Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Whether this is a religious or secular holiday for you, my wishes are for a lovely, happy day for you and your loved ones.

I had a really good day, yesterday. Must have gotten whatever it was eating at me out fo my system. Maybe? lol ***snort*** Yeah. I came in just under 1100 for the day and wasn't hungry or feeling the need to feed. It was good. :D

Today, I am making our traditional spiral sliced ham and mashed potatoes. I make killer mashed potatoes. And when I say killer, I mean killer... Lots of real butter, full fat milk or cream, plenty of sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper. Stunningly delicious and a heart attack on a plate. Husband and Son will be having that and I will steam fresh veg, including cauliflower clouds, broccoli flowerettes and some lovely, fresh asparagus for me.

No candy has darkened my door. No Cadbury eggs. No jelly beans, no chocolate eggs, no Peeps. I am surprisingly good with that. lol I thought that I would be in an agony of sadness over the lack of Cadbury eggs but I am not. I am fine and not really missing them. Yay! Win! Score: Erika - 1. Cadbury eggs - 0. :D

It is a beautiful, bright sunny day. A little cool but lovely, none the less. It is quiet around here, right now. Son had to work, today and Husband is in the bathroom readying himself to go out and pick up potatoes and a few other things we need. I am listening to 80's music on one of my TV's music channels. Lionel Richie All Night Long. Good times. :D

Yes, I am old enough to remember the 80's. Obviously, since I have a grown son and have been married over 21 years. lol I never did say how old I am, tho did I? I am 45. And oddly enough, I am not freaked out by it. I like being 40-something. My thirties freaked me out. Big time. But I am liking my forties. I think I am going to come into my own, in this decade. I am beginning to grow a spine and make myself heard. It isn't happening fast but I am feeling the change. And I am liking it.

I am about done being Little Miss Compliant and Obedient. I have about fucking had it with the shenanegans of others and I am starting to call "Bullshit!" when I hear it. I am slowly regaining my fearlessness. I used to be fearless. Outspoken and brash. Never rude... I am a lady and always will be one. But I am growing tired of being a doormat. I am swiftly reaching the end of my tether with being manipulated, controlled and emotionally abused.

Someone is in for a huge shock, one day.

You see, this whole weight loss thing is multi faceted. I am doing it to save my life. I am also doing it to save me. And so that I can one day be employable. And so that I can run and fly. And find the real, authentic, unfettered me. She is in here, somewhere. And I really, really want to become reaquanted with her.

Yep. The girl has a plan. :D


  1. "And find the real, authentic, unfettered me. She is in here, somewhere. And I really, really want to become reaquanted with her."

    Yes! That is EXACTLY how I feel, exactly. I've called it "the journey to find the real me".

    We will, Erika. In fact, I should say we ARE. It's a process, and we are getting there.

  2. Hey Erika!!! I love this post....I used to be a doormat too in some cases, and I guess in some ways I still can be...but not much. Interestingly enough, a lot changed for me when I turned 30. I don't know why it happened at that particular age, but that's when I stopped putting up with a lot of sh*t from other people and calling them to the mat when they pissed me off, lol. It's quite liberating!!!! Hope you had a blessed Easter with your family....and I'm drooling over the sound of your mashed potatoes! lol

  3. Hey girls:D. Thank you for stopping in and reading. I appreciate your support. :D

    I have noticed that a lot of us who are battling obesity also work to find our true selves. I think that we lose a lot of ourselves when we get so heavy. :)

  4. Some astounding revelations here, Erika. Quite a joy to think on too. I wish you luck my unfettered...or soon to be unfettered...friend.

  5. Gee, I'm 10 years older than you, 55. I used to be a doormat too until menopause hit then I became very impatient with nonsense. Even though menopause is pretty much over I'm still impatient with nonsense. It's good to have a plan.


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