This is not a good day.
Oh, food wise it is okay. I am running a tad high, calorie wise... I did a little comfort eating earlier but I haven't blown it out or anything. I know that food doesn't solve anything and that is all that kept me from diving into the pantry and not coming out.
I am trying to numb myself out mentally, rather than through a physical source. It is just easier to shut down and not to feel, right now.
No work with weights. I don't have the desire to. I will walk. But at the moment I am just not giving much of a damn. About anything. I can't afford to feel at the moment. It is hurting me too much.
I am trapped. I can't get out and it is ripping me to pieces from the inside out. And today I am not able to push it down and pretend it isn't there. Maybe I will be able to tomorrow. God knows I have had enough practice. You would think it would be easier by now, wouldn't you?