Thursday, April 29, 2010

Oh, NO, No, No, No!!!

Flurries.

Snow flurries.

Snow frakkin' flurries.

The day started out alright... A little cool and windy but sunny and nice. As the day has progressed, tho dark clouds have blown in and the temp has dropped sharply. I put Sabryna outside to pee and shortly after I brought her in, the flurries began. The have ended, now. Nothing actually hit the ground... The snow was very fine and just blew and swirled through the air.

But it was still snow.

At the end of April.

And it is now colder than a witch's lunch bucket out there. Brrr... Guess the gal at Lowe's was right, after all. lol

Today is a little bit of a mess, food wise. I am sitting at 1501 for the day and dinner has yet to be had. Part of that was my weekly Subway sandwich. Not a problem. But about 400 of those calories was a little dry roasted peanut nosh I decided to have. Urgh. I knew what the hell I was doing when I did it. My head wouldn't still and I wanted to quiet my thoughts and it helped. And it was the wrong way to go about it.

After I finished the peanuts, I thought very carefully about what I had done and why. And I realised that had I just stopped, taken a few breaths and given myself a chance to think through why my head was busy, I could very well have handled it without eating the peanuts.

It isn't the 400 calories that is bugging me... 400 calories won't bring the world to a stop, it won't hurt me in the long run. It was why I ingested the 400 calories, my motivation. The fact that I allowed myself to, for a very brief amount of time once again treat food as if it were a drug, not the fuel I need to feed and nourish my body. I used it the wrong way and in doing so, hurt myself by abusing my trust in myself and my ability to think through difficulties and problems.

It hurts that I didn't trust myself. It hurts that I slid backward and into an old, destructive pattern. I hope that next time I feel this beginning, I can pull it back down by thinking it through and stopping it before it even gets as far as it did, today.

Oh wow. Now, the sky is clearing...

Arizona. Freaky weather central. lol

So what else is going on? My dog went outside earlier, came in and drank some water and instantly projectile vomited all over my laundry room floor. Lovely.

Not.

More like massively gross. *gag* And, since there were no guys home, I had to clean it up. I almost added to the mess, before I got it all cleaned up. *dry heave*

Stupid dog.

Okay, I think I have bored on enough, for now. I want to read blogs and catch up with everyone.

Later, gators. :D

9 comments:

  1. Wow - Snow in April! Yikes!

    Ewww on the doggie puke. I would have thrown up too!

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  2. I almost did. Luckily, I was able to cover it completely with an old towel and get it mopped up and tossed directly in my washer and run through with lots of hot water, detergent and bleach. If I would have had to look at it, I would have been a goner. I am a sympathetic puker. lol

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  3. I've had to clean up a lot of dog puke with our other dog Scruffy. She was sick a lot, poor thing. Sassy can toss her cookies every now and then too. I think you're doing great diet wise. You are able to recognize when you're doing something wrong. You'll get the hang of it. Snow, huh? It got up to the low 80's here.

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  4. yeah, it's supposed to snow here tonight.
    I know what you mean about the motivation about eating. It's something I am going to have to monitor the rest.of.my.life.
    Good on you for catching it and WHERE THE HELL IS SPRING!?
    Okay, I am done. lol.
    Have a great night.

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  5. I can't believe you're getting snow in Arizona and here in Ohio, it's lovely and 80 degrees!

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  6. Snow? It is 83 degrees here in PA. Wanna switch?

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  7. SM, Sabryna has always had what I call a sensitive tummy. Translation, she pukes all the time. Yuk.

    Chris, exactly. This has to become a lifelong thing. I can't just do whatever it takes to skate by then go on as if nothing happened. If I do, I'm screwed.lol

    If you find Spring, let me know, will ya?lol

    Kel, I can't believe it, either. lol

    Juliana, I'd love to. I am so over the cold. lol

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  8. I think we've had snow as late as May before, though admittedly, it is rare to get snow after March out here...or not that common, I suppose. More often in early April if it is going to come after March. Yeesh, talk about boring.

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