame of a lighter for a mere second or two to soften it enough for it to apply smoothly.
Ah, memories. lol
I also remember the way that stuff used to smudge and run and move all over the place. I remember, along with everyone else, constantly running a finger along below my eyes to clean up the smudges and smears of bold, black liner trying valiantly to migrate down to my cheeks. I remember running to the ladies room to clean the black gunk out of the inner corners of my eyes, using a paper towel to clean up the smudges as best I could, then applying a fresh coat of the stuff, especially to my water line. Yepper. I and millions of other American gals looked so sharp.
If you call raccoons sharp. lol
In hopes of avoiding the repeat of the raccoon eye phase, I tried out my new liner. I decided to try it on a day I wasn't wearing makeup. That way, if it irritated my eyes or started to run or what have you, I wouldn't feel bad about having to wash my face. I applied the liner just to my lower water line and then I tight lined the inner upper lid, as well. And wore it around to see how well it performed.
First impressions of the liner were pretty positive. Soft Black is a good shade for me. I am fair and black-black is too overwhelming for my colouring. But the soft black is more greyed and worked well. The liner pencil, which comes in a swivel up case is soft and creamy smooth. It applied easily at a touch. No dragging, no pulling, no lighter required. The soft black shade made my eyes really stand out and enhanced my grey eye colour. So far, so good.
My eyeballs were a tad unhappy with me. It has been a long time since I lined that way and my eyes aren't used to it. I have very sensitive eyes and I was really pleased that this liner didn't cause any irritation or downright discomfort. After a little while, I got used to the liner being there and it stopped bothering me.
Unfortunately, this liner didn't work for tight lining. Like the liners of old, it ran, smeared, collected in the inner corners of my eyes. Yuk. What a mess. And it was the very dickens to wash off.
I think perhaps a good gel liner is what I need for this purpose. I'll have to grab one and see. :D
Pros of this liner:
Nice packaging. I like the swivel up liner. It is soft and creamy and easy-peasy to apply. I imagine it would be a nice liner for smokey eyes and smudged looks.
Cons:
This liner is not for tight lining or for use on the inner water line of the eye. It smears and runs like the very devil. And it is very difficult to cleanse away.
I will probably use this liner up, in time. Maybe. But I will definitely not be purchasing it again.
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