Snow frakkin' flurries.
The day started out alright... A little cool and windy but sunny and nice. As the day has progressed, tho dark clouds have blown in and the temp has dropped sharply. I put Sabryna outside to pee and shortly after I brought her in, the flurries began. The have ended, now. Nothing actually hit the ground... The snow was very fine and just blew and swirled through the air.
But it was still snow.
At the end of April.
And it is now colder than a witch's lunch bucket out there. Brrr... Guess the gal at Lowe's was right, after all. lol
Today is a little bit of a mess, food wise. I am sitting at 1501 for the day and dinner has yet to be had. Part of that was my weekly Subway sandwich. Not a problem. But about 400 of those calories was a little dry roasted peanut nosh I decided to have. Urgh. I knew what the hell I was doing when I did it. My head wouldn't still and I wanted to quiet my thoughts and it helped. And it was the wrong way to go about it.
After I finished the peanuts, I thought very carefully about what I had done and why. And I realised that had I just stopped, taken a few breaths and given myself a chance to think through why my head was busy, I could very well have handled it without eating the peanuts.
It isn't the 400 calories that is bugging me... 400 calories won't bring the world to a stop, it won't hurt me in the long run. It was why I ingested the 400 calories, my motivation. The fact that I allowed myself to, for a very brief amount of time once again treat food as if it were a drug, not the fuel I need to feed and nourish my body. I used it the wrong way and in doing so, hurt myself by abusing my trust in myself and my ability to think through difficulties and problems.
It hurts that I didn't trust myself. It hurts that I slid backward and into an old, destructive pattern. I hope that next time I feel this beginning, I can pull it back down by thinking it through and stopping it before it even gets as far as it did, today.
Oh wow. Now, the sky is clearing...
Arizona. Freaky weather central. lol
So what else is going on? My dog went outside earlier, came in and drank some water and instantly projectile vomited all over my laundry room floor. Lovely.
More like massively gross. *gag* And, since there were no guys home, I had to clean it up. I almost added to the mess, before I got it all cleaned up. *dry heave*
Okay, I think I have bored on enough, for now. I want to read blogs and catch up with everyone.
Later, gators. :D